Jessa didn't know what to do. She'd never been in a position like this before. To have one of her closest friends admit that she was in love with her was confusing.

Looking back on everything that she'd done with Lana, Jessa was starting to realize what had been going on right under her nose. Lana's nervousness when Jessa appeared suddenly. Lana blushing whenever Jessa complimented her. It was all made so, so much sense.

Being gay wasn't easy for Jessa. Her family didn't love the fact that she came out, but they hadn't shunned her, exactly. But she definitely wasn't in favor with her parents. And her friends before Hamilton had started to treat her differently, like having a 'gay' best friend would somehow make them cooler, or more special, because to them, being gay was a trend.

And Jessa hadn't ever found anyone that truly made her interested in dating. Sure, there were nice girls in the acting world, but no one showed interest, and no one was interesting enough.

Suddenly, now Lana dropped her confession on Jessa's shoulders like a ton of bricks.

Jessa didn't know who to turn to. She realized a minute after Lana left that she should have spoken up, she should have said something, at least to reassure Lana that they could still be friends, but she had been too shocked.

She went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face and passed Araella, who was walking down the hall with a pizza box in her hand.

"What's up, Jessa?" Araella asked. "You okay?"

Jessa swallowed. "I think I just rejected Lana," she said slowly. Araella almost dropped the box of pizza.

"What?!" Araella gasped. "She finally confessed?"

"You knew? What the hell, Araella? Why didn't you tell me?" Jessa demanded. "I would have been prepared!"

"It wasn't my thing to say, Jessa, besides, I don't think Lana was ready. You two are so close. She didn't want to ruin it," Araella said. "You rejected her?"

"Not intentionally, but-"

"What do you mean, not intentionally?" Araella asked. "Hold on, let's go to my room. Kaitlyn's not there, and talking in this hallway is awkward."

Once they got to Araella's room, they sat facing each other, Jessa on Kaitlyn's bed.

"So, what happened?" Araella prodded.

"I don't know, we were talking about relationships and I said something about how I didn't think any of the girls were interested in me, and then she said she was, and I thought I heard her wrong, and so I asked her to clarify and she said she liked me, and then I just sort of sat there," Jessa said, the words tumbling out her her mouth.

Araella blinked. "Wow, okay. Did you say something, at least? Or tell her that it was okay?"

"No, I was too surprised. It's just- for someone to drop a bombshell like that isn't something I'm prepared for 24/7, you know? Especially when it's my best friend."

"Jessamine Bradley, you need to at least go and talk to her and tell her that it's okay, even if you don't feel the same way," Araella scolded.

"I just don't know, Araella."

"Wait, do you feel the same way about her?"

"I. Don't. Know. I've only had about ten minutes to process the fact that my best friend has secretly been crushing on me without telling me for months now, and that she didn't trust me to just say it earlier, Araella!"

"It's not about trust, Jessa. It's about the fact that you're Lana's first girl crush and her best friend, and she doesn't want to lose your friendship. She'd rather not date you and just deal with it than not be friends with you because of her feelings."

Jessa put her head in her hands. "I don't know what to do."

"How do you feel about her? Would you at least think about dating her in the future, even if you're not ready now?"

"I haven't- I don't- do you have any idea what this is like, Araella? I'm supposed to just sift through all those months of friendship and figure out what part of it was friendship and what part of it was romantic and decide if I want to try and date someone who I thought was my best friend. It's like having a sister and saying 'wait no, she's not your sister, nevermind', and then having that sister say I want to date you.'"

"Well, sift through those months quickly, or else you won't have a best friend or a girlfriend," Araella said. "You need to decide if it's something you would consider. Don't hold it over her head for too long."

"This is the hardest thing I've ever done," Jessa groaned.

"It's not complicated. Are you willing to consider Lana as your partner in crime for life, with occasional kissing and whatnot thrown in, or do you just want to be friends, minus the romance? Can you see it happening, and do you like what you see?"

Jessa was silent.

"I can," she said softly.

"But do you want it?"

"Maybe part of me does, but part of me is afraid," Jessa confessed.

"Being afraid is something you can't control, but what you do with that fear might end up creating something you never thought you needed. I think you should at least say you're willing to think about it."

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oh look food for the children, with thanksgiving you would have thought i would have fed you tons BUT BOY WERE YOU WRONG