Chapter Four: My amnesia boy

"People say that together we we're both sides of the same coin and we would shine like Venus in a clear night sky. We thought our love could overcome the circumstances but my ambition won't allow for compromise. I could see in the distance all the dreams that were clear to me. Every choice that I had to make left you on your own, somehow our road we started down had split asunder, too late to realize how far apart we've grown. How I wish I, wish I've done a little bit more. Now, shoulda, woulda coulda means I'm out of time. Coz shoulda woulda, coulda can't change your mind. And I wonder, wonder what I'm gonna do. Shoulda, woulda, coulda are the last words of a fool..." Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda by Beverly Knight

oOo

How far are you willing to go for someone you love? How many odds are you willing to defy just to get that chance again? Will you be willing to hit rock bottom? Will you jump out of plane without a parachute? Will you pretend to have amnesia so that you can start with a somewhat clean slate? Would you risk the tiny hold you have on that special person in hopes to have full grasp again? Desperate times calls for drastic measures but does it make it right?

oOo

Present time:

"Jackson?" April said.

Jackson tore his eyes away from the ring and met April's gaze; "That's what I'm actually going to ask you" he said. He lifted the ring up, a confused look marring his face; "Are we married or something? Because this ring looks like a wedding band to me"

April's breath caught inside her throat as panic enveloped her body; she felt her knees buckle so she grabbed the nearest thing to her, which turns out to be the footboard. "W-what year are we in?"

Jackson furrowed his brows; "2014, why?"

April shifted closer to the bed and sat down; she placed her shaking hands on her lap, a perplexed look crossing her face. "W-what do you remember about us?"

"Us?"

April nodded; "Yeah, about us"

"We're best of friends" Jackson replied. His eyes then widen; "I didn't screw up right? I didn't fuck up our friendship?"

"Oh you did" April thought. She then shook her head to clear her thoughts; "That's all you remember? Seriously?" she asked.

Jackson nodded; "Yeah" he replied. He then wiggled his finger, emphasizing the ring again; "But I really don't understand why I have this, I'm confused - help me here Apes" he pleaded.

April buried her face into her palms and groaned loudly; "This can't be happening" she mumbled.

"This is really a bad idea, screw you Mark Sloan!" Jackson thought as he saw how panicked his wife looked.

oOo

"Don't forget to pick Zola up from dance class, I have a scheduled surgery so I can't be there on time" Meredith said.

Derek placed his hands on his wife's shoulder; "Don't worry about it, I won't forget" he said.

Meredith glared; "Make sure you remember, I don't want last time happening again."

Derek leaned forward and pecked Meredith on the lips; "It won't happen and again, I apologize" he said sincerely.

Meredith's gaze softened; "I forgive you"

Derek cracked a smile; "Thank you."

"Dr. Shepherd?"

Derek turned around and saw one of his resident's standing a couple of feet from him; "Yes, Brooks?"

"Dr. Avery sent me here to get you, it's her husband" Heather said.

Derek looked confused for a second but then again he remembered that April is back; "April is looking for me?"

"Yes, Dr. Kepner-Avery - I'm sorry to confuse you"

Meredith's brow furrowed in concern; "I dropped her off at Jackson's room, did something happen?"

Heather shifted on her feet; "Dr. Kepner-Avery thinks that Dr. Avery might have amnesia"

"Amnesia?" Derek asked.

"I thought you said he's okay in the head?" Meredith said.

Derek turned towards his wife; "He is, I checked him yesterday and he answered all my questions correctly."

"He's clearly not okay if April thinks he has amnesia" Meredith replied. She then grabbed her husband by his coat sleeve and began pulling him towards Heather; "Let's go check on him" she said.

oOo

"Could you please stop pacing Apes? You're making me dizzy not to mention anxious" Jackson said calmly.

April halted her steps and turned towards her husband; "I'm sorry, it's just - this can't be happening right now."

"Why don't you sit down and just explain to me what should not be happening?"

April resumed her pacing; "I - I can't, I need to speak to Derek first."

Jackson pointed towards the window; "There he is"

Derek entered the room with Heather and Meredith in tow; "What's happening here?" he asked.

April spun around; "Thank god you're here!" she breathed out. She then gestured towards Jackson, panic evident on her face; "Something is wrong with him" she said.

Derek walked towards the bed and stared at Jackson; "Does your head hurt?"

Jackson made a face; "No but there's kinda something wrong with my memory"

"Not kinda, something is wrong with it!" April exclaimed.

Meredith walked towards April and placed her arm around her shoulders; "Calm down Apes."

April shook her head; "I-I'm sorry, I need to step out" she said before making a bee line towards the door.

Both Jackson and Derek turned towards April; "Follow her" the latter said.

Meredith didn't need much prodding; she spun on her heels and followed the red head out.

Derek met Jackson's eyes; "Why does she think that your memory is faulty?"

Jackson lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers; "Maybe because I don't remember why I have this?" he suggested.

"You don't remember being married to her?"

Jackson's eyes widen dramatically; "So I'm actually married to her?"

Derek furrowed his brows, "Do you know what year we are in?"

"Why do you two keep on asking me that?" Jackson huffed irritably. "It's 2014"

Derek shoved his hands inside his labcoat, a pensive look crossing his face; "Because it seems to me that you remember everything correctly aside from your wife" he said. He then turned his face towards Heather; "Brooks, come over here"

Heather walked towards her mentor; "Yep?"

Jackson shifted his eyes between the two Neuro junkies; "Let's see if your prot is really doing her homework" he thought.

"What do you think is happening with Dr. Avery?" Derek asked.

"I don't want to jump into conclusions without further tests but it seems to me that he might be showing signs of Selective Amnesia" Heather replied.

"She's good" Jackson thought. "Selective Amnesia? What does that mean?"

Heather shifted on her feet; "It means that you lost memories but just selected few, in this case - your wife."

"Probable causes?" Derek asked.

"He hit his head pretty badly?" Heather answered.

Jackson rolled his eyes; "Everybody knows that Brooks"

"I was grasping straws there, sorry" Heather said awkwardly.

Jackson turned his gaze towards Derek; "Why April though?"

"You may not remember April because of a very painful memory or she might be your strongest memory during the time of your accident- it can be both" Derek explained.

Jackson leaned back on his pillow; "Painful memory? I don't recall having a fall out with her, I mean - she's my best friend for as long as I can remember"

Derek sighed; "I'm really not in the position to tell you things but let me talk to April and explain the situation, I'll send her in after"

"Okay, thanks man" Jackson said.

"Let's go Brooks" Derek said.

Heather threw Jackson an apologetic look before following her mentor.

Jackson waited for the door to close before letting out relieved sigh; "Damn, I must've sold myself short - who would've thought that I can act?" he murmured to himself. He then remembered his conversation with Mara; she knew he didn't lose his memory - he needs to warn her. He leaned to his side and grabbed his phone; he tapped on the screen and sent her a message.

oOo

"Calm down"

April halted her pacing and turned towards Meredith; "I can't calm down. What the fuck is wrong with him? Why can't he remember me?"

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation why he's like that" Meredith said, trying to soothe her friend's fried nerves. "He does remember you, right?"

"He remembers me as his best friend" April said. "How on earth can you forget that you're married and remember everything else? It's insane!"

Meredith spotted her husband; "Derek! We're here"

Derek walked towards his wife and the frazzled red head; "April"

"What's wrong with him Derek? Did he remember anything?" April asked.

"What's wrong with his head?"

Derek fixed his eyes on April; "Nothing is really definite at this time but I'll be running some more tests. However, my prognosis at the moment is Selective Amnesia."

"Oh god" April said as she buried her face in her palms again.

"Selective Amnesia?" Meredith asked.

Derek nodded; "Yes" he replied. "He can definitely remember April but not the last four years, he knows her and he knows that they are best of friends but he can't remember marrying her or anything after that."

April took her hands off her face; "It's not permanent right? Based from what I know about Selective Amnesia, the memory comes back eventually?"

Derek shifted on his feet; "I'm gonna be very upfront with you; in some cases they regain their memory after a week but for others, it never comes back. There were also cases wherein they would only remember snippets; a flash memory which was significant to them. It could be the best days of their lives; happiest, loneliest and so forth. It could also be music, food or places - nothing definite. No studies have really found any medication or treatment to retrieve someone's memory" he paused and threw April an apologetic look. "I hate to put you on the spot April but if you want him to remember what you have four years ago, you need to help him. You're the only one who can jog his memories because you created it with him."

"I need to sit down" April said shakily.

Meredith pointed towards the empty room on their right; "Let's go there"

April followed Meredith's instructions and made her way towards the room quietly.

Meredith turned towards Derek; "You need run the tests as soon as possible"

"I will do it right now" Derek replied before walking away.

Meredith nodded before following April; she entered the room and sat beside her distraught friend.

"I don't know why this is happening to me..."

"Rotten luck?" Meredith suggested.

April laughed dryly; "Very rotten indeed" she agreed.

"I know this is not the right time to broach the subject but you are welcome to stay with us for as long as you would like."

April turned her face towards Meredith, her eyes welling with tears; "Thank you" she said sincerely.

"You're welcome"

oOo

"Selective Amnesia? Really?" Stephanie said with wide eyes.

Heather nodded; "Yeah"

"But is that normal?" Leah asked.

Heather shrugged her shoulders; "It's possible, according to Dr. Shepherd, the memory loss can be temporary or permanent as of the moment nothing is definite yet, we will still be running some tests to see if that's the only area of his memory that's affected."

"Of all the things to forget, he forgets his wife - how convenient" Stephanie said.

Leah plopped down beside her friend; "I wonder if he remembers Dr. Keaton..."

"That would be a riot" Shane piped in. "Remembering the other woman and forgetting the wife, scandalous."

"Edwards! Murphy! Brooks! Ross!"

The four residents all turned around and saw Mark standing behind the nurses' station.

Mark braced his hands on his hips, a menacing look marring his features; "Are you here to learn or are you here to just gossip?"

Stephanie and Leah both shot up from their seat; "We're going" the latter said before pulling Stephanie away.

Shane gathered his charts; "I think Dr. Karev needs me" he said before scurrying.

Heather was about to make her own excuse but wasn't able to do so when she saw Mark beckoning her forward. "Y-yes, Dr. Sloan?"

"Is it true?"

Heather swallowed thickly; "What's true Sir?"

"What you said about Dr. Avery, does he have Selective Amnesia?" Mark asked.

"Yes Sir" Heather said. "Dr. Shepherd and I checked on him this morning and there seems to be a lapse in his memory. We will be running some tests later to check the extent of his memory loss."

Mark quirked a brow; "About what I heard, what does Ross mean when he said that he can remember the other woman but can't remember the wife?"

Heather looked uncomfortable; "Err-"

"Just spit it out" Mark snapped.

"It's just that Dr. Avery can't seem to remember that he's married to the other Dr. Avery"

"You mean to say that he can't remember being married to April Avery nee Kepner?"

"Yes"

"Okay, thank you" Mark said. "Go back to work"

Heather didn't need to be told twice, she left in a hurry.

Mark waited for Heather's back to disappear from his sight before he let a smirk tug on his lips; "So he followed my suggestion after all" he mused. "Time to pay amnesia boy a visit"

oOo

Mara knocked on Jackson's door before opening it; she peered inside and saw him watching T.V. "Hey"

Jackson turned towards the door and saw Mara standing by the door; "Why are you just standing there? Come in and close the door."

Mara entered the room and closed the door behind; "I came here as soon as I read your text, what's up?" she asked.

Jackson pointed towards the chair closest to the bed; "I need to ask you a favour"

Mara threw Jackson an intrigued look before sitting; "Sounds ominous" she joked.

Jackson flinched; "Not really"

Mara crossed her legs and stared at Jackson expectantly.

Jackson placed his hands on his lap; "I - err -"

"Out with it, I don't have all day you know"

Jackson cleared his throat; "I kinda fibbed having amnesia" he blurted out.

Mara's eyes widen in shock; "YOU WHAT?"

Jackson scratched the back of his head; "I pretended to have amnesia" he repeated.

"For what?"

Jackson's cheeks flush; "It was actually Mark's idea - to keep April here longer..."

Mara folded her arms on top of her chest; "You're lying to keep her here, is that it?"

"That's the idea" Jackson replied. "But I won't do it for long, one month max"

Mara quirked a brow; "If you're pretending to have amnesia, how can you explain knowing some of us?" she asked.

"Are you familiar with Selective Amnesia?"

"You're pretending not to remember your wife specifically?"

"I remember her, I just don't remember marrying her" Jackson said.

Mara wrinkled her nose in disgust; "That's a low blow"

"I'm grasping straws here" Jackson explained. He then began fiddling with his wedding ring; "I know April, she'll leave once she finds out that I'm okay...I don't want her to leave..."

Mara uncrossed her legs and leaned forward; she braced her elbows on top of her knees and clasped her hands under her chin. "Just tell her the truth, do what you were planning to do before you had the accident."

"I'm still gonna do what I'm supposed to do, I just need to buy more time"

"It just doesn't feel right" Mara said. "Lies brought you to this predicament, lies won't fix it."

Jackson was getting upset; "Don't you think I know that?"

Mara studied Jackson's face; "You want me to keep quiet?"

"Please?" Jackson asked desperately.

Mara pursed her lips before standing up; "Fine, I won't say a bloody word but don't tell me I didn't warn you" she said.

"Thank you" Jackson said with a small smile.

Mara shoved her hands inside her labcoat pockets; "Is there anything else?"

"No, that's it"

"I'll go now, I don't want your Mother seeing me here again, I don't fancy being thrown out" Mara said as she walks towards the door.

"I'm sorry about that" Jackson said sincerely.

"Its fine" Mara replied. She opened the door but paused by the doorframe; "Jackson?"

"Yeah?"

"Think hard about this, please?" Mara said seriously. "It's just that you're my friend and I don't want you making the same mistake again..."

"I already thought about this and I promise, I won't prolong this charade more than I need to - trust me."

Mara nodded; "Okay" she said before stepping out.

Jackson leaned back on his pillows; "I can do this, not more than 1 month" he said to himself.

oOo

Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital: One year after April's departure

"You mean to say that we're hiring a new Attending Urologist?" Cristina clarified.

"Yes" Owen replied. "Today is Dr. Fitzgerald's last day"

"Did you start interviewing applicants already?" Meredith asked.

Owen leaned back on his chair; "The Foundation already sent their candidate and she will be arriving here today"

Jackson frowned; "What do you mean the Foundation sent their candidate?"

"It meant exactly that" Richard said. "I spoke with your Mother yesterday and she told me that the Foundation will be sending one of her former students."

"One of her students?" Mark clarified.

"Yes, as a matter of fact she already came here to visit a few years ago" Richard explained. He then turned his eyes towards Jackson; "Do you remember Dr. Mara Keaton?" he asked.

Mark's eyes widen; "The British delight?"

Lexie pinched Mark's arm; "Stop being crude!"

"Ouch!" Mark yipped. "No need to be violent woman"

Cristina turned her face towards Jackson; "The woman you took to Mama Avery's gala?" she asked with a quirked brow.

Jackson felt a tightening in the pit of his stomach but kept his face passive; "Yeah" he replied.

Mark snorted but kept his mouth shut.

Jackson threw Mark a sharp look before moving his eyes to Owen; "You said she will be arriving today?"

Owen took a peek at his watch; "She'll be here in two hours"

Jackson nodded but didn't say anything about the matter further.

oOo

Mara Keaton entered Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital for the second time in her life; when she left all those years ago, she never thought she'd come back nor did she even envision working here. She surveyed her surroundings and saw a familiar face standing by the receptionist desk; she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder before sauntering towards the figure. Once she's a couple of feet away, she cleared her throat loudly, announcing her presence.

Jackson tore his eyes away from his tab and turned towards the sound; "Dr. Keaton" he said politely.

Mara smiled shyly; "Dr. Avery, it's nice seeing you again"

Jackson stood straighter and made his way towards her; "Welcome to Seattle Grace Mercy West" he said formally.

Mara couldn't help but raised her brow with his aloofness; "No need to be super formal, you know"

Jackson cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the familiarity; "Okay, how was your flight?"

"Better than expected" Mara replied. "Where is Dr. Hunt? I actually thought he'd be the one to welcome me"

"Dr. Hunt got pulled into an emergency surgery so he was replaced by me"

"I see" Mara replied. She then took a deep breath before shifting closer so no one could hear them; "Let's get the cat out of the bag now, shall we? I know something happened between the two of us last time I was here but I don't have any intention of having a repeat performance. I'm here for work and I'd appreciate it big time if everything between us stays friendly. You're the only one I'm familiar with in this bloody hospital so I would really like it if we can be friends."

Jackson stared at Mara for a couple of seconds before letting out the breath he seems to be holding; "You don't have any idea how relieved I am to hear that."

Mara chuckled; "I take it that you want the same thing?"

"I do" Jackson said with a small smile.

Mara smiled back; "Good, now can you bloody shake off the third degree and start treating me like a friend and not a blast from the past that you're just dying to get rid off?"

For the first time in months, Jackson let out a full belly laugh.

oOo

Weeks passed by and so is Jackson and Mara's new found friendship; it turns out that they have a lot in common so it was easy to get along with each other. A lot of people in the hospital are not buying that it's just friendship between them, most often than not, they were construed as lovers. Jackson on his part thinks that they don't owe anyone any explanations so he neither confirmed nor denied the allegations. Mara on the other hand, tried explaining that everything is just strictly platonic but she soon grew tired. Their mutual silence about the issue only added fuel to the fire, making them the center of gossip among their peers. Neither of them really cared though, because they know the real score and for them, that is all that matters.

It was a slow Monday and Jackson is standing at the lobby waiting for Mara; he was leaning idly on the receptionist desk when he noticed a tall guy watching him intently. He has no intention of acknowledging the stranger but he was stripped off of the choice when the man approached him.

The stranger held out his hand; "Dr. Liam Noble"

Jackson shook Liam's hand firmly; "Dr. Jackson Avery" he introduced himself. "How can I help you?"

Liam let his hand fall to his side; "It's nice to meet you, I'm actually looking for my girlfriend - Dr. Mara Keaton"

"I didn't know she has a boyfriend" Jackson thought. He was about to tell Liam about meeting Mara for lunch but he wasn't able to do so when he spotted her exiting the lifts; "There she is" he said.

Liam turned around and followed Jackson's gaze.

Mara's brows furrowed when she recognized the man standing beside Jackson, she stopped a couple of feet away from them, obviously keeping her distance; "What are you doing here?" she asked coldly.

Liam smiled; "Is that the proper way to greet your boyfriend after not seeing him in months?"

Mara scowled; "Stop implying that were in a relationship because we're not, I'll bloody castrate you and shove your balls in your cheating arse if you say that again" she warned.

Jackson's eyes widen in shock; he stared at Liam before moving his eyes back to Mara.

Liam's smile didn't falter; he took a step towards Mara and held out his hand. "Let bygones be bygones love, come give me a proper greeting."

Mara scoffed in disbelief; "Bygones be bygones? Are you bloody mental? And keep your philandering hand to yourself, I don't even want to know where that came from."

Liam let his hand fall to his side, a pained look crossing his features; "I apologized for that already, I thought you forgave me..."

"Sorry doesn't fix everything" Mara said stiffly.

Liam took a step towards Mara; "Don't be like that"

Mara took a step back; "Please leave" she said. She then turned her gaze towards Jackson; "Let's go"

Jackson pulled away from his perch and made his way towards Mara.

Liam switched his eyes between the two, his face turning dark; "So it's true, you really moved here so you can fuck your way to the top" he paused to scoff. "What better way to do that than to pursue Harper Avery's grandson, you really are a piece of work."

Jackson's brow furrowed; "You stop right there buddy" he warned.

Mara threw Liam a murderous look; "I'm where I am at right now because of hard work not because I fucked my way up - I'm not like you" she spat.

"What do you mean by that?" Liam hissed.

"Oh come on Liam, don't play daft with me! Everybody knows you fucked your way up, you wouldn't have been named Department Head if you hadn't slept with Carlton!"

Liam's face turned an angry shade of red; "Why you-" he snapped as he charged towards Mara.

Jackson grabbed Mara out of the way and placed her behind him; "I would have to ask you to leave Dr. Noble" he said firmly.

Liam's hands curled into a tight fist; "Who the fuck do you think you are to ask me to leave? You're just an Avery, you don't own this fucking place"

Mara pushed Jackson aside and began lunging towards Liam. "He can throw you out of this place because he bloody owns it you daft prick!"

Jackson caught Mara just in time; "Calm down, you're making a scene" he said through gritted teeth. He then turned his eyes to Liam; "Get the hell out of here or I'll have security kick your ass to the curb" he hissed.

"And that just explains everything!" Liam sneered. "He's not just an Avery, he owns a freaking hospital - I should have known! You really are a gold digging slut."

Jackson felt his anger flare; he deposited Mara on his side before throwing a right hook at Liam's face.

Liam landed on his ass; "Mother fucker" he groaned as he covers his left eye.

"Fucking bastard" Jackson cursed as he shook his hand to get rid of the pain.

Mara slapped Jackson's shoulder; "Why did you to that? You have a surgery in an hour, Sloan will kill me!" she said in panic.

"I just defended your honour and all I get is a slap on the shoulder? Gee, you're welcome Mara" Jackson said sarcastically.

Mara rolled her eyes; "Thank you for defending my honour" she said sincerely. "But won't you get in trouble for punching him?"

"I don't give a flying fuck, that bastard had it coming" Jackson said. He then moved towards the receptionist desk; "Call security and have them throw that piece of shit out of my hospital, he's banned from entering this place, do you understand me?"

"Y-yes, Dr. Avery"

"Thank you" Jackson said. He then turned towards Liam and saw him standing; "I don't ever want to see your face here again and if I hear you spouting crap about Mara I won't think twice about breaking every single bone in your body" he sneered.

"You won't get away with this Avery, I'll press charges"

"Go on ahead, press charges, I don't give a damn" Jackson said. He then took a step forward and stared at the other man menacingly; "But if you do, you're gonna have to kiss your career goodbye because I'm gonna make sure that no hospital in this country will ever hire you - I'm an Avery after all, connections does wonders."

Liam threw Jackson a disgusted look as he straightened his suit; he flipped them a finger before storming towards the exit.

Mara blinked a couple of times; "Can you really do that?"

"Nah, I'm just trash talking him"

Mara stared at Jackson for a moment before bursting into fits of giggles.

Jackson lifted his hand and started flexing it; "I don't think anything is broken" he said with a grimace.

Mara stepped closer and gently took his hand; she examined it thoroughly before meeting Jackson's eye. "I don't think it's broken but we better ice it before it swells"

Jackson pulled his hand away; "Your ex boyfriend has a thick face - literally" he mused.

Mara wrinkled her nose in disgust; "I don't even know what I saw in him, I can't believe I had sex with that wanker"

Jackson scrunched his face; "TMI"

Mara waved her hand dismissively; "Sorry" she said. She then gestured towards the corridor leading to the pit; "Let me clean that first before we leave, we don't want people thinking that you went into a punching spree" she said as she began walking.

"It kinda felt good hitting someone" Jackson admitted.

Mara threw Jackson a side glance; "Don't make it a habit."

Jackson rolled his eyes as he fell into step with Mara; "I'm not saying I will" he said. "By the way, why didn't you tell me anything about having a cheating pig of a boyfriend?"

"Same reason why you didn't tell me about your estranged wife"

Jackson winced; "I don't talk about her because it just hurts more when I do..." he said quietly.

"I understand - I was in the same position months ago" Mara said. "Talking about it helps though,"

Jackson pushed the door open; "I know it helps but I can't even say her name without feeling a sharp pain in my chest - talking about it in details will surely send me to cardiac shock and I don't want to die yet."

"You would have to talk about it eventually" Mara said. "Saying her name is the first step to recovery but if you can't say it yet then we can start calling her she-who-must-not-be-named as practice"

"You did not just compare my wife to Voldemort" Jackson said, amusement evident in his tone.

Mara chuckled; "I'm not comparing her to the Dark Lord, you don't want to hear her name so we'll use that as a code."

"She-who-must-be-named" Jackson repeated slowly. "That can work but only for now and nobody can know it, understand?"

"Aye" Mara replied.

Jackson shook his head; "Here we go again with your out of this world lingo."

oOo

"Is it true? Did Jackson really hit that guy?" Cristina asked as she places her tray on top of the table.

"He did" Meredith replied.

"I heard it was Keaton's boyfriend" Lexie piped in.

Cristina sat down; "Why would he hit Keaton's boyfriend? I thought they were just friends?"

Meredith shrugged her shoulders; "That's what we've been trying to figure out for the past 15 minutes"

"What does your boyfriend think?" Cristina asked before taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Mark was furious, he was supposed to do the surgery with him today but since Jackson's hand is kinda busted he had to do it alone" Lexie explained.

"I didn't know that, is it broken?" Meredith asked.

"Nah, just swollen" Lexie replied.

Cristina swallowed her food before speaking; "I was actually close to believing that he and Keaton are just friends but based from what happened, I'm not buying it anymore. Remember the last time he went fist happy and broke my brand new coffee table?"

"Ooohh, I remember that! He almost broke Alex's nose because he tried to make out with April" Lexie said.

"Let's not forget about the Boards" Meredith said.

"See? Avery is not the type of guy who goes all Rocky if he doesn't have any emotional attachment" Cristina explained. "He beat the shit out of Alex because he defended April, he would've punched that asshole from Case Western Reserve if April didn't start beating that piece of shit herself."

Meredith leaned back on her seat and stared at her best friend seriously; "Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"

Lexie threw her sister a confused look; "You know what she's thinking?"

"Yeah" Cristina replied.

"What is she thinking?" Lexie asked.

Meredith turned towards Lexie; "She's telling April"

"Oh"

"She has the right to know" Cristina said defensively.

"I know that" Meredith said. "Just try to be less you when you tell her"

Cristina just raised her brow as a response.

oOo

Present time:

Catherine was walking along the hallway when she noticed April sitting inside a vacant room; she walked towards it and peered inside. "April?"

April turned towards the voice; "Catherine..." she greeted.

"What are you doing here?" Catherine asked as she steps into the room.

"Just thinking" April replied. "Something happened..."

"What? Is it Jackson?"

April shifted on her perch and gathered her hands on her lap; "It has something to do with him but don't worry, he's alright-" she paused. "Kinda..."

Catherine furrowed her brows; "What do you mean?"

"He has selective amnesia and he forgot me"

"He forgot you?"

April felt her eyes sting with tears; "Well not fully, he still remembers me but as his best friend and not his wife..."

"Oh good lord" Catherine gasped.

April wiped her eyes; "Derek will still be running more tests to check the extent of it but it seems like it's just his memory of me that's lost"

Catherine walked towards the red head and sat beside her; she pulled her hands and gathered it on her lap. "My son loves you too much to forget you sweetheart, he'll get those memories back..."

"I don't know why this is all happening now..."

"Everything happens for a reason, we might not know the purpose of it now but in due time we will..."

April leaned her head on Catherine's shoulder; "I hope you're right..."

"I'm always right" Catherine said confidently.

oOo

"Hey Pinocchio"

Jackson's eyes snapped open; he turned towards the door and saw his mentor leaning by the door frame. "What?"

Mark crossed his arms on top of his chest, a sly smirk playing on his lips; "I called you Pinocchio" he repeated.

Jackson scowled; "Stop calling me that" he hissed. "Someone might hear you"

Mark chortled happily; he pulled away from his perch and made his way towards his prot. He plopped down on the bed; "I heard..." he trailed off.

"So?"

Mark leaned back on the footboard; "How was it? Give me details."

Jackson sighed; "It worked but April looked like she's in physical pain, she literally run out of the room."

Mark nodded; "That should be expected"

"Am I doing the right thing? I mean, I'm lying to her again for goodness sake!" Jackson whispered anxiously.

"Do you want her to stay longer?"

"Yes"

Mark scooted closer; "I'm not saying that lying is right but as of the moment that's your only option. We both know that once Derek clears your head she'll be on the first flight out of here" he explained. "And besides, the ball is already rolling and it's too late to make it stop now - just focus on your game and do your best to be the man she deserves."

Jackson cracked a smile; "When did you become so smart?" he teased.

Mark huffed; "What are you talking about? I've always been smart."

Jackson snorted; "If you say so."

"Whatever, Pinocchio!"

"Stop calling me that!"

oOo

Catherine stood up from her perch and offered her hand to April; "Come on"

April grasped Catherine's hand; "Where are we going?" she asked as she hopped off the bed.

"To see your amnesia boy" Catherine replied.

April hesitated; "I don't think-"

"No, you're not hiding in here, he might not remember being married to you but he can certainly remember you as his best friend." Catherine interjected. She then squeezed April's hand and stared into her eyes seriously; "I know this is really hard for you, given your history but sweetheart, put your place in his shoes - even for just today. Would you want your best friend avoiding you after you just found out that you have amnesia and manage to forget a large portion of your life?" she asked.

April pursed her lips; "Well that makes me feel like the world's biggest jerk"

Catherine offered a small smile; "We both know that's not true, amnesia boy owns that title" she finished with a conspiring wink.

A chuckle escaped April's lips even before she was able to stifle it.

oOo

"Owen?"

Owen halted his steps when he saw his wife standing by the coffee cart; a smile curled up his lips as he made his way towards her. "Hey"

Cristina handed the barista bills before grabbing her cup; "What are you doing here? You're not due till tomorrow morning"

Owen swept Cristina into a hug, minding the hot beverage in her hand; "The conference finished early so I had the chance to catch an early flight out" he explained. "I missed you"

"I missed you too" Cristina replied as she pulls away from the hug. "Did you come here straight from the airport?"

"Nope, I went home first to take a shower and to drop my things off" Owen replied.

Cristina cocked her head to the side, her eyes narrowing into slits; "You're here to make sure that April hasn't left"

Owen scratched the back of his head; "Am I that obvious?" he asked sheepishly.

"Subtlety isn't really your strong point honey" Cristina said while patting Owens' shoulder. "You're in luck, she's still here and it looks like she won't be going anywhere soon"

"Why do you think that?"

"Avery seemed to knock his head hard during the accident - he has amnesia."

Owens' eyes widen in shock; "Amnesia?"

Cristina waved her hand dismissively; "It's not the whole she bang so don't get your feathers ruffled."

"What do you mean not the whole she bang?" Owen asked with furrowed brows, clearly confused with his wife's statement.

Cristina took another sip of her drink; "Derek told Mer and then she told me that Pretty boy suffered from Selective Amnesia, apparently he remembers everything aside from his wife."

"He doesn't remember April?" Owen asked. "At all?"

Cristina looked somewhat ecstatic; "Oh, that's where the shit started hitting the fence - he remembers Kepner alright but not marrying her - he sees her as his best friend from four years ago and not as his alienated wife."

Owen rested his hands on his hips; "Now that's just shitty"

"Drama here we come!" Cristina exclaimed.

"Cristina..."

"Oh stuff it! You know for a fact that what I'm saying is true" Cristina quipped.

Owen just shook his head.

oOo

"Stop fidgeting for goodness sake!" Catherine chastised.

April wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans before folding her arms on her chest; "I'm sorry - I can't help it if I'm jittery!"

Catherine fought the urge to roll her eyes; "It's gonna be fine April" she said. "Can I open the door now?"

April took a deep calming breath before nodding; "Go on"

Catherine shook her head in amusement; she turned the knob and pushed the door open. She stepped inside the room and saw her son watching T.V; "Hey baby" she greeted.

"Hey Mom" Jackson replied, not taking his eyes off of the television.

April closed the door behind her and cleared her throat loudly; "H-hey"

Jackson's head automatically snapped to the side upon hearing the familiar voice; "Hey Apes" he said with a smile.

Catherine moved towards the bed and sat down; she captured Jackson's hand and gathered it on her lap, just like what she did for April a couple of minutes ago. "Is it true baby? You've forgotten your wife?"

April cringed but kept her mouth shut.

Jackson's face fell; "It's true" he replied despondently. He then moved his gaze towards April and threw her an apologetic look; "I'm really sorry April - I didn't mean for this to happen..."

"I-I know and I'm sorry for running off earlier - I just panicked" April admitted sheepishly.

"It's understandable, don't worry about it" Jackson said.

Catherine gently turned her son's face towards hers, meeting his eyes directly; "Are you sure you don't remember anything baby?"

Jackson can almost hear his heart beating, his skin started to prickle with fear; his mother can always tell when he's lying and right now she's using her Mama Eyes on him - he's screwed. He swallowed the thick lump in his throat and soldiered on; "I really don't" he lied.

Catherine let her hand drop; "Faking amnesia, damn he's good" she thought. "Okay"

"Damn it to hell, she knows! She fucking knows!" Jackson thought. He averted his gaze and grabbed the remote control; he pointed it towards the T.V and switched it off. "I think I'll have a shut eye, my head hurts"

April's brows furrowed in concern; "Do you want me to page Derek?"

Jackson opened his mouth to respond but his mother cut him off; "Oh he's just fine sweetheart, don't worry about him" Catherine said with a smile.

"Okay" April replied. She was about to ask further but wasn't able to do so when the door burst open; she turned towards it and saw Shane.

Shane threw the room occupant's an apologetic look; "I'm sorry to disturb you but Dr. Hunt sent me here to get Dr. Kepner"

Catherine raised her brow; "Its Dr. Avery dear, address your superiors correctly."

"I-I'm sorry, it won't happen again" Shane said.

April cleared her throat; "It's okay, where is he?"

"He's waiting for you in his office" Shane replied.

"Tell him I'll be there" April replied.

Shane didn't linger long; he bowed his head as acknowledgement before scampering away.

April shoved her hands inside her pockets; "Well, I better go check what the Chief needs"

Catherine nodded; "Go on ahead"

Jackson looked at April hopefully; "See me later? Please?"

"I will" April replied with a small smile before leaving the room quietly.

Catherine waited for a couple of minutes before turning towards her son; her brow raised, her lips curling into a mischievous smile. "Getting desperate are we? Faking amnesia? Brilliant!"

Jackson covered his face with his hands and groaned.

Catherine chuckled; "Don't be such a Drama Queen, I promise not spill the beans to your wife"

Jackson pulled his hand away, a surprised look marring his face; "Y-you're not going to bust my ass and tell April?"

Catherine lifted her hand and began studying her nails; "Why would I do that? I want you two to get back together as much as you do - if faking amnesia gets the job done then I'm all for it"

"Really?"

Catherine let her hand drop and fixed her eyes on her son; "I only have one condition"

Jackson gulped; "What is it?"

"Make sure you do things right this time, don't screw up and don't hurt her anymore. Do your hardest to win that woman back, grovel if you must - to hell with your pride, we both know how well it kept you warm at night for the past 4 years" Catherine said seriously.

Jackson smiled; "Yes ma'am"

Catherine leaned forward and pinched Jackson's cheek; "I'm so proud of you! My baby has finally found his balls! I thought you lost it permanently!"

"MOM!"

oOo

Owen was riffling through some documents when he heard a faint knock on his door; "Come in"

April stepped into the room; "Chief" she greeted with a large smile.

"It's been years" Owen replied with a smile.

April walked towards the desk and sat on the chair right in front of it; "It is and it feels good to be back" she admitted.

Owen stacked the papers and placed it in his in-tray; "It's good to have you back" he countered.

April crossed her legs; "So, how can I help you?"

Owen chuckled; "I can see that something hasn't changed, huh?"

April felt her cheeks flush; "Yeah..."

"Now, let's not beat around the bush any longer because I know you have other things to do" Owen said.

April nodded; "The floor is yours Chief"

Owen opened his drawer to grab a brown envelop; he placed it right in front of April and leaned back on his chair. "I'm stepping down as Trauma Head and I want you take my position - that envelope right in front of you contains the offer, why don't you open it."

April stared at Owen in shock, when Shane told her that Owen wanted to talk to her - this is the last thing she expected. With shaking hands, she pulled the envelope towards her and pried it open; she pulled the documents inside and began perusing its contents - her eyes growing wider and wider with each paragraph.

Owen bit the inside of his cheek as he watches April; he knew that what he's asking her is not easy but it's something that he needed to do. She's been gone far too long and he knew that it's finally time to come back home; she deserves the spot and if there's one person he'd be happy to pass it on to, it would be her.

April tore her eyes away from the paper and met her mentor's gaze; "I-I don't know what to say - this is too much..."

Owen braced his elbows on the arm rest and clasped his hands under his chin; "I'm not expecting you to give me an answer now because I know there are a lot of factors to consider" he said.

April blinked a couple of times, still overwhelmed with what she was offered; "Yeah, I need to think about this..."

Owen smiled to re-assure April; "That's all I ask"

oOo

April left Owens' room still in a daze; she aimlessly made her way towards the elevator and punched the button subconsciously. She tucked herself in the corner and lowered her eyes to the envelope that she's holding; she tightened her hold on it and closed her eyes. Not a week ago, her life was exactly where she wanted it to be; comfortable and safe but with just a single phone call, all of that seems to vanish in thin air. She heard the elevator chime open so she opened her eyes; she pulled away from her perch and stepped out. She slowly walked towards the helipad and stood at the center; she lifted her face towards the clear afternoon sky and took a deep breath. She has a lot of decision to make and thinking about it makes her head hurt; she needed a breather and this rooftop seems to be the best spot to do that.

oOo

Owen was walking along the hallways when he heard his name being called; he halted his steps and turned around. "Dr. Avery"

Catherine stopped right in front of Owen; "You gave me quite an exercise there, you walk so fast" she said with a smile.

Owen smiled shyly; "Err - yeah, trauma habit - sorry"

Catherine chuckled; "It's okay, are you in a hurry? Can I have a word with you?"

"Of course, let's go to my office?"

"Lead the way"

oOo

"This might be a medical emergency or I'll be forced to strangle you"

"She knows!"

Mark folded his arms on top of his chest, his brows furrowing; "Who knows?"

"My mom! That crazy woman knows I'm faking it!" Jackson said, panic evident in his voice.

"How the hell did she know?" Mark asked, aghast.

"She always knows when I'm lying to her, it's her Mama Eyes!"

Mark snorted; "Mama Eyes?"

"YES!" Jackson snapped. "Don't tell me your Mom can't read you?"

Mark wrinkled his nose; "My mom doesn't give a fuck about me - lying or not, so I don't know Mother's can do that"

Jackson's face softened; "I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to-"

"Stop right there" Mark interjected. "This is not about my crappy parents, it's about you. So tell me, what did she say? Will she bust your ass and tell Mrs. Avery that you're lying through your teeth?"

"Shhhhhhh! Jesus! Not so loud!" Jackson chastised. "Anyway, no - she's actually quite supportive about it"

Mark let out a bark of laughter; "I really really like your mother, she's awesome"

"She has her moments" Jackson replied.

Mark shoved his hands inside his labcoat pocket; "So, is that it?"

Jackson nodded; "Yeah"

"Well, if your done panicking like a girl having her first period then I have to leave - I actually work here, you know."

"Fine. Go. Thanks!"

"Anytime" Mark said before stepping out of the room.

oOo

"Basically, you're appointing April as Jackson's replacement for the mean time?" Owen clarified.

"Yes" Catherine replied. "I was supposed to step in for him but unfortunately I have some prior commitments in Boston that I cannot cancel. April is still my son's legal wife so in his or my absence she is automatically appointed."

Owen nodded; "I understand. Have you talked to her about this already?"

"Not yet but don't worry about it, I'll take care of that" Catherine replied.

"Okay" Owen replied. He then cleared his throat and met Catherine's eyes; "As you know I'm stepping down as Trauma Head because I wanted to focus more on being Chief - I just offered her my position and I'm hoping that she'll accept it."

Catherine's lips curled into a smile; "My my, looks like I'm not the only one who wants her back"

Owen leaned back on his chair and smiled; "Let's just say that I think it's time for her to come home."

"Ditto"

oOo

True to her words, April made her way back to Jackson's room; she knocked on the door before peeking inside. "Hi"

"Hi" Jackson replied. He then scooted back and sat straighter; "I thought you'd never come back" he said awkwardly.

April stepped into the room and closed the door behind her; "I said I would" she replied. She then made her way towards the bed and sat near the footboard; "Are you feeling a tad better? Does your head still hurt?" she asked.

Jackson shook his head; "No, I'm fine - the shut eye helped."

"Good" April replied. She then placed her hands on her lap, fumbling with her fingers nervously; "Still can't remember anything?"

"I'm trying but it's like I'm hitting a brick wall every time I force myself to remember" Jackson lied.

"Don't rush it - it will come to you" April said with a small smile.

"Time to address the proverbial elephant in the room" Jackson thought. He cleared his throat and placed his hands on his lap; "I - I know I said I can't remember anything about you but I don't feel that way..."

April's breath hitch inside his throat; "W—what do you mean?"

"Time for the kill" Jackson thought. "I don't know, I can't explain it. All I know is that every time I look at you, my heart goes haywire and whenever you leave the room it's like I can't breathe..."

April felt her heart skip a beat at his admission; "R-really?"

"Yes" Jackson replied. "This may sound weird but can I touch your hand?"

April swallowed thickly; "Why?"

"I just want to test something" Jackson replied. He then held out his right hand; "Please?"

April stared at his hand before meeting Jackson's eyes; she wanted to say no but when she saw the look on his eyes, she knew she couldn't refuse him. She took a deep breath and shifted closer; she lifted her hand and slowly placed it in his.

Jackson's heart started jack-hammering inside his chest; he gently squeezed April's hand before lacing their fingers together.

April wanted to pull her hand away but for some reason, she can't make herself do it.

Jackson tugged on April's hand and splayed it on his chest; "Can you feel that?"

April's eyes widen in concern; "W-why is your heart beating so fast? Are you feeling ill?"

Jackson kept April's hand in place, a small smile curling on his lips; "This is exactly how I feel every time you're near, my heart is beating so fast that I had to catch my breath" he said. His face then turned serious; "I may not remember what we had four years ago Apes but my heart clearly does"

"Jackson..." April breathed out, tears forming in her eyes.

"I may or may not fucked things up between us because I don't remember but if I did I'm sorry" Jackson said earnestly. "I haven't felt this way about anyone else and I want to hold on to it..."

April tried to pull her hand away but Jackson's hold is firm; "You're just saying that now because you don't remember anything" she said. "And what about Mara?"

Jackson furrowed his brows; "What about Mara?" he asked.

April yanked her hand away forcefully; "Did you forget about her too?"

"No - I remember her clearly. Why are you bringing her up?" Jackson asked, his face showing that he's becoming upset.

April stared at her husband incredulously; "Because she's your girlfriend for goodness sake! You can't just - just say things like that when you're with her."

"What are you talking about? Mara and I are not together - we've never been more than friends"

April look dumbfounded; "Y—you were never a couple?"

"No! Who told you that?" Jackson demanded.

"Damn it Cristina!" April thought. "I-I just thought that..."

"I vividly remember everything about Mara Keaton and she's never been more than a friend to me" Jackson said firmly.

April just stared at Jackson, clearly lost for words.

Jackson leaned forward and tried his hardest to grab April's hand; once he has it, he pulled it toward his lips and planted a kiss on her knuckles. "I may not remember everything about us but I want to - help me remember Apes, help me remember how much I love you because in my heart I already know I do."

April stared into his eyes and saw the truth in his words but she can't help but question if it's enough. She always thought that their love didn't survive the wreckage but here he is - professing his love for her and its making her head spin. Four years has already passed by and things have been irrevocably changed; they both learned to grow together but were forced to grow apart - would things still work for them? Can he trust his words again and hope that the odds are in their favour? Is she willing to take that leap again?