A myriad of emotions passed over his face—shock, sadness, longing, love, lust, then finally determination set in. He got to his feet and held a hand out to me. A slight spark into his hand made him wince. My lack of trust in him was breaking our bond. If it were to ever mend, I had to know he wasn't lying about this.

As I stood up, he was very close. Barely any distance between us. I could feel his warmth against me, despite that his body wasn't pressed against mine. He stared down at me, sad, but also lovingly, as he brought his free hand up, brushing my hair behind my ear, eyes scrunching up slightly.

"You will feel it," he whispered, "The proposal... It will be overwhelming. You'll feel all my feelings coming at you."

"How do you know?"

"We learned about it in school..."

He brought a hand to my waist, the other hand cupping my cheek as his face came closer. His breath warm against my mouth. "I really like you, Olivia. And if you'll accept me, I would like to spend the rest of my life falling deeper and harder for you. If you want that, all you have to do is kiss me, back, okay? But if you can't forgive me... just push me away and we can let our feelings disappear. And you can finally be free from me."

I nodded slightly, not quite sure if I was ready for this if it was true. Not sure if I would even be ready to make a lifelong commitment to a guy who had already caused so much confusion and heartache for me. But I needed concrete proof to believe him if I was to ever forgive him.

Ever so slowly, he lowered his face closer to mine, until his lips finally pressed against my mouth. Warm, moist, mild pressure, moving in a slow dance against my lips. And with the physical sensation, all at once a wall of emotional ones came through. Ben's feelings, his sadness, hurt, guilt, and torment mixed equally with his adoration, love, and warmth for me, coursing its way through my body.

I was used to the butterflies, the goosebumps, the blushing that came with a kiss. But the magnitude of his feelings for me that he had kept repressed so far went deeper than I had ever seen or understood. There was no confusion in that moment as Ben moved his lips over mine that he absolutely adored me in every way. He just didn't know how to say or show it.

And as I began to realise his feelings, that lasso that had tied me to him began to glow once more, begging me to react to make a decision about whether I accepted his feelings or wanted to push him away. As my pull opened up to him, my zaps subsided, causing his feelings to lean more into me, begging me to want him back. Begging me to trust his feelings.

I knew it was silly. I knew it was too soon. We barely knew each other, and to make a commitment that had no way out unless through death was ridiculous. But in the moment, as a lonely broken girl eager to continue to feel this level of adoration for longer, and consumed by his emotions caressing my heart, his hand on my face, his lips on my mouth, I couldn't help but melt into his touch and forgive him.

So I kissed him back, my lips finally moving with his. The bond burned brilliant, bright, and fiery within me, tying a knot between our two hearts only to be cut if one of them stopped. 

Suddenly all his negative emotions subsided, and the feelings I got from Ben now were only lust, desire, and love. He parted my lips with his, tongue caressing mine. My hands came up, knotting in his hair, pulling him closer. His hips pressed closer against me, hand on my face sliding down my back, pulling me closer to him. 

And while the exchange of our kiss and emotions was something I had so longed to do with him, I can't say it was largely different from kissing anyone for the first time, especially Ben who hadn't done this before. He was clumsy and awkward, sometimes a little too forceful. Sometimes a little too sloppy. But I could feel he needed me closer. I felt I needed him closer.

Yet as I was getting swept up in the kiss and emotions, it began to dawn on me once more where we were. And that realisation and embarrassment I had seemed to echo through the kiss to Ben as he then began to feel the same thing back. We broke apart in an instant, casting glances around us, stepping back ever so slightly under the judging eyes of those passing by. I could almost hear their thoughts of 'get a room'.

Ben buried his head into my neck, causing my stomach to flip at his sudden closeness. His mortification swept through our touch as he said, "Ahhh... I didn't expect my first kiss to be so public."

I giggled and wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. "At least we gave them a show."

He pulled back and gave me a goofy grin, resting his forehead on mine. "Now you get it?" he asked.

And of course I did. He could feel it. But I nodded anyway.

"That's why I couldn't kiss you during truth or dare and was careful... It's a big commitment I know and..."

I kissed him to silence him, which just made him smile. "Shut up," I said. "You'll ruin it."

"Okay," he whispered, pressing his lips gently against mine again.

"So we are now stuck with each other for the rest of our lives?" I asked.

"I mean... Bonded forever, yes. But it doesn't mean you can't ever have feelings for anyone else. They will just never compare and it will never be what you truly want."

The idea that my feelings wouldn't ever be fully controlled by me again didn't sit well with me as he told me, but I quickly shoved it aside, nodding slowly. "Meaning you will be stuck kissing only one girl for the rest of your life..."

"Sounds great to me." The corners of his mouth turned upward, redness spreading across his face once more. "I really liked kissing you."

"At least I played the field a bit already."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Hey."

"Deal with it."

He wrapped his arms tightly around me, resting his head on top of mine as he hugged me. "I'm satisfied with just having you my whole life."

I melted into his warmth for a while as the sun in the sky disappeared behind the buildings and the cold of the night finally found its way through my jacket.

"Hungry?" he asked me after some moments passed.

"How did you know?"

"I could feel it."

"So is that a thing now? Knowing what each other feels?"

"Only when we touch."

"That could be annoying..." I pulled away from him, keeping his hand in mine only as we began to walk back through the park.

"Good way to clear up miscommunications. And, um..." Ben avoided my eyes this time. "I hear it can make intimate moments pretty interesting too."

Intimate moments... as in... because you can feel everything they feel... meaning when they... My eyes narrowed at him as a sly smile spread across my face. "Oh that will be fun."

He lightly tapped my forehead with his palm, as though he could hit the thoughts out of my head. "Naughty Olivia. Get your mind out of the gutter." Though I could feel the same level of lust radiating through our hands at each other.

I shrugged. "Don't take it there."

· · ───── ∘☽༓☾∘ ───── · ·

Ben wanted to take me to dinner to celebrate our bond, but I still wanted to go home. So we compromised and got takeaway from a nearby kebab shop. I got a halloumi doner and he got a meat platter minus many of the sauces and vegetables.

We sat on the floor of my apartment, eating our food and, to Ben's dismay, watching Twilight.

"I hope you know this movie is terrible," he complained.

"Deal with it. You interrupted my evening and I wanted to relive my angsty days as a thirteen-year-old," I retorted, taking the final bite of my dinner.

"Who wants to relive being thirteen?"

"Must suck when it lasts for five years."

I paused the movie and got up.

"Where are you going?"

"To put some comfier clothes on. These jeans are too tight."

Ben cleared his throat and looked away. I grabbed my leggings and slipped into the bathroom, quickly getting changed and rinsing my mouth with mouthwash before I headed back out. But my face fell as my eyes landed on Ben, who had my research book open in his lap.

"What did I say about looking at that?" I demanded.

But he looked up at me, giving me a sympathetic smile as he tilted his head to the side. "This is what you were hiding?" He held open my yes and no list. "To think the air would have been cleared if I had just seen it then." He shook his head and grabbed a pen off my bedside table, writing something on it.

I came over to him, sitting on the bed next to his head, looking at what he was doing. He had drawn a line through the no column and circled yes, and wrote in the side 'Ben is crazy about Olivia and definitely likes her'.

"Your handwriting is so old school," I giggled.

"They taught proper penmanship when I started school."

I smirked, and patted my bed, inviting him to come up. He joined me on the bed, picking my blanket from the end and draping it over me as he grabbed my hand in his. Kindness and warmth radiated through his touch to me. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he tensed, a myriad of nervousness going through him.

"This is when you rest your head on mine," I whispered.

And suddenly his tension eased as his head pressed on top of mine. "It really helps that you know how I feel now."

"Mhmm."

"Now did you want to finish the rest of that terrible movie?"

I pulled back, causing him to pout. But I nodded and smiled. I was enjoying seeing him hating it more than watching it for the nostalgia.

He got off the bed, picking up my laptop, and I reshuffled on my bed so that we could stretch our legs out. When Ben joined me on the bed, I grabbed his arm, lifted it up, and snuggled into him. And I could feel his emotions rejoice at my touch.

I'm not going to get over knowing he feels all those intense feelings I do when he touches me...

He pressed his lips to my forehead as we continued to watch Bella and Edward's awkward relationship unfold on my laptop.

· · ───── ∘☽༓☾∘ ───── · ·

The light roused me from my sleep. Blinking a couple of times, I grabbed my phone to check the time. 6am. I looked around, trying to remember what happened. And then I sat up suddenly, looking around the room.

Ben wasn't here anymore. My laptop was sitting on my bedside table with a small post-it on it. I picked it up and read what he wrote in his cursive writing.

I didn't want to wake you when I left. You looked too peaceful. I hope that's okay. I will see you tomorrow Olivia.

Ps. I do like you.

Smiling, I pulled the blanket over my head, feeling a battle of giddiness and embarrassment. I had fallen asleep before the movie had ended.

I wonder how long he stayed..

I picked up my phone and then frowned. I never got his number again...

But then a text came through. Unlocking my phone, I saw it was from a contact named "the boy who likes you".

Rolling my eyes, I opened it up.

Ben: I hope you slept well. Let me know when you're awake.

Me: I've renamed you on my phone.

Ben: That was quicker than I expected (you waking up... put my name back!)

Ben: And good morning, beautiful.

Me: Did I snore?

Ben: Only a little. It was cute though.

Ben: Can I see you today?

Me: I have to work.

Ben: Can I pick you up from work?

Me: If you insist...

Ben: Oh, I do.