If there was something that made people more and more miserable day by day, it was loneliness. It always resulted in demons creating dark shadows inside you if you didn't dominate them.

Few were able to alter it into solitude, a metamorphosis that everyone wished they had the courage to achieve. If you were able to be at peace with yourself, to enjoy inner harmony, you were a master of yourself.

If you couldn't rule it, you became overwhelmed and eventually taken in, slowly swallowed up by the darkness. It was like a disease that was not contagious but still spewed its poison into every cell of your existence.

When I worked for a publishing house, I had the opportunity to see into the world of lonely people. Their books were always a reflection of themselves, like a mirror that showed them the truth, whether they liked it or not.

I didn't know why I quit, but I realized on a rainy day that even though I loved reading books, it wasn't my passion. I guessed that reading them wasn't the same as being a part of the process of bringing them to life.

My mother had worked in a similar department until she got pregnant with me. But I couldn't find her traces, even though I had desperately searched for them, hence the submission of my resignation letter.

Maybe it had been a bad decision from the beginning to pursue something that wasn't completely me, but that didn't matter anymore anyway. What mattered was that I had to find something as fast as possible, or I would soon go crazy.

I had already been living with the Jeons for a few weeks. Not that I was trying to say it was disastrous, but something was weighing on me that I couldn't yet put my finger on. Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was that I was spending most of my time alone.

Rai was constantly checking in on me in the form of text messages or phone calls, but it wasn't the same. I wasn't homesick or anything, but I still missed having normal conversations and walking around the house when I felt like it.

The Jeon mansion was my home now, and yet I felt like a stranger. It was quiet, too quiet. Mr. Jeon, Jungkook, and Yoongi were at work during the day, Dalrae was at school. The only ones filling the house were Mrs. Jeon and the maids.

I didn't know what life was like for the family before I became a part of it, but Mrs. Jeon appeared to ignore or avoid my presence because I never saw her around. I didn't have a job, but helping my father with his work had at least been something to occupy most of my hours.

Even at night I was alone some days. I had no idea where Jungkook had been when I found his bed perfectly made in the morning as it had been the night before, but I hadn't cared enough to ask.

Did he have a girlfriend he was spending the night with? A strong possibility. Was I mad about it or would I interrogate him? Never.

We were both okay with each living our own lives and just as I didn't have to explain to him what I was doing, it would be hypocrisy if I expected him to.

We only talked after dinner anyway, if he chose to sleep in the bedroom. I would nonetheless always leave the bed empty in case of his late return. I wouldn't claim anything and take advantage of the opportunity even if the sofa wasn't the coziest.

I let out a long sigh as I walked around the empty and quiet house. I was okay with not having friends, but it was moments like these where I regretted my decision not to engage in friendships. Rai was getting ready for his finals, so we had postponed our hangout for an indefinite date.

Walking past the conservatory, I noticed the various plants that Mrs. Jeon always took care of. It wasn't long until dinner, so I decided to take a look around.

The tiles were a little cold under my feet as I stepped over the threshold from the living room into the adjoining room. Mrs. Jeon had decorated it nicely with a sitting area by the fireplace. I could see out into the garden and the greenery of the plants added a utopian atmosphere to the otherwise bare interior.

I recognized the petticoat palm, two hibiscuses, jasmine flowers, and citrus plants. The rest I had never seen before, which is why I couldn't put a name on them, but they harmonized with each other. I approached the jasmine and let the heavenly smell awaken my senses.

"I know you're taken care of, but let me take the dried petals from you, yeah?" I murmured to the plant, even though I knew it didn't understand me.

I plucked the dried ones from the vibrant ones and gathered them in the palm of my hand. There weren't many, but the plant would thank me for this. I continued absentmindedly until I heard approaching footsteps.

"I don't like people touching my plants without permission." a voice I was all too familiar with followed.

I squeezed my palm shut and the dry petals crunched between my fingers as I glanced up at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade. I just saw some petals that needed to be removed."

She stepped closer, her hands clasped together in front of her body as usual. I was already used to her judgmental gaze, but at that moment something else seemed to shine in her dark eyes.

"Everyone has their space of privacy in this house and I don't like mine to be disrespected. You should know that."

I could understand this. After all, it was the right of every individual, no matter what age, to have their own space. However, Dalrae had not mentioned that the conservatory was a personal space of Mrs. Jeon's because I would not have entered it if that had been known.

It wasn't an excuse, but all I had done was just admire the plants because they deserved it. I didn't like being scolded, but it seemed like Mrs. Jeon was doing just that.

"I apologize again, Mrs. Jeon," I said, stepping away from the plant so that I was now standing in front of her. She had to tilt her head back a little so she could maintain eye contact. "I didn't know, hence the trespassing."

She raised her eyebrow. It wasn't my intention to imply anything covert, but I didn't care if she perceived it that way. She had accused Rai of the same.

"It's okay." she then changed her mind. "This is my hobby and I like taking care of them."

She came to stand next to me and looked at the jasmine flowers from all sides. I ignored the feeling of it as though she was examining it to make sure I hadn't harmed her plants.

"They're beautiful," I commented, watching her nod.

I didn't know what it was, but whenever I had an interaction with my mother-in-law, I felt uncomfortable. It was the pretended authoritarian and domineering aura she exuded that just didn't match mine. I felt as if we were like two polar opposites.

She cleared her throat, now casting her eyes sideways at me. "I realized you are still calling me Mrs. Jeon," she said then, an edge to her tone.

My eyebrows came together. "Do you want me to address you differently?"

"Well." she began, now turning back to me completely. "I'm your husband's mother. I suppose it's appropriate for you to call me mother, too."

I could not banish the surprise from my expression. This subject had never been brought up before and I found it funny that she phrased it as if I had no choice but to obey. I was never ordered around, not even by my father.

Perhaps I would have appreciated it and seen it as a way of getting closer and a permanent invitation into the family not just as a daughter-in-law but truly as a member, but it had only been a few weeks.

I knew Mrs. Jeon was a traditional woman and had probably been taught it that way in her family. I might have accepted the offer sometime in the future if I had seen the sincerity behind it and not the compulsion to impose the tradition further.

Too short a time for addressing a strange woman with such a sacred title. She had done nothing for me to accomplish this, let alone that I would ever address a woman in such a way.

I had not even had the opportunity to meet my own mother and Mrs. Jeon was aware of that. I thought it was quite insensitive to approach me with such an offer because I knew it was anything but well-intentioned. I saw it in her eyes.

"Respectfully, I must decline your offer, but thank you," I decided. "I can call you by your first name, Hayun, if you wish."

She looked affronted as her name left my lips as if wondering how I dared treat her so disrespectfully. But it was either that or nothing as far as I was concerned.

"Then it's Mrs. Jeon." she finished, raising her nose higher than it was.

I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, because everyone had things they were comfortable with. And calling her anything other than by her name was not something I could provide. It was up to her to decide if she wanted that or not.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, get ready and go get your husband." her cold shoulder didn't stir much in me, to be honest.

I shook my head with an irritated chuckle. Bending people to her liking was probably what she was used to so far and I didn't understand why she was mad that I had boundaries just like she did.

Ignoring this conversation and erasing it from my memory because I didn't want it to take up unnecessary space in my already full head, I went upstairs to the bedroom that Jungkook and I shared like roommates.

I hadn't heard that the others were back from work, but Jungkook pulled a shirt over his free torso as I entered the room. Casting my gaze in another direction, I made a beeline for the bathroom to wash my hands.

After I stepped out, I felt his eyes on me and how they burned into the back of my head. I was kind of irritated by the conversation with his mom, so I ended up shoving my setting powder in the drawer.

"I keep telling you." I heard him say, which caused me to turn to him in confusion.

"What?" I asked.

"Sleeping on the couch evokes a bad mood in you." he grinned. Of course, he had to get on my nerves right after his mother, too. And what better opportunity than this?

I grinned sweetly back, though my eyes shot lasers at him. "Do you hear the crickets? They're chirping."

It had now become a habit between us to be ironic and just plain stupid in our responses to such nonsense. Most of the time Jungkook would start teasing and annoying and then would just laugh when I reacted to it. It was upsetting, but that was how our relationship worked.

He tossed his head back and let his throat ripple with his laughter. Jungkook was made up of two moods. Either he was too grumpy to even talk, in which case he vastly avoided me, or he was this annoying something I couldn't find a name for yet.

Today he seemed to be in a good mood.

I rolled my eyes and checked my messages before we took the stairs down to the dining area together. Dinner, as usual, was not the highlight of the day as it was silent enough to hear everyone chewing and slurping.

Mrs. Jeon didn't glance my way as I noticed, but it wasn't the end of the world for me. She would soon accept that not everything went her way. I didn't do it to be difficult or to disqualify her from being a mother. But she was my husband's mother and it would stay that way.

The maids cleared the table after we had all finished eating and everyone had withdrawn back to their rooms. Jungkook's way parted to his office and I was once again alone.

Dalrae had shown me around the house the first day I arrived and I remembered the seating area that was situated on the rooftop terrace. She had said that no one went there, so I thought the fresh air would do me good.

The sun had already set and the crisp air of the early summer night was gnawing at my skin. The rooftop terrace spanned the entire building and offered seating and even an outdoor Jacuzzi that looked well-kept but unused.

I dropped into one of the pool loungers, which would be perfect for sunbathing in the summer. It was peaceful up here, the open sky above my head, and I made a mental note to be a frequent visitor to this place.

My life had changed drastically in the last few months and it was moments like this and the stillness that made me realize it. The moon was not showing today, but instead, I could make out small specks in the dark blanket as I stared upward.

I rested my head on my closed fist, which was propped against my knee as someone dropped into the pool lounger next to me right then. Turning to my left, I came into view with a blond man.

"Am I disturbing you?" Yoongi asked, not meeting my eyes.

I was surprised because I thought this place was pretty much forgotten. "Of course you're not. I didn't think anyone came here."

"No one but me," he answered, though I hadn't phrased it as a question. "And not unless I want to smoke."

Only now did I notice the pack of cigarettes in his hand. Once again, I had intruded on someone else's privacy. "Sorry, I'll go."

"No, stay. I'm the one who violated your peace," he reassured me as I had already gotten to my feet, ready to leave him and his nicotine to fend for themselves.

He didn't smile, but his welcoming eyes confirmed that he really didn't mind. And I couldn't lie and say that I hadn't missed a little company. Yoongi seemed like a quiet and adaptive man, but one who wouldn't shy away from voicing his opinion.

"Okay." I exhaled and sat back down.

He slipped the pack of cigarettes back into his pants pocket, calculating that I wasn't much of a smoker. I hated the smell, so I secretly treasured the fact that he hadn't lit one.

"I didn't peg your mom to be okay with you smoking," I casually commented, though I didn't want to be intrusive. It wasn't my business, after all.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her." I saw the slightest twitch of his lip. "I don't think she cares enough to say anything."

I studied his features and the way he used his words masked. I almost sensed sadness in his eyes, but he was looking out into the night, so I felt the flash of emotion just whiz past me.

"How so?" I wondered, not knowing if I was stepping over a line again.

"Don't mind me." he waved his hand off. He linked his palms, his arms remaining on his knees. "I'm kind of invisible, you know."

I chewed on my inner cheek, not knowing if I was supposed to add anything. I didn't know if he had intentionally initiated it, or if it was just a train of thought that had been bothering him for some time.

I didn't want to tell him that I had noticed their lack of interest in him. Whenever work was discussed at the dinner table or Mr. Jeon called someone into his room, it was Jungkook and never Yoongi. Maybe it was something they had agreed on among themselves, or maybe it was a hierarchy, a status in the family.

"If Jungkook smoked, they would be furious. So I'm glad they don't see me doing it." he chuckled. It seemed like a pretense for what lay beneath.

I hummed in thought. "Maybe we should get him hooked up just so we can watch him get in trouble." I shrugged, joking to lighten the heaviness of the issue.

"That's what I'm thinking," he agreed with a smirk. He had a gummy smile and no sounds escaped his mouth as he laughed. "My mom would raise hell, though."

I realized that for the first time in weeks, a laugh echoed in my throat and fell across my lips. It was quiet, but it was there nonetheless. Present with us.

I hesitated. "But everything is okay between you?" It was a question I was expected to ask my husband, not his brother, but then again Jungkook and I hadn't shared any normal conversations so far. I couldn't gauge how he would react if I asked him such a question.

"Of course, he's my brother." he nodded. "How our parents treat us doesn't change the fact that I would do anything for him."

That made me smile again. I hadn't thought of Yoongi as a protective brother just because he'd always been sort of passive up until now. Who was I to judge someone I didn't know?

"Jungkook is still in charge of most of the family matters." his right shoulder rose into a shrug and dropped. "Not that I care. I'm not interested in the firm."

So that was why Jungkook was always so busy in his office. I had no idea to what extent his father required him to cooperate, but guessing that he was the future heir to the company, I could only estimate how much lay on his shoulders.

Apart from that, his last words stirred up a question in my mind. "Is that why...you know," I began but pursed my mouth shut. He stared at me in expectation. "Never mind."

"Ah. You mean why did he marry you even though I'm the oldest son?" his question triggered a blush of embarrassment on my cheeks. I didn't want him to misunderstand me. "Yeah. That's why," he replied when I didn't confirm his statement. He chuckled as I stared out into the night. "Don't worry, I know you were just asking out of curiosity."

I nodded in appreciation. "If you're not interested in the company, what are you planning on doing?"

He side-eyed me and I almost felt bad. "Jungkook and I graduated from the same school. But... I guess I don't know what my passion is yet. Or if I'll ever be able to explore it, that is, if I have one."

"I'm sure you will," I encouraged. Yoongi seemed like a multi-talented man who hadn't yet found his capabilities or decided to keep them to himself.

"Yeah." he sighed. Then he turned his body a little in my direction as if he had finally found someone to share his thoughts with without being judged for it.

We sat in silence, but it felt nice.

"Have you gotten used to this place?" he asked after quite a few minutes.

I gave him a shrug. "Yes, I think so."

"Be honest. I'm probably the last person who would judge you for the way you feel."

I hauled my legs up onto the pool lounger and twisted them into a comfortable position. I felt like Yoongi was the only one in this house who shared the same feelings as me. And that was reinforcing.

"I'm trying to settle in and although it's taking time, I'm sure things will work out." I decided to say.

He studied my facial expressions for a moment, probably noticing that I was trying to make myself believe in what I was saying, but he didn't comment.

"I don't doubt it." he cracked a smile. The conversation was over and we could both feel it. That's why he jerked his thumb back at the door. "I'm going back inside. You coming?"

I shook my head. "I want to stay a little longer."

He climbed to his feet with a groan and shook out his legs, which must have fallen asleep from sitting so long.

Before he could disappear through the door, I called out to him. "Yoongi?"

I noticed how hard he found it to maintain eye contact as he looked over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

I rubbed my hands together. "Thank you."

He pressed his lips into a straight line and nodded once before I was left in the hush of the night.

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A/N: maybe we should leave jk and be with yoongles