My phone screen lit up again, casting a soft glow in the dark room. I didn't need to reach for it to know who was texting me. It was always him. The calls had stopped, replaced by these quiet, desperate messages. I never opened them—just read the previews that popped up in the notification center. It was a small way to protect myself, to pretend that I didn't care.

In the hours after everything fell apart, I thought about blocking his number more times than I could count. My anger had been fierce, burning through the sorrow. But now, 72 hours later, the anger had started to fade, leaving only a deep, aching loneliness. With a clearer head, I realized that blocking him wouldn't be fair. He was probably hurting just as much as I was. And as much as I wanted to erase him from my life to dull the pain, I knew I couldn't.

It hadn't been his fault, and that only made missing him hurt worse. Every time I thought of him, it brought back the sting of everything I'd found out a few days ago. The memories played over and over in my mind, each one more painful than the last. It still felt like a dream, a really bad one that I just couldn't wake up from. No matter how much I tried to shake it off, the weight of it pressed down on me, making it impossible to forget.

I lay in my hotel bed, staring at the ceiling as the minutes passed. The silence of the night only seemed to make everything inside me louder. It was the middle of the night, and even though my eyes burned with exhaustion, sleep just wouldn't come. I couldn't tell if the ache was from all the crying I'd done or just from sheer lack of rest. All I knew was that my heart hurt, and nothing seemed to ease the pain.

Jungkook didn't seem to get any sleep either. His messages were always just an hour apart, sometimes even less. Four in the morning, then five, five-thirty, and six—like clockwork, each one a reminder that neither of us could find peace. I couldn't think straight, not with the constant reminders of the atrocities his mother had inflicted on my family.

I had never gotten along with her, but I had always tried to look past it, chalking it up to the usual tension some women felt toward their daughters-in-law. But her hatred for me had run much deeper than I ever realized. I had been so blind, so unaware of the darkness that lurked behind her cold stares and biting words. She had even gone so far as to physically hurt me, pushing me down the stairs when I had foolishly believed I had just slipped.

There were so many questions still swirling in my head, questions I desperately wanted answers to but wasn't sure I could bear to hear. What more could shatter my heart into a million pieces when it was already broken into a thousand? Why had my dad never told me any of those things?

He loved talking about my mother, always finding some small reminder to bring up old memories. How could he have hidden such important truths from me? I hated the feeling of being fooled, of realizing that the people I trusted most had kept me in the dark. I had been betrayed before—by my ex-boyfriend, by friends I thought I could rely on. But this time, it was my own father. Sophia. My husband...

A lone tear slipped from my eye before I could wipe it away, rolling down the side of my face to join all the others that had soaked my pillow. I was never really a crier. I always dealt with my pain by walking away, shutting down, and moving on. That's what I'd done this time too, walking away thinking I could handle it on my own. But I still couldn't stop the tears from multiplying, couldn't stop the ache in my chest from growing stronger.

This hotel room felt colder and lonelier than ever before. It wasn't a bad room, in fact, it was quite the opposite. But lying in this big bed alone... it just wasn't the same. I was used to having a warm body pressed against mine through the night. Even when I had been afraid to let him sleep beside me, I had never regretted it. I just hadn't realized back then how much I'd get used to his scent, his warmth, the way he'd kiss me with that lazy smile when he opened his eyes.

I couldn't even remember how I ended up at this hotel. I just remembered telling the front desk clerk to give me a room and sliding my credit card toward him. Jungkook's credit card still weighed heavily in my purse, but using it felt wrong. It wasn't because I thought he'd track me down by checking the card's usage, he respected me enough not to do that.

When he first gave it to me, it had felt strange, and I hadn't used it until much later in our relationship. Back then, I thought he'd given it to me out of obligation, to annoy me, or maybe just out of spite. Maybe that was part of it, but as time went on, I realized he genuinely wanted to provide for me. He always brought me gifts, even if it was just a small flower from the side of the road. And now, even amid all this chaos, I knew he still wanted to care for me.

It was evident in all the messages he still sent. Even now, twenty minutes after the last one, as my phone lit up again, I knew it. I made the mistake of reaching for my phone from the nightstand, squinting at the bright screen in the darkness. Text message after text message filled my notification center. Some were so long that I couldn't read all of them, but my heart still pounded in my throat as it closed up.

Jungkook 1:24 am:
Are you asleep yet?
I just want to talk to you

Jungkook 1:56 am:
I miss you
Can't sleep without you

Jungkook 2:37 am:
I'm sorry Reva
If you would just let me explain things...

Jungkook 2:45 am:
It has been days and I'm worried
Are you reading my messages?
Because it doesn't say seen

It was mostly the same. Messages of how sorry he was, how much he missed me, filled my screen. I could almost picture him as I read them, the line between his eyebrows growing deeper, a dark shadow casting under his beautiful brown eyes. I chewed on my bottom lip, hesitating for a moment before continuing to read on.

Jungkook 3:02 am:
I talked to your dad
You didn't answer him either
I'm really worried for your safety Reva
I'm considering going to the police

Jungkook 4:51 am:
Just let me know if you're safe
That's all I want to know
Don't do this to me
I can't handle it I'm going crazy

It had been more than three days, and I felt a pang of guilt for him. I would have been worried if the tables were turned. So, in the quiet of this lonely hour, I did something I hadn't expected to do so soon: I texted him back.

Me 5:06 am:
I'm safe

─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────

A month later, I finally managed to leave the depressing hotel room for the first time in weeks. I had spent days avoiding interaction, staying away from social settings, and shunning the sight of happy people on the street, even though they had nothing to do with my life falling apart. Rai had taken a weekend off from his stressful exam phase and driven all the way just to see me and be by my side.

He had called me after either my dad or Dalrae had filled him in on the situation—or maybe just part of it—and expressed his support. He couldn't come right away due to assignments and deadlines, but I knew he was with me through our phone calls and messages. His support had been a lifeline, even if it was through a screen.

We had arranged to meet the night before, and so I was on my way to a café by the Hudson River that Rai and I had discovered years ago. It had become one of our favorite spots, cherished for its stunning view. The late winter sun warmed my skin as I waited for him in the parking lot.

A few minutes later, his massive black car pulled into the parking space opposite me. From where I sat, I could see his broad smile through the front window, genuine and familiar. As soon as I stepped out of my car, Rai jogged over to me and enveloped me in a bear hug so tight it almost knocked the breath out of me. I missed him and his comforting warmth more than I'd realized and I almost burst out in tears.

"I missed you, Rev," Rai murmured into my hair, placing a soft kiss there. Even though I was eight years older than him, at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to lean on his strength as if he were my big brother.

"I missed you too," I replied, my smile not quite reaching my eyes but it was genuine. It was the first real smile I had managed in weeks. Rai squeezed my hand reassuringly and nodded toward the café.

"Should we get inside?" he asked. I nodded, and together we walked through the front door. The comforting aroma of coffee and freshly baked pastries greeted us.

We settled at an empty table by the window, a light breeze drifting in through the back door that led to the patio. The café buzzed with the chatter and laughter of its patrons, but it wasn't crowded enough to make me uncomfortable. It felt oddly peaceful, an escape from the world that had felt like it had stopped for me.

Rai and I had ordered cappuccinos and croissants filled with pistachio cream, and he glanced at me with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. I could tell he was unsure of how to approach me, whether to act as if nothing had happened or to dive straight into the heart of what had been troubling me. After a moment of hesitation, he finally broke the silence.

"How have you been?" he asked, his voice laced with a cringing uncertainty.

I offered him a small smile, trying to reassure him. "You're the only person I feel comfortable talking to right now," I said softly. It was the truth. "And I have been... better, I guess."

Rai nodded slowly as I filled him in on everything that had happened. Speaking it all out loud felt different, it was like confronting the emotions head-on. I could feel the tears threatening, but I pushed them back. I didn't want our time together to turn gloomy, especially on a sunny day like this.

"This is all still so crazy to me," Rai said once I finished. "You were always a big sister to me, and even though I cared for Sophia too, our relationship was different from yours with her. You only had her and Uncle Riku. And what she did to you..."

His voice trailed off, replaced by a flash of anger in his eyes. He shook his head, unable to finish. Rai was protective of me as I was protective of him and now that he was older, now that he was becoming a man, I knew he felt a different kind of protectiveness. He laid a hand on mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm always here for you, you know that, right? Even if it takes me hours to drive, just one call and I'm on my way."

His words made my heart swell. I squeezed his hand in return and let out a soft laugh. "Look at you, playing the big brother role now that you're turning 21 next year." Rai smiled proudly at my joke.

"I'm happy to see you smile," Rai said, and I gave a casual shrug. Then he raised a finger as if preparing to lecture me. "Also, I've been hitting the gym a lot lately. So don't blame me for wanting to put these muscles to use."

I burst out laughing. It was true, he had bulked up in the last few months, and with his tall frame, the new muscles suited him perfectly. He looked like he could easily break some hearts on campus. I felt proud of the man he was becoming.

We enjoyed our croissants and chatted about lighter topics. It was a welcome distraction, and I was grateful I'd managed to leave the hotel and spend time with him. Just as Rai was in the middle of a funny story about one of his professors, he suddenly stopped. His eyes shifted to somewhere over my shoulder, and his expression grew concerned.

"Why is he here?" Rai murmured, more to himself than to me, but I caught his meaning immediately. Before Rai could stop me, I glanced over my shoulder. There he was, walking through the front door, his gaze already locked on us. I felt my heart race as his brown eyes softened when they met mine.

How did he know we were here? Why was he here? His steps were hesitant but purposeful as he approached. Dressed casually, he looked worn out, the shadows under his eyes dark and merciless. Even from a distance, I could sense the weight he carried.

Seeing Jungkook today caught me completely off guard. I didn't know how to react, and when I turned back to Rai, my head spun slightly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him stop just beside our table, though I had felt his presence even before then. He always had that effect on me even after weeks apart.

"Hello, Rai," he greeted my cousin, his voice polite but tinged with hesitation. Rai's glare was sharp, but he managed a neutral reply. Jungkook's gaze then shifted to me. "Hello," he said softly, and when I looked up at him, I immediately regretted it.

The longing and unspoken emotions in his eyes were so intense that it was almost painful to meet his gaze. I couldn't bring myself to respond.

He stood there, looking like he had prepared a speech, only to have it vanish in the moment. Perhaps it was my stare that threw him off. I saw him swallow hard, then clear his throat.

"I'm sorry for showing up unannounced, but... could we talk for a few minutes?" He glanced at Rai and then back at me. "Maybe outside, if you're comfortable with that?"

I bit my lip, feeling a rush of anxiety. What could he possibly say now? I knew he was here to apologize. But hearing him say it in person, face-to-face, made it all feel so much more real. I wasn't sure how to respond, the uncertainty knotting in my chest.

Rai's hand tightened around mine on the table. "You don't have to if you don't want to," he said firmly. I could feel the tension in his grip and knew he was ready to scare Jungkook off if needed. All it would take was one word from me, and he would be gone.

I took a deep breath, preparing to refuse Jungkook. But before I could speak, Jungkook felt the rejection coming his way and dropped to his knees in the middle of the café, completely disregarding the dirt on the floor, now at eye level with me

"Please, Reva. All I'm asking for is five minutes," he pleaded, his gaze locked onto mine.

"Jungkook, what are you doing? Get up!" I scolded, feeling the eyes of some patrons burning into us. The scene was becoming something I knew would probably end up on scandal websites by tomorrow.

But Jungkook ignored my command and asked quietly, "Will you talk to me?"

I covered half of my face with my hand, feeling a wave of frustration and helplessness. "Just get up! Everyone is looking at us."

"I don't care about them," Jungkook countered, and it felt like he was about to add, I only care about you, but instead, he said something else. "I'll embarrass myself if it means you'll talk to me. Please."

The whispered please and the sorrowful look on his face made my heart ache even more. He looked so desperate and hopeless, yet he was still trying. I sighed, releasing the breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

Ignoring Rai's readiness to fight, I stood up from my seat and told him I'd be back in a few minutes. Jungkook looked surprised but relieved as he followed me outside onto the patio. I leaned against the railing, feeling the cool breeze against my skin, and was grateful that only a young couple sat at a distant table, unable to eavesdrop.

Jungkook stood next to me, and though I could feel his gaze burning into the side of my face, I kept my eyes on the skyscrapers across the river.

"Thank you for allowing me this," he said at last, his voice barely above a whisper.

I sighed and turned to him. "Make it quick. You only asked for a few minutes."

A fleeting sadness crossed his face, and though it pained me to be so cold, I needed to protect myself. He recovered rather quickly.

"I came here to apologize—"

"Like you did over the countless text messages?" I cut him off, my voice sharp.

His eyes widened in surprise. "You've been reading them all?" he asked, clearly taken aback. After the first words I had texted him back, I had never again replied. Many texts had followed but always unanswered. The color in his cheeks deepened, hinting at the embarrassment he felt about some drunken texts as well.

I took a breath, trying to keep my emotions in check. "How did you know I'd be here today?"

"Dalrae told me," Jungkook answered. "Well, she let it slip by accident. Don't be mad at her. I think she was talking to Rai. She warned me not to come, threatened to carve out my eyes if I did, but... I just couldn't stay away. I needed to see you."

"I wish you had said something before coming here," I remarked, my voice trembling slightly. Jungkook nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor.

"I'm sorry. I wish I had said a lot of things when I didn't," he admitted, his eyes lifting to meet mine again. He fiddled with his wedding band and sighed deeply. "I wish I had been honest with you. I wish I had told you what I found out. I wish I had told you that I—"

He hesitated, taking a tentative step closer. Though he wasn't very near, the proximity made my heart race. I hated that he still had this effect on me.

"I wish I had told you that I love you, Reva."

His words were like a dagger to my heart.

"Don't," I whispered, my voice breaking. "Don't say it."

"But it's true," he countered desperately. "And it's the only truth I know."

"Why now, huh? Why tell me now, Jungkook?" My voice cracked, and I could feel the sob threatening to spill. I took a deep breath, but it did little to calm the storm inside me. I still felt like I was drowning.

"Because—because I'm a fucking coward, Reva," he admitted, his voice breaking as he said my name. He took another agonizing step toward me, closing the distance between us. "I know I've hurt you deeply, and I can't express how sorry I am. I've been in love with you for a long time, and you can't imagine how much I hate myself for not realizing it sooner. I don't know why I never said it because when I finally felt ready, it was already too late. You slipped through my fingers, and I had to watch you leave."

When a tear finally managed to escape and roll down my cheek, despite my best efforts to keep it hidden, I saw Jungkook's hand rise as if to wipe it away. But he hesitated, pulling back before he could touch me.

"You knew how much honesty means to me," I said, my voice trembling. "After everything I've been through—all the backstabbing—you knew I hated secrets the most."

"I know. Fuck, I know," he replied, shaking his head and running a hand down his face in frustration. We both took a few moments to calm down, the emotions threatening to spill over and drown us both. I glanced around, relieved that no one was paying us any attention.

Jungkook let out a deep sigh, and I braced myself for whatever he was about to say next. "I know this isn't about me, and I'm sure you don't want to hear any excuses, but I did it to protect you. I was helpless, Reva. I was disgusted by what she had done. I was so so angry. The reason I wanted to send her away wasn't because I was trying to cover up what she did."

"Then what?" I asked, even though deep down, I already knew the answer.

"I didn't want her near you," he confessed, his voice thick with emotion. "I never told you, but I was looking for an apartment, wanted to ask if you wanted to move out with me. I thought sending her away would allow me to protect you while I figured things out. While I figured out how to tell you that my own mother is responsible for your family falling apart."

Knowing everything and hearing it come from his mouth were two entirely different experiences. He had told me right before I left that he wasn't protecting his mother, that he wanted to tell me. At the time, I hadn't wanted to hear any of it. Words could deceive so easily. But now, hearing the honesty in his voice, I realized that sometimes, no matter how much we tried, things just didn't go the way we wanted. And sometimes, all it took was a few seconds for everything to spiral out of control.

"That's why I took you on that trip," Jungkook continued, his voice steady but tinged with regret. "Your father had the right to know it all too. I planned to talk to him first thing when we got back. And then we would have spoken to you. I swear it."

I wrapped my arms around my middle, trying to shield myself from the cold that seemed to seep in despite the warm sun shining down on us. "I don't know what to say," I admitted, feeling more lost than ever.

"Tell me what you need," Jungkook pleaded, his eyes searching mine. "I promise I will give my everything."

"I need—" I started, but the words caught in my throat.

What did I need? I didn't even know myself. The confusion, the hurt, the longing...

"I need space."

Jungkook stared at me, processing my words. After a moment, he took a step back, as if physically acknowledging the space I needed. It was almost comical, and if I weren't so exhausted by everything, I might've laughed. At another time, I would have teased him, calling him stupid or cute for the way he was still so earnest, so genuine, even now.

"I need space," I repeated, my voice firmer this time. "And I need time, Jungkook. The wounds are still fresh. I haven't even talked to my father yet. I just... I need time for myself."

He nodded. "I'll give you all the time you want, Reva. Just please... give me another chance. Give us another chance. I promise I won't fail you this time."

I shook my head slowly, feeling the weight of what I was about to ask of him. "I only want one promise from you."

"Of course," he replied immediately, his eyes bright with hope, waiting for my request.

"Promise to respect my decision. Whatever it is."

Whatever it is. The words hung between us like an echo that wouldn't fade. It was the one thing I needed from him, a commitment to honor whatever choice I made. I didn't know how things would end up between us, but I needed Jungkook to be prepared for any outcome.

His expression softened, a sad look overcoming his eyes and after a long moment, he nodded. "I promise," he said, his voice quiet. As if he didn't want to make that promise.

For a moment, we just stood there, the world around us continuing on as if nothing had changed. But everything had changed. So I forced myself to take the steps back inside, leaving Jungkook on the patio.

Rai was waiting for me and when he asked if I wanted to talk about it, I just shook my head with a smile that was so fake that everyone would see through.

_________________

A/N: I'm back with another update. Still trying to figure out a schedule that works with my working schedule lmao. Also the weather has been a menace and I'm surprised I haven't melted like butter🥲 hope you enjoyed this chapter after everything that has happened in the last one!! Love u 💗