Hi. On a whim, I made a new one shot book  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's just going to be a bunch of shorts and drabbles so, if you're into that, hi! I hope you stick around! If you're not then I'm sorry, maybe try and read some of my other, longer stories such as Fusion or In Too Deep :)

Might as well throw you right into it with some major KLANGST. Trigger warnings are suicide and depression... have fun.

"Lance, I just don't understand why you-" Keith muttered, standing up and folding his arms. Lance's eyebrows furrowed and he turned his head to check how genuine Keith was being. Upon seeing his serious expression, Lance stumbled back.

"Keith-" Lance started but was immediately cut off.

"You're doing it again! You just talk and talk and you never listen to me. Just the other day, I was trying to tell you about what Kolivan said but you-"

"You looked sad... I just wanted to help-"

"I don't matter! We're fighting an intergalactic war so my feelings don't mean shit! What really matters are all those families being held captive by the Galra. If it wasn't for you-" Keith cut himself off to inhale deeply, the breath sounding shaky as if he was on the verge of crying. When he next spoke, he sounded unusually calm. It sent a shiver running through Lance's body and triggered the collection of desperate tears in his eyes. "If it wasn't for you, we would have saved them all."

"I'm sorry." Lance hung his head, tears finally dripping down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I messed up. Again. I get it. I'm the dumb paladin, the useless one, the- the seventh wheel. You don't need to remind me." With that, Lance barged passed Keith to the door of the room before racing down the hall. His vision was still blurry from the endless tears cascading down his cheeks and he didn't know where he was heading but his legs were functioning all on their own.

Eventually, he ended up slamming his own bedroom door behind him, so loudly that the Castle seemed to shake. He let out a loud sob before scrambling over to his bed and collapsing onto the covers. He buried his head into his pillow, letting his tears drench the material as he continued to tremble and cry.

Keith was right. Keith was right. Keith was right. He was a burden. He put lives at risk. It was his fault. He was the reason they lost. Why was he so dumb? Why couldn't he do anything? Why did he bother to try at all when he inevitably made mistakes every time? He was useless. A third wheel. A liability. He didn't deserve his position as paladin of the blue lion.

-

Lance didn't leave his room much for the few days after that, except when he needed to sneak into the kitchen to grab a snack or do other necessary things. Keith hadn't bothered coming to speak to him so Lance didn't put any effort in either, instead choosing to camp under his covers and let his thoughts do endless laps around his head like some sort of messed up marathon. 

One night, Lance had had enough of feeling sorry for himself and hiding out in his room. He checked the Altean clock hanging above his bed and, noting the hands pointing at the twelve and two, he decided it was safe to venture out with the hope that everyone aboard the ship was asleep. He wasn't sure where he was heading but let his legs do their thing. He was lost in his own world when he finally stopped, heart beginning to pound like a drum inside his chest. The sound seemed to ring through the air so Lance had to repress his instinct to cover his ears.

His eyes flickered to the red panel on the wall where a button was flashing, almost like it was calling for him. He took a tentative step forward before letting his hand hover over the button. What he was doing didn't kick in until his hand was just millimeters away from touching it. The airlock. All he needed to do was press the button and he'd be shot out into space and killed within seconds.

He didn't want to die. All he wanted was to get those stupid thoughts to stop. They were so loud that they stopped him from sleeping and meant he couldn't concentrate on anything when he was locked in his room. Lance was used to having a short attention span but the thoughts cranked his inattention up to a million. He hated it so much. He wanted it to stop.

You're a burden. You're a third wheel. You don't belong with Voltron. You deserve to die. You're the reason all the Galran prisoners didn't make it. If you hadn't distracted Keith, you'd have gotten there sooner. It's all your fault. You're a screw up. You're not smart like Pidge. You can't lead a team like Shiro. You're not nice like Hunk. You're not as passionate about winning the war like Allura. You're not as funny as Coran. You're not as focused as Keith. You're useless. You can't do anything right. You deserve to die.

You deserve to die.

You deserve to die.

You deserve to die.

"LANCE!" Lance didn't dare turn around when the person- Keith (he could tell from his distinct voice)- spoke, scared he'd break down again. His body stiffened so much that he could have been mistaken for a piece of rock. His hand froze mid air, almost skimming the button as death literally was within arm's reach. "Step away from the button." Keith was keeping his voice a whisper, voice trembling with fear, though he had no idea how terrified Lance was feeling. "Lance, please. You don't want to do this. You're just upset-"

"I'm not just upset. I'm worthless, I- I- I can't-"

"Lance, it's going to be okay. You aren't worthless. You're just as worthy as all of us here, alright? Just- Just don't do this. You can't. Think of your family and all those people you've saved..."

"No, no, I get it..." Lance's voice was shaking much more than Keith's because he had finally hit the last straw. He couldn't fight. He couldn't fly Blue. He couldn't do anything anymore.

"Lance, listen to me. You're going to be okay. I promise."

"You're shit at promises."

Keith's mouth dropped open as if he was about to say something but snapped shut again within seconds; Lance didn't see. He just took his silence as an acceptance of his atrocity at keeping promises. He was about as trustworthy as a lemon (amazing metaphor, I know. I thought what isn't trustworthy? A lemon. It looks so innocent then you drink lemon juice and nO no longer innocent). Lance brought his hand back and clenched it into a fist to slam it back on the button. Time slowed so seconds felt like days as Keith raced forward and tackled Lance to the ground, just before he could press the button.

Both were breathing heavily, Keith hovering over Lance who was making an effort not to initiate eye contact. "Lance, you don't want to leave all of us and your family behind, do you? Think about it, please."

"I- I need to, Keith. You wouldn't understand."

"Then let me understand. I'm sorry I shouted at you the other day. It was just my fucked up way of trying to cope with the grief of losing the-"

"Don't remind me." Lance snapped, using all of his might to shove Keith off him. When he succeeded, he pulled himself up and dusted his trousers down. Keith couldn't help but notice his eyes divert to the button that seemed to be sitting on the wall in the most ironically innocent way. "It was my fault. You were right."

"No, I wasn't. What I said was out of hand and I know it now, alright? I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't."

"You were right." With how much Lance repeated the same line, it gave Keith an idea of how much it was doing circles in his head.

"I wasn't."

"Yeah... yeah, you were."

When Lance's arm suddenly jerked in the direction of the button again, Keith was quick to grab his wrist and stop him. "Don't even think about it. I'm taking you to Coran."

"Keith, please don't tell him. No one needs to know I-"

"Yes, they need you to know. If you feel... worthless," Keith spat the word out so his views on Lance's thought were clearer than the sun on a cloudless summer's day. "I will make sure they all remind you that you're not." Keith began dragging Lance down the corridor whilst he struggled to get out of Keith's gloved grip. About half way towards Coran's room, Lance gave up and let himself go limp. "We all love you, even if I'm too stubborn to admit it most of the time. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd be just fine. Allura could pilot Blue and-"

"Voltron doesn't matter. Blue loves you and not Allura. We're happy the way we are. With you."

Lance's wide eyes dropped to look at the floor as his face paled. "But..." He started but pursed his lips when he was unsure of a valid argument to finish the line.

"You're amazing, Lance." Keith knew Lance would have made a comment if he was feeling good; something about Keith being replaced by an alien because he was actually complimenting him instead of fueling their rivalry. Of course, Lance wasn't feeling good so he stayed completely silent. Keith shoved open the door to Coran's room, smiling softly at Coran who was sat on his bed with a book in his lap.

"Are you alright?" He asked, gaze flickering between the pair. He drank in Lance's tear-stained face and Keith's deeper-than-usual frown and it was easy to conclude that no, they weren't alright. "What has happened?"

Keith turned to Lance and raised an eyebrow as if to say, "If you don't talk then I will." Lance must have understood because his mouth fell open and he mumbled, "I tried to throw myself out of the airlock."

Coran expertly hid the shock on his face. He tapped the space on the bed beside him and stayed silent until Lance was sat down beside him. "Why?"

Once Lance started to speak and all the thoughts came tumbling out of his mouth, no one could have stopped the flow. Sometime throughout the duration of him speaking, tears had silently began to track down his cheeks and Coran didn't say anything, just reaching out to wipe them away with the smooth pad of his thumb. By the end of the conversation, Coran had pulled Lance into a fatherly hug and just let him cry into his chest without any fear of judgement. "You're special, Lance. No blue paladin can ever be like you. That's why you're important. Your bond with Blue is stronger than any of the others. You're the rock of the team too- how would Keith keep a level head without you? How would Hunk get through his panic attacks so easily? How would Shiro relax? How would Allura laugh? How would Pidge sleep? You're needed, just like everyone else in this team."

"Yeah," Keith agreed from where he had been leaning in the doorway the entire time. "That's what I was trying to say earlier but we both know I'm not good with words."

Lance smiled ever so slightly but still didn't look up from his lap. "Thank you..."

Coran slapped a hand onto Lance's back, letting a wide grin spread across his own face. "You can always talk to us. About anything. If you're homesick or just feeling down for no reason at all, we're here for you. We all want you to be happy."

Lance glanced up and diverted his gaze between both Coran and Keith, a wider smile tugging at his lips until it very nearly reached his eyes. "Thank you." He repeated but they could all tell he meant it so much more that time.