Tw: loss, suicide, etc. This is to clear my head so please no hate comments. Thanks

Keith was an absolute mess.

Lance had died in battle. Granted, the war was now over, but that didn't change Keith's broken heart, oozing to the surface in rib-racking sobs and bloody sheets.

He couldn't calm down. He was anxious and depressed and he could only whimper and cry and think dark thoughts.

Shiro was with him now, in Keith's room in the Castle of Lions. Keith was shaking, crying into his mattress as he got his ankles tangled in the sheets, laying on his arms. Shiro laid next to him, holding him close to make sure he didn't do anything rash. A couple days before, Keith had destroyed almost everything in the room in a fitting rage, and he'd hurt himself afterwards too. It scared the team, but Keith didn't want anyone but Shiro around.

Lance was gone. Keith would never hear his laugh again, or his stupid jokes that he never appreciated enough. Keith could never tell him goodbye. He could never touch him again, never see him, never walk away knowing at least Lance is okay, because he isn't. He's dead.

Keith clutched his chest. He had heard that heartbreak could cause physical heart problems, but he never believed it until now. His chest ached like never before. Like he was stabbed, and he couldn't breathe. This wasn't worth it. He'd rather join his love then have to go through this--who wouldn't?

"Keith," Shiro spoke, pulling Keith from those thoughts. Keith let out a breathtaking sob into his white, silky pillow.

Shiro rubbed his back, "It will be all right."

Shiro knew what it was like. He lost Adam. But he kept fighting. He had no doubt in his mind that Keith would keep fighting too. It was just hard, and he needed time, forgiveness. It'll be all right--he truly believed that.

"No!" Keith whined, "I want Lance back, I want him back!"

"I know," Shiro soothed, "I know."

Keith cried, eventually biting his palm to try to quiet himself. He'd never felt so weak. So ashamed. So anxious. He couldn't sleep, wouldn't eat, everyone stared at him with pity, but it only got worse. Would he ever feel okay again?

"Shiro..." Keith whispered, almost out of desperateness.

"I'm here," Shiro assured. "What do you need?"

LANCE, I NEED LANCE! Keith screamed in his head. He seemed to think that a lot.

"I... Fuck..." He sobbed so hard. It wasn't as hard as when Keith first lost Lance--that was just horrid screams, he actually had to get his jaw checked out afterwards.

"I... I don't want to feel anything anymore. How come I'm not in shock?" he complained, half-meaning it.

"Because you're strong," Shiro assured.

Keith didn't believe it.

The rest of the night went the same. Helplessness, complaints, memories racking his mind and he couldn't think. It was just awful.

By the next morning, Keith woke up from his first few hours of sleep since he'd gotten the news. He didn't start crying, he just laid there. He found himself without motivation. Without energy. Almost without will, and hope. He found himself nearly lifeless. He wished that were the case.

Shiro laid next to him, watching him wake. "Hey."

Keith swallowed, not replying as if he didn't hear him. How was Keith to reply now? It was as if his mind was so troubled, he couldn't or didn't want to communicate anymore--he was pretty sure that was the case, and frankly, the only reason why he cared was because he didn't want to hurt Shiro.

When Keith pictured moments like this in his head, long before meeting Lance, he thought he'd be the type to go into a blind rage, become a serial killer, that kind of thing. But no. This was just sadness.

"Keith?" Shiro tried again. "Do you want to try to take a shower? I'll help you."

Of course Shiro wouldn't take advantage of the situation. He just wanted to help. His heart wrenched, seeing the man he loved like this, but it was no time to act on his feelings. He needed to be here for Keith--not the other way around.

Keith shook his head slightly, "No..."

He felt a bit dizzy. Faint. His head was clouding up, he couldn't decipher all the thoughts in his head. He wanted Lance. Lance always calmed him down. Made him feel better.

Where was Lance?!