Tw: self harm
Note: this is from an old book i unpublished (Titled "push up your sleeve"). Might post the next chapter from it next, but that's all i ever wrote. Thanks

Lance couldn't do it. No one even bothered to notice how bad he is feeling, and he doesn't even hide it anymore. At this point, he has so little motivation he doesn't even know if he wants to kill himself.

That's a stupid thing to say. Of course he doesn't want to die. He just wants to... leave. He has hope, but he's so addicted to hurting at this point that it doesn't even matter.

Lance sighed as he dropped his phone against the bed he was relaxing on. He was going to call the suicide hotline, but honestly just didn't have the energy to try and explain how it feels. Talking sucks.

Lance's attention changed to his hip. Some cuts were still fresh from last night, but he wasn't feeling good. He fumbled around the miscellaneous items on his nightstand. Once he found some scissors, he sat his back against the wall behind the head of his bed, and pulled down his pants. He examined his hip. Even though he feels ashamed of his cuts, he still wants scars, within time--sometimes he wonders if pain is all he's made to receive, so he inflicts it upon himself like that. So he looked for a spot that wasn't already cut, not liking to cross old-ish wounds.

He sighed again as he opened the scissors, and dug the tip in a nice line down his flesh right under the other cuts. He did it a few times over the same area, realizing how dull the scissors have gotten. It irritates the skin, but the activity does its job.

Suddenly, the dormroom door flies open, and Lance's excited boyfriend (and dormmate) walks inside. He has his phone up, but his face falls when he sees Lance. Lance hadn't even known he was crying until he started crying harder upon Keith's entrance.

Keith's mouth hangs open, but he slowly walks towards Lance's bed. He sits on the edge, and as Lance avoids all eye contact, Keith pulls him into a hug. Sure thing, Keith plans to give Lance an earful after this, but for right now he shushes the crying boy, holding him in his arms.

"It'll be okay," he assures him, not knowing why Lance would do such a thing. "Everything is gonna be all right."

He said he wouldn't hurt himself, his wrists were clean... Keith thinks. He was so, so blind.