Ok this is going to be depressing and sort of long but ok. Also if the people who I'm talking about both find this and figure out this is about them, I'm upset. Just do better.

Intro
I am a huuuuugggge theatre kid. I am always taking part in a show, or will be soon. I go to a theatre outside of school. I perform dances during PE. I don't shut up about the show I'm currently doing. I'm THAT kid.

When you spend 5 hours a week with a group of kids you tend to make these things called 'friends'(I don't really know what those are). After a couple shows, you have a couple constant friends, and at least one of them will be in any show you do. I have a core theatre friend group of about 8 people, but I'm usually in shows with 7 of the kids.

Ok, now for the story.

The Buildup

This whole situation was revealed to me during a secret santa we did, because it was all of us with nothing to do but talk and eat ice cream. I had a good period of time when I just sat alone, and only one person spoke a word to me. At that point I probably should've inserted myself into a conversation, but I don't roll like that with them. I had noticed this before, but this is the first time I realized I was kind of invisible, but I thought it was because I wasn't as chatty with them outside of theatre. I had kind of forgotten about this whole situation until a cast party approached...

The First Story
I was in a show that had waaaaayyyy too much drama for my taste. People being screamed at, people loosing friends, people getting concussions, people just being rude, it all went down. I had made a couple friends outside of the core group, and we all became pretty close backstage, seeing as we all suffered through act 1 quick changes(flashbacks).

You would think that by being friends with most of the cast would mean I would have someone to talk to at the cast party, right? Well you are very, very, very, very, very wrong.

Avengers(2012) was playing, but I didn't really want to watch the movie, and the pool was very cold that late and after being in the hot tub for a while, so I stayed in the hot tub and hung out with a couple of my friends. They ignored me, which was annoying, but they were having a conversation I didn't care about.

Legit 3 people came out in a row. I support my LGBT beans, I know how this sounds, but I didn't really have a place in the conversation. I could've barged in and been like "I'm ace but I'm not sure because I'm in freaking middle school and haven't fully matured!" Yeah, I didn't really trust all of the kids in the pool(one of them has shown themselves to be less than trustworthy.) 

The question is, why didn't I leave? I was going home with Katie, and she was having an actual conversation. I was stuck, frustrated, and really couldn't say anything without sounding like a jerk. Everyone else was either watching the movie or having private conversations, what was I supposed to do?

But this wasn't the last occurrence of people being stupid.

The Last Straw

So that party happened awhile back, one WHOLE MONTH AGO. Recently, my friend had a going away party, since she is leaving the state(don't want to mention the town if one of the kids finds this). I was partially left out by my own free will: I couldn't swim. I recently got my hair dyed and still don't have a swim cap. I don't want my hair to bleach itself out. Still, I stood in and near the pool, but after maybe half an hour of conversation and hilarity, I was left, sitting on a ledge by the pool, by myself. Maybe say a word or two to some friends, but mostly sitting there and brooding.

The thing that rubbed the salt into the wound is: THEY COULD CLEARLY SEE ME. Bitch I'm over here in your sight moping. When you see anyone, let alone your friend, looking upset(even if it is just resting bitch face) you at least make sure they are ok.  I spent most of that party either alone, pretending to be included when I really wasn't, or talking to parents. I don't think it really clicked with anyone other than my mom( who has listened to this rant a million times) that I was being left out and that was why I was sitting alone. That was why I was talking to them. That was why I was relatively silent when I wasn't with them.

The Thing I Shouldn't Have to Say

The thing that makes this so infuriating is that these people are my friends. I spent hundreds of hours with them, and this is what I get in return. I always try to be a shoulder to cry on, even if I'm shit at giving advice. I really shouldn't have to say this, but inviting someone to a party isn't enough. Talk to them! Play sticks with them! Include them. It isn't hard. If you didn't choose someone to come to the event( cast parties, school events) still be nice. If someone is alone and looks lonely, say hi.

The sad part is a second grader in the bus line made me feel more included than a large group of kids around my age(1-2 year age gaps). I know it isn't difficult to make some at least feel somewhat included, especially between close friends, because my friends and I do it every day at the lunch table. If someone isn't having a conversation with someone, or at least attempting to, they chose to do so. We are in a small space with at least 3 conversations going on. We all know what is going on with each other's life without texting constantly.

Moral: include your fucking friends.

A/N Oh my Loki is this one long. One. Thank you for reading this. Two. If you guys know me personally please don't go after these people(I doubt that y'all will be rude but just safeguarding myself). Three. If any of the people who take part in this story figure out who I am and that this story is about them, just do better. I understand if y'all want to abandon me as your friend, but if you really want to change something between us, then do better. Four. If anyone needs to talk about life or how your friends are being shitty Hoomans, just dm me and I should respond.

Now my guys, gals, and non-binary pals, don't die :)