INSANE

This 12 by 12 room with four padded white walls and a small bullet proof window has become my home. The room is cozy. It has a bed, a toilet, and just enough room to feel comfortable. The only thing I can't stand is the solitude. I hate being alone. When I'm alone, the voices seem to haunt me. They're constantly mumbling and sometimes yell and scream. When they yell and scream, I clasp my head between my hands and curl into a ball. All my muscles will bunch up and I scream until my caretakers rushed in with a syringe. It takes several people to uncoil me. With a pinch of a needle, my body instantly relaxes. My screaming subsides and I relax, instantly feeling tired. Thankfully, I haven't had an episode in a couple of days. Now, I sit and listen to the ruckus in the room beside me. It was the voice of an innocently forgetful man. He has no sense of who he actually is. I've seen him once. Scars crisscross his face and his left eyes is missing. His black hair is matted and his brown eyes always contain a look of fear. His screaming became louder.

"Stay away! Stay away!" He shouted.

Then the voices that haut me kicked in.

"Stay away! Stay away! That's what he said when you walked in. He blames you for his fathers death!" One mocked.

"Ha! He's too sick to realize his mistake. You honestly think he cared about his friend?" Another mocked.

Several more voice pitched in. All the voices merged together and grew louder. Tears streamed down my face and I clasped my head between my hands.

"Stop it....stop it....stop it...." I repeated.

Then I screamed and bunched up into a ball on the floor. My nails dug into the side of my face, leaving red marks and blood. The door to my room flew open and several caretakers rushed in.

"I cared...I cared....I didn't kill...." I whispered.

The prick of the needle hit and slowly I began to relax. One of the few caretakers I trusted, took ahold of my arm and helped me sit up. Her name was April. She had soft brown eyes and wavy black hair. Her voice was soft and caring. I could listen to her voice all day long. I went to struggle and pull away but April tightened her grip on my arm.

"Hey, you're okay, Jack. You're okay."

She took her other hand moved my hand from the side of my face. She frowned at the sight of the blood.

"We're not going to have to put you in a straight jacket again, are we?" A caretaker with sad looking green eyes and a bald head asked.

I looked between the caretakers but I couldn't find it in me to speak.

"Jack, do you want to talk about it?" April asked.

I shook my head and pulled myself shakily to my feet. I limped over to the bed and plopped down. My hands shook and tears well in my eyes.

"I-I didn't kill him....I'd never do that...." I whispered.

Seeing that they weren't going to get anymore of an explanation from me, the caretakers left. I laid down and cried softly. The voices starting mumbling again but that medicine the caretakers gave me was really kicking in. Sleep finally took its hold on my body and I closed my eyes. Soon the white padded walls and mumbling voices faded.