Chapter 9 - Movies

I sat in the back seat of Ethan's car. Mya sat up front. I didn't mind her sitting up in front. I like it back here . . . away from him. I gotta be nice remember that. The car came to a stop and I didn't realize that we were already in front of the movie theaters. I breathed in and got out of the car.

"Are you going to be alright?" Mya asked me.

I looked over at her. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine."

I put my hands in my jean's pocket and walked with them up to the door. Maybe . . . this isn't the right time to come here. I mean after all he did die here. But, we're here for the movie. So it will get my mind off of things. We got in line for the tickets and I got money out.

"Put that back, I'm paying." Ethan said.

"No, its fine I can pay for mine."

He took the money out of my hand. "No you're not. I'm paying."

I scowled at him. There is no way I'll get myself out of this one. "Fine." I said.

He gave me back my money. I sighed and put it back in my pocket. I looked over at Mya who was staring at me. I know Mya can see right through me. She knows how much pain I am in. I can't fool her. Heck, I can't fool myself. We all know I'm lying. We all know I'm suffering inside and I just don't want to admit it.

"Kasie."

I looked over.

"Come on." He said.

I was so deep in thought I didn't know he already got the tickets. I walked over to Mya and Ethan. When we got into the theater we sat in the back row. Last time I was here we sat in the middle. There I go again thinking about it. I slapped myself in the head.

"You okay there?" Ethan asked me.

"Huh?"

He probably thought I was an idiot for hitting myself in the head.

"I was just thinking that's all." I said.

"Thinking of . . . Jake?"

I heard a slap sound and looked over at Mya.

"Don't bring that up." She said angry at him.

"Sorry."

My phone vibrated. I got it out of my pocket. Sam. I picked it up.

"Hi." I said.

"Hey, sorry I didn't call earlier. I was really busy." Sam said.

"It's fine."

"No I don't want that there!" I heard his mom say in the background.

"My mom is kind of getting angry at the people over here."

"No, pick it up and move it! I'm not paying you for nothing." She yelled again.

Sam sighed. "So how's it going there?"

"I'm at the movie theaters."

"The movie theaters? Don't you think that's a little too soon?"

"Nope."

"Is Ethan with you?"

"Yeah."

"Give the phone to him."

"Why?"

"Please just give him the phone."

I held my hand out with the phone. "Here, Sam wants to talk to you." I said.

He took the phone. "Hello?"

What does Sam want from Ethan?

"I'll be back." Ethan said getting up and leaving.

I looked at Mya confused. She just shrugged. It got silent between Mya and me.

"Do you go to church?" She asked me out of the blue.

"Church?" I asked.

"Yeah, Sunday mornings or maybe Saturday nights."

"No. I haven't gone since I was little."

"Me neither."

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know . . . It just kind of popped in my head. Ethan use to go to church. I don't know whatever happened to that. I haven't asked him."

Ethan use to go to church? That's a little shocking. He doesn't seem like that kind of person.

"We should go some time." She said.

"To church. Why?"

"Why not?"

Because it brings back painful memories that's why.

"I don't know." I said.

She had a calm and peaceful look on her face. She always thinks everything will be alright but it never is. When has anything gone right in my life? First my parents die, I've been having all sorts of trouble with Ethan, then Jake dies, Sam left, and now it's just Ethan and me. Why does it hurt so much?

I went to go start crying but then Ethan came back and handed me my phone.

"Sam said he'll call back later." He said sitting back down.

"What did he want?" I asked.

"Nothing really."

"Uh huh . . . really?"

"Really."

"I don't believe that."

"That's okay, you don't have to." He put an arm around Mya.

I slouched in my seat still having a hold of my cell phone.

I want to know what Sam told him. I know Sam will never tell me. This totally sucks. I put my elbow on the arm rest on the right side and rested my head on top my hand. Ethan was to my left and Mya was next to him. I feel so weird going to the movies with just the two of them. It's not normal. I can't deny it . . . I do feel lonely.

The movie was over and the lights came on slightly. If that was supposed to be a funny movie then that movie really needs some help because I wasn't laughing one bit. That was a waste of money.

Ethan nudged me. "Come on." He said standing up.

I got up and walked out of the room. Ethan and Mya followed behind.

"Hey, I gotta use the bathroom real quick." Mya said. "Be right back." She went back down the hall.

I sat down on the bench out in the lobby. Ethan leaned up against the wall next to the bench and we waited for Mya. I looked out to my left to where the window was and watched everyone leave or come in to watch a movie. I kept to myself and didn't say anything to Ethan.

"You've been acting strange around me lately." Ethan said.

I looked over at him. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know . . . Did - did you hear what I was saying to Sam on Thursday?"

Damn it . . . I think he found out . . . What do I say? I can't say I did or nothing will be the same anymore. I can't just say yes I heard your confession about me.

"No, why?" I said trying not to make it too obvious.

He shrugged and sat next to me. "You sure you didn't hear anything?" He stared at me with his sparkly blue eyes.

Every time I look at his eyes it just makes me want to tell him the truth. But I'm not going to. I can't ruin our relationship.

"I'm sure." I said.

He moved my hair out of my face.

"Why do you always do that?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"You, you always act different every time you're with or without Mya. You ignore and make fun of me some times when you're with Mya and then without her you always act . . . I can't even describe it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You never 'move the hair off from my face' when Mya is around. Why do you do it when she's not around?"

He laughed. "Do you think I'm trying to flirt with you?"

"What? No."

"You do don't you."

"No I don't."

"Wow, I can't believe you're hitting on me."

I took my hand and hit him hard in the chest. "Yeah well now I'm really hitting on you."

"Ow." He said softly rubbing his chest.

Mya came back. "Ready?"

"Yes." I said getting up. "Let's go." I walked out the door.

"What did you do?" Mya asked Ethan as she walked behind me.

"Nothing much."

I got to the car and waited for Ethan to unlock the door. It was dark outside. I don't get to go home; I get to go to Mya's and sleep over. I heard the door unlock and I got in. I laid my head back on the seat and looked outside. When am I going to wake up from this dream? Never . . . This isn't a dream, this is real life.

We got to Mya's house and went inside.

"Are you staying for a little while?" Mya asked Ethan.

"Yeah, if that's okay." Ethan said.

"Of course, is that okay Kasie?" She looked at me.

Why is she asking me? It's her house and her boyfriend.

"Yeah." I said.

Ethan shut the door.

"Hey, you three! How was the movie?" Mya's mom, Diana, yelled out from the other room.

"It was okay." Mya said. "Nothing special.

"That's too bad. I'm just out here doing work."

"Okay."

I plopped down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. I'm so tired. I didn't sleep much . . . This will be the first night I'll be spending without Sam. I'm so depressed and Ethan isn't making it any better.

"What's wrong Kasie?" Mya asked me as she sat next to me on the couch.

"Nothing, just tired."

That's the best lie in the book.

"Oh, I don't know what time you want to go to bed tonight."

"Whenever. I'm not that tired. I can stay up."

Ethan sat on the other side of me. I looked to my left at Mya then looked at Ethan to my right. I'm kind of in the middle of them.

"Do you want me to move over there?" I asked about to get up. "I'll give you two-."

"Sit." They both said pulling me back down on the couch.

"Okay." I said in an awkward position.

Mya reached over and grabbed the remote that sat on the coffee table. She turned the TV on. I pulled my knees up against my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I made sure no part of me was touching Ethan. Little creep . . .

For a couple of hours we just kind of watched TV and talked a bit. We didn't talk about a lot of things. We hardly talked at all actually. Sometimes I noticed Ethan looking at me but when I did I looked over at Mya and she didn't realize anything. I don't think Mya even cares that Ethan is sitting next to me. I can't really tell if she gets jealous or not. Jealousy is a disease, don't catch it.

I saw Ethan look over at the clock. "I better get going." He said and stood up. "My mom wants me home before she goes off to work."

Mya stood up and gave him a hug. I was going to not look but first of all they were in front of the TV so I couldn't help but look at them. They stopped hugging.

"Aren't you going to give me a hug?" Ethan said to me.

In your dreams.

"No." I said.

"Oh come on, give me a hug."

"Uh, no."

Mya chuckled. "Don't force her." She said. "If she wants to give you a hug she can."

Saved by Mya again.

"When do you want me to bring you home tomorrow?" Ethan asked me.

"Uh . . . Do I have to be home a certain time?" I asked Mya.

"No, of course not. You can leave whenever you want to."

"Probably two." I told Ethan.

"Okay. See you two tomorrow." He said and left.

I sneezed after he left.

"Bless you." Mya said.

"Thanks."

I better not be getting sick. I was out in the freezing cold rain on Thursday. Oh great . . .

"We'll be sleeping down here tonight." Mya said.

"Okay."

"We're going to sleep on the pull out couch. There is enough room for the both of us. I hope that's okay."

"Yeah that's fine."

"Good." She smiled.

I've never been left alone with Mya. Well I mean, all night long. Just the two of us . . . plus her mom. My phone vibrated. I got it out of my pocket. Sam.

"Hey Sam."

"Hey, how's it going? How was the movie?"

"It was . . . not funny." I said.

"Oh, sorry to hear that."

Mya got my attention by waving her hand in front of my face. "I'll go get some pillows and blankets." Mya whispered to me.

I nodded.

She left and went upstairs.

"So how are things over there?" I asked.

"Is that Kasie!" I heard someone say. "Tell her I said hi."

"Not now mom." Sam said.

Must be Joyce.

"Hi Kasie!" I heard her yell.

"Would you cut that out." Sam said getting angry.

"Sounds like someone is in a bad mood." She said.

"Can you go?" He waited for a reply. "Now." He said.

"Okay, fine, I'll leave. Talk to you soon Kasie!" She yelled again.

Sam sighed and I heard a slam.

"I love your mom." I said to Sam.

"My mom acts like a 3 year old. It's kind of sad if I have to go outside because she's being too loud."

I chuckled.

"Um, so what are you doing now?" He asked.

"Nothing much. Just sitting in Mya's living room. She went upstairs a minute ago."

"Is Ethan there?"

"No, he left right before you called . . . What did you say to him? Earlier . . ."

"Nothing."

I knew he wasn't going to tell me.

"Was it about me?" I asked.

"No . . ."

"Was it about him?"

"No . . ."

"Then what?"

"Nothing. It's not important."

I sighed. I'm really not going to get anything out of this guy.

"We have to set a date for you to come up." Sam said.

"Don't change the subject." I said.

"Too bad. You're not going to find out."

"Fine . . ." I said frustrated. "But yeah. I don't know when you want me to come up."

"We'll figure something out."

"Sam dear!" Joyce said. "I need your manly strength to push the couch."

I laughed.

"You want that thing moved again!" He yelled at her.

"Yes! Now get in here!" She said changing her whole attitude.

Sam sighed. "I gotta go Kasie. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

I pressed end. Loneliness crept up on me. I don't have anyone to really comfort me. No one like Jake and no one like Sam. Ethan is the last person I would ever go to for comfort. Especially if I'm lonely.

Mya came down the stairs and had blankets and pillows in her hand. She came over to the couch and let go of them.

"I got the stuff." She said smiling.

"Cool." I said trying to get a smile out of me.