Chapter Four - You Promised

We walked into the hospital and I was about to break down crying. We got to his room and I was glad it was from the opposite direction from last night. I stayed right in the door way when I came to the room.

"Hey babe." Mya said. "How are you?"

"Fine. I just got some stitches and a couple of cruises that's all."

He put his black shirt back on.

"How'd you do that?" She asked.

"I . . ." He looked at me. "I got in a fight."

"Ethan, we've been through this." His mom said.

"I know mom." He said. "I'm sorry." He said still looking at me.

He meant to say that to his mom but it felt like he was saying it to me. I took his sweat shirt off me and through it on the bed.

"Deals off." I said then walked out.

"Kasie!" He yelled at me.

I got out of the hospital and started walking home. It's a long ways but I need the fresh air.

Later that night, I was in my plaid white pajama bottoms with a gray shirt. I had some movie on that I am watching down stairs. There was a knock at the door. The only person I know that would come to my house at 11 o'clock at night is Ethan.

I got up and unlocked my door and opened it.

"Can I come in?" Ethan asked.

"If I said no you'd just bother me more."

He came in; I shut the door and locked it again. I never leave my doors unlocked. Ethan took my arm he examined it looking for new cuts. They're noticeable because I never washed the blood off.

"Kasie, I'm sorry." He said.

I pulled my arm away. "Whatever." I walked into the kitchen. He followed behind me.

"Kasie, I had to."

I got water from the fridge. "You didn't have to you chose to." I said. "Who'd you beat up this time an 8 year old?"

"Tyler, the boy who shot Jake."

"What?"

"He was at my house waiting for me. My mom was at work at the time. Tyler started mocking me that I was weak, that I couldn't save Jake and I just got so angry. I had to. I wasn't going to stand there and listen to him."

"What if he had a gun Ethan? You could have gotten shot too."

"I know."

I started crying. "When Mya said you were in the hospital . . ." I couldn't finish my sentence. "Do you know how I felt!? I've been in so much pain and you just had to do that! I almost thought about killing myself if you ended up dead."

"What? Kasie, don't think about that. I'm not going to leave you. I won't fight anymore I promise. Just don't ever think of that."

I shook my head. "You promised."

"I won't do it. I promise. I won't break it."

I wiped my tears away.

I've cried so much these two days my eyes burn.

Ethan came over to me and gave me a hug. "I won't leave you, okay?"

Awkward . . .

I pushed him away from me. "Yeah, whatever."

"Kasie, I know this is hard. But -."

"I don't care. You don't need to watch out for me. I'm doing fine on my own."

"Yeah, fine as in cutting yourself over and over."

"Just go home Ethan."

"No."

No, no this guy is going to leave my house before I literally drag him out.

"What do you mean no!?" I yelled.

"Exactly that. I'm not going."

I left the room and went upstairs. Ethan followed.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

I went in my room and slammed the door. Ethan stood outside my room.

"Come on Kasie."

"Go away!" I yelled at him.

I feel like I'm suffering. Why would Jake tell him to watch me? Why would he do that to me? I can't do it. I can't live him. I feel like screaming!

"Kasie? Do you want me to call Sam? I can have him come over."

"No. I just want to be alone. Just go away."

There was silence for a second.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning." He said and I heard his footsteps fade.

As soon as I heard the door shut and the car leave I came out of my room and went down stairs. There is no point for me to be cooped up in my room now that he is gone. I sat on the couch and watched TV till midnight.

It's been a whole twenty-four hours since Jake left me. For some reason I feel like he's still here but he's just on a long vacation.

I was going to watch TV till midnight but there is too many things going on in my head. I was hoping TV would get my mind off of stuff but I was wrong.

I heard the door open then close. I heard stepping than a pause and the stepping sound came closer.

"Kasie? What are you doing on the couch?" Ethan asked.

I sat up and rubbed my face. I just shrugged.

"I know I'm kinda early but you left your bag in my car and you need to do your homework." He explained.

"Oh, uh thanks."

I was still mad at him but getting angry at him isn't going to fix anything. It will just make things worse.

"Hey, are you okay? You don't look so good." He put his hand to my forehead. "I think you have a fever."

"I'm fine." I pushed his hand off me.

"Just tell me if you don't feel well . . . Your bags from yesterday are in my car."

"Okay." I said rubbing my temples. "How'd you even get a key to my place?"

"Sam gave me one the other day."

"You can't just hand out my keys to anyone." I whispered.

"Kasie, did you wash those cuts out last night?" He asked changing the subject.

"No."

"Kasie." He took my arm and pulled the sleeve up. My arm was all red and puffy. "They're infected that's why you have a fever. Get up."

I got up and followed him up the stairs to the bathroom. He got the hydrogen peroxide that was sitting next to the sink. He poured it on my arms and it burned more than it did last time.

"Why do you care about me so much?" I asked.

"I've known you for what. Ten years."

"Eleven."

"Eleven, excuse me. I've known you for a very long time. I don't know what I would do without you . . . Now get ready you have homework to do."

Ethan made me take Penicillin after I took a shower to kill the infection. It wasn't that bad. I wasn't going to die.

Since I had to change plans yesterday with Sam I'm hanging out with him today. Sam and I went to some coffee shop after school and we just sat and talked.

"So, you're moving Saturday?" I asked.

He nodded "We'll hang out this summer though."

"Its five hours away Sam."

"And I'll be a phone call away."

"It's not the same. You can't just leave me with Ethan."

"Ethan isn't that bad of a guy. Weren't you friends with him a long time ago?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then go back to that time where you two were good friends. Get to know him a little better."

"I don't want to! He's mean."

"He's not mean. You're just making it seem like that."

I looked away from Sam.

"You know I am right." He said.

"So, um . . . Have you heard when Jake's funeral is?" I managed to say without crying.

"Uh, tomorrow. 10 o'clock."

I have to miss school tomorrow. Which is good because I hate school. But, I don't want to go to his funeral. I don't want to. He's not dead . . . he's just on a long vacation.

I was about to cry but I stopped myself and changed the subject.

"Do you really have to go?" I asked.

"Yeah. My mom got a new job. We have to move."

I sat in my seat silent mixing up my blue slushy drink. I didn't want to get into the conversation. I've cried too much already. I don't need to cry more now.

Sam and I sat at the table and waited for it to get late. We talked about random things for the rest of the day. I felt so sad all of a sudden but I tried to smile for Sam. Everyone is so happy but me. Why is that? Why do I feel so sad but no one else does? I don't understand.

I looked at my watch. Ethan was going to pick me up. I would rather have Sam take me home but Ethan insisted he take me. It's about time for him to pick me up. So where is he?

A hand touched my head. I looked up. Ethan was looking down at me with his blue eyes.

"Ready?" He said.

I looked over at Sam and back at Ethan.

"Yeah."

I got up and so did Sam. I gave Sam a hug goodbye. I looked over at Ethan while I was hugging Sam. What I saw in his eyes was jealousy. Why would he be jealous?

"See you tomorrow."

"Okay." I left Sam's arms and went with Ethan.

Stupid Ethan. I don't want him near me yet I have to. I got in the car with him and he drove off.

"Are you . . . going tomorrow morning?" Ethan asked me.

"Yeah . . ."

"Then I'll come get you at nine thirty tomorrow."

I didn't say anything. I tried my best to not cry. He's just on a long vacation . . . That's all I have to think about.

Ethan pulled up in my drive way. I unbuckled and went to go open the door.

"Kasie?"

I looked over at him.

"Uh, your arms. Have they gotten any better?"

That's not what he was going to say. I just know it.

I pulled up my sleeve. They have gotten a lot better. They aren't as red and puffy as it was earlier.

"They're fine."

"Okay."

I opened the door.

"Call if you need anything." He said.

"K."

Not.

I got out of the car and went inside my house. I locked the door. I am now alone in my house. Right about now I'd be on the phone with Jake or he'd be here and we'd be watching something on TV.

Stop thinking about it! I'm going to cry . . .

I breathed in and let a big sigh out. I flipped the light switch on so there would be a little more light. I went over to the couch and plopped down. I feel so lonely . . .