Chapter Three - We All Have to Let Him Go

There was a clunk that awoke me.

"Kasie get down here we're going to be late!" I heard Ethan yell. I heard him come up the stairs and open the door. "Kasie, you're not even dressed. Come on get up." He nudged my arm.

"I don't want to go to school." I said while sitting up.

"We have four more days left. Go take a shower I'll wait . . . What's on your arm?"

"What? Nothing." I hid my arms under my blanket.

He grabbed my arm and lifted it up.

"Kasie!" He yelled at me.

He pulled me off the bed and too me in to my bathroom in my room. He left me at the sink and went through my shelves.

"Why would you do that?" He asked.

"Why? You do it."

He got the hydrogen peroxide and opened the lid.

"Hold you arms out." He demanded.

"What? No it will burn."

"You're the one who cut yourself."

"They're not infected."

"They will be if you don't put this on." He pulled my arms out and poured it on the cuts.

"Ow." I heard it sizzle and it burned.

He put the lid back on. "You don't ever do that again you hear me!" He yelled at me.

"As long as you promise me you won't get in anymore fights."

"I promise. That means you won't do that. Now shower up. Wash those out a little more too."

He went out to the door way.

"Yes, father." I mocked him.

He shut the door.

I took a nice long hot shower. Even though Ethan banged on the door 5 times to say hurry up because we're late for school. I looked at my cuts. They looked like they were worse.

"Kasie! We gotta go, class is in 3 min!" Ethan yelled.

I opened the door.

"Okay you took your shower; your bag is in my car let's go." He said.

"Fine let's go." I finally said.

"Wait . . . get a sweat shirt, your arms."

"I don't have one . . ."

"Wear Ja . . ." He faded off.

"I left my other jacket in his car." I explained.

"I have one in my car. Let's just get out of here."

I wore Ethan's sweat shirt to school today. I was just thankful it wasn't that hot out. Not even a minute at school Mya came up and kissed Ethan.

"Hey babe." Ethan said.

"I was waiting forever for you to get here." She said.

"I know. Just a little late."

I slammed the door.

Ethan looked over. The bell rung.

"We have to get to class. I'll see you at lunch." Ethan said.

"I'll miss you." She said.

"Miss you too."

They both kissed again and Mya ran off. Ethan looked at me.

"What?" He said.

"Thanks for that little moment."

I walked in school. I wasn't watching and there was a wet floor sign and I fell. Ethan ran over.

"Hey, you okay?" He lifted me on my feet.

Everyone laughed at me. I put my hood up and walked away. Everyone started going to class. I went to my locker and did my combination. It didn't open. I tried it again. It still didn't open. I kicked the locker.

"What's wrong?" Ethan asked.

"I can't open it." I said.

"What's your combination?"

"Ten, seven, twenty-two."

He opened it.

"Thanks." I said softly. I put some books away from my bag then put my bag in my locker. I got my books that I need and slammed the door.

Ethan followed behind me in silence as we walked to class. I walked in class and the teacher wasn't there yet. Everyone stared at me while I headed to my seat in the back. I hate when people do that. You never know what they're thinking inside their heads. I just ignored them and took my seat.

It was lunch and the day was getting slower and I don't think I will be able to handle it. Ethan sat with his girlfriend at lunch. We had a choice if we could eat on the tables outside or inside. The outside was right in the center of the school. Basically our whole school is a square. I sat inside away from everyone. I didn't buy lunch.

All I did was sit in the corner with my feet up on the table and was drawing in my notebook. It was my English notebook because that's what I had next period. Sam wasn't in my lunch period. He was in the second lunch period. We have such a big school that they have to split us up for lunch. I did little hearts and then drew a knife threw it and sometimes I got so angry I just scribbled all over ruining the paper.

"You okay there?"

I looked up. Ethan took a chair and sat beside me.

"Where's Mya? I asked snobby.

"She went to go get her books for next period." He said ignoring my sarcastic tone. "Listen I was talking to Mya and she wanted to know if you would like to hang out with her after school. I know you don't have a lot of girl friends."

"Sam, remember." I reminded him I was suppose to hang out with him today.

"I already talked to him about it. He thought it would be good for you."

"How . . ." I asked.

He took his cell out. "Its lunch there are no teachers around. I can use it."

"But he's still in class."

"Kasie, you can do things without the teacher knowing. So what do you say I'll drop you and Mya off at the mall?"

"I don't know Ethan."

"It's better than staying in the house all day." He said trying to convince me.

"Let me see . . . no."

"Come on. Just for today."

"Fine."

"Thank you . . ." He looked at me weird.

"What?"

He put down my hood. "You look better without it."

The bell rung.

"See ya later." He said walking away.

I don't want school to end now. But now because I want that, school is going to go a lot faster.

After classes I waited in front of the school for Ethan to get out here with Mya. Sam came out and stood next to me leaning against the wall like I was.

"You and Mya huh?" He said

"I don't even wanna go." I complained.

"When was the last time you had quality girl time?"

"Second grade." I answered.

"It will be good for you."

There was a silent pause.

"Am I the only one sad?" I asked.

He looked over at me.

"No one seems sad but me." I continued.

"Jake was my only guy friend." He said.

"You don't even seem sad." I pointed out.

"Guys don't usually show their emotion like girls do."

"I loved him and I can't ever tell him again." I said trying not to cry but couldn't help myself.

"We're all going to have to let him go sooner or later."

"I just can't."

"Where'd you get that swear shirt?" He asked changing the subject.

I wiped the tears away. "It's Ethan's."

"Why you wearing that it's like 80 degrees out?"

"My arms."

"Your arms?" He repeated. "What's wrong with your arms?"

I pulled my sleeve up. He saw all the cuts on my arms.

"Did you do that?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said pulling it back down.

"Why?"

"It gets awfully lonely in my house. Sometimes you just tend to do it."

Ethan came out with Mya.

"Oh, hey Sam. Uh you ready Kasie?" Ethan said.

"Yeah let's get this over with." I said while walking away.

"Bye Kasie." Sam said sarcastically.

I waved my hand in the air.

We were at the mall parking lot and Ethan stopped the car.

"I'll let you out here." Ethan said.

"Kay. See ya." Mya said then kissed him.

I tried opening the door so I wouldn't have to watch but the door was locked. He unlocked it while he was still kissing her. I just left my bag in the car and took my cell and wallet. I got out of his black Jaguar XF. Mya came out too.

Ethan put his window down.

"Kasie." He said.

What did he want now?

I went to the window.

"What?"

"Listen I know you don't approve of her." He said using the same words I did yesterday.

"We all know that Ethan." I said using the words he said.

"Just smile would you."

"You don't" I mentioned.

"I'm not a smile kind of person."

"Neither am I."

He gripped the steering wheel. "I'll see you later." He said.

I walked away without saying anything to him. He drove away.

"So, do you want to get something to eat? Or we can go shopping first. This is on Ethan."

"In that case let's go shopping first." I decided.

Later, Mya and I bought a lot of clothes. We got a couple of shirts, shorts, and shoes for each of us. We spent over a hundred dollars but Ethan gave us two thirty so we had money to get something to eat before he comes at six. We sat down eating and talking.

"So you having fun?" Mya asked me.

"Actually I am. It's getting my mind off stuff." I admitted.

"Are you doing better?"

"I don't know. It's been rough."

"Ethan is really worried about you. He feels bad."

"I don't need his pity."

"No one really does."

Mya's phone rang.

"One second." She said and got her cell. "Hello? What? Is he alright? We'll be there." She hung the phone up. "We gotta go." She said.

"What? Why? What happened?" I asked.

"Ethan is in the hospital."

This is when I just couldn't handle the pain.

"His mom is waiting outside."

"Is he alright?" I asked shaky.

"Yeah. But we have to hurry his mom is waiting. Come on."

We got all our bags and went outside to meet his mom. She was very shocked to see me since I haven't seen her in 6 years. I'm glad I can see a familiar adult's face.