There's something oddly soothing about watching Jimin cook.

It's not like any of them really cook. Instant food is only ever as far as their dreams can go. The difference is that while Jungkook and Taehyung make a sincere effort to never, ever stray from the instructions on the packet, Jimin is flexible enough to chop up an unrelated vegetable and toss it into the mix, because nutrients and healthy lifestyle and stuff.

But that's not entirely it. It's more that Jimin really seems to know what he's doing, and never pauses to stare blankly at the stove. And the right smells actually come out of the pot. It's all very nice.

"You could help, you know," Jimin says, while he chops a tomato just for the heck of it.

Jungkook starts. "What do you need?"

Jimin points at an onion next to him with his knife. "Chop this? And if Taehyung comes by, stab him."

Taehyung doesn't seem to hear them. He's studying, for once, with an app open on his phone growing trees so that he isn't tempted to pick it up and explode some things.

Jungkook considers the onion from all possible sides before peeling it. The slightest bit of it is rotten - Jimin had probably dug it up from some forgotten corner of the room.

"We should have a vegetable garden," Jungkook realizes.

Jimin gives him a look. "We eat one vegetable per week," he says.

"Which is why we need a vegetable garden."

"Or we could get Taehyung to build us mutants or something."

Jungkook brightens up even more. "We could! Mega potatoes and mega mushrooms."

"I'm a zoology major, not a botanist," Taehyung mutters, having finally heard them.

"Big difference," Jimin says. "Make mutant eggs, then."

Taehyung gives them both a blank look, like he's too tired to even be exasperated, and turns back to his book. Jungkook digs out the rotten part of the onion and tosses it into the trash.

"So what happened to Yoongi?" Jimin asks, almost casually, but it isn't hard to see that there's still an underlying hatred to it. "Did he come out of his room at last?"

"Yeah," Jungkook says. The onion slips out of his grasp as he chops it. He tries to hold it still. "Hoseok hyung says he just gets like that sometimes. He's apparently fine now."

"Did you see him?"

"Nope. He texted me, though."

"Hm." Jimin proceeds to conjure some chilies out of nowhere, also mildly rotten. He chops off the rotten parts and tosses them onto the floor. There's a reason his room is a disaster zone. "He didn't come out at all? Not even to go to the bathroom?"

"How would I know?"

"These are questions of science, Jungkookie, you're supposed to pay attention."

Jungkook gives him a look, but to be honest he's a bit curious too. He shoves it aside - his senior's bladder issues are absolutely none of his business.

"I'm hungry," Taehyung groans. They both ignore him.

Jungkook finishes with his onion. It doesn't look as great as Jimin's, but it's a job done, and thereby a job well done. It's like, the first achievement he's made in a very long time, so he revels in the pride it gives him.

The pride fades a bit when Jimin gives the cut portion a displeased look and scrapes it into the pot, but it's still there nonetheless.

"I cut an onion," he tells Taehyung. Taehyung applauds politely without turning to look. There are still mild scars on his face from the mess that he'd gotten into last week, but the worst of it has faded. He doesn't try to hide them anymore, now that Jimin figured it all out - he treats them more like battle scars.

His phone pings in his pocket, and he sets aside his knife to take a look. It's an event notification from GOT7, a band of second year guys, who Jungkook may or may not be slightly obsessed with.

"GOT7 is performing tomorrow," he announces, wide eyed.

Taehyung groans and bangs his head against the table. "Of course," he grumbles. "Of course they'd wait until I have an exam. I was so free all these days, did they think of singing? No."

"Killas will be there too," Jimin says. "It's some sort of selection for an intercollege event. I think 18G will be there too?"

Jungkook bounces slightly on his feet. "We can go, right?"

Jimin seems to hesitate. "I don't think so, Kook-ah," he says. "I have practice till eight tomorrow. And Taehyung has...whatever it is he has, I didn't even bother to ask."

"Mid term," Taehyung says, voice muffled as he presses his face against the table. "Can I skip? I can write it next year."

"No." Jimin turns back to Jungkook. "Hoseok-hyung will have practice, too. Anyone else you could take?"

It's an empty question, and Jungkook, likewise, doesn't even bother with an answer. He can't help the crushing disappointment that hits him - GOT7, in all their glory - but who could he possibly go with?

"You could ask Yoongi?" Jimin says, but he can't hide his smirk, and Jungkook gives him a nasty look. He'd rather go alone than go with Yoongi. No offense, of course, but Yoongi would probably judge his every emotion and spout technical music terms at him and overall make Jungkook hate himself. He has a nagging feeling that Yoongi won't even like GOT7.

It's not like he hasn't gone alone before. He's had to, back before he met Jimin and Taehyung. The trick is to keep your arms in, head low, stay close enough to groups to not stick out and far enough to not attract conversation. When it comes to turning invisible Jungkook is a true pro.

It's childish, but literally the only problem with going alone is in finding a place to sit. He hates finding seats, the awkwardness that comes with asking is someone sitting here?

"I'll go alone, then," he declares.

Jimin glances at him, a bit concerned, then shrugs, and continues poking at the steaming pot of noodles. "I'll try to join you," he says. "Can't make promises, though."

In the end, Jimin doesn't make it, and Jungkook ends up outside the auditorium a good half hour late.

There's no one outside. The doors are shut, and he can feel the beat of the music pounding against his chest, which isn't facing a lack of pounding to begin with. He stares at the door in dismay.

It's not like it's locked. He just has to push it. But the programs have started, and the auditorium is dark, and he knows how pissed off the audience gets when someone opens the door and lets light in. Not to mention the place will be full by now and he can kiss the idea of getting a seat goodbye.

He circles around the auditorium for a while, checking for gaps in the windows. He presses his ear to the wall. He can make out the music vaguely, too vaguely for it to make him feel anything but frustration. Judging by the cheers and screams either something incredible is happening on stage, or someone is shredding public decency. That happens more often than Jungkook is comfortable with.

Jimin would have got them in easily. Jungkook slumps down against the wall, glaring darkly ahead of him. He isn't sure how much time he spends there, but the cheers quiet down, then explode again, then quiet down, and basically everyone besides him is having a heck of a good time.

Someone turns the corner, and he starts. The other person startles even more.

"Jungkook?"

"Seokjin-ssi." Jungkook straightens up, trying to look like it's perfectly normal to be chilling out alone near the auditorium with zero things to entertain himself with. He doesn't even have his phone in his hand.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nothing."

Seokjin's eyebrows raise. "Are you hiding from someone?"

Jungkook shakes his head and jabs a finger at the auditorium sheepishly. "I was trying to hear what was going on," he admits.

Seokjin looks amused. "I think there's a door?"

"The program started already," Jungkook protests. "I can't go in now."

"Honestly, Jungkook-ah, I think that's what doors are for."

He holds out a hand to pull Jungkook up. Jungkook takes it, hesitant, unsure of where this is going and what he's gotten into now.

"I'll come with you," Seokjin says, exaggerating an air of extreme importance.

"What, no, it's fine!"

Seokjin gives him a look.

"I don't want to bother you," Jungkook says, in case he hadn't gotten that across and it sounded like he hated Seokjin or something.

"I see," Seokjin says, like he doesn't see at all. "In that case, you can come with me."

"...that makes no sense?"

"It does!" He's oddly cheerful as he drags Jungkook to the door. "If you're coming with me instead of me coming with you, then I'm bothering you and not the other way around."

Jungkook considers that, and really tries to make sense of it, but nothing comes to him. Before he can say anything else, Seokjin pushes the door open and the lights and music hit them in the face.

Anything else swiftly tumbles out of his brain as Jungkook stares in awe.

No one pays them any mind as they inch their way through the crowd. Jungkook keeps forgetting to look where he's going and crashing into people, too busy staring at the stage (so many lights, so much sound), so Seokjin grabs his elbow and tugs him behind him.

No matter how many times Jungkook comes to the auditorium, it will always shock him how it feels like he's stepped into a different world. Where suddenly words don't seem to matter, his physical presence doesn't seem to matter. He feels like he doesn't exist. The music pounds into them, striking their cores, and everything else becomes insignificant.

There's a group of girls singing on stage, accompanied by a violin and a piano. It's an odd remix of sorts, mixing classical and hip hop, and the audience is pretty happy with it.

Seokjin manages to find some empty seats at the far back, and they make their way towards them with a series of excuse me, ouch, sorry.

"I know them," Seokjin says, once they've settled, leaning sideways so that Jungkook can hear him. He gestures towards the stage. "They're in Yoongi's class."

Jungkook sometimes forgets that Yoongi goes to class like normal humans. "Oh."

"Yeah, their work is pretty popular. Yoongi hates them, though."

"Why?" Jungkook thinks they're awesome.

"You know, I think he's just jealous," Seokjin says, with a smile. "But he says that they lack creativity and spontaneity and then a bunch of jumbled music terms I didn't understand."

"He's probably just jealous," Jungkook agrees.

The violinist does something particularly crazy that neither he nor Seokjin know the technical term for. The audience goes insane.

After the first few minutes, Seokjin doesn't talk much. He watches all the performances with full concentration, and only offers Jungkook his opinion between shows. It's different from being with Jimin and Taehyung - Seokjin never has anything rude to say about anyone on stage. And it's not like he's being polite or something - he genuinely seems to like all of them. Taehyung, on the other hand, will announce that he hates the band/soloist three seconds into the performance, and, worst of all, will somehow conjure an actual reason for it that even makes sense to Jungkook. Jimin is generally mild with his words, but he does yawn a lot. And check his watch. And his phone.

"He was good," Seokjin says, for at least the tenth time, his eyes wide in awe, after a particular singer leaves the stage. He turns to Jungkook. "Don't you think so?"

"Yeah," Jungkook says, and he means it.

Seokjin looks at him with something akin to approval. "It's nice with you. Yoongi and Hoseok keep telling me how every performance sucks. Never a good word to say unless they're facing Taeyang or Beethoven themselves. Damned arts students."

Jungkook smiles at him, and he's surprised by how easily it comes out now. There's something about the lights and darkness and loud music of the place that makes him giddy enough to smile without thinking. "I was just thinking the same," he says.

Seokjin grins back, a bit lopsided.

Someone else takes the stage, and they both turn back. Jungkook feels strangely warm, and it's not just because of the music anymore.

Seokjin decides to walk him home.

Jungkook protests, because he walks home alone every freaking day and is still completely unharmed, but Seokjin won't hear of it.

"I need to see Yoongi, anyway," he says. "It's hardly an issue."

He steps onto the protruding part of the curb that separates the sidewalk from the road and holds his arms out, trying to balance. Then he starts forward, careful, one foot after the other and trying not to fall.

Jungkook blinks. So this is how they're going to do this. He steps onto the curb as well and follows him.

It's harder than he expects. They both trip a couple of times, Seokjin laughing in his mildly disturbing way every time Jungkook does. Very little conversation happens, since they're both so determined to Not Fall, save for their awkward flailing and curses every time they lose their balance.

He's walking on the curb with a final year student. If college doesn't make people crazy, Jungkook doesn't know what does.

"You're in engineering too, right?" Seokjin asks at random.

"Yeah."

"I knew I'd seen you before Hoseok's party. You're the kid who fell asleep in class and woke up to G-Dragon in the middle of a lecture."

Jungkook loses his balance, trips, and stumbles a good few feet into the road. Seokjin laughs.

"I'd finally forgotten about that," Jungkook mutters darkly. Why did he have to bring that up.

"Hey, at least it was G-Dragon, right? A friend of mine forgot to plug in his headphones when he was watching porn."

"Oh. Ouch."

"Ouch," Seokjin agrees, nodding. Another few moments pass in silence. Seokjin trips once. Jungkook snickers, and ends up tripping as well.

At one point, Seokjin starts singing to himself. It's a children's song, one that Jungkook remembers very well because, as annoying as it was, it was addicting. He finds himself bobbing his head to the song as they walk, and he looks up to find Seokjin doing the same. What a sight they must make. They're lucky the streets are so empty.

Suddenly Seokjin stops, mid song. There's an awkward silence.

"Hyung?" Jungkook tries.

"That was your part," Seokjin says.

"Eh?"

"That was where you were supposed to give me backing vocals," he explains, a bit put out. "You missed your cue. You should keep up, Jungkook-ah."

And before Jungkook can say anything he starts again. He has just enough time to have a mild crisis before Seokjin reaches his cue again.

What the heck, is he really expected to sing?

His throat is already clogging up, does he really expect him to sing? If he doesn't, he'll be spoiling the fun, he'll be ruining everything, but words won't leave his throat now, his voice has frozen and sunk somewhere deep inside of him and oh god Seokjin is about to reach the part where he should start but Jungkook is a freaking loser who can't freaking do this -

" - a stylish to-ma-to."

He's a second too late, too high pitched, and probably sounds about ready to bolt, but Jungkook manages a "Tomato!"

Seokjin bobs his head once, enthusiastic, before launching into the rest of the song. "Na na na, I'll be large and juicy!"

"Gulp!"

"Na na na, I'm going to be ketchup!"

"Juice!"

"Na na na, I'm going to dance!"

"Yay!"

"A stylish to-ma-to!"

"Tomato!"

Then he starts right over again.

The third time through the song, Jungkook's heart beat still hasn't calmed, but he's grinning despite himself. His voice has steadied, and he's actually sticking to the tune now. Seokjin adds his own lyrics, makes the tune even wackier, and honestly all Jungkook's backing vocals have to do is repeat the same four words over and over, but he feels so happy. So free. Singing a tomato song of all things, what the heck is wrong with him.

"Your turn," Seokjin says, "You start this time!" and then his elation screeches to a stop.

There's a horrible silence. Seokjin turns to look at him, a bit confused as to why he isn't singing yet, or even saying anything. He must look absolutely horrified, because Seokjin stares. Just stares. Then he smiles gently, like he's saying it's okay, and starts singing once more.

It stops being fun. Seokjin sings with the same amount of energy, but now Jungkook just feels like he's weighing him down. The singing gets more and more half hearted until it dies out completely, and there's no one to blame but himself.

When they finally reach their street, Jungkook, almost by reflex, looks up to the window of 513. The lights are on, as expected. To his surprise Seokjin looks up as well. He narrows his eyes at the window and makes a very rude hand gesture.

Even more surprisingly, the window creaks open a bit, and Yoongi's hand pokes out with an even ruder hand gesture.

"Such love," Seokjin says dryly, stuffing his hand back in his pocket.

"Very romantic," Jungkook agrees.

They shuffle up the stairs in silence. It had been a good day. A great day. Seokjin is an incredible person. And Jungkook just can't sing.

When they reach the fifth floor, Jungkook doesn't know how to say good bye. "Thanks for today, hyung," he decides on at last.

Seokjin seems startled. "You're not joining us?" he asks, pointing to Yoongi's door.

Jungkook smiles and shakes his head. Seokjin doesn't look pleased, but he lets him go.

It was a tomato song. A damned tomato song. Jungkook has sung it so many times, could sing it in his sleep if he needed to, and yet, he'd frozen up. Completely.

He looks down at his hands - sure enough, they're shaking.

"Jungkookie," Hoseok starts slowly. His voice is quiet, more serious than usual. "You can't stay here this late."

"It's not that late," Jungkook mumbles, even though his eyes are burning. He's curled up in his spot under the counter with his laptop, the cursor blinking at him threateningly. Like it's mocking him.

"It's four in the morning," Hoseok says. "At least I get paid for this. All you get is a messed up sleep schedule."

"Why sleep when you can succumb to education," Jungkook says, and then feels like he should put that on a t-shirt. He rubs his eyes. "Don't tell me that it's late, hyung," he says. "Then I'll start feeling sleepy."

"You are sleepy, Jungkook-ah. You're just too dumb to realize it."

Wise words from a wise person. He knew he liked Hoseok for a reason. "I think you're right," he says, the burning in his eyes a more pressing matter now. 4AM. How did he not realize he's been here so long?

"Is this due tomorrow?" Hoseok asks, nodding towards the file open on his laptop.

"No," Jungkook says miserably.

"Then why are you still awake?"

"I won't get motivation to work on it later."

"You don't seem to be working on it now."

Jungkook's throat goes dry. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah."

"Jungkookie?"

Jungkook doesn't say anything for a moment. "I'm wasting my life," he says at last.

There's a moment of silence, a terribly awkward moment, but Jungkook isn't looking at Hoseok anymore. He's too concerned by how true that statement is. He hadn't even realized that it was so late, and yet, he's done nothing worthy of all that time. Besides probably overstaying his welcome with Hoseok.

Suddenly Hoseok is in front of him, crouching down to look at him. "Hey," he says, pulling his laptop out of his grasp. Jungkook panics, trying to hold on to it, but Hoseok shushes him. "You've worked enough today."

"I didn't," Jungkook says, panic rising, reaching out for his laptop. "Really, hyung, I didn't, there's nothing even written on the page - "

Hoseok holds a finger to his lips. He presses save on the screen and closes it, stuffing it away in Jungkook's backpack. "Letting you stay this long was bad enough," he says. "You're freaking exhausted."

"I'm not," Jungkook says weakly. "I'm fine, I just..."

"Jungkook?"

"I just hate this. All of this," and then his voice cracks and he stops, because he's scared he might cry. He can't understand anything, he's going to fail and have to repeat, and he's going to fail then too because he still won't understand, and then he'll just be stuck in the first year forever until his parents run out of money and have to throw him out onto the streets -

"Hey," Hoseok cuts in, more firmly this time. Jungkook takes a shaky breath and meets his eyes. Hoseok's face shows nothing except an uncharacteristic sternness. "Jungkook, you need sleep. This'll feel better in the morning."

Feel better, he said. Not be better. Jungkook isn't sure why that strikes him so hard, but the words ring in his head, too honest, too terrible.

"I hate this," he repeats, and he doesn't think Hoseok can hear. He doesn't think Hoseok will understand. Hoseok, J-Hope, who probably never for a moment hates his work. Jimin, who never had to try being anyone other than who he was. Yoongi, who has music. Who is music. Who shouts out his presence to anyone who will listen and is so unafraid, so ready for anything, so so unlike Jungkook. "I hate this."

I hate myself, is what he means. Hoseok pulls him towards himself, shushing him, and Jungkook still doesn't think he understands.

He doesn't wake up in time for class the next day.

He only rolls out of bed well past noon, somewhat unsure of where he is and why there is sunlight streaming through his window. Where have the curtains gone? He doesn't remember taking them down. This is why he shouldn't let Jimin and Taehyung into his room.

It takes a moment for him to properly sort out the difference between moving forward, backward, and trying not to fall, and somehow he makes it to the door. It's so bright. Why is it so bright.

He doesn't remember coming back to his room at night. His stomach flips at the thought - he was at the department store, making a complete and utter fool of himself, and then...what?

There's no one out in the corridors. Everyone is either out or in class, or, if they're like Min Yoongi, have just fallen asleep. Jungkook stumbles towards the bathroom, still unable to shake off the feeling of discomfort that comes whenever his brain manages to wipe out a couple of hours of his life. Did Hoseok bring him home? Unlikely, he would have remembered that. He only ever forgets time when he's alone, so he must have made it back alone. He usually has a pretty strong grip on reality when he's around friends. Friend. Whatever.

He splashes water on his face, the haze in his brain clearing a bit. The vaguest bit of what happened yesterday starts to return to him - yeah, he'd come back alone. Hoseok had insisted on calling someone and he'd made a run for it.

The way back is a blank though. Jungkook really has to do something about this spacing out thing.

When he goes back to his room, he falls back on the bed and scrolls through his messages. It's the usual, Taehyung and Jimin texting him about nothing in particular, and Hoseok asking if he made it home safely. Followed by a never mind, I asked Yoongi to check. Which is honestly more creepy than it is touching.

Speaking of Yoongi.

Jungkook rolls to one side of his bed, turning upside down to reach under it. He tugs out the thick cardboard box where he keeps his art stuff and pulls out the file on top. The file is bulging, too thick with all the odd sketches and paintings Jungkook has stuck in it, but he knows his way around it easy enough to snatch out what he's looking for in less than two seconds.

The human mind. Black because it's throwing everything else out. Now that he looks at his painting he can tell that it's getting somewhere. Not close yet. But somewhere.

He puts his phone on silent, ignores the rest of his classes for today, and starts to paint. He's so into it, so lost to the rest of the world that he doesn't notice when a piece of paper slips under his door. It's only much, much later, when Jimin is banging on the door to be let in, that he sees it.

A paper torn from a notebook, with two tickets stapled to it. Jungkook doesn't recognize the name of the concert, but the location is on campus.

And a short note: Bring a friend.