He needs to order textbooks.

For Jungkook, this is one of the worst things about the start of a semester. He's never liked ebooks much, but most of the time he has to make do with them - textbooks are freaking expensive, the library only ever has some of the ones that he wants, and second hand stores run out of stock like water.

He has his phone on under his desk, scrolling through prices while the lecturer drones on, trying to figure out what he can afford and what he can't. It doesn't look very promising - he could probably buy himself a new soul with the amount of money he'd have to waste. He locks his phone and stuffs it in his desk, turning his attention back to the board.

That gets old pretty quickly and he reaches for his phone again, deciding to check a different shopping site.

He doesn't have lab today, so he can stop by the library after class and see if they have anything. And he should text Taehyung and ask if they can go to the second hand book shop off campus. It might be too late already to find what he needs, but it's worth a shot.

He locks his phone again, settling for doodling over his notes.

He has been texting Taehyung, now and then, but he hasn't actually seen him much. It's his own fault - he isn't too comfortable with Jimin yet, and he doesn't want to hang out with Taehyung alone because that'll just make it obvious that he's avoiding Jimin.

They both apologized to each other already. Things should be fine, but it doesn't feel like they are. He can't talk to Jimin without the notion that he's doing something wrong, that Jimin is just putting up with him and doesn't actually want to.

He starts typing out a message to Taehyung, but backtracks at the last minute. He'll check the library first.

When the bell rings, he puts his stuff away and follows the crowd out the door.

The streets aren't very empty, seeing as it's midday, and there are all sorts of people huddled in groups - laughing on the sidewalks, sitting on the curbs, living college lives the way that's probably normal. He passes them all, and strangely, it doesn't make him feel alone like it usually does. He feels like he's in a different world from everyone else, and like it's safer that way.

The library is half full, but it's quiet. He pulls out his phone to find the list of books he needs and wanders through sections, trying to find where to start looking.

He recognizes Namjoon across the room. He's sitting alone at a table, wearing glasses that Jungkook has never seen him in before and reading something on his laptop. Jungkook stares a moment too long and Namjoon looks up to smile at him.

Jungkook waves back, and they both go about their own businesses.

He searches for what seems like hours. He checks the library catalogue, which tells him precisely where to look, but it does him no good because all the books have been messed up and arranged in the wrong places.

It takes too much of his life, but finally, finally, he strikes gold.

A piece of gold, at least. It isn't one of his prescribed textbooks, but it's been listed under references, and honestly that's better than nothing at all. He'll just look through his syllabus and see if enough stuff matches.

He's about to sit in his usual spot, between shelves, when he glances up at Namjoon again.

He stares for a second.

Before he can think for too long, he goes up to his table, standing behind the chair across from him. "Can I sit here?"

It comes out a bit shakier than he'd have liked, but Namjoon gives him another smile. "You don't need to ask."

Namjoon, he decides, is a good, kind soul.

He seems to be working pretty sincerely, so Jungkook doesn't want to bother him. He flips through his book quietly, comparing the contents with his syllabus. It all adds up pretty well - he might be in luck after all.

...he has one book, out of five. Who is he kidding.

He sighs, dropping his head on the massive textbook and wondering why life sucks so much.

"Something wrong?" Namjoon asks him, without even looking away from the screen. It somehow makes it easier to answer.

"I'm trying to get textbooks," he admits. "I think I need to be rich."

Namjoon hums, thinking. "You're doing - engineering, right?"

"Yeah."

"I think Seokjin will still have his? He never sells them."

Jungkook sits bolt upright, a light bulb going off in his head. Why, what, how could he not have thought of that before. "Hyung," he says, with all the emotion he's capable of, "You're a genius."

Namjoon smiles again.

It's a bit awkward standing outside Seokjin's door.

Seokjin himself won't be a problem. They've been in touch - he texted Jungkook a couple of days ago, telling him that his professor refused to extend the deadline and that he was doomed, and then again an hour ago, when Jungkook asked him if he had the books he needed and Seokjin said yes. But Hoseok - he hasn't seen Hoseok since the disaster they called a dinner party, and he's been too scared to text him. Hoseok hasn't texted him either.

At first he thought it wasn't a big deal - it's not like they ever text each other a lot - but now, standing outside his door, Jungkook is worried that he might have been mistaken and that Hoseok is actually pissed.

It's a Friday, so he won't have work. If Jungkook is lucky, really lucky, then he'll still be in the dance studio, but if he isn't...

He knocks on the door.

There's shuffling inside, and the door opens. Because it's old news that Jungkook's luck sucks, Hoseok stands in the doorway.

He blinks at Jungkook for a long second. "Oh," he says.

Jungkook regrets everything immediately.

Maybe Hoseok catches something on his face, because his eyes widen and he waves Jungkook in. "Come in, come in," he says, still looking a bit worried. "You're here for Jin?"

"Yeah," Jungkook says, hesitating to follow. He looks around, hoping Jin will hurry and fall from the roof. Quickly. He doesn't know why Hoseok is acting so weird - maybe he's mad that Jungkook didn't stay for dinner. Or that he got yelled at by Yoongi because of him. Or that Jungkook kicked up a fuss where there was absolutely no need to.

...come to think of it, there's a lot of reasons for him to be mad.

"Is that Jungkookie?" Seokjin's voice rings out from somewhere. Probably the bedroom. Followed by another lower, tell tale voice that gives him a sense of deja vu -

"Jungkook is here?"

Yoongi. What luck.

"Yeah," Hoseok calls back. He turns back to Jungkook. "I'll be back, just a second," he says, and disappears into the kitchen.

He's left alone in the main room, the photos on the wall staring at him from all directions. Usually he'd just come in on his own and sink into one of the bean bag chairs, but now, with how Hoseok is acting, Jungkook has a bad feeling that he isn't welcome here anymore. He stands awkwardly in the doorway. Once he gets his books he'll just thank Seokjin and flee.

Seokjin emerges at last, with two books tucked under his arm. He gives Jungkook a strange look when he sees him standing.

"You can sit, you know," he reminds him. He plunks the books on the coffee table and turns back to the bedroom. "I need to dig around for the rest, hang on a bit."

He disappears again.

To make things a bit less awkward, Jungkook settles on a bean bag and pulls out his phone. Half of the people he texts are in the room, and he's trying not to text the other half, so he ends up scrolling up and down through his apps, swiping left and right, just for the sake of something to do.

Someone enters the room again, plunking a cup of ice cream down on the coffee table in front of him. When he looks up, Hoseok is standing there.

"Here," he says, a bit unnecessarily. "I bought this for you."

Jungkook blinks. "...um."

"I'm so sorry," Hoseok continues in a rush. He looks terribly earnest, terribly worried. "I was wrong to put you on the spot like that - god it was so rude to ask you to sing, I wasn't thinking straight, and I felt so bad afterwards and wanted to apologize but I didn't think you'd want to see me so I didn't follow you outside - "

"Hyung, what, no," Jungkook cuts in, holding his hands out in a way to say please calm down. "You don't need to apologize, I just overreacted." Hoseok wouldn't have pushed him into doing something he wasn't comfortable with - if Jungkook had said no he would have moved on to his next target. He smiles, sheepish. "I actually thought you were mad at me."

Hoseok looks thrown. "You thought I was mad?"

"...yeah?"

"You thought I was mad."

"...yeah."

Hoseok turns urgently from side to side, searching for someone to share his dismay with, but both Yoongi and Seokjin are out of sight. He settles for locking eyes with the front door. "How could he think I was mad?" he demands to it.

The door doesn't respond.

"Jungkook-ah," Hoseok starts seriously, sinking into the bean bag next to him. "I thought you hated me for life. When Yoongi and Jimin blew up I thought you'd hate me even in the afterlife. God, you should have seen Yoongi. I thought he was going to kill me."

Jungkook had seen him, actually, and he did look pretty murderous. "He would have been happy killing anyone," he points out, seeing as he and Jimin had been close to snapping each other's necks.

"I'm his comrade. He should never want to kill me. If I'm gone who'll bail him out of jail?"

"...Jin hyung?"

"Jin, pshhh. He'll be gone way before me."

Jungkook snorts. Hoseok grins.

"But seriously," he says, sobering a bit, "You're not mad? I really am sorry. It was a shitty thing to do."

"It's fine, hyung. It was nothing."

Hoseok frowns. "It was a shitty thing to do," he repeats, voice stern. "Don't argue with me. So here. Have some ice cream." He pushes the cup forward.

It's butterscotch, Jungkook notices. One of his favourite flavours.

"You don't need to - "

"Have some ice cream."

"Okay, okay."

He takes the cup. Hoseok watches with some degree of satisfaction.

"Found it," Seokjin announces, coming back with another two books under his arm. He plunks them on the coffee table as well. "How are you going to carry these home?"

Jungkook stares at the pile thoughtfully. It isn't too bad. It'll be a pain, for sure, but he's had to carry worse.

"I'll send Yoongi with you," Seokjin says anyway, patting him on the shoulder.

There's a muffled sound of indignation from the other room. "Just admit you hate having me here and get it over with already."

"I hate having you here," Seokjin calls back obligingly.

"You don't have to go now," Hoseok insists, turning to Jungkook. "You haven't been here in so long."

"I was here last week, hyung."

"I barely saw you that day. Come on, we'll watch a movie."

While he spent most of last month exclusively in Seokjin's room, he only ever stayed in the main room. Entering the bedroom feels like a terrible invasion of their privacy, even though Hoseok practically drags him in there.

Yoongi is already there, hunched on Hoseok's bed, clicking away on his laptop. When Jungkook enters he raises a hand in greeting. He looks awkward about it, and for some reason that makes Jungkook feel a bit better.

They haven't spoken much since the day Jungkook burst into his room, except for hellos and good byes and did you eat yets.

"Move over," Hoseok demands, poking Yoongi in the shoulder.

Yoongi scowls at him. "Go sit on Jin's bed."

"I'm too young to die," Hoseok says simply. He pokes at Yoongi some more until he grumbles and moves to one end, giving them more place to sit.

Hoseok climbs up and pats the place next to him. Jungkook sits a bit hesitantly, awed when the bed sinks under him. It's so soft. It's so soft he might cry.

Hoseok flips his laptop open. "What sort of movies do you like?" he asks, as he scrolls through his files. The sheer number of movies that he has is incredible.

"Anything," Jungkook says. It's easier if Hoseok picks.

Yoongi shakes his head. "If you let him choose he'll show you some really shitty rom com," he warns. "Like, really shitty."

Hoseok looks offended. "The stuff I show you is beautiful, okay."

Jungkook cracks a smile. "You should see the movies Tae hyung makes us watch," he says, and they both turn to look at him, and it immediately feels weird. "He likes...um. Weird animated stuff. Like...porcupine wars. And dumpling cities. And stuff."

Yoongi snorts. Hoseok seems impressed.

They eventually settle on some superhero movie that neither of them have watched. Seokjin appears momentarily, frowns at the screen like he's judging them, and then disappears to the other side of the room. His bed is covered in piles and piles of papers and books, and he looks horribly stressed out. It's a mark of how much work he has to do that he isn't bustling around in the kitchen trying to feed them all.

A few minutes into the movie, Jungkook doesn't feel awkward at all. Hoseok laughs too loud and claps when he's excited, getting disapproving but resigned looks from both Seokjin and Yoongi. He gets wide eyed and goes OH at the slightest plot twist. The movie is average and sort of lame, but Jungkook actually finds himself interested because his senior's enthusiasm is contagious.

They're at a failure of a touching scene when Yoongi suddenly tears his headphones off. "Play that again," he orders.

What.

Hoseok doesn't even look surprised. He rewinds a bit and hits play once more. Yoongi listens hard, looking like he wants to set something on fire with his eyes.

"Again."

Hoseok obliges. Jungkook feels like he's missing something.

"Brilliant," Yoongi says, out of nowhere. "Brilliant, brilliant."

And then he's up in a second, gathering up his laptop and fleeing the room.

"Um."

"Ignore him," Hoseok says easily, pressing play again. "He gets a bit weird when he has ideas. The music track must have got to him."

Jungkook can honestly relate. He's the same when ideas drop on his head from nowhere. He stares at the bedroom doorway for a while, as if Yoongi is suddenly going to appear, but he can't see anything from here. He doesn't know where he's disappeared to.

He tries to focus on the movie again, but his attention is more taken by the background music now, as he tries to figure out what might have inspired Yoongi so much. It doesn't sound that impressive to him, but maybe there's something he's missing. He listens carefully, completely forgetting to read the subtitles and completely missing the plot. While Hoseok oohs and aahs at all the action scenes, Jungkook just listens, until he starts to drift off, the music still whirling in his head.

When he wakes up, the room is dark.

For a second Jungkook doesn't know where he is or what direction he's facing. There's someone in the bed with him, fast asleep, and he blinks at them. It's not Jimin, or Taehyung, it's...

Hoseok?

Right. Right. He's in Hoseok's room.

A glance to his other side tells him that Seokjin is asleep as well, on his own bed. He feels a pang of guilt for forcing Hoseok share with him, but his senior seems pretty comfortable. He doesn't even stir as Jungkook sits up, completely dead to the world.

Yoongi isn't here.

Jungkook blinks the sleep out of his eyes, rubbing at them with the back of his hand. He fumbles around for his phone - it's four in the morning. Did Yoongi leave already? It would make sense if he did, but somehow Jungkook doubts it.

There's nowhere else to sleep - Hoseok and Jin don't have a couch, and from the looks of it Jin doesn't let anyone touch his bed. Maybe Yoongi fell asleep on the bean bags?

He rubs at his eyes some more, until he trusts that he can walk out of the room without falling over, and then wanders out.

The light in the main room is off, but the kitchen is lit up. Yoongi is sitting on the floor (which must be cold as hell, it's tiled) with his back resting against the counter, eyes wide with sleep deprivation as he clicks away on his laptop. When he sees Jungkook he startles, pulling his headphones off.

"Jungkook?"

"It's four AM, hyung," Jungkook mumbles, regretting it the moment he says it. Yoongi is practically a nocturnal animal - like he'll care that it's four AM. Even though he should. "I...uh. I was just wondering if you had place to sleep."

Yoongi seems surprised. Then realization dawns on his face. "Ah, Jin isn't that uptight," he says. "He'd move over if I asked him to. Don't worry, go back to sleep."

He's already pulling his headphones back on, considering the conversation closed. There's a strange, terrifying energy about him, the kind that Jungkook has only seen in his videos online. The kind he gets when he's actively making something.

It's fascinating to see up close.

Jungkook doesn't move, itching to just watch whatever Yoongi is doing. He can't hear what it sounds like - he can only see the vague blocks that make up the track on screen, but there's something magical about it, about the way Yoongi is leaning into it like nothing else exists, about how it's starting to take shape and form something that Jungkook knows, without even hearing it, will sound like the pure, unadulterated truth. He feels like he's privy to something secret. Something hidden.

"Go to sleep," Yoongi repeats, not even looking up at him.

"Can I..." Jungkook starts. Rubs his face some more. "Can I watch you?"

Yoongi looks even more surprised. He opens his mouth, then closes it. "I can't unplug my headphones," he says at last. "I need them to work. So you won't be able to hear anything."

"That's okay," Jungkook says, sliding down to the floor next to him. He pulls his arms and legs in, curling up, and rests his chin on his knees as he stares at Yoongi's screen.

"Suit yourself," Yoongi says dryly, and continues like Jungkook isn't there. It's a good feeling. He feels like he's floating between existing and not, less aware of himself and more aware of how the blocks on the screen seem to be growing, growing, and forming patterns and designs that make some sense to him, on a level that shouldn't belong in his head.

Yoongi doesn't talk once, except to suddenly call himself a total fool. Jungkook doesn't mind.

The spell never breaks.

The only problem with showering at ungodly hours of the day is that it's always so freaking cold afterwards.

On the bright side, he can take as much time as he wants. No one else showers past midnight, so no one comes banging on the door demanding he get out like they would if he tried this in the morning. Jungkook probably adds a heck to the dormitory water bill, with how often he zones out in the shower, but, well. It's not like he means to do it.

When he turns off the water, he's already shivering. His shower was so warm and nice and now he has to come out and freeze. He pulls on his clothes before the chill gets too much - long sleeved, oversized, nice and thick and soft. His only plan for today is to sleep and sleep and be completely comfortable about it.

The corridor is silent as he makes it back to his room. There are still a few lights on, but the people still awake are quiet about it. He shuts his door softly and towels at his hair, but it gets boring pretty quickly and he tosses it to the side. Sleeping with wet hair for a day won't kill him.

He curls up under the thick covers and for the first time all day, he feels so good. There's something about being clean and surrounded by soft fabric that puts him at complete ease. The head ache of classes and lab and dealing with his godforsaken lab partner all fade away, hazing over in his sleep, and everything is so soft and he's content. He'd be content to stay in bed forever.

The door creaks open.

Jungkook blinks, tilting his head to look up, but he doesn't panic. Maybe his brain already knows who it would be, maybe he's too sleepy to react. It takes him a moment to fight the haze and recognize the figure in the doorway.

It's Jimin.

It's dark, but he can tell that the older boy is exhausted. His hair is all over the place - the way it gets when he's been rolling around in bed, and he's slumping too much. He shuts the door behind him and joins Jungkook on the bed, nestling on half of his pillow.

This isn't anything new. Jimin has trouble sleeping too often. Jungkook is not usually his first choice - he basically lives in Taehyung's room, after all - but it isn't anything out of the ordinary.

But now, after Jungkook has been avoiding him for so long, it feels...odd.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Jimin whispers. Jungkook doesn't know why he's whispering. "Go back to sleep."

Jungkook lifts the covers a bit to let Jimin crawl underneath and then pulls it over both of them. Then he turns again, facing away from Jimin, and shuts his eyes.

The comfort from earlier is starting to fade - he's suspicious. Is Jimin here to fix their friendship? Did he realize Jungkook was wary of him? Or is he honestly just there because he couldn't sleep alone?

The minutes tick by. The silence is unnaturally loud. His pillow is becoming damp from his wet hair.

"I'm keeping you awake, aren't I," Jimin mumbles, sounding guilty even in his exhaustion.

"No, it's okay," Jungkook says, and he means it. If Jimin gets the slightest idea that he isn't happy with him being there he'll leave, and probably won't sleep all night. "I just - I'm sorry. Again."

Jimin is quiet. Then he shuffles a bit closer, throwing an arm over Jungkook and pulling him into a back hug. Jungkook tenses.

"Jungkook-ah," Jimin whispers, and why are they whispering, it makes the darkness so much louder, "You know you're my best friend, right?"

Jungkook says nothing.

"Tae said - he said you thought I don't think you can handle stuff," Jimin says. "He said you think I never told you about how I felt, when you guys got into that fight, is because I didn't think you could handle me throwing a fit."

"Isn't that true?" Jungkook asks. It's a strange position to have a conversation in. He can only see the darkness ahead of him, nothing of Jimin himself. Jimin's voice leaves a tingling sensation at the back of his neck.

"It's not," Jimin says. "It's - I don't not think you can handle it, I didn't want you to have to handle it. People don't - they don't like me, Kook-ah. Do you know how that feels? To be surrounded by people who hate you?"

His voice cracks a bit, and it hurts something in Jungkook's chest. "I don't," he whispers back. Jungkook has never been liked much, he's never had many friends, but he's never had to deal with what Jimin goes through. He's never had people outright want to hurt him for everything he did - to always be watching, watching, for one wrong move.

Jungkook is rarely watched at all. He's always been invisible.

"It's hard," Jimin says, still cracked, and Jungkook is afraid he's going to start crying. He doesn't know what to do if he does. "And I - I don't want you to feel like that, you know? I don't want you to ever think I hate you. Or that anyone does. You're - you're my best friend, Kook-ah, and Yoongi was treating you like shit, and I just wanted him to stop."

Jungkook bites his lip. They both overreacted that day, fired with too many emotions, and the mess that they're in now is...unnecessary. Jimin has done so much for him - he's practically kept him alive this past year. Jungkook doesn't know where he'd be if he hadn't met him. Can't even think about it. He's always been there for him, always, and Jungkook just - wants to be there for him too. Wants Jimin to be able to rely on him, instead of always having to take care of him. He wants to deserve their friendship, not be dead weight.

There are so, so many things he wants to convey, but he's never been good with words, so he keeps staring straight into the darkness, Jimin breathing harshly behind him. He wonders how other people speak. How they learn to get emotions across. He wonders if it'll always be so hard.

"You're my best friend too, hyung," he says at last, and it's still so weird not seeing his face. "I just...I don't want you to have to hide things from me. I can take it. I'm not...I'm not weak."

The words seem to hang in the air, like a huge weight taken off his shoulders. It's different, saying it aloud. To demand that people admit it's true. Because Jungkook isn't, he doesn't want to be. He really meant every word he said to Yoongi that day - that he doesn't want to live like this, that he needs to be better.

"I'm sorry," Jimin says, and Jungkook is almost sure that he's crying.

"I'm sorry too."

And they stay like that, wide awake in the dark, all attempts at sleep forgotten.