Chapter 3: you grow; you roar
"Honestly, I think it's a bad idea."
"I'm with sugar on this one, Sawamura. You think it'll get better, but you could just push them farther from each other."
"It's a risk, I know, but all of us saw the brain scans, too. For that one microsecond..."
"Yeah, a microsecond. Are you listening to yourself talk? You're going to force them back together because of a microsecond."
"Daichi, please reconsider."
The three stood around the center table of the test pod control room with a scattering of graphs and printouts spread across the table. Michimiya's arms were crossed and she was shaking her head, while Daichi gestured at one of the graphs and Koushi covered his mouth, face pinched in thought. Daichi looks between the two of them and then steps back, hands up in an attempt to mollify his companions.
"Okay, okay, let me start from the top. If nothing else, at least we know why Hinata had so much trouble Drifting with another person. Well, in theory anyway. We always thought his erratic brain waves were just his unique reaction to the Drift and fine for him, but since at that moment, they slowed and synchronized with Kageyama's, we know he's doing something wrong. Don't you think if we present this information to him, he'd want to give it another shot?"
"That level of unity between them still gives me the creeps," Michimiya grumbles. "It's way stronger than it should be, nothing natural about that much synchronization, especially between two people who hated each other up until a day ago."
"What Daichi is really missing, though," Koushi jumps in, "is the other side of that moment." He brings up another graph. "Hinata started going after the memory, which is dangerous enough, but Kageyama jumped them out of the Drift way too fast to be due to fear for their safety. You remember what happened when I chased the R.A.B.I.T., right Daichi? How it felt?"
Daichi nods, troubled. "Since our minds were one, I started to go after it, too. Luckily I pulled us out in time, but it took a while to figure out. Kageyama's reaction is way too fast, even for a prodigy."
"He must have recognized the memory. It was one of his," Koushi murmured.
Daichi nods. "That's right. It has to be pretty bad to cause him to rip them out of the Drift immediately, though."
Michimiya sighs and presses a hand to her forehead. "And to think he lied right to Hinata's face about it too..."
Daichi shifts. "Well...I probably shouldn't say this, but I did talk to Kageyama about the memory. It's definitely his, and...Suga, I think it was the one I read about in his file. If that's the one, I worry he'll never let anyone back in his head."
"And yet you want them to test Drift again?" Michimiya can deal with not knowing classified information like she has since she started working at the base, but she cannot tolerate recklessness, especially from someone like Daichi, and especially with something as dangerous as Drifting. "I thought you knew better than to make thoughtless decisions."
"The point I'm trying to make is that if Hinata can keep his brain waves from going haywire with whatever he's doing, he can probably control himself from chasing the rabbit and help Kageyama get through the memory," Daichi explains. His companions regard the idea thoughtfully.
"That's not an impossible outcome, although Hinata is still inexperienced at this," Michimiya offers. "But if Drifting really does come naturally to him like all other pilots, he should be okay."
"One more thing we have to consider," Koushi adds. "Just why was Hinata rushing so much instead of holding steady like everyone else?"
"Maybe he just never had anything worth looking at before," Daichi murmurs, and Koushi and Michimiya fix him with intense stares. He shrugs, and they exchange glances.
"Okay," Michimiya relents. "We'll let them give it another chance. But Sawamura, if things go bad, things go bad."
"Got it," he agreed.
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Daichi and Koushi approach them with idea a few days later.
They're back to sharing a room, although Hinata sleeps on the couch, and raises his metaphorical hackles whenever Kageyama is in the same room as him. What's even more depressing to the pair is that Kageyama doesn't even fight; he just sulks and stays out of Hinata's way, like he knows what he's done wrong but refuses to try and fix it. When they bring up the test Drift, for a second Daichi is sure Hinata will slam the door in their faces, and Kageyama visibly winces.
But Koushi jumps in and explains, talks about the scans, about how Hinata can actually do it, and that he believes they can come to an understanding if they truly see each other. Hinata still looks dubious, but his curiosity about his Drifting ability overrides his current hatred of Kageyama. Koushi knows it's not fair—baiting him with a challenge—and Kageyama's dark look confirms his suspicions, but he wants to try. Kageyama agrees to a redo before Hinata can, and, furious, Hinata consents.
The walk back to the test Drift is an awkward and painful one. Hinata and Kageyama are both unapproachable messes, and Koushi feels it would be rude of him to talk to Daichi like nothing's wrong. There's relief all around when they arrive, only to have the tension heightened when they step in the room. Michimiya wisely chooses a pod on the other side of the room, and the two newbies allow themselves to be tugged into place without complaint. They do not look at each other.
When Hinata relaxes once more and finds himself in the in-between, he nearly severs the connection then and there. But now that he's felt this place, attached to Kageyama, he knows what he feels like. And he can sense Kageyama out there, lingering, not wanting to draw closer. Asshole, Hinata seethes. Throwing me under the bus just to make yourself look better, then flinch away when we connect? Coward. He marches up to Kageyama, who doesn't move in the slightest. Hinata sighs in irritation and prods at Kageyama's consciousness. He doesn't really want to connect with him, but he finally rests his presence against Kageyama's.
What do you think you're doing? Hinata hisses. We've got a job to do, and if you won't, then I will.
Don't. Kageyama's voice sounds kind of far away to Hinata. Don't touch my memories and the Drift will work.
Some trust you have. Can't say I'm surprised at this point, though.
...
Whatever, just do it. I won't chase the rabbit.
He's quicker this time in finding Hinata, and Hinata doesn't bother with putting up much of a fight. He wants this done and over with. They are two and then...they are one. The kaleidoscope of memories isn't identical to the previous one, but it's still far-reaching and intense, the overlay of two lives at once. Hinata keeps his word. He does not look too hard at Kageyama, though he can feel the other watching him. He doesn't rush the flood, but he doesn't try and stop it.
He feels fine for a while, but then he feels Kageyama stir. A certain memory catches his attention in the lazy way that lets him know it is not his own interest, but another's—an experience that can only be felt by those in the Drift. Kageyama is looking. Hinata bothers to pay attention, and is surprised to see himself as a high-schooler, and Natsu...Natsu is with him and he laughs and spins her around. He feels the touch of interest probe a little deeper at the memory, not him, but Kageyama, and he rears up in disbelief. The Drift collapses immediately, and this time he doesn't tumble, but falls straight out of the sky, and wakes with a gasp, Kageyama gasping with him.
This time, Hinata doesn't wait for the entourage. He rips the helmet from his head, practically foaming at the mouth. "How dare you," he hisses, fury rising under his skin. "How dare you peek into my memories when you refuse to let me even glance at yours. What gives you the right?"
Kageyama, at least, looks appropriately ashamed. "I was trying to help," he mutters. "I thought...maybe if it was a happy memory...you would ease into it. That was the one I felt first, so..."
Hinata shakes his head, but the anger has dissipated and he just feels hollow. "You know, Kageyama, at first I agreed with you. I thought I would hold us back in the Drift. I thought you would leave me behind because I was a burden, and so I worked hard to become an equal in your eyes. But really..." He narrows his eyes.
"You're the one holding me back, aren't you?"
Kageyama snaps his head to look at Hinata so fast, Hinata believes for a moment that it will fly right off. "Is that so," he snarls. "May I remind you who got us into this situation in the first place? If you had just let that memory slip away like all the others instead of sticking your nose into other people's business, everything would have been fine!" He stands up, and Hinata matches him.
"You aren't 'other people', you bastard," Hinata stalks over to him. "You're supposed to be my partner! You're supposed to trust me!"
Kageyama gets in his space, forcibly shoving him back. "I'm supposed to trust you? I need to trust you? Are you stupid? What do you think I was doing, letting you get anywhere near that memory, even letting you into my head?! I trusted you to Drift like a proper pilot, not chase after a part of me that just happened to catch your attention!"
Hinata pushes back. "You're so full of shit, I can't even believe it. I felt your fear! You threw me out of the Drift, and it wasn't to save me, it was to protect you. For some reason you don't want anyone near that part of you, and you'll never trust anyone enough to let them see it."
They separate before anyone even interferes, turning their backs on each other. The techs are quick with their removal, and the two part ways swiftly, without acknowledging the other pilots or Michimiya. None of them have the heart to tell them they held perfect sync for a good few seconds there.
There is one more Drift attempt, and Hinata and Kageyama don't even make it past the in-between.
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Michimiya might be at her wits' end, but Daichi is not. He pulls a discouraged Koushi to the side a week after the final Drift attempt and gives him a concerned once-over.
"Hey," he says softly. "You're not looking too well. Are you feeling okay?" Daichi knows, he already knows how exhausted Koushi is, mentally and physically, just by touching him, but his partner puts on a brave face as always.
"I'm holding myself together pretty well for now. It's just...things were going so well, and now I don't know what to do. What can we do?" Daichi rubs his shoulder comfortingly.
"Well...I have an idea, but it's kind of a long shot, and my instincts may very well be wrong in this case." Koushi looks up.
"At this point, I'm up for anything."
Daichi gives him a half-smile. "That's good, because you happen to be a key player in my plan."
Koushi points at himself innocently.
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Three hours later, and Koushi is knocking at their door again, feeling nervous but also excited.
Kageyama answers this time. He's got dark circles to match Koushi's, and it hits him all at once that it must be hell for them to live together. His resolve hardens. Kageyama eyes him warily and with dismay. Koushi holds his hands up, a peace offering. "No Drifting," he says, and Kageyama's shoulders slump in relief.
Kageyama lets him inside somewhat reluctantly, and Koushi is glad to see that they haven't trashed their quarters or broken anything. It feels cold and abandoned inside the room, but that's probably just the emotional state of its occupants. When he peeks around the corner to the bedroom, Kageyama stops him with a hand. "Hinata's sleeping," he says in a low voice, and Koushi understands that it must not be a common occurrence.
"It's fine if I just talk to you then," Koushi says, and they sit at the table so as not to disturb the redhead.
"Are you finally dropping us?" Kageyama asks with tired resignation as they sit down, like he's been expecting this conversation. Koushi shakes his head and tries to give Kageyama a comforting smile.
"Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. It'd be better if Hinata was here, but I can at least explain the basics to you," he says, and Kageyama regards him with as much interest as an exhausted and depressed man can.
Koushi leans forward. "Kageyama, do you know about the Ghost Drift?"
"...Suga-san?"
Both of them turn to face the source of the sleep-heavy voice. Hinata rubs at his eyes with the sleeve of his oversized night shirt. "When did you get here?" He asks, trudging forward and pulling a third chair over to the table. He sits next to Kageyama reluctantly, but Koushi can tell that the fire from their fight has died down to bitter, hollow embers.
"I just got here," Koushi replies. "And I'm glad that you can be here for the explanation. You've had it rough lately, and I know that's a wound you don't want to open. I have no intention of bringing anything like that to the table." He gets two looks of tired relief.
"What I want to talk to you two about is the Ghost Drift. I'm sure you've heard rumors."
Kageyama is completely still. "It's nothing good, from the rumors."
Hinata hums in thought. "Well...I've heard that it makes you relive the death of your co-pilot over and over if they're killed in a kaiju attack. But I've also heard that it's kind of a leftover emotional connection that you feel with someone after you've Drifted with them for a while. Kind of like you know where they are or how they're feeling. Isn't it all just some made up sci-fi legend?"
Koushi shakes his head, and then he knows he has the attention of both newbies. "Hinata is right on both accounts. But there's a lot more to it than that. For example," he tilts his head slightly and feels for Daichi along the bond, smiling when he gets feedback. "Daichi is pacing in the biology labs again, and he's wondering how this meeting is going. He's worried that you two will react badly to the Ghost Drift or that he's wrong that you've felt it before."
Hinata's eyes light up. "Do you really have a psychic connection with Daichi-san, Suga-san?"
Kageyama is more perceptive. "What do you mean we've felt it before?"
Koushi smiles. "Let me start at the beginning. You're right about one thing; the Ghost Drift is a byproduct of actual Drifting. It starts as just an emotional residue from a particularly strong connection, but the more you Drift, the tighter and more prominent the bond becomes. With four years of Drifting...well, Daichi and I would probably absorb each other's characteristics, or have good intuition about where to find each other, maybe even feel exact emotions."
Hinata cocks his head to the side. "But you just told us exactly where Daichi-san is and what he's doing and feeling."
"Right," Koushi nods. "If we did nothing, we would have had the aforementioned traits no matter what. It's a pretty weak version, but it's still the Ghost Drift. However, Daichi and I have strengthened our bond through the Ghost Drift. It needs practice, like a muscle. At first you'll only be able to feel simple things, like emotions and intentions, thoughts that stand out. But with practice, even things like telepathy outside of the Drift and seeing through each other's eyes isn't impossible. Well, so I've heard. Daichi and I aren't anywhere near that kind of connection."
Hinata makes an 'ohhhh' sound in awe, but Kageyama crosses his arms. "As much as this is an interesting lecture, I have a feeling you came here for more than just that. And you didn't answer my question, either."
Koushi nods. "Well, from what Daichi has told me, Kageyama, you felt strange emotions after...that...that you didn't feel were your own. In the same way, Hinata, you told me that you had conflicting feelings without a source that were giving you a migraine when you came to me for pain pills."
It clicks in Kageyama's head. "You think we have a connection like you and Daichi-san," he murmurs.
"Fairly certain," Koushi agrees. "Which is strange, considering how little you've Drifted. It may have something to do with your time in the Kwoon Room—there's something about that place that really brings people together."
"We're not—" Hinata starts, and Koushi holds up a hand.
"I know, I know. There's bad blood between you right now. But if you'll allow me to make one more suggestion." The two nod after a moment, and Koushi continues. "I urge you to probe at the bond, strengthen it if you can. There's a lot both of you have left unsaid, and if you want to heal, you're going to have to understand each other, and I can tell you from experience that a psychic connection makes this infinitely easier. If you don't want to do that, I understand. But at least try playing with the connection. It might come in handy during your stay here, you never know.
"I won't lie to you; it can be a wild ride communicating on two different channels. If you ever need help with anything, you know where Daichi and I will be." He stands up and gives them both a hopeful smile. "There's no real 'right' way to go about understanding the Ghost Drift—it may be a universal phenomenon, but it's different for each pair. Just remember that it is still Drifting, in a way."
With that mysterious statement hanging in the air, he dips his head and bids the two farewell, like he didn't just drop a huge bomb on them.
Hinata is quiet for all of two minutes before he says, "What if Suga-san's right?"
Kageyama jumps a foot in the air—Hinata had spoken to him as minimally as possible since that catastrophic day. "What do you mean, 'what if he's right?'"
"I mean," Hinata huffs and faces Kageyama. "I mean that it could be useful. I don't like you, and I never will, but we have to live together, and we'll probably have to pilot together again, so we might as well have some sort of understanding so we don't go blowing up at each other all the time."
It's a mature response, and Kageyama is somewhat taken aback. Hinata's fixed him with a disgruntled scowl, but he's also resigned, and he doesn't look like he wants to fight. They could continue this feud for the rest of their lives, but they're stuck together for entirety of the conceivable future, so they might as well give it up and try to make the most of their crappy living situation.
Kageyama sticks out his hand tentatively. "Then let's do this the right way. I'm Kageyama Tobio, 21 years old. My goal is to become a Ranger and pilot a Jaeger of my own. I find you unpleasant and self-righteous, but I'm willing to cooperate with you." He mutters the last part and doesn't meet Hinata's eyes, but Hinata takes his hand anyway.
"I'm Hinata Shouyou, 22 years old. I'm going to be the greatest Jaeger pilot in history, protect my family, and bring them happiness again. You're a trustless, two-faced liar, but you're not a bad pilot, so I can live with you I guess." They shake on it, and the atmosphere of the room lightens just a bit.
"Right," Hinata says. "Let's figure this thing out."
They toss around a few ideas for figuring how to even tell if they have a bond, since Koushi left them with an explanation of the phenomenon that was the Ghost Drift, but no instructions on how to utilize it. Both wrack their minds for a method, but in the end, they're both sleep-deprived and not the most book-smart of pilots, and they go for the easiest option. They try to feel out their bond first and foremost by staring each other dead in the eyes until they are dizzy, attempting to communicate an emotion, on the floor of their quarters.
"Is it...exhaustion?" Hinata offers, after thirty long minutes of bad guesses and no results.
"Dumbass," Kageyama sighs, irritated. "You could tell I'm exhausted just from looking at my face." It's not working at all, and Kageyama is beginning to doubt the veterans. No one develops a bond like the Ghost Drift with three pathetic drift attempts that total maybe seven seconds total synchronization.
"It's not much of a royal look," Hinata mutters to himself, but Kageyama's eyes widen, and Hinata knows he heard it.
A few things happen at once. First of all, Hinata scrabbles to get away, realizing his mistake too late. At the same time, Kageyama snaps a hand out, grabbing Hinata by the ankle before he can escape, causing the trapped party to let out a yelp like a wounded animal, and flail in panic. And finally, like a whip out of thin air, the two pilots-in-training are smacked in the face by polar emotions. Kageyama is hit by fully-fledged panic, stunning him into letting Hinata free. And Hinata, rather than taking off, is knocked over by a tidal wave of raw fury tinged with pain, loneliness, and a trace of abandonment.
The two stare at each other for a long moment as the foreign emotions fade. Hinata swallows, looking at Kageyama in a strangely new light. A title like that...isn't something cool at all, then... "What does the title 'king of the base' mean to you?" He asks shakily, and Kageyama immediately breaks eye contact.
"You weren't supposed to feel that," he snaps. "You weren't supposed to know any of that."
Hinata moves closer to Kageyama, despite his lingering fear. "Why do they call you that?" He asks again, this time reaching out to touch Kageyama's ankle out of instinct. Before Kageyama can pull away, his hand connects, and then Hinata is hit with another wave of emotions. It still feels like being rammed by a truck, but he struggles to push through the wave to find what he's looking for. Bravado and superiority...yes he knew that, but underneath...worry that he wasn't good enough, fear that he would become like that man, uncalled for loneliness at being an outcast, and just the fleeting taste of humiliation at having his feelings revealed.
Hinata wrenches his hand away only a moment later, but he's already seen everything. Kageyama is glaring at him, curled away defensively, and Hinata remembers this is a two way street. "Don't you dare feel pity for me," he spits. "I don't need your curiosity or your compassion; I can handle everything on my own just fine."
Hinata looks at his hand in wonder, then to Kageyama, drawing away from him like he was some kind of demon. "No you can't," he murmurs. "You can't do this on your own. I know."
Kageyama snarls wordlessly at him and lunges, before hesitating to touch him. Hinata just looks, because this was not what he was expecting. That cold-hearted, selfish king...he was really just a hard working guy who happened to be a prodigy with a sour personality. He was sure that selfishness and apathy for others would be there if he probed for it, but now Hinata knows that this guy is human. He feels the dregs of hatred drain from him.
"I know," Hinata says again, because this trapped animal act was Kageyama's last line of defense. The last thing he had left to combat someone who could reach into his mind and tell what he was feeling. "Why do you do this to yourself?" He asks sadly, and reaches out once more.
Kageyama shakes his head and leans away, but Hinata pleads with him in his mind, trust me. And maybe Kageyama couldn't hear him, but he hesitates just long enough for Hinata to touch his cheek, and he closes his eyes, focusing on giving rather than taking. There's Kageyama's confusion and weak fear, and then Hinata shows him.
Hinata shows Kageyama his arrival at the base in a blur of emotions: excitement, anxiety, and the barbs of humiliation and sadness that pricked at him with every 'shorty' or 'weak link' name that he was called. But he lets that fade into euphoria at his acceptance, anticipation for the tests, pride, and then...despair. Kageyama winces at that part, the sync scores, they both know it. The exterior of livelihood and happiness, but the aching, deeper part of Hinata that said he was meant for more, but the fear that he couldn't make it from the bottom. A tangle of fear and hope in meeting Suga-san, disbelief and the miraculous emotion of joy that he had never felt until someone said he could be a pilot. Awe at the Shatterdome and their Jaeger, and then...Kageyama.
Interest at first, he was impressed if a bit intimidated, then the fear and...anger. And then that was the rest of it. Variations of irritation, frustration, and anger, mingled with grudging admiration and envy. The feeling of finally beating him...not one of smug victory, but of self-fulfillment. Hinata pulls away after that, because there are some things neither of them want to relive.
Kageyama touches his cheek where Hinata's hand was, and he blinks at him. "You thought I was cool?" He asks, disbelief heavy in his voice.
Hinata flushes bright scarlet and scowls at him. Urgh, he thinks, I got too excited. He wasn't supposed to see that. "I showed you all that, and the only thing you got from it was that I thought you were cool?!"
Kageyama shrugs one shoulder, looking a little embarrassed himself. "No one's ever said something like that to me before." Hinata finds he believes him instantly.
"...Why'd you show me all that?" Kageyama asks quietly. It's Hinata's turn to shrug.
"You act like some kind of gift from god, but I felt your true self. You're really quite human, but it's like you're afraid to be. So I just wanted to show you that you're not weird or anything. I'm a human too."
Kageyama regards him thoughtfully for a moment, and then stands up. "Well, at least we know it's triggered through touch. Ours is probably not strong enough to communicate just through our mind and presence...but it's still pretty strong." He looks intensely annoyed, Hinata thinks, but his curiosity overrides his wariness of Kageyama.
"Again!" Hinata demands. "Let's do it again!"
Kageyama fixes him with a dark look. "Moron, didn't you learn your lesson from what just happened? We have no idea how to put the brakes on this thing. Screwing with the Ghost Drift before we learn to control it is a terrible idea."
Hinata growls in indignation. "You're the moron. How are we supposed to learn how to control it if we don't practice? Besides, I totally had control over it that last time. I didn't get bowled over by your emotions, and I was able to share the feelings in my memories!"
Kageyama's expression, if possible, gets even darker. Letting Hinata get ahead of him in skill...like hell he'd let that happen. "You're gonna get us both killed or decommissioned as pilots," he says as a compromise.
The smirk on Hinata's face tells Kageyama that he can read between the lines. He jumps to his feet, and they share a look of mutual anticipation. Kageyama may be nervous about revealing too much, but regardless of his talent, he's still a newbie, and the idea of playing with a legendary psychic connection is just as exciting to him as it is to Hinata. They bicker over the location to test out their bond—table and floor too uncomfortable; bedroom too intimate—and settle on the couch Hinata had been calling a bed for the past few weeks.
It begins like that—two young pilots, brimming with an excitement reborn after a painful and forced coexistence. They bring nothing of their past quarrels into the bond; only their hopes for the future and the feelings of the now. The power of youth and innocence—Daichi had known this would happen, of course, which is why he suggested the Ghost Drift in the first place. After all, he had once been a rookie, meeting up with his future partner in the Kwoon Room, feeling their bodies and souls clash and meld together in the inescapable bond that was co-piloting. And, he remembers the first time they Drifted outside a Jaeger, Suga's excitement rebounding off his own, the sparks that flew with the first collision of their emotions, and the warmth of Suga's constant presence, both then and now. He had never truly fought tooth and nail with Suga, but he couldn't imagine a fight that would erase the incredible feeling of completely stepping into someone else's mind without the metal and wires separating them.
Kageyama and Hinata might hate each other, but they were compatible, and there was no reason two rivals would not be drawn in by their contrasting psyches.
It's Kageyama's idea to touch very little at first, thinking that a slight and slow physical connection might also slow their emotions. It doesn't work at all, the first time, when they brush fingertips. Kageyama feels like he might be on fire from just that lightest touch, Hinata's desire to make this work is so strong. And Hinata hits a wall that feels to him like hesitation and anxiety, but the only thing he can think of is what is the view on the other side like?
After a few more trials and a sharp rise in Hinata's impatience, Kageyama figures it out. "Hey," he stops Hinata before the other can reach out to him again. Hinata has moved gradually forward and Kageyama further back, but when he leans back in towards Hinata, the other pulls back warily. "I think I've got it." Hinata cocks him head, and Kageyama continues. "This wave I feel every time, isn't that just you being too excitable? Aren't you just forcing your way into my mind, like you always do in the Drift?"
Hinata's eyes widen and he straightens up. "I..."
Kageyama lets out a long sigh and shakes his head. "Dumbass Hinata, you always have way too much energy...let me lead this time too, okay?"
He meets Hinata's eyes and is momentarily surprised to find hostile suspicion in them. Oh...that's right, he remembers. That's what happened last time too, huh. He struggles to find the words to ask Hinata to trust him again, but they die in his throat. They were in this situation in the first place because of trust, after all. Kageyama berates himself for his words, feeling the good atmosphere slowly dry up into the ominous tension that had lain over their quarters since that time.
But Kageyama has forgotten that this is Hinata, and he never reacts according to plan. The suspicion dies into acceptance, and just like that, Hinata holds up his hand again. To Kageyama, it has the feeling of submission and surrender, and yet he still finds himself thinking I do not deserve this. The thought is a foreign one to him, and he's frightened that it even crossed his mind, but he does not give himself or Hinata the chance to reconsider. He presses his full palm to Hinata's, and allows his confusion and mess of emotion to flow to his partner.
Hinata keeps his end of the deal, resisting the urge to feel everything all at once, to prod at the wall of hesitation. His mind watches and feels as Kageyama seals their connection, and the wall flutters down like cloth, so smoothly and cleanly that Hinata can only observe in awe. He can see the other side.
Kageyama's emotions are far more restrained than his own, still curled at the edge of their bond, not really wanting to make the jump. Hinata feels touches of his focus and his determination, his desire to succeed and all other sorts of feelings that Hinata instinctively pulls on, wanting more of a taste. He doesn't like Kageyama, right, but their bond...he wants to know him, to understand the breadth and the power of their connection. A few stray emotions leap around Hinata's mind—irritation, disbelief, frustration—all emotions that he can trace back to Kageyama's thoughts of him. And then the curling wisps of confusion and fear and is that amazement reach Hinata's mind. He feels Kageyama's dilemma, his uncertainty about how to handle Hinata, guilt and relief and then, for a fleeting moment, they are connected.
I don't know how to control myself around you, Kageyama's emotions say. With everyone else I can get by, but you're something else entirely. I want to ignore you or get rid of you, but you're always two steps ahead when I least expect it and I'm frustrated.
Hinata reaches out a little as the link begins to fade, twining his fingers with Kageyama's and physically pulling on him, let me see, let me see. Kageyama relents, and then Hinata runs the edge of his mind against Kageyama's emotions, feeling his true self. He doesn't pry, just feels whatever emotion rises to the surface of Kageyama's mind. Annoyance fades into grudging acceptance and even mild amusement at Hinata's eagerness. There's still a little bafflement at Hinata's trust, and he replies with his own desire to succeed at any cost, and then Kageyama shakes their connection in embarrassment at being caught.
This guy might just be okay, Hinata thinks as the last of their bond drops away.
Of course, then Kageyama (no longer distracted) realizes they're holding hands, of all things, and yanks his hand back, knocking Hinata off the couch in the same movement. Another yelling match ensues, and they're revived from the Drifting failure.
---------------------------------------------
After forgiving each other more or less, however, living together becomes difficult.
Koushi wasn't wrong—being able to communicate just through touch, and so accurately too, was useful, but it also became a problem when the two went about their daily business. Having moved back into his bed, Hinata found that all the accidental bumps or touches between them became amplified exponentially, especially in the morning when they were both too groggy to function properly. Stumbling into each other resulted in mutual surprise and then distaste, doubled across the bond. Simply touching arms while brushing their teeth led to Hinata facing Kageyama's intense focus on that day's activities, and Kageyama being dragged down by Hinata's desire to just eat something already.
Even more of a problem was picking out breakfast. They didn't eat in the mess hall, choosing instead to cook in their tiny kitchenette. Hinata insisted on protein (in the form of eggs with rice and miso) and milk every day, while Kageyama preferred fish and rice. Although he and Kageyama sometimes alternated cooking some for both of them, Kageyama had a bit of a sweet tooth. He took dry, American cereal almost as often as he cooked. That was fine for Hinata, who didn't really care, but it quickly became a problem when Kageyama brushed him while reaching into a cabinet and Hinata felt an urge for that awful cardboard crap that Kageyama called a meal. In the same way, Kageyama glared holes into Hinata's eggs that morning, and they both could only pick at their food.
The Ghost Drift did have its good points, though. They were still tentative about working out together, but the morning runs never really stopped. All it took was Hinata resting a hand at Kageyama's elbow for Kageyama to know what route Hinata wanted to take and how far he could probably run that day. Kageyama, too, sometimes wanted a change from their usual pace, and would nudge Hinata's shoulder to tell him. It was a bit frustrating to Hinata that he couldn't call Kageyama to him when he wanted to spar, but they had both agreed to master touch-communication before they attempted anything like Daichi and Koushi had.
Kageyama had expected the Ghost Drift might result in them cutting off all vocal communication, since emotions and the thoughts they connected to were so much easier to understand, but in actuality, they ended up talking a lot, punctuating complex thoughts or conversations with brief connections to ensure understanding. ("And the first time Kouji and I snuck out of our dorms for more food and we saw our rotation leader was like wahh! terrifying and all, you know? Here, let me—" "Yeah, I got it.")
Kageyama also found himself hanging out more and more with the other pilots. He was loath to ask questions about the Ghost Drift, especially in front of Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, who had jeered at him for relying on something so unnatural to communicate with the one he was supposed to trust with his life. They didn't use it at all, Kageyama found, and when he asked them how they were supposed to understand each other completely in the most crucial moments, Tsukishima just raised an eyebrow and they left without a word.
Koushi, at least, was happy to help. He explained how the rookies had built up a wall between them ("You can do that?" "Don't get any ideas; you can barely function with the aid of the Ghost Drift as it is. Your communication skills suck." "...."), and relied only on intuition and years of partnership to fully understand each other. He also seems pleased with the progress they were making and Daichi was relieved that they could actually speak to one another again, even if they weren't as inclined to be together as before the Drifting incident.
Hinata spent more time with Izumi and Kouji, who had been worried sick about them. He tried to explain the best he could about what went down—almost reaching out to touch Izumi in explanation—but what he really boiled it down to was a big fight with his partner. Hinata found that despite its direct connection, he was really glad that he couldn't Ghost Drift with either of his childhood friends. There was something to be said about building proper relationship skills, and having to explain oneself in words. Kageyama was impossible to talk to, but Hinata cherished the conversations he had with his friends.
The dichotomy between Kageyama's relationship with Hinata and his relationship with everyone else affected him more than Hinata had thought it would. At first, whenever he would poke at their bond, he would have to wait momentarily before Kageyama identified him and lowered his guard. But one evening, after a long day of training with Daichi (who had finally taken them under his wing), Hinata called for first shower, touching Kageyama's shoulder to relay his aching and exhaustion, and received a nod and a weak hum of acceptance along their bond. It wasn't until he was soaking in the tub that Hinata realized Kageyama hadn't warded against him at all—just let him straight into his mind.
He suspected it could have been the weariness acting on his partner, but the next morning, when he tested their bond again "by accident", Kageyama responded with a growl.
"I can feel your tension and suspicion from a mile away, before you even touch me."
Hinata jumped. He was probably, probably exaggerating, but Hinata was just looking after him, damn it. "What? I have no idea what you're talking about."
Kageyama sighs and turns to him. "You've been poking at the connection all morning, and it hurts, damn you. I'm getting a headache. Also, I got your message the first seven times. Yes, I am aware that I'm not blocking you out anymore. It's too much trouble to keep up when I'm bouncing between you and everyone else. I feel paranoid and it gets on my nerves."
Hinata hesitates. "So...you trust me?"
Kageyama glares at him for a moment, and then cuffs him across the head. He doesn't say anything to Hinata's question or following yelp of pain. But the momentary touch lets Hinata know that he is resigned to his fate and he also feels like he should return some of the faith Hinata has put in him. The knowledge puts a smile on Hinata's face for the rest of the day.
Their psychic interactions remain short and to the point for a while after they first use their bond, but inevitably, longer interactions occur. The first time it happens is when they're with Daichi. Hinata had been distracted the whole day, making him a useless partner for Kageyama to train with. It was like hitting a sack of flour, and while Daichi frowned in concern, Kageyama became increasingly furious, especially since Hinata refused to go anywhere near enough to be touched. He exploded, finally, after a particularly crappy round of sparring, and Kageyama threw himself at a distant Hinata, sending both of them tumbling onto the mat, his hands fixed along the sides of Hinata's face.
Hinata responded with a gasp as Kageyama forced all his frustration, disappointment, anger, and lingering worry across the bond. Hinata remained stock still for a long moment before he furrowed his brow and lashed out at Kageyama, but it wasn't the same.
Kageyama felt Hinata's emotions, of course—returning anger at being assaulted, bone-deep worry, sympathy, and a strong sense of warm compassion and care that Kageyama had sensed distantly, but never felt up close and personal like this. But instead of just the feelings, Kageyama was bombarded by scattered noises and images that jumped recklessly across the bond. A memory, Kageyama identified it distantly, incredulous that Hinata was managing to project this. He saw snippets of Hinata's two friends—one comforted by the other, a conversation with the Jaeger technician in charge of training new techs, and the blurred image of a small town Kageyama had never seen, with three familiar children racing to the corner store...
Hinata's hometown.
The voices become clear then, in a way, and to him, it's kind of like listening to someone's echo, but there're also words and images that appear and disappear in a heartbeat that help to translate the words. Hinata is trying to communicate with him, and surprisingly, it is working. It's not like the in-between, where they use telepathy to speak, or even Drifting, where the existence of a thought is known by both as it arises, but a jumbled mess of thought and memory, with Hinata serving as the translator.
Izumi's mother collapsed earlier that week and he had only heard about it today. The three had gone to beg off time for him to go check in on his mother, and with Hinata's new status, Izumi had been able to leave. Even so, Kouji and Hinata knew that Izumi's mother was very frail and had always been prone to sickness, so they worried and prayed that she would be alright. Hinata had been worried sick over the state of one of his closest friends and his mother, who had hosted them at Izumi's house many times. To Hinata and Kouji, Izumi and his family were just a part of their extended family. Hinata's explanation ended with a sharp dig of bitterness, a tired are you happy now? sent out to Kageyama to berate him for pressing Hinata.
Kageyama pulled away from Hinata hesitantly, aware that they had been connected for far longer than usual. To his surprise, the connection did not sever and slowly fade as usual, but followed him, like he was pulling away from a sticky web that still sought to entangle him. Hinata fixed him with a miserable look, his unhappiness still pinging at the edge of Kageyama's mind until the bond finally disengaged, and they were left staring intently at each other.
Daichi, who kind of understood what had just happened, and was also aware of the attention they were attracting, ushered the two out while staring down all the people gawking at the scene with a vicious glare.
In any case, Kageyama felt like a complete and total ass for invading the privacy of that memory, leaving him with a bad taste in his mouth and the recollection of locking Hinata from his own sensitive memories. They returned to their rooms quietly and without incident, Daichi walking them only as far as a few passages down until the ripple of gossip faded. When they finally opened the door, Hinata flopped onto his bed wordlessly and grabbed his phone from the night table, worrying his lip. He was obviously checking to see if there had been any update from either Izumi or Kouji, but Kageyama felt he had to say something.
"...Hinata," he murmured, hands fisted in the bottom of his shirt, standing tense in the doorway to their room. Hinata glanced up at him reluctantly and Kageyama braced himself.
"About that...I didn't..." He struggles with the words once again and why is it so difficult now, when during training he can speak so freely to his partner? He sighs in frustration and tries again.
"If I had known, I would have never..." Apologizing had never been Kageyama's strong suit, and Hinata understood well enough that he was trying.
"It's fine," Hinata mutters in reply, but his tone of voice says it's really, really not. Kageyama clenches his teeth; god, why was he such a moron? They had come so far, only for him to isolate Hinata once again. He releases his shirt, and steps to the side of Hinata's bed. Hinata watches him with a dull look in his eyes, like he can't even be bothered to be angry at Kageyama.
He's slow when he reaches out his hands to Hinata's face this time. Hinata's eyes dart between them warily, but he allows Kageyama to lean over him, only flinching slightly at his touch. They're both pulling back, the bond hardly even flickering at the contact, and Kageyama is brushing his hands just slightly against Hinata. When he does not move to run, only fixing Kageyama with a mildly confused expression, Kageyama sinks to his knees and takes Hinata's head in his hands, pressing as gently as possible. Hinata balks a little at the familiarity, but then Kageyama opens their connection, and he unconsciously relaxes against the (unfortunately) comfortable presence.
Kageyama cannot make his words work, but maybe he can make this a substitute.
He begins with that morning. Hinata's brows furrow; this is the same memory he has, just from a different point of view, and Kageyama knows it must be disorienting, but he pulls Hinata closer to him, insistent. Hinata excusing himself from their run was strange enough in itself, but the obvious lie and anxiety on his face set off alarms in Kageyama's head. At first he feels mild irritation, then the brief cut of a hurt why won't he tell me what's wrong? He tried to shake it off during the run, but despite his best efforts to ignore it—and a slight hesitation in showing Hinata—he feels the anxiety for Hinata grow into worry, accentuated by the lack of another warm body at his side. He doesn't so much miss Hinata's noise and energy, but it certainly throws him off and puts him in a bad mood, causing him to cut his run short.
Kageyama fast forwards thought their day, worry building at Hinata's lack of responsiveness, even to the most offensive of jabs. Kageyama's worry translates over as yelling and anger—he's just so bad at showing concern—and he is harsher and harsher to Hinata, while his mind is working, analyzing, trying to understand what went wrong. And then that moment in training. He snaps because that was so easy to block Hinata what the hell are you doing what happened while I was not by your side and he knows what this must sound like, he can feel the disbelief and incredulity rising from Hinata's mind, but for one microsecond, he thinks clear as a bell: I wish I had Suga-san's talent I need to know where he is and if he's okay at all times.
Of course, then Hinata shows him such a pretty, dear memory of his life before he became a recruit and the emotional bonds that he has with the beloved people of that memory, and regret hits Kageyama sharply. He's sorry—truly sorry—that he invaded such an important part of Hinata's mind, after all that had happened with Drifting...
I would have never touched you if I had known, he tries to convey to Hinata. Something like that, you should never be forced to show anyone, not even your co-pilot. I wish you had just told me something...
And then Kageyama snaps from his trance, hackles rising in nervousness at just how much he had shown Hinata, with nothing in response. He tugs away from the bond, but Hinata is there, pulling him back, mind tracing the memory as if it were his own. The bond doesn't sever, and Kageyama knows his face is probably red, but he sincerely wants forgiveness from his calamity of co-pilot—wants their relationship to mend and become stronger.
He vaguely registers Hinata smiling, small but steady, and he pulls Kageyama closer to him, resting their foreheads together. This time, it's not so much a memory, but thoughts that Hinata communicates, wordless and imageless, but present and understandable nonetheless.
The way you share memories is so flowy, he says—well, kind of. I feel like I'm watching someone pour water into a glass, or seeing a flag ripple in the wind. All your thoughts and feelings are like that. Mine are so scattered, I don't understand how you make it effortless. Of course, then you go and hide from me, and the illusion is shattered pretty quick.
Kageyama is definitely blushing now, but he doesn't move away. Hinata pauses, but continues his thought-speak. It's so different from how you normally are. If we didn't have this, we would never be able to coexist, I think. ...I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm going to rely on you as my partner from now on, so try to let me in more often, okay?
Kageyama huffs aloud, breaking the thought-connection. "Dumbass, we've always been partners. And I didn't worry all that much. Just look after yourself, jeez. There are two of us, right?"
Hinata's smile widens, happiness thrumming across their bond. "Watch out or I'll overtake you, prodigy."
Kageyama allows a smirk in return, releasing Hinata's face and leaning back. "Kwoon Room tomorrow, then?"
"If you're that eager to lose," Hinata quips back, hopping off his bed with new energy, digging around for his night clothes. Kageyama can still feel the edge of uncertainty and worry that plagues him as the link fades, and bumps his shoulder.
"It'll take your mind off of the situation, too, since a simple-minded idiot can only think about so many things at once. Besides, you'll hurt yourself and not do them any good moping and worrying." Hinata 'accidentally' trips Kageyama as he leaves the room, and he only manages to steady himself due to the slight premonition of Hinata's mischievous thoughts.
They fall asleep easily that night.
-------------
Kageyama wakes up the next morning hungry.
It's odd—he's not often all that hungry in the morning, preferring to have a light breakfast and a heavier lunch, but his stomach growls impatiently, and he is driven from the warmth of his bed at its cries.
He pokes his head into the cabinets and the fridge, figuring some fish and maybe even an omelet would do him good, but neither of those choices sound particularly appetizing, and he sighs in impatience. The mess hall is open this early, but it's quite the walk, and he has no desire to venture out before he's fully awake, especially with the possibility of Tsukishima or Yamaguchi out on the prowl. And yet, another growl silences his complaints, and he pulls on shoes with a grimace.
It's as quiet as ever in the base. A few days ago, Daichi and Suga had been dispatched to eliminate a Category Two kaiju; not a difficult task, but one that left Apocalypto Alpha inevitably a little banged up, and apparently one of the conn-pod cables that connected to her plasma cannon had been damaged. Both Jaeger technicians and the mechanics had been working long shifts trying to get her back up to par. As a result, no one was really interested in an early morning wake-up, even with the temptation of a warm and prepared meal a few levels down.
The mess hall was damn near empty when Kageyama entered, and he didn't recognize any of the stragglers. He trudged over to the kitchen window, surveying his choices. It wasn't a bad spread by any means—but Kageyama couldn't manage to show interest in any of the meals. He hailed a chef in the back, chewing on his lip.
"Do you have any pork buns left over from yesterday?" He asked. Yeah, that would really do him some good. Sure, it may not be a typical breakfast food, but Kageyama was definitely in the mood for a pork bun. The chef looked at him strangely.
"You know we don't usually serve those for breakfast, right?"
Kageyama gave the chef a look that made him flinch—unintentionally so—and grumbled. "Yeah, and I never come here for breakfast; this is a special occasion. I'll take two."
The chef sighed and walked back to get the requested food items. Kageyama bowed slightly in thanks and turned on his heel, warm pork buns tucked securely against his chest. It was a bit of a lucky break—the kitchen didn't always make them—and Kageyama hummed in satisfaction.
It wasn't until he was turning down the hallway to his and Hinata's room that he realized his mistake. He loved pork curry buns almost as much as Hinata did, but lately Hinata had been favoring some kind of crappy barbecue flavored pork instead of the curry ones, insisting that they were just as good. Well, Kageyama suspected he was mainly interested in them because they were of a foreign flavor, but Kageyama had taken a bite anyway and concluded that they were absolute garbage, strange new flavor or not.
So why was he smelling barbecue from the bag?
Kageyama jerks to a halt. Yes, that was definitely barbecue. He thinks back to his order, and yes, again, he had ordered the barbecue ones, even though there had been pork curry ones as well. But why would he...
The answer hits him alongside another hunger pang, and he realizes that he's actually thinking of these stupid barbecue things as appealing. To be honest, he's craving them, which makes no sense because he still hates the taste of them, and he stands there like an idiot for a few minutes, with conflicting feelings on meat buns of all things.
He doesn't know why he thinks of Suga-san all of a sudden, but he does, and then he remembers the Ghost Drift strengthens over time and Hinata has been bitching about these pork buns for days.
"Oh, hell no," Kageyama hisses, changing from confused to possessed with the wrath of a demon in the blink of an eye. Gripping the bag with a strength born of incredulous fury, he tears down the hall to their shared room, a snarl of "HINATAAA!!" booming along their hallway, causing several irritated neighbors to open their doors and watch the scene unfold.
Kageyama rips open the door and screams Hinata's name into the room, his partner appearing before him only moments later, a blurry-eyed mix of alarm and drowsiness. "Kageyama, what—" he starts, but Kageyama shoves him inside, slamming the door behind them and reeling on Hinata.
He grabs the front of Hinata's night shirt and pushes him up against the door. Hinata, feeling the full brunt of Kageyama's rage at his touch, shrinks away in fear and stutters out a meek defense. "H-hey now, whatever I d-did to make you this angry, I can fix it—oh god please don't hurt me."
"Hi-na-ta," Kageyama growls, pronouncing each syllable of his name separately in a way that leaves Hinata in a cold sweat. "Do you know what I have in this bag?"
Hinata, noticing the bag for the first time, swallows nervously and eyes it. "U-um. No?"
"Well, why don't you take a wild guess?" Kageyama offers, a terrifying smile in place. Hinata is pretty sure he's going to die—like, really sure—so he obeys Kageyama and takes a tentative sniff. He blinks in surprise.
"That's—that's the barbecue pork bun I've been craving all week," he says, surprised, fear momentarily forgotten. "But I thought you didn't like those..."
"I don't," Kageyama hisses, glaring holes through Hinata. His expression makes Hinata feel like he's missing something really obvious. He wracks his brain for a response that will keep him from instantaneous death, eyes darting. Why would Kageyama have picked up the stupid things if he wasn't going to eat them? Surely they weren't for Hinata—they had already made up last night. But it seemed the only explanation, since he had been whining throughout the past week about them, to the point that Kageyama had smacked him to get him to shut up. Jeez, he'd even dreamed about the things, he was so hungry...
The realization hits him in the same way it did Kageyama—stunned silence. He had dreamed about them last night, but that didn't mean Kageyama...he meets his partner's eyes in awe. That didn't mean Kageyama had felt his dreams and responded to them, right?
Hinata's dumbfounded expression transforms into pure excitement. "Kageyama!" He yelps. "Kageyama, we did it, we used the Ghost Drift without touching! You channeled my thoughts, I can't believe it!" Kageyama lets the wriggling creature go and steps away in irritation.
"You made me get up at god knows what time in the morning to go harass the kitchen for your stupid fucking meat buns," he growls. Hinata snatches the bag from his hands and peers inside.
"Ah! You even got two! Wow, I can't even believe this. Kageyama, you're the best!" Hinata stuffs one of them in his mouth, making pleased noises.
Kageyama, who until just a moment ago had been prepared to strangle Hinata, makes a strange choking noise in his throat, and takes a hesitant step back. You're the best?
Hinata, unsurprisingly, misinterprets the sound and looks up. "My bad," he says, removing the pork bun from his mouth. "Did you want the other one or something? I mean, if we're psychically connected, maybe you'll start liking them."
Kageyama can only stare dumbly at him before turning on his heel and walking towards their bedroom. "Get changed, Dumbass Hinata," he calls over his shoulder. "If I stay around you any longer, I'll catch idiot," he mutters more quietly.
By the time they're both ready to head over to the Kwoon Room—Hinata in high spirits and Kageyama resigned to a crappy breakfast and an even crappier day—the rest of the base is awake and bustling. The pair usually miss the morning rush due to their run, so the livelihood of the hallways is a nice change. Hinata looks around like a child at Disneyworld, and Kageyama has to rescue him several times from various carts and transport vehicles that he's too dumb to notice. They also have a brief run in with Yamaguchi, in which he and Hinata stare at each other in surprise and block traffic, unsure of what to do. Kageyama steps in and grabs him by the scruff of his neck, urging him on, a brief "sorry" muttered over his shoulder, while Yamaguchi awkwardly bows.
By the time they get in the elevator, Kageyama has rekindled his anger towards Hinata, and is putting on a facial expression that makes the others in the elevator give him a wide berth. It's packed, of course. Of course. Hinata, safely tucked in front of him, peers around Kageyama's body, and Kageyama fixes him in place with a yank to his jacket.
"For god's sake, sit still," Kageyama grumbles, anchoring his pesky co-pilot to within an arm's reach. Hinata sticks his tongue out at him, and Kageyama is only mildly surprised to feel the flicker of emotional exchange across their link. So it wasn't a fluke, after all.
"Don't you know those guys?" Hinata asks, gesturing with a nod behind Kageyama. "I've seen you stare at them before." Kageyama follows the nod and sets eyes upon Kindaichi, the shallot-head guy, and Kunimi, the weasel-face. They meet his gaze coolly, and Kageyama feels his body go stiff.
Distaste flutters across their bond, and Hinata looks up at Kageyama, who still hasn't broken eye contact. No one else in the elevator pays them any mind, either wrapped up in their own conversations or still trying to wake up. Hinata unconsciously grips Kageyama's jacket, looking back at the two recruits with caution. "You don't like them...?" He wonders aloud, trying to imagine what they did to elicit such an intense response.
"We had...a difference of opinion," Kageyama explains, narrowing his eyes. It's not really an explanation, though, Hinata thinks.
"Yo, king," Kunimi calls to the newbies, and Hinata jumps. Kageyama flinches, just slightly. "I see you're still here, for one reason or another."
The thought flares across their bond at the same time: Tsukishima. Kageyama and Hinata exchange surprised glances, and the tension eases a little. Kageyama turns back to Kunimi, meeting his eyes calmly.
"I don't know where else I would be," he replies in almost a bored tone. Hinata cheers silently. Kunimi clicks his tongue and makes a face, but his companion, Kindaichi, looks at Hinata curiously.
"Who's your victim?" He asks, with calm to match Kageyama's. "Pretty small guy. Don't think I saw any of his type in our rotation, and surely they wouldn't have made the king Drift with anyone who wasn't the cream of the crop. What's his story?"
Hinata opens his mouth to answer, incited, but Kageyama beats him to it. "I don't see how that's any business of yours." He looks pointedly at the logo on their shirts that marked them as recruits, but not pilots.
Kindaichi's ears go red, but he keeps his cool. "I must say I'm a little surprised. Surely you've gone out and fought some kaiju, right? I mean, it's been months since you left. And yet...I haven't heard a thing about a new Jaeger in the field. With an elite like the king, surely Drifting in any Jaeger can be mastered. You two have Drifted, am I wrong?"
Kageyama's jaw snaps shut at that and Hinata narrows his eyes. That guy...he was really good at hitting their sore spot. Drifting was still a wound in the process of healing, and they hadn't really talked about it since that fight. Way to go getting them where they were weakest. Worse yet, their silence answered for them, and Kunimi and Kindaichi raised their eyebrows.
Hinata doesn't wait for them to say something. He steps out in front of Kageyama, shielding him. He ignores the hiss of "oi, idiot, what are you doing", and crosses his arms.
"Somehow, I get the feeling you two are related to that nickname, 'king of the base'," he says thoughtfully. "A selfish ruler who'll do anything he can to further his own ideals, huh. I can't say I really disagree with you, but don't you think you're pretty pathetic yourself?"
Kindaichi and Kunimi bristle at that. "Watch yourself, shrimp," Kunimi growls, and Hinata wavers for a moment before standing his ground.
"Kageyama might have been doing whatever he pleased, but he was also trying his hardest to get where he wanted to go. Can you really say that you put that much effort into training? Did you really do all you could to work with him? Or did you just put a crown on Kageyama's head and decide he was a lost cause?" Hinata puts a hand on his heart. "I Drifted with him, so I understand. Your entire rotation just couldn't be bothered to put up with the vigor of someone so talented, so you made excuses."
Kindaichi barks out a laugh. "Are you serious? If you've Drifted with him then you understand how unbearable it is to have him in your head. Objectively, he looks great on paper, but that guy can't communicate with people at all. How could you pilot a Jaeger with him?"
He shakes his head, but when he meets Hinata's eyes again, something in them makes him freeze. "You're really so sure about that?" Hinata asks, voice intimidatingly low. "You're really sure that Kageyama will never cut it as a pilot?"
"Of course we are," Kunimi growls defensively. "You're the idiot here."
The elevator comes to a stop, and people begin to file out. Hinata stares at them for another long moment before shrugging one shoulder. "I think you'd be surprised at what we can do together. Because we will be piloting our Jaeger, one way or another." He turns on his heel then, trotting out with his head held high, Kageyama following in a bit of a daze.
Kageyama thinks Kindaichi might have shouted a retort as they left, but he's too distracted by Hinata's feat of courage to pay attention. The doors shut behind them, and once the elevator begins to move again, Hinata collapses to his knees. "Agh, those guys are pretty scary at first. And really tall, too."
Well, it is Hinata. Kageyama rolls his eyes and kicks him. "Stand up, you moron, where the hell did that confidence go, huh? And why did you get off on the wrong floor, now we have to walk it!"
"Eh? But it was such a cool exit, I just had to. Also I kind of feel like I'm gonna puke..."
"Dumbass! Dumbass Hinata!"
------
Kageyama yanks the doors to the Kwoon Combat Room open with one strong heave and Hinata darts past him into the dim light of the room. Kageyama hears Hinata laugh inside, and he sticks his head around the doors in surprise.
Hinata is shoeless and jacketless, spinning around in a circle in the center of the mat, a carefree smile on his face and eyes bright as a candle flame. He meets Kageyama's puzzled look with another laugh, and throws his arms out. "This is where we first got to know each other, don't you remember? There are so many good memories in this place..." He runs up to Kageyama and tugs on his sleeve, pulling him further into the room.
"I remember," Kageyama mutters. "You were way too eager for a fight and you couldn't feint for shit."
Hinata rolls his eyes. "Right, but I also made you take me seriously that day, don't deny it."
Kageyama can't, and that's kind of annoying. He shoves Hinata to the ground instead, but unfortunately, he doesn't seem to lose any of his spirit, just flops down comfortably. "Yep, and you also knocked me on the ground a bunch, too. Kind of mean, if you think about it. But that's okay, because I beat you here as well!"
Kageyama snorts and kicks at Hinata, who dodges expertly and brings Kageyama tumbling down while he's off balance. Caught by surprise, Kageyama can only brace himself for impact, but Hinata is already scrambling up, preparing for his next assault. He tries to curl up defensively, and Hinata thwarts him by clambering onto him and sitting on his stomach. Kageyama grunts and attempts to dislodge the bundle of energy.
"Get the hell off me, you imbecile, you're crushing me!" He growls and squirms, to no avail. Hinata shakes his head furiously in the negative and proceeds to make himself comfortable.
Kageyama arches his back, throwing Hinata off balance in an impressive show of strength, and Hinata topples off with a yelp. Victorious, Kageyama rolls over and presses his body along Hinata's, pinning him to the mat.
"Who's crushing who now?" Hinata whines, shoving at Kageyama and squirming wildly. He actually gets a few good hits in, and Kageyama reconsiders his ability to squash Hinata to death. He jumps up, pinning Hinata's arms above his head and his legs between Kageyama's.
"Not fair," Hinata grumbles, when he finds that he can't fight against Kageyama's superior size and strength. Kageyama raises an eyebrow.
"Say it," he says, and that is most definitely not humor in his voice. No way.
"Really?" Hinata asks in disbelief. He gives one last shove before his muscles relax and he mumbles "mercy" into his shoulder. Kageyama lets him go after a moment, flopping onto his back next to Hinata.
"That's payback," he says.
Hinata props himself up on one elbow and glares at Kageyama in disbelief. "For what?"
Kageyama raises an eyebrow at him. "I told you before; you don't have to do that. I can take care of myself."
Hinata pauses for a second and then replies, "The elevator? You're mad at me because I defended us in the elevator?"
Kageyama doesn't respond, and Hinata sighs in frustration, lying back down. "That and Tsukishima, huh. You really are impossible. Would it kill you to depend on someone else a little?"
"I appreciate the thought," Kageyama says quietly. "But in a situation like that, I can handle my own problems myself."
Despite everything, Hinata finds himself smiling again. "Jeez, I kind of understand why no one ever likes Drifting with you. A connection built on trust...and you don't have the slightest bit." Kageyama tenses at the accusation, but Hinata nudges him with his shoulder and Kageyama feels his playfulness. "You're a real moron, seriously. But that's okay. I'm your partner now, so I'll make you rely on me, same as I'll make Daichi-san and Suga-san rely on us."
Kageyama huffs and meets Hinata's eyes. He's fighting a smile now, and Hinata thinks he doesn't look even a bit scary like this. "I look forward to seeing you try," he replies mildly, the soft smile finally making its way across his face.
Perhaps it's the memories they have in this place, or the good feelings that come from giving your all against a worthy opponent, but Hinata feels calm and contentment settle deep in his bones, and he sinks into the mat, watching Kageyama do the same. It's a moment of pure, unadulterated peace and silence.
Maybe that's why he's able to feel the Ghost Drift all of a sudden, as broad and suffocating as a heavy fog, but in the best possible way. He feels Kageyama without touch, their very presences interacting softly and familiarly. It's almost like the in-between, Hinata thinks, the creeping way Kageyama reaches for him and he responds. And yet...it is entirely different.
Kageyama burned him cold in the Drift, as alien a mind as a kaiju, but looking at him like this, feeling the slow puffs of air from his exhales and smelling the scent of sweat ingrained into the mat, Hinata feels anchored to this world. He is not drifting in the sense of losing touch with his surroundings; he is Drifting in the sense of aligning his mind with his partner, the other half he never knew he needed.
And it is warm. This presence is warm and soft because Kageyama's emotions are those of slow-moving happiness and satisfaction, draping themselves across Hinata's mind like a thick blanket. But he doesn't mind. Hinata allows his bubbly thoughts of comfort and wriggling cheer to bounce their way across the bond, and Kageyama snorts inelegantly, giving him the mental equivalent of a shoulder nudge. They do not touch at all—but Hinata feels like he has never been closer. Could the real Drift really unite them further than this cloud of mutual understanding?
"We should probably try again," Kageyama says quietly, trying not to break the perfect synchronization they're holding. "Kindaichi did have a point, though I'm loath to admit it. We need to put out results."
Hinata closes his eyes. Kageyama's nervousness undulates across their link, and Hinata soothes him. "I think we'll be okay this time. We should be able to push our way through the hard parts now." Kageyama hums in thought.
They are silent a while longer, and then a thought bubbles to the surface of Kageyama's mind. "Oi...when we first met," he begins, and Hinata opens one eye. "I said I felt like I knew you, and you agreed. I don't really know why I thought of this, but you remind me of someone I knew when I was younger. High school, I think." He touches Hinata's wrist, and the faded, blurring memory appears.
Hinata blinks. "No way...don't tell me you played volleyball?" He's shaking his head in disbelief, but that's definitely a volleyball court. "It's really nice, too. Where'd you go to school?"
"Shiratorizawa," Kageyama replied. "Didn't make the entrance exams, but a...mentor of mine had some connections with their big ace on the team, and he got me in, one way or another." Kageyama shrugs. "I was good for a while, but after a time, it just got old. There was no real challenge as a setter. Sure, Ushijima-san could spike like nobody's business, but he could hit everything, so it wasn't exactly difficult or exciting to toss to him. I eventually got replaced in my third year by some upstart, and ended up focusing on prepping to become a Ranger."
"Haaa? You were in Miyagi, too? And at such an elite school!" Hinata exclaims. "I guess I shouldn't expect any less. I went to Karasuno, played there for all three years. We never got to the quarter finals of any competition though, so I'm not surprised we didn't meet each other. I've always had great athleticism, but never the skill. I mean, I improved, but too slow to really go anywhere with it. Coach said that with the right setter, maybe...but then with the kaiju and everything, playing a sport seemed so pointless..." He sighed.
"I must have recognized you from a competition or something. Small world, huh?" Hinata shrugged.
"Hmm? Ah...maybe," Kageyama murmurs. "But what I really meant was that you reminded me of some spitfire shorty we played a practice match against back when I wasn't a regular in the first half of the season. That guy never gave up; his tenacity and speed were crazy. I can't really remember his face all that well, but he shone in that match, even if he wasn't the ace."
Hinata frowns. "Come to think of it, I think we played against Shiratorizawa once, but it was just a bunch of their extras, so it didn't immediately come to mind. And there was this one really unbearable guy that just took control of the court and gave it such an intense feeling, I broke out into a cold sweat. It was like playing at Nationals! I think he was number..."
"...10."
"...9."
Hinata and Kageyama exchange glances wildly. "You—" Kageyama sputters. "You're that annoying little shit who stressed me out and messed up my rhythm!"
Hinata sat up. "Of course! Who else could have had such an unbearable intensity in a practice game? It had to be you!"
They stare at each other incredulously, surprise and annoyed respect flickering across the connection. Again, Hinata found himself looking at Kageyama in a new light. "Ah, man," Hinata sighs, finally, collapsing back down. "I can't believe someone with a crazy toss like you lost to a first-year at the top of your game. I'll have you know, I always wanted to hit one of those—the ones that the senpai yelled at you for tossing."
Kageyama, too, can't help but feel just a little more respect for Hinata's determination and passion in everything that he does and loves. "I still can't believe the speed of your quicks. Even for a normal quick, you responded so fast. And to think your decoy even fooled our number two team..."
"Sounds like we would have made a good pair," Hinata suggests with a smile. Kageyama raises an eyebrow. "Although really, with such pure talent, you really should have pursued volleyball. What changed? It couldn't have just been the spikers."
Kageyama settles back down, silent in thought. He takes a breath. "To be honest, I probably just followed in my mentor's footsteps. He was a really charismatic guy, even though he's kind of the guy you'd be inclined to hate. Couldn't tell if I wanted to hit him or trail him like a puppy. But he always knew what he wanted, and went to any lengths to get it. Not a single shadow of a doubt in his mind that he was on the right track at all times.
"I asked him when he came to visit, in my third year, if he had gone pro. He laughed in my face and said that a unique skill set like his was better served elsewhere. He told me about the Jaeger pilot recruitment, and I couldn't help it: I was intrigued. He took me under his wing again and it turned out that I was really talented in that, too. It's probably selfish of me to say this, but I was jealous of my mentor and I wanted to be better than him at something. He was so good with people, just brought them together, incredible Drift compatibility...but I thought if I could be better than him in a Jaeger, maybe I could prove that someone who didn't work with people could be great, too. And now..." Kageyama shrugs. "Now I don't know. If I'm good at it, I guess I should save humanity, but my mentor isn't really my motivation anymore."
Hinata nods thoughtfully. "Makes sense in a way. I kind of want to prove myself too. I saw Small Giant, back in her heyday, and that kind of jumpstarted my desire. To think that something so small could become so powerful...I want that. That ability can protect Natsu and Mom and Dad, and Kouji and Izumin and their families. I really don't want them to suffer."
He laughs, and Kageyama feels shame shudder through their connection. "I say that, but...I'm just chasing after my dream again. When I played volleyball, I really enjoyed it. I had a lot of friends, and even with the threat of kaiju I was able to live a normal life." Hinata frowns.
"But my parents worried themselves sick over the rest of our family and they struggled to pay for insurance. All they could focus on was keeping us safe and healthy, and although they tried to smile through it all, Natsu and I still saw everything. And then Natsu lost her best friend in a kaiju attack when she was on vacation, and she wasn't really the same. Her eyes were always puffy and she stopped going outside as much. And there I was, still playing the same sport I loved, through all of that. Volleyball became worthless with the knowledge that everyone I loved was suffering in the back of my mind.
"I knew I wanted to pilot when I saw that tape. Small Giant was just incredible, and I was entranced. So even with everything going on, I...I left them for a hope. I just pray that what little we get paid can help make up for abandoning them. And I pray that I can save them from a kaiju attack, some day."
He glances over at Kageyama, who looks deep in thought, eyebrows pulled together. Hinata taps at his mind, and Kageyama shoots him a look. Hinata jolts back. "S-sorry! You probably didn't want to hear my whole life story. I just got a little carried away..."
Kageyama turns on his side, and Hinata flinches again, even though he can't sense any anger or irritation from Kageyama. "Hinata," Kageyama says, low and commanding.
"Y-yes?" Hinata barks, turning on his side too.
Kageyama takes a deep breath, and then exhales. "I want to ask something of you. It isn't fair of me, and it isn't right as a pilot, but it's something I as a person need. Okay?"
Hinata tilts his head a little, but nods. Kageyama doesn't meet his eyes. "About that memory...the one that I panicked and refused to show you..." Hinata's eyes widen because didn't he blame it on me in the end? but Kageyama continues. "I know that it seems like I didn't trust you and because of that I yanked you away. But that is not the reason. Especially with how much you have fought and suffered...I do not want to burden you with what I have seen."
"Isn't that the point of having a co-pilot?" Hinata objects. "Someone to share the burden with? And besides, I thought that memory was just embarrassing to you..." He breaks off when Kageyama shakes his head.
"You saw the tail end, which, although it is a fantastic show of weakness, is not why I don't want you to see it. Please. I know, I keep on asking you, over and over to trust me, but I must once more. You have given and given, with little in return so I don't know if..."
Hinata stops him with a feather-light brush across the Ghost Drift. "There's nothing in your brain that feels hostile. You don't have an ulterior motive. I can tell that this time, you only have my best interests in mind. I'll admit, I don't like it..." He sits up. "...But once more."
Kageyama also sits up, looking at his lap. "...Thank you."
Hinata grins and punches him in the shoulder. Kageyama jerks from his serious trance and glares at his partner, who is already up and walking backwards in preemptive wariness. Kageyama stands and pads over to him, asserting his greater height. Hinata doesn't look frightened at all, unfortunately. "You should smile like you did back there more often," he says with a laugh. "You look way less scary than usual."
Kageyama moves to cuff him, but Hinata ducks under his arm and runs out the door, Kageyama hot on his heels with a "What the hell is that supposed to mean, moron?" tossed after him. Hinata doesn't reply, but runs full speed ahead with a whoop, and Kageyama sighs to himself once and picks up speed, their connection a fuzzy trail following the exuberant newbie.
Kageyama catches him in front of Daichi and Koushi's door, Hinata fixing him with a raised eyebrow and an implied 'what took you so long?' They present themselves and their willingness to test Drift again to the veterans, who both approve immediately and set up the next day as a test. Koushi fairly sags in relief, and Daichi might have been beaming.
In the end, they never find sparring necessary at all.
----------------------------
If the first two walks to the test Drift pods were nervously energetic and painfully awkward, then this one was certainly a complete 180 from the previous. Daichi and Koushi don't even lead the procession—they follow. Hinata is leaping around, running ahead, before turning and falling into step with the more composed Kageyama. Kageyama is snapping at him in a way that could be considered grudgingly affectionate, and overall, Daichi and Koushi are pretty sure they've never been better. An air of anticipation and excitement hangs about the group, a wonderful change of pace for the pilots.
Michimiya greets them at the door this time, an eyebrow raised at the newbies' energy and general good vibes. "What sort of medication have you put them on, Sawamura? This isn't what I expected at all."
Noticing the head Drift tech for the first time, Hinata walks up to her, Kageyama at his side, and they bow in unison. "We're sorry for causing you and your staff trouble, Michimiya-san," Hinata apologizes sincerely for the both of them.
A little flustered, she fiddles with her clipboard in response. "Ah, that's—well it's my job anyway to deal with troublesome rookies, so there's no need to be so polite..." She puts a hand on her hip. "Make it up to me by putting out some good results, okay? And none of that insanely unified stuff, either!"
"Ossu!" Hinata and Kageyama reply in unison, following her through the door.
"Hey, Kageyama," Hinata murmurs. "What d'you think she means by 'insanely unified stuff'?"
Kageyama shrugs. "Maybe it's a technical term?" He whispers back. Hinata makes a face at that, and he's about to launch himself into an argument, when Koushi breaks in with a huff.
"Just get yourself into the test pods without any casualties, okay?" Chastised, the two are quiet for the rest of the time while the techs put on their suits. Well, for as long as Hinata can keep himself still and quiet.
"Oi," he summons, and Kageyama looks over at him, the very picture of suffering. Hinata chews his lip, a thought from their first test Drift reappearing. "These test suits...they aren't very comfortable, right?"
Kageyama's expression changes to one of disbelief and are you kidding me how can you be so stupid. "What a stupid question, you dumbass. Of course they're uncomfortable, they pinch in all the wrong places and they don't fit my build right at all. Isn't that the case for everyone?"
Hinata rolls his eyes at the 'dumbass', pouting. "Hmph, just wondering, jeez. You're so prickly." But he can't help the little flutter of happiness in his gut and the thought of even prodigies, then. Kageyama glances over at him again in slight concern at how weird he is acting, but Hinata waves him off as they're lowered into position. He closes his eyes, and then, they are in.
Kageyama is with him almost instantly when they arrive at the in-between. Their presences mix comfortably, even though Hinata is vaguely creeped out.
Ew, he says. This feels so gross. I never really minded the nothingness before, but now it just feels really clinical and cold. Is that the feeling of machinery mediating our interaction? I feel like I got stuffed in a freezer. Or a fish tank.
Ugh, I have to agree, Kageyama hisses. Your mind feels faded and corroded. It's like someone handed me a poorly made copy. That is you, right?
Yeah, it's me. Hinata gets the same kind of feeling from Kageyama. He's cold when he should be hot, and touching his presence leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth. Let's get this over with. You nervous?
Of course not, imbecile. Despite his sharp words, Kageyama hesitates to form the bridge. Follow my lead?
He says it like a question, and Hinata kind of wants to hit him. Duh, that's what we decided. Don't make me change my mind. I'm rolling my eyes at you, by the way.
Kageyama doesn't hesitate after his words, and they grow in and together. Hinata blinks, and then he is Kageyama, and Kageyama is him. They watch the memories flow from their unified minds, as one. Hinata understands, as the thoughts and feelings at the back of his mind shift against his will, that this isn't truly his mind anymore, as he had thought before, but a communal plane of existence, inhabited by two. They examine the memories in detached oneness, quietly observant.
It appears, as always, that one memory, and they tense in anxiety. Hinata pulls at their thoughts, urging that one memory on. Kageyama, too, lets it slip through the fine tooth comb of their twin mind. It passes like all the others, undisturbed and pure. Hinata looks forward to see it—the other end of the bridge—heart fluttering in excitement as they pass the threshold.
Hinata opens his eyes again, seeing the Drift techs looking over him anxiously, but he is not alone. Kageyama looks with him, through his eyes, while Hinata, too, watches the techs swarm Kageyama's body. Amazing, he thinks, and meets Kageyama's eyes at the same time he looks over to Hinata.
"I can hear your thoughts!" Hinata exclaims. "No, more like they're my thoughts, too...but our bodies...we feel like one. I'm not even me anymore—"
"—I am you, too," Kageyama finishes, a fiercely triumphant grin on his face. "Congratulations, us."
"Yes!" Hinata fist pumps, Kageyama mirroring the action. The door to their pod opens, and Koushi darts in, face aglow.
"Oh my god, I knew you two could do it!" He says, hand on his heart. "How are you? Does everything feel okay? You aren't jostling for control, right?"
"Everything is great Suga-san," Hinata assures him. "I can't really describe it at all—it's not really like having two bodies—it's just—"
"—it's like having a whole new body, twice as strong and smart as your old one, is what he means to say," Kageyama finishes, again, and Hinata is way too thrilled to be angry.
Koushi grins. "I know the feeling. Pretty spectacular, eh? Well, you two are all fine where results are concerned, so I'm pretty sure we can call this a success. We'll have you run a few movement and sync tests before we cut you off, alright? If everything goes swimmingly, we should have you in your Jaeger tomorrow."
"Sounds like a plan," Kageyama nods sharply, vibrating with excitement. Koushi had never seen him this wound up before, but he suspects Drifting with Hinata has done him some good. He gives them a thumbs up before ducking back out, leaving the real work to the techs who knew what they were doing.
Up in the control tower, Michimiya sighs in resignation, shaking her head, but she's smiling. "Well, so much for 'none of that crazy synchronicity'. I'm going to have a field day with these results. You ever seen something like this, Sawamura?"
Daichi looks at the screen and can only shrug weakly. "I mean...it's not a bad thing, right? To be that unified with your co-pilot." The screen, which should show two jagged lines intersecting and twining closer with the increased strength of the Drift, shows instead a flat line, with only the occasional bips breaking its perfect horizontal straight. Michimiya gives him a dirty look.
"Since we haven't ever seen perfect synchronization, we wouldn't know, now, would we? Let's just hope it's good enough to pilot that monstrosity of a Jaeger Noya keeps yapping about."
Daichi nudges her shoulder. "Hey, at least they proved they can Drift. You were rooting for them too, I know you were. Also, Noya isn't supposed to talk about the Jaeger that may or may not exist."
Michimiya grins. "Please, like Noya can resist talking to anything that doesn't have a Y chromosome. Curiosity got the best of me, how was I supposed to know it was his child?" She glances up as the other tests begin, clicking her tongue in amazement at the incoming results.
"Che, of course they're stellar at these, too. I'm a little relieved that they don't beat out our ace team, though. They've got something to work on after all. Oh, Suga's back," she breaks to acknowledge Koushi's arrival. "You two better make them into the best team ever, you hear? If this potential goes to waste, I'll never let you hear the end of it."
"I wouldn't be too worried about them," Koushi says, a smile in his voice. "Even Kageyama's raring to be put in a Jaeger. If they can't do it, no one can." He walks up to the computers lining the edge of the control tower. Leaning on Daichi, he whistles at their sync rate. "Sheesh. That's certainly something to hold. Marshal Ukai is going to be thrilled."
"The Marshal?" Daichi raises an eyebrow. "I think you mean Takeda-sensei and Noya are going to be crying and hysterical with joy. Tanaka, too. I'm sure he's sick of Noya's whining. Tyrant Omega has been so finicky as well."
Koushi laughs and nods in agreement. "I'll send out the info right away, if you want to see them back to their room. Yui, you don't mind making me some copies, do you?" She shakes her head and drags him over to the printouts, their heads already together in discussion.
Daichi rolls his eyes. "Don't keep my boy too long, okay Michimiya? It's hard to be the lead Jaeger team without my other half." Koushi glances back at him fondly and flicks him across their bond. Michimiya raises her eyebrows, and Koushi shoos Daichi with a wave of his hand.
"It's like watching your kids grow up, huh?" Michimiya says slyly to Koushi, who laughs and shakes his head.
"You know? It really is. I hope I've been a good mother to them. God knows Daichi's been a strict father," he says, and Michimiya giggles. "We're very proud of that oddball duo, I must say," he adds softly, and they get to work organizing a file for the Marshal and his scientists.
Back in their rooms, with instructions to eat well and rest up, Kageyama and Hinata lie wide awake in their beds, pretending to make shape of the darkness on the ceiling. Kageyama turns on his side, looking at Hinata's featureless black form. Hinata mirrors the movement subconsciously.
"Our Drift was really strong today," Kageyama says softly, voice barely above a whisper. "Your trust...it was really, really strong."
"You're welcome," Hinata huffs good-naturedly.
Kageyama goes to roll his eyes before he realizes Hinata won't see it. "Daichi-san said we performed off the chart, and Suga-san seemed pretty happy, too. But is it really so natural for you to put all that faith in me?"
"It's not faith in you, idiot," Hinata murmurs sleepily. "It's faith in us. Now, I'm going to sleep because I don't want to be drowsy piloting a Jaeger for the first time." They're both silent for a moment, the power of the thought piloting a Jaeger stunning them in awe. They laugh quietly before curling back into their private thoughts, settling in for sleep.
Us, huh? Kageyama thinks. I need to put faith in us.
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