Jungkook sighs as he puts his coffee on the table. He slumps his body on the chair and Taehyung frowns at him.

"What's wrong with you today? You look grumpy," Taehyung says as he sets his bag on the floor next to his chair.

"I'm not grumpy, I'm just...," Jungkook sighs again. He looks outside the coffee shop window where people are rushing to get home. "I'm having a crisis."

"What sort of crisis?" Taehyung asks. He blows on his hot coffee before taking a sip. He's lucky enough not to get burnt.

"A Jimin crisis," Jungkook rests his elbows on the table and runs his hands over his face.

He can feel a headache coming. He couldn't sleep last night because he couldn't stop thinking about his little epiphany. He has feelings for Jimin. It's not like he's surprised but the fact that he's admitting it to himself is definitely a first. He doesn't know what to do with these feelings though.

"It's always a Jimin crisis nowadays," Taehyung smiles. "What is it this time?"

Jungkook wraps his hands around his hot cup of coffee, looking down at the dark liquid. Warmth seeps through his skin and the smell of coffee makes the atmosphere feel homey. Jungkook can imagine himself being at his parents dining room table, the sound of his mother's laugh filling his heart with joy. He misses home. He feels like he's been lost since he got to Seoul. He can't seem to find his purpose in this big and busy city.

Jimin is the first great thing that's happened to him since he got here and it's not like it's something permanent.

"I have feelings for him," Jungkook says, looking up at Taehyung. He doesn't seem surprised.

"Okay," Taehyung leans his arms against the table, "what are you gonna do?"

"What can I do?" Jungkook shrugs.

"You can tell him," Taehyung says, making Jungkook scoff, "or you can keep your mouth shut and keep doing whatever you're already doing."

"Either way I get hurt."

"You don't know that," Taehyung shakes his head. "He might have feelings for you too."

"Even if he does, he won't act on them."

"Again, you don't know that."

Jungkook sighs and leans back in his chair. He takes a sip of his coffee and ignores the burn. There's no way Jimin wants to be in a relationship with Jungkook. He's said it multiple times, Jungkook is too young. When he bit him he freaked out, like the thought of being mates with Jungkook was insane. Jungkook doesn't like to dwell on things but it did hurt. Jungkook likes to think he'd make a great mate.

If Jimin's bite had been deep enough to create a bond, Jungkook would have made sure to be a good mate to him. He would have learned how to be a good alpha to an omega. Their age difference doesn't make much of a difference to Jungkook. They might be at different points in their lives but it doesn't mean they can't make it work. Jungkook would give his all to make it work.

"What do you think I should do then?" Jungkook asks. Taehyung smiles at him but it looks pitiful.

"I think you should go for it," Taehyung takes a sip of his coffee.

"What?" Jungkook frowns.

"You said it yourself," Taehyung shrugs, "you're getting hurt either way. So, why don't you try to turn what you guys have into something more. You might get rejected but at least you tried."

"Yeah, but then I lose him," Jungkook licks his lips. "If I don't tell him anything, I might get hurt but at least I still have him."

"Yeah, but what's the point? You'd just be sad all the time. You'd wonder what if. What if you confessed and he confessed back? What if he wanted to be with you too but you were too scared to tell him? Living with regrets isn't good Jungkook," Taehyung rests his hand on Jungkook, releasing comforting pheromones. Jungkook's alpha relaxes instantly.

Jungkook would hate to live without Jimin but he would hate living all his life wondering if they could have made it work. Jungkook doesn't think much about his future or what he wants his life to be like, but he knows that he won't be able to forget about Jimin. He might move on from him eventually but he'd still be in the back of his mind.

There's nothing in Jungkook's life that he looks forward to. Nothing he's ever thought of accomplishing apart from being able to live from photography. The only thing he looks forward to lately is seeing Jimin. If he doesn't have Jimin, he goes back to his dull life. He goes back to figuring out what to do with it and what kind of man he wants to be.

"You've known him for a month now," Taehyung continues, "and I've never seen you be this happy. You probably haven't noticed but you've grown. He has a great influence on you. I think he's it for you. You guys could be great together. So, go for it. Make him see how happy he can be with you."

"I wouldn't know where to start," Jungkook sighs, looking down at Taehyung's tanned hand on his own. Taehyung rubs a thumb over his pale skin. "I've never been in a relationship. I'm no expert."

"You'll figure it out," Taehyung smiles encouragingly. He squeezes Jungkook's hand before letting it go.

"What should I do?"

"You should court him."

"How do I do that?" Jungkook frowns. He's not even sure what courting means.

"Send him gifts, be affectionate, do small gestures to show him you're interested," Taehyung takes a sip of his coffee. "Show him you're dependable. Show him how good of an alpha you can be to him."

"Right," Jungkook nods, licking his lips, "okay. Courting."

"Just be yourself, it should be enough," Taehyung laughs.

Jimin isn't wrong when he says Jungkook is a baby alpha. He doesn't know what being an alpha really means but he's willing to try.

Showering Jimin in compliments and treating him like a prince shouldn't be too hard.

Jungkook can do courting.

............&............

Jimin smiles when he hears Haewon laughing in the living room. It's a lazy saturday morning and Jimin is preparing jjigae for lunch. Haewon is sitting on the floor watching the little mermaid and laughing her head off at Ariel's antics. It's her favorite movie and she's told Jimin many times that she wants to become a mermaid. Jimin can't say it doesn't sound appealing. He usually indulges her fascination with the sea creatures by buying many mermaid themed objects. Her bedroom looks like an Ariel shrine.

Jimin startles when he hears the doorbell ring. He puts his knife down on the counter and washes his hands quickly before walking to the door.

When Jimin opens it he's met with a stranger carrying a big bouquet of flowers in her hands. He blinks at the beta woman in the blue uniform. The cap she's wearing says "Yeri's flower shop". Jimin's never heard of it.

"Park Jimin?" the woman asks.

"Uh, yes."

"These are for you," she smiles as she hands him the bouquet.

"Oh," Jimin takes it from her, "thank you."

"Have a good day," she chirps before turning around to walk to the elevator.

Jimin closes the door and frowns. It's not his birthday or any other special occasion for him to receive flowers. He doesn't even know who they're from. All he knows is that the bouquet of white, pink and yellow flowers is gorgeous. They're wrapped in white paper and smell like heaven.

Haewon doesn't move from her spot on the floor. Her eyes are still trained on the TV. Jimin picks up the card that was sent with the flowers and opens it. It reads "Where flowers bloom so does hope." and is signed by JK . Jimin is even more confused. Why would Jungkook send him flowers?

Jimin takes his phone out of his back pocket and takes a picture of the flowers. He walks to the kitchen and puts them on the counter while he fetches a vase. He pours water in it before putting it on the counter. He unwraps the flowers and puts them in the vase. Jimin smiles at the sight. Jungkook has good taste.

Jimin leans against the counter and opens Jungkook's contacts.

To daddy alpha:
jungkook

Jungkook's answer comes a few seconds later like he's been waiting by his phone whole morning. It makes Jimin smile.

From daddy alpha:
yes?

From daddy alpha:
do you like them?

To daddy alpha:
they're pretty

From daddy alpha:
they reminded me of you

Jimin frowns but the words still sends butterflies to his stomach. He doesn't like where this is going. Jungkook isn't supposed to do romantic gestures just because he feels like it. He can't help but feel flattered and if he was living a different life he'd probably let himself fall head over heels for Jungkook.

To daddy alpha:
why did you send me these?

From daddy alpha:
did you read the card

To daddy alpha:
i did
what does it mean?

From daddy alpha:
nothing
i just wanted to send you something nice

To daddy alpha:
why?

It doesn't make any sense to Jimin. Obviously, he's not an idiot. He knows that they've been getting closer the past few weeks but they said from the beginning that the whole thing is supposed to be no strings attached. This. Whatever they have. It can't be more than no strings attached.

From daddy alpha:
stop overthinking jimin
just accept them for what they are
i just wanted to make you smile and i hope you did
please take care of them well
and take care of yourself too ♥

To daddy alpha:
oh
thank you jungkook ♥

Jimin isn't a mean person. What is he supposed to say when Jungkook is being so sweet to him? What is he supposed to say when his heart is racing in his chest? Jimin can't accept these flowers for what they are because they mean more than Jimin is willing to accept. He wishes Jungkook didn't send them but a part of him is overjoyed. A part of him that's been concealed for years. A part of him that Jimin isn't able to share with Jungkook.

"Did you get flowers, mommy?" Haewon asks.

Jimin didn't notice her moving from her spot on the floor. Her big brown eyes are shining with excitement and her peachy scent has become sweeter. Jimin smiles down at her.

"Yes, baby. They're from Jungkook oppa."

"They're pretty," she smiles. "They smell like you."

Jimin's heart skips a beat. They reminded Jungkook of Jimin because they smell like him. Jimin hates how special it makes him feel. He's not special and he doesn't want to be special to Jungkook.

If only he wasn't so good at lying to himself. Maybe he'd be able to believe he's worth being loved.

............&............

Jimin pushes the door of his dance studio and startles when he sees Jungkook leaning against the wall. He looks up from his phone and beams at Jimin. Warmth fills Jimin's chest at the sight. Jungkook looks beautiful under the shining sun. Jimin smiles back at him. It's a pleasant surprise.

"What are you doing here, Jungkook?" Jimin asks as he lets go of the door.

"I thought we could have lunch together," Jungkook says, moving away from the wall to face Jimin. "Wanna go to Café Bora?"

"What about your classes?"

"I don't have any until 3PM."

"So what?" Jimin tilts his head to the side. "You just came here to ask me out for lunch?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Jungkook smiles and wraps his arms around Jimin's waist.

Jimin melts into the touch and rests his hands on Jungkook's biceps. Jungkook feels warm and soft against him. Jimin's grown to feel safe in Jungkook's arms. It feels like nothing bad can happen as long as Jungkook holds him.

"Do you want to?" Jungkook asks timidly.

He feels both strong and fragile in Jimin's arms. Jimin has a feeling he could break him with a few simple words. Jimin knows Jungkook is aware of that too. Jimin doesn't want to give Jungkook the power to break him. That's why he guards his heart so ferociously. Jungkook is brave or dumb enough to wear his heart on his sleeve.

"Sure," Jimin says.

He's selfish. He wants to keep Jungkook close but won't let him in.

"Great," Jungkook smiles before pecking Jimin on the lips. "Let's go then."

He lets go of Jimin's waist and tries to take his hand but Jimin pretends to scratch his nose. Jimin ignores the way Jungkook's face falls and the way his heart squeezes in his chest.

It only takes them five minutes to get to the coffee shop. They've been quiet the whole way here which is very unlike them. They both know something is wrong but Jimin doesn't think either of them will bring it up. They're not ready to burst their perfect little bubble yet.

"I'll pay," Jungkook says when they're ordering at the counter.

"It's fine Jungkook, I can pay for my food."

"I know," Jungkook chuckles, "but I still want to pay."

"I thought you were a broke college student."

"I can pay for one meal. Well technically two. Mine and yours," he smiles.

"Jungkook-"

"I insist Jimin. Please. Let me."

Jimin sighs but gives up. He'll pay next time they eat somewhere. If there's even a next time. He's not sure why they're having lunch together when they're supposed to meet just for sex. That's the arrangement.

Jungkook pays for their food and drinks before sitting at a remote table in a corner of the café. The place is pretty busy but it usually is during lunch time. Jimin opens his can of coke and looks at Jungkook. He's biting into his sandwich and looking at other people. He looks so sweet and innocent with his big doe eyes. Jimin wants to reach his hand over the table to brush his hair back and caress his cheek. He takes a sip of his drink instead.

"How's Wonho?" Jimin breaks the silence, smiling playfully.

"He keeps asking about you," Jungkook rolls his eyes, "and he makes fun of me but that's nothing new."

"And what do you tell him about me?" Jimin asks before biting into his ham sandwich.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"There's nothing to tell," Jungkook shrugs. He's right but the words still sting. "I mean. There's a lot to tell but it's nothing I want to share with him."

"Is there anyone you share things with?"

"Taehyung. My best friend," Jungkook smiles when he says his name. Jimin feels a pang of jealousy. He hopes Jungkook smiles like that when he thinks of Jimin too. "Our parents were best friends too. We've known each other since childhood."

"That's nice," Jimin nods. "I was beginning to think you were alone."

"Well," Jungkook clears his throat, "I have Taehyung and I have you. Kind of."

"Right," Jimin smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"What about you? Do you have any friends?"

"I do. I have Hoseok and Yoongi, and Seokjin and Namjoon. They're mates. Not the four of them together, but you know. Hoseok and Yoongi. Seokjin and Namjoon," Jimin chuckles.

"Do they have kids too?"

"Yes. Two and two."

Jungkook nods and takes a sip of his drink. He looks pensive and Jimin might know why. The more they talk about their lives the more they realize they're nothing alike.

"I think you would get along well with Yoongi," Jimin lets out but he instantly regrets saying that. Jungkook's never going to meet his friends. He feels cruel, giving Jungkook false hope.

"Really?" Jungkook beams. "What is he like?"

"He's very funny, gives great advice and he's very loyal. He likes being alone most of the time except when it comes to his close friends and family. He's talented and soft-hearted. You guys have a lot of qualities in common," Jimin smiles.

"Thanks," Jungkook smiles back. Jimin swears he's blushing. "He sounds like a nice guy. What is he?"

"He's an omega. What about Taehyung?"

"He's an omega too. I think you'd get along well with him."

In another life Jimin would love to meet Jungkook's friends. He trusts in his judgment and is certain Taehyung is a lovely person.

"I'm glad you're not alone," Jungkook says, looking straight into Jimin's eyes. "I'm glad it's not just you and Haewon."

"Yeah, no I'm... I'm happy. Mostly," Jimin smiles.

"Do you ever feel like you're missing something?" Jungkook chews on his bottom lip. He looks hesitant.

"What do you mean?" Jimin frowns.

"Like a mate?"

Jimin's breath hitches. He clears his throat, "Um, no. Not really. I'm fine with being on my own."

"So, you've never thought about having a mate?"

"Have you?" Jimin asks. He doesn't want to talk about mates with Jungkook. He doesn't want to answer his questions.

"Yeah," Jungkook shrugs, "I'd like to have a mate someday."

"I'm sure you'll find someone great," Jimin gives him a fake smile before taking a sip of his drink. "Until then, you're stuck with me."

"It's not so bad," Jungkook smiles.

It's too soft. This is unknown territory for Jimin. He wants to bring the conversation back to their comfort zone. He wants Jungkook to flirt with him and ask him when they can fuck next. He doesn't want to talk about a future in which Jungkook won't be. He wants to enjoy his time with Jungkook now. In the present.

"I didn't have time to compliment you the other day," Jimin leans against the table and smirks at Jungkook. "Your rimming skills are extraordinary."

"Thank you," Jungkook chuckles. "I can't believe you'd never ridden someone's face before. With an ass like yours, it's a crime."

"Well, you know what alphas are like."

"Not really. I've never had sex with an alpha," Jungkook jokes. "What are they like?"

"Selfish." Jimin tilts his head to the side. "Self-centered."

Jimin speaks from experience. Jungkook's the first alpha he's met that's different. Jimin has been very unlucky so far. The fact that Jungkook is an exception to the image he's built in his head is probably the main reason why he's so attached.

"You haven't met the right ones."

"Maybe not," Jimin looks down at his abandoned sandwich.

"Until me, obviously," Jungkook leans back on his chair and spreads his legs, a cocky smirk on his face.

"Obviously," Jimin laughs.

"How did you meet your friends?"

"In college. Hoseok and I are the same age and we were in the same major. That's how we met. Seokjin is two years older than us but we met him at a party. He was so drunk," Jimin laughs, "he was dancing on top of a table but it looked more like he was flailing his arms around. Hoseok and I decided to join him and that's how we ended up at the hospital at 2AM. The table gave out, we fell and Hoseok broke his wrist. We ended up bonding over the whole thing."

"You're the type to dance on a table at a party?" Jungkook laughs, a surprised look on his face.

"Yeah," Jimin chuckles. "I never liked being alone. I used to always hang out with friends and go out before I got Haewon."

It feels like ages ago. When he was in college all he had to focus on was himself. He can't remember the last time he did something just for himself. Every decision he makes are influenced by Haewon. She's been Jimin's main focus since she was born. She's the best thing that's ever happened to him but he's forgotten about himself along the way.

His own needs and wishes are buried deep in the back of his mind. He wouldn't know how to focus on himself anymore.

"Do you ever miss those days?" Jungkook asks.

"Sometimes," Jimin mumbles, "but I feel guilty whenever I think that way. I wouldn't trade Haewon for the world. She is my world. I can't imagine a life without her."

"You can do all the things you used to do even with Haewon. Going out, inviting friends over. Haewon doesn't stop you from doing that."

"It's not that easy," Jimin smiles. Jungkook is sweet but he has no idea what it's like to raise a child. "My friends have their own lives. It's hard to find time for ourselves. We try as best as we can but we're all so tired," Jimin chuckles. "We're getting old, you know."

"You're not old," Jungkook laughs, shaking his head.

"You're the one who's always making fun of my age," Jimin bumps his foot against Jungkook's under the table

"You make fun of my age too, remember? You call me baby alpha."

"You are a baby alpha," Jimin shrugs.

"That's not what you say when I got you all wet and writhing underneath me," Jungkook leans against the table.

Heat pools in the pit of Jimin's stomach. Jungkook always knows how to take the conversation to dangerous territory. It's like a switch is flipped in Jimin's brain. All he can think about is the sight of Jungkook's broad chest above him and the drag of his cock inside of him.

"Right," Jimin leans against the table too until their noses almost graze each other, "I can't really call you baby alpha when you fuck me. In fact, I can barely talk most of the time."

"Hmm," Jungkook hums, brushing their noses together, "I'm that good."

"You are," Jimin whispers, looking down at his lips. "You're the best."

"Yeah?" Jungkook brushes their lips together. Jimin's breath hitches.

"Yeah."

Jimin catches Jungkook's lips in a kiss and cups his face with his hand. The kiss is slow and sensual, lips sliding against each other softly. Jimin sucks on Jungkook's bottom lip before pecking him. Jungkook tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss. Their tongues meet and Jimin sighs into the kiss. He slides his hand to Jungkook's neck and rubs his thumb against his scent gland. Jungkook nips at Jimin's bottom lip before breaking the kiss.

"We're in public," he mumbles against Jimin's lips.

"Let's go somewhere private then," Jimin kisses him again but Jungkook laughs against his lips.

"Where would that be?"

"The bathroom," Jimin raises his eyebrows suggestively, biting on his bottom lip. "I haven't sucked you off in a while," Jimin pecks his lips. "I miss it."

"We can't," Jungkook smiles and grabs Jimin's hand on his neck.

"Why not?" Jimin whines and pouts. Jungkook intertwines their hands.

"Because the place is busy and we're not done eating."

"Who cares?" Jimin frowns. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"You look pretty hungry to me," Jungkook winks before kissing Jimin's hand. "Eat, Jimin."

Jimin stares at him, looking for something in his eyes. It's not like Jungkook to refuse sex and the fact that they're in public usually wouldn't stop him. There's something more to it. Jimin isn't sure he wants to know what it is. Jimin pulls away and leans back in his chair. He takes a sip of his coke and ignores the feeling of rejection churning in the pit of his stomach.

"Stop pouting," Jungkook says but he's pouting too. They probably look like two grumpy babies.

"I'm not pouting."

"Yeah you are. You look like someone just took your cake away."

"You kind of did."

"My dick is the cake?"

"Yes."

"Do you want cake that bad?"

"Yes."

"You're too spoiled baby," Jungkook smirks. "I need to teach you patience better."

Jimin shivers. Jungkook can't say these things to him and then not give Jimin what he wants. It's unfair.

"Then let's go to the bathroom and you can teach me," Jimin rests his chin in his palm.

"That's not how it works baby," Jungkook chuckles. "Good things come to those who wait."

"I don't want you to do good things. I want you to do bad things to me," Jimin smirks at him.

Jungkook buries his tongue in his cheek. He's trying hard to control himself but Jimin can smell arousal in his scent.

"Stop it."

"We have time to play a little," Jimin says as he checks the time on his phone. "Please."

"No," there's finalty in Jungkook's voice and Jimin knows not to push it.

There might be a push and pull game between them but Jimin doesn't want to make Jungkook uncomfortable. He's not going to force him to do something he doesn't want to. Jungkook said no and that's that.

"Okay," Jimin sighs, pushing his plate away. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"Jimin-"

"It's fine Jungkook," Jimin says but Jungkook doesn't look convinced. "I promise."

"It's not... I'm not..."

"Jungkook," Jimin takes his hand and intertwines their fingers, "it's okay. You can say no. You don't need to justify yourself. You don't want to and that's fine. I'm not mad at you."

"It's not you," Jungkook rubs a thumb over Jimin's hand. "It's not because I don't want you."

"I know that," Jimin smiles. "I know you can't resist me," he pretends to flip his hair back and it makes Jungkook laugh.

"You're right. I can't get enough of you."

Jungkook stares at him with soft eyes and it makes Jimin's heart race. He says it so softly it almost sounds intimate. It fills Jimin's chest with warmth. He'd love to bask in the feeling but alarms are blaring in his brain. A voice is telling him that it's not right. He can't let himself feel such things for Jungkook. Jimin's omega hates the little voice in the back of Jimin's mind.

Jimin smiles at him before untangling their fingers. He downs the rest of his drink and watches Jungkook finish his meal in silence. Jimin is feeling too many conflicting emotions to eat.

"Should we go?" Jungkook says once he's done.

"Yes, I have to go back."

"I'll walk you."

Jimin doesn't tell him no because Jungkook is going to do it anyway. He doesn't mind the company. They leave the café and start walking in silence. Their shoulders brush against each other multiple times and Jimin can tell Jungkook wants to hold his hand. He keeps brushing his pinkie against Jimin's.

Jimin ignores the butterflies in his stomach and refuses to take his hand.

When they get to Jimin's dance studio they face each other. Jungkook is the one who breaks the silence.

"Thank you. I had a great time," Jungkook smiles.

"Me too."

Silence again. They've never been this awkward around each other. Jimin doesn't know what to do. He wants to flee the situation but he doesn't want to leave Jungkook. Life is boring without Jungkook.

"Can we see each other again soon?" Jimin asks. He walks closer to Jungkook and wraps his arms around his waist. "Maybe you can teach me a few lessons next time."

"Sure," Jungkook smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Soon."

Jimin kisses him and Jungkook hugs him tight. The kiss doesn't last long but it's like time stops. It always feels that way when he kisses Jungkook.

"Take care of yourself," Jungkook mumbles against his lips. He kisses the tip of Jimin's nose.

"You too," Jimin pecks him on the lips.

It takes a few minutes for them to detach themselves. They keep leaving kisses all over each other's faces, hugging each other in the middle of the street. Jungkook is on his fifth peck when Jimin giggles and pushes him away.

"I really have to go, Jungkook."

"One more," Jungkook doesn't unwrap his arms from Jimin and kisses him again. And then again. And then again.

"You've been saying one more for the past five minutes."

"One more."

Jimin laughs into the kiss and wraps his arms around his neck, burying his hands in his hair.

"You guys are gross," a voice says right beside them.

They break apart completely. Jimin wipes his wet lips with his hand and blushes when he realizes the voice belongs to Hoseok.

"Students will be here soon, they don't need to see you suck each other's faces."

"Hoseok," Jimin clears his throat. He points at Jungkook, "This is Jungkook. Jungkook this is my friend Hoseok."

"Nice to meet you," Jungkook bows and Hoseok does the same.

"Nice to finally meet you Jungkook. I've heard so much about you," Hoseok smirks.

"Oh really?" Jungkook's eyebrows raise. He turns to Jimin who's still blushing.

"Well, I've mostly heard about your sexual prowess but still."

"Thanks Hoseok," Jimin rolls his eyes. "We really have to get ready for our next classes," he says to Jungkook.

"Yes, of course," he nods, "sorry. I'm gonna go then. Um...," he hesitates, looking between Jimin and Hoseok.

Jimin gets on his tippy toes and pecks him on the lips, "Bye."

"Bye. Nice to meet you, Hoseok-ssi."

"Ah," Hoseok waves a hand, "call me hyung."

"Okay," Jungkook beams, "hyung."

Jimin and Hoseok smile at him. Jungkook waves before walking away with a spring in his step.

"He's adorable," Hoseok coos.

"I know."

"Very handsome too."

"Yep."

"Lucky bastard," Hoseok says before opening the door to the studio.

Jimin laughs and follows after him, "Jealous?"

"Nah, just happy for you."

Hoseok switches the lights on and they head to the reception desk. Hoseok looks through the mess of sticky notes stuck to the computer.

"Hyungmin and Jungil aren't coming today so you'll have eight students."

"Alright."

"How are things with Jungkook?" Hoseok asks without looking at Jimin.

"Good," Jimin hums, leaning against the desk. Hoseok raises an eyebrow at him and Jimin rolls his eyes. "We're fine. He's sweet and fun."

"But? There's a but somewhere."

Jimin sighs and rubs his hands over his face. He's tired of not knowing how to feel about Jungkook. He just wants things to be simple. He wants to spend time with Jungkook without worrying whether Jungkook is catching feelings. He doesn't want to break Jungkook's heart.

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. You smell weird. I can't tell how you're feeling, it's a mess."

"I'm a mess," Jimin chuckles.

"Aren't we all?" Hoseok smiles. "You're starting to have feelings for him, aren't you?"

"No."

Jimin's answer is too quick to be true and he knows it. He doesn't know how he feels about Jungkook but he doesn't want to think about it. It's too complicated and he doesn't to entertain something he's not ready to feel.

Hoseok stares at Jimin's blank face. He looks like he wants to say something but he doesn't want to make Jimin angry. Jimin's friends know feelings are a sensitive topic.

"You're lying to yourself and you know you are."

"I don't want to talk about this Hoseok. I don't have feelings for him and that's that."

"Fine," Hoseok shrugs but he's just indulging Jimin.

"I'm gonna go get ready for class."

Jimin doesn't wait for an answer before heading to the locker room.

Jimin doesn't want to have feelings for Jungkook so Jimin doesn't have feelings for Jungkook. That's how easy Jimin would like feelings to be, but since it's not, denial has become a very close friend of his over the years.

Denial and the voice inside his head are his closest friends. The voice sounds a lot like Jungwoo telling him he's leaving him for something better.

Something better because Jimin isn't enough.

............&............

Jimin only has to wait two days to see Jungkook again. He's wrapping up his teens contemporary class when he spots Jungkook standing behind the half window wall where parents usually wait and watch their kids dance. He smiles at Jimin when their gazes meet and Jimin returns it.

Jimin's students are catching their breath and leaving the room. Jimin walks to the speakers and unplugs his phone. It's his lunch break which is probably why Jungkook is here.

"Goodbye teacher Jimin, see you next week," the students say before leaving the room to join their parents.

"See you next week guys! Good job today," Jimin smiles and waves at them.

Once everyone is out of the room Jimin joins Jungkook in the corridor. He's holding a big plastic bad in his hands.

"I'm guessing this is lunch," Jimin points to the bag.

"Yes, I bought us sandwiches and pastries. I thought we could eat in the park."

This is such a sweet gesture. It even sounds romantic. Jimin feels special and his omega is thrilled that his alpha is taking such good care of him. It's stupid. Jimin should tell him to stop doing things like this. He should push him away not encourage him.

"I need to change first. Follow me."

Jimin heads to the locker room he shares with Hoseok. He doesn't have to turn around to know Jungkook is right behind him. He can smell him and feel his presence. His senses are so attuned to Jungkook he could probably easily spot him in a crowd.

"Hoseok hyung isn't here?" Jungkook asks as he sits on a bench while Jimin opens his locker.

"His class finished half an hour ago. He went home to Yoongi."

"He's really nice."

Jimin takes a clean shirt and pair of jeans out of his gym bag to put them on the bench. He takes his shirt off and he can feel Jungkook's eyes on his body. He doesn't feel self-conscious around him anymore. Jungkook's proven times and times again that he's attracted to Jimin and to his body. Jimin's still insecure about his stretch marks, wide hips and soft tummy but at least he knows Jungkook finds him hot.

Jimin stares at Jungkook and throws his dirty shirt on the floor. Jungkook smiles at him but that's not what Jimin wants to see. He wants to see heat in his eyes and for his scent to become stronger. Jungkook is calm and collected. Jimin doesn't like that. He wants him to look at him with hungry eyes and to pin him against the lockers. Jimin needs them to go back to what they do best. Sex.

Jimin walks up to him and straddles his lap. Jungkook startles but wraps his arms around Jimin's waist to hold him. Jimin catches his lips in a kiss and tries to convey his intentions. He wants them to fuck right here, right now. Jimin buries his hands in Jungkook's hair and tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss. Jungkook groans when Jimin pulls on his hair, his hands gripping Jimin's hips tightly.

Jimin smiles into the kiss before tonguing at Jungkook's bottom lip. Jungkook's scent turns sweeter and stronger with arousal. Jimin hums appreciatively. Their tongues meet and Jungkook runs his hands up Jimin's back. His hands are warm and soft against his skin, leaving a trail a goosebumps in their wake.

Jungkook isn't taking the lead like he usually does. He lets Jimin bite and suck on his bottom lip without protesting. Jimin is getting frustrated. He wants Jungkook to guide his hips to his crotch, he wants him to hold him so tight it bruises. He just wants Jungkook to want him. It feels like he's indulging Jimin but doesn't actually want to take this further.

Jimin grinds his ass against Jungkook's cock but he's not even hard. Jungkook chuckles against Jimin's lips and holds Jimin's hips to stop his movements. He breaks the kiss and smiles at Jimin.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing you," Jimin tries to chase after his lips but Jungkook moves back.

"It wasn't just kissing," he quirks an eyebrow up. His stupid smile doesn't leave his stupid face.

He looks amused and Jimin hates it. Jimin doesn't want him to be amused he wants Jungkook to be horny. Jimin knows it's stupid but it feels like rejection. What's so wrong with him that Jungkook doesn't want to touch him?

"Jimin?" Jungkook frowns when he smells the shift in Jimin's scent.

"What?"

"What's wrong?"

"You tell me," Jimin's voice is cold. He's getting angry and it's never good for anybody. "Do you want to fuck me or not?"

Jungkook blinks at him. He knows his next words determine whether they're about to have fight or not. His hands are still on Jimin's hips. He rubs his thumb against Jimin's skin in reassurance but it makes Jimin angrier. He doesn't need to be reassured he needs Jungkook to fuck him.

"I do," Jungkook says carefully.

"Good then fuck me."

Jimin pulls him into a kiss but Jungkook doesn't reciprocate it. His lips are barely moving and he's pushing Jimin's hips away. Jimin breaks the kiss, rolls his eyes and gets off of Jungkook's lap.

"Jimin, wait," there's urgency in Jungkook's voice. "I want to have sex with you, just not right now."

Jimin ignores him and puts his clean shirt on, "When then?"

"Whenever you're available."

"I'm available right now," Jimin glares at him. "No one's here except us and I want you to fuck me so what's wrong with right now?"

"Jimin...," Jungkook looks at him with soft eyes. "Listen-"

"What are you doing here, Jungkook?" Jimin says looking down at Jungkook. He looks small and almost fearful.

Jimin knows he's not scared of him but he's probably scared of losing him. They both know where they're supposed to stand. Jungkook is smart enough to understand not to cross that line. Or Jimin thought he was.

"I just want us to have lunch together, Jimin."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Jimin scoffs, looking up at the ceiling. He grabs his dirty shirt off of the floor and throws it on the bench.

"We fuck, Jungkook," Jimin's tone is stern.

"I know."

"I feel like you're forgetting."

"I'm not, Jimin."

Jungkook looks annoyed now and finally it feels like he's not trying to make what they have into something more. Jimin doesn't want them to pretend like what they're doing is normal for fuck buddies.

"Trust me I know exactly where we stand," Jungkook continues. "I just wanted us to do something other than sex. Should I just text you when I want to fuck then?"

"Yeah," Jimin nods, "that's what you should be doing."

"So we can't even be friends?"

"I don't want to be friends, Jungkook. I want you to fuck me."

"I already do."

"Not enough."

"That's not my fault."

"No, it's mine."

Jimin sighs and buries his head in his hands. He hates how complicated this whole thing has become. Everything was going so well until they went to Jungkook's frat house. Jimin tried to ignore the fact that what they did felt more like sex with feelings than just sex. He hates how good he felt that day and how cold and empty he felt once he left Jungkook.

Jungkook shouldn't have come up to Jimin that day and Jimin shouldn't have said yes. They shouldn't meet just because they want to spend time together. They shouldn't seek each other out so much. Jimin can't let his guard down because he has nothing to offer to Jungkook. He doesn't want to unnecessarily hurt him but he doesn't want to lose him either.

Jimin is being selfish. He knows he has to sacrifice either himself or Jungkook otherwise it's only going to get messier.

"It's no one's fault," Jungkook gets up. The softness in his voice is back and it breaks Jimin's heart. "It's just how it is."

"You should leave," Jimin says but he can't even look at him. He looks at his shoes and bites on his bottom lip, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Jimin-"

"Leave, Jungkook," Jimin can smell distress in Jungkook's scent. He has to fight against his instincts not to bury his nose in Jungkook's neck to placate his alpha.

"What about the food?" Jungkook's voice breaks.

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat."

"I can take care of myself Jungkook," Jimin sighs. "You know where the door is, you can let yourself out."

Jimin turns around to walk away but Jungkook catches his arm to stop him.

"So what? I can't come see you anymore?" Jungkook frowns. His face is like an open book and Jimin can tell he's hurting.

"We can see each other to have sex. Nothing else."

"Fine," Jungkook lets go of Jimin's arm, jaw set. "See you."

Jungkook storms out of the locker room, anger and disappointment written all over his face. Jimin leans against the lockers and slides down to the floor. He wraps his arms around his knees and tries to calm his racing heart. The front door slams shut, making Jimin jump. He squeezes his eyes shut and rests his head against the lockers.

He feels sick to his stomach and like he's going to cry. His omega is whining and clawing at Jimin's skin. It wants to get out and run after Jungkook but Jimin won't let him. He won't cry. Jimin doesn't cry anymore. Instead he breathes in and out slowly and tells himself this is for the best. This is how things are supposed to be.

When Jimin opens his eyes they fall on the bag Jungkook brought with him. Jimin can feel another lump forming in his throat. Jungkook left their food behind and Jimin knows he did it on purpose. Even when he's mad and hurt, he thinks about Jimin's well-being. Jimin's heart squeezes in his chest.

Whether it's from heartbreak or from affection, Jimin isn't sure.

............&............

Jungkook closes his eyes and lets the night air hit his face and run through his hair. The city is bustling around him but he feels lonely on the rooftop of his parking garage. Taehyung is with him but he's craving someone else's presence. Jungkook called him to hang out. He just didn't want to be alone. They're leaning against the railing of the rooftop but they still haven't uttered a single word.

Taehyung knows Jungkook like the back of his hand. He knows when Jungkook needs someone there but doesn't want to talk. Whenever Jungkook feels lost he reaches out to Taehyung because he reminds him of home. He's the only permanent thing in his life. He keeps Jungkook sane.

Jungkook is still a mess of emotions. He left Jimin hours ago and he's still shaking from their fight. His alpha is restless and has a hard time accepting Jimin's rejection. Jungkook doesn't understand what he did wrong. He just wants to spend time with Jimin and he knows Jimin wants that too. It's like they're back to square one when Jimin kept him at arm's length.

The past month they've become closer and it finally felt like Jimin was letting Jungkook in. Jimin let him come close enough for Jungkook to believe he was getting somewhere but it was just an illusion. All this time Jimin still had his guard up. He lured Jungkook in to satisfy his own selfish needs and Jungkook isn't mad at him because he's trying to do the same thing to Jimin. Their needs are just completely different.

Jungkook knows it's his own fault they fought. They had a deal. No strings attached. Jimin fulfilled his part of the deal while Jungkook became greedy.

"My courting isn't working," Jungkook says after clearing his throat. He speaks so softly Taehyung can barely hear him. "Jimin figured out I was trying to court him I think. He reminded me that we're just two people who have sex together. So, I don't really know what to do at this point."

"To be honest with you, I don't know either," Taehyung sighs. "Maybe you should just be honest with him."

"You think I should tell him about my feelings?" Jungkook looks at him. Taehyung is staring at the people walking through the streets.

"Yeah," he shrugs. Jungkook sighs.

"It won't go well."

"I know."

Jungkook's situation is complicated and he's not sure his best friend has a solution for him this time. Jungkook always goes to him when he doesn't know what to do. Taehyung gives great advice and has been guiding Jungkook through life for years. He's Jungkook's safety net. He knows that everything will be fine as long as he has Taehyung.

Jungkook relies on Taehyung more than he should. He does so without giving enough back. Taehyung always says it's okay because he's the older one but Jungkook wants to become his safety net too in the future. Jungkook's personality is influenced by Taehyung's. Jungkook isn't sure what kind of person he truly is without Taehyung.

When they moved to Seoul and Jungkook started college, he made a promise to himself. He wants to find his way in life on his own. He joined a frat because he didn't have friends other than Taehyung and he needed to have his own thing. Something that belongs only to him. Joining Alpha Sig helped him get out of his shell and it's easier for him to make friends now.

Jimin is also something that belongs to him. Something he doesn't share with Taehyung.

No matter how hard he tries to be his own person, Jungkook always comes back to Taehyung whenever things become too difficult. Taehyung always welcomes him with open arms.

"Kook, listen," Taehyung turns to him. "You don't have to do it if you don't want to. If you want to just ignore your feelings and keep doing what you guys are doing, then do it. I try to give you advice but I'm no relationship expert. It's just," he licks his lips, "it's up to you."

"What would you do if you were in my position? Be honest."

There's desperation in Jungkook's eyes, he's looking at Taehyung like he has all the answers in the world. It might be up to him but Jungkook has no idea what to do.

"I don't know baby," Taehyung tilts his head to the side and runs a hand down Jungkook's back.

"You do know. Just tell me."

"If I were you," Taehyung sighs and runs his hands down his face, "I'd be honest with him. I think he's going to reject you, but at least he'll know you have feelings for him. And you won't have to wonder, what if."

"Okay," Jungkook nods. His heart is heavy. It's not what he wanted to hear but Taehyung is nothing but always honest.

"That's what I would do," Taehyung wraps his arms around Jungkook's shoulder, "but you're you and I'm me. Do whatever you want baby."

Jungkook closes his eyes and leans against Taehyung. The scent of vanilla envelops his body like a blanket. He feels safe but still lost. Jungkook doesn't want to lose Jimin but he doesn't want to just have sex with him either. Jungkook has to decide what's best for him and what's best for them.

"I will."

He might be seven years younger than Jimin but he's still an adult.

"Thanks Tae."

"Anytime," Taehyung ruffles his hair.

Jungkook needs to act like an adult.

And so he will.

............&............

It's been two days since Jimin fought with Jungkook and he misses him already.

Jimin isn't used to craving someone's presence. His omega is restless without Jungkook. Jimin isn't mean, he doesn't like hurting people especially the ones he cares about. Jungkook has become one of those people. He's not only hurting Jungkook though, he's hurting himself too.

Jimin doesn't feel like being alone so he invited Hoseok and Seokjin over. It's late in the evening and Haewon is fast asleep in her bedroom. They opened a bottle of wine and have been chatting about this and that for the past hour. Jimin doesn't say much, it's mostly his friends who talk which is very unlike him.

He knew it wouldn't take long for them to notice his unusual silence. Seokjin stops in the middle of his sentence when he realizes Jimin is staring blankly at the black TV screen. Hoseok is sitting on the loveseat next to the couch Jimin is sat on. Seokjin decided to sit on the floor, leaning against the coffee table. The three of them are nursing a glass of red wine.

"What's wrong Jimin?" Seokjin asks. He looks serious.

Jimin blinks out of his stupor and does his best to fake a smile, "Nothing. It's nothing. Sorry, what were you saying?"

"We can tell something's wrong," Hoseok says. "Talk to us."

"I...," Jimin sighs. He doesn't want this night to turn into a pity party. He'd rather not talk about what's been bothering him. He wants to forget about it entirely. "Jungkook has been acting weird lately."

"How so?" Seokjin frowns.

"He's been very sweet," Jimin shakes his head. "I mean he's always sweet but... he bought me flowers because they reminded him of me. He came to the dance studio to invite me to lunch and paid for my food. He came by again two days ago to bring me lunch. He wanted us to eat at the park together. He's been doing all of this but refuses my advances. I just," he licks his lips, "I don't like it."

Seokjin and Hoseok share a knowing look before smiling at Jimin.

"Because it makes your heart flutter?" Seokjin jokes.

"He's adorable," Hoseok says.

"I don't understand why he's doing this. We're supposed to meet to have sex, not to spend time together."

"He might be trying to woo you," Seokjin says before taking a sip of his wine.

Jimin sighs heavily and takes a sip of his own drink. He's thought about it. Not that Jimin has a lot of experience but it looks a lot like courting.

"Why though?" Jimin shrugs.

"He might have feelings for you," Hoseok says. He knows he's entering a dangerous subject.

"He can't have feelings for me," Jimin's voice is emotionless but his heart is racing in his chest.

"Why not?" Seokjin frowns.

"You know I would have to reject him. I don't want to break his heart."

"Then don't reject him," Seokjin deadpans.

"Give him a chance," Hoseok says.

They say that as if it's that easy for Jimin. To just let someone into his life as if he didn't have Haewon to worry about. Jimin can't just invite new people in Haewon's life like that. There's no certainty as to whether Jungkook will stay. If Haewon gets attached to Jungkook then her feelings are also involved. When Jungkook leaves she'll get her heart broken too. It's not just Jimin. It's Jimin and Haewon.

"I won't," Jimin says. He feels defensive. He hates talking about this and his friends know it.

"Why do you always reject happiness?" Seokjin asks and Jimin sighs, looking away.

"Jimin," Hoseok says, "we don't want you to grow old all alone."

"Stop it. I can't. He's too young, it could never work," there's finalty in Jimin's voice. There's a lump in his throat and his eyes are starting to sting.

"You can but you won't," Seokjin says and there's anger in his voice. His anger isn't misplaced. He's angry because he cares about Jimin and hates seeing him alone. He's told Jimin so many times over the years. "You won't even try because you think your relationship will fail."

"You always expect the worst," Hoseok adds.

Jimin's hands start to shake, he wants to flee. He doesn't want to hear about how fucked up he is. It feels like an intervention, he feels cornered and like he's going to suffocate if they keep talking.

"Relationships always fail," Jimin's voice break. He clears his throat.

"That's not true," Seokjin softens his voice. "I've been happily mated for 6 years. You always say we're lucky to have a mate but it has nothing to do with luck, Jimin. We're happy because we worked for it. You refuse to let yourself be happy."

"That's not true," Jimin glares at him. He hates how right he is.

"It is," Hoseok says. "You tell yourself that the age difference is the problem but that's not it."

"He could be the perfect alpha for you but you won't even give him a chance," Seokjin continues.

"It's not about me though. It's about Haewon and how she already has to live without a dad. Jungwoo is here but he's not really here. Her heart has already been broken once. I don't want to break her heart again by being with someone who's just going to leave us," Jimin says. He puts his glass on the coffee table and buries his head in his hands.

"What if he doesn't leave?" Seokjin asks.

Jimin looks up, "He will. He'll realize he's missing out on a lot of things and he'll leave. They alway do," Jimin whispers the last part and his heart drops when he realizes what he said.

He's never voiced that out loud. It's something he's buried inside of himself for years. It's a feeling he's ashamed of. It makes him feel vulnerable and weak.

"He's not Jungwoo," Hoseok breathes out. There's sadness in his eyes. Sadness and pity.

"He's the same age Jungwoo was when he left me," Jimin spits out.

"Jimin-,"

"No," Jimin stands up from the couch, glaring at them. "I'm done talking about this. Stop telling me to give Jungkook a chance. I won't. Let it go."

"I won't let it go," Hoseok says with determination.

"Then maybe you should date him since you like him so much."

"You're being childish," Hoseok rolls his eyes.

"Leave me alone."

"Guys," Seokjin sighs.

Jimin feels like he can't breathe. He needs to be alone. He walks out of the living room and locks himself in his bedroom. He leans against the door and slides to the floor. They know not to follow him when he's like this. Jimin needs space when he's angry.

Jimin is so, so angry. He's hurting and he feels lonely. He just wants to stop feeling so damn lonely all the time. Why can't he be enough? Why can't he be happy on his own?

Denial is Jimin's biggest defense mechanism. He uses it on himself a lot. He says he doesn't want to let Jungkook in because it will affect Haewon but the truth is that he has a fear of abandonment.

Jimin would rather break his own heart than to let someone else break it.

............&............

"I want to be with you. I love you."

Jimin groans and changes channels aggressively. It's 10PM on a saturday and Jimin is bored out of his mind. Haewon is at her dad's and he's all alone in his apartment. That night Hoseok and Seokjin left Jimin's apartment, leaving him a note on the kitchen counter to apologize and to tell him they loved him. Jimin texted them the next morning to apologize as well but Jimin hasn't been able to stop thinking about what they said.

He misses Jungkook. It's been a week since they last spoke and they didn't really leave each other in good terms. It makes Jimin even more anxious. Jungkook doesn't try to text him or to initiate contact. Jimin isn't even sure Jungkook wants to see him again. He hopes, selfishly, that Jungkook misses him too.

Jimin grabs his phone and there's still nothing from Jungkook. He stares at the dark screen for a while. He's been doing that a lot lately. He waits, waits and waits for something that never comes. He could reach out to Jungkook first. He should. He's just not brave enough.

Jimin sighs and drops his phone on the couch. He ends up watching a documentary on a man who killed his entire family. It's dark and sad but it matches Jimin's mood. He's lying on his couch, buried under three blankets. The apartment is silent except for the TV and it's dark outside. The apartment is lit up by the kitchen lights. Jimin hates the silence.

Silence makes everything loud. Like the thoughts Jimin's desperately trying to ignore.

Jimin just wants Jungkook. That's all he wants. He always feels calm when Jungkook is here.

Jimin jumps when his phone buzzes. Jimin gasps and sits up when Jungkook's name lights up on the screen. It's like he heard him.

Jimin opens the message.

From daddy alpha:
hey
you didn't text me so i guess you didn't want to fuck

Jimin sighs and ignores the way his heart squeezes in his chest. He deserves it.

To daddy alpha:
hey
i was just busy

From daddy alpha:
look jimin
can we talk?

To daddy alpha:
in person?

From daddy alpha:
yes

To daddy alpha:
okay
i'm home alone so you can come over if you want

From daddy alpha:
i'll be there in 10

To daddy alpha:
okay

Jimin hurries off of the couch and grabs the mess of blankets to put them on his bed. He walks to the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror. He has dark bags under his eyes and his blonde hair is a mess atop his head. Jimin rearranges his hair and washes his face with cold water.

He heads back to the couch and waits. He flips through channels again but nothing catches his attention. He gives up after two minutes and stops on a music program. He throws the remote on the couch and bites his nails.

He doesn't know what Jungkook wants to talk about but he's hopeful. Jimin wants them to work things out and go back to what they're supposed to be. He doesn't want to lose Jungkook. A week without him was painful.

It should give Jimin more reason to end things with Jungkook. He's addicted to Jungkook and the more they spend time together the more it's going to hurt when it stops.

Jimin hops off the couch when the doorbell rings. He brushes a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath before opening the door. Jimin shivers when his eyes fall on Jungkook. He looks so handsome and the way his scent washes over Jimin feels like being wrapped in a warm hug.

"Hey," Jimin breathes out. He tries to smile but he doesn't know if it's appropriate.

"Hey."

Jimin steps aside to let Jungkook in before closing the door. Jungkook's hands are buried in the front pocket of his black sweater and he looks nervous. He looks just as tired as Jimin.

"Do you want something to drink?" Jimin asks.

"I'm fine, thank you."

They face each other in silence, not knowing what to do. Jimin wants to reach out and kiss him. He wants to feel him so bad it hurts.

"Look-"

"Do you-"

They try to speak at the same time and Jimin would laugh if it was any other situation. The atmosphere feels heavy and Jimin doesn't feel as hopeful anymore. Dread washes over him. He's waiting, with bated breath, for everything to come crumbling down.

"I was gonna say," Jimin starts, "do you want to sit down?" he points to the couch.

"No, I...," Jungkook sighs, "look, Jimin. I need to tell you something."

There it is. Jimin's breath hitches and his heart drops because he knows exactly where this is going. He can't do this. He can't.

"I know something's bothering you. I know exactly what it is actually," Jungkook licks his lips. There's a whirlwind of emotions in his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Can we have an honest talk for once. No passive aggressiveness. No bullshitting."

"Jungkook," Jimin sighs and squeezes his eyes shut, "please don't."

Jungkook takes a step forward but Jimin moves back. He doesn't want to be touched right now.

"I know you don't want to hear the truth but I need to say it," Jungkook's voice is shaky.

"Can't we just pretend?" Jimin breathes out, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Just a little bit longer."

"It's not healthy Jimin. It's not right," Jungkook shakes his head. He looks so fragile.

"I can't do this Jungkook."

"I know," Jungkook takes another step towards Jimin but Jimin hold his hands up to stop him.

"Please don't."

Jungkook sighs and his arms fall to his sides. Jimin feels trapped between Jungkook and the door. Realistically Jungkook isn't that close but Jimin still feels cornered. He didn't have time to prepare himself mentally for this. He doesn't like when things are out of his control. He's not ready to do this.

"I know I'm about to break my own heart but I still want to say it," Jungkook says. The sadness in his scent is unbearable. Jimin doesn't want him to be sad. Ever.

"I don't want to just fuck you Jimin," Jungkook continues. Jimin shakes his head but Jungkook ignores him. "I don't want to pretend like I don't want to be more to you."

Jimin wraps his arms around himself and looks down at his feet. He's losing Jungkook tonight and they both know it. The last time he saw Jungkook they fought. The last memory he has with Jungkook is them hurting each other in the locker room of his dance studio.

"I have feelings for you Jimin," Jungkook's voice break on the last word. "Real genuine feelings."

Jimin wishes Jungkook had done this after they made love at his frat house. At least they would have parted on a good memory. Jimin feels like he's going to be sick.

"I think you're incredible. I'm talking about all of you, not just your body or the fantasy of you. I'm talking about you as a person. A strong, independent and beautiful person. There's so much I could say about you," Jungkook chuckles, "only good things. But I don't want to overwhelm you."

Jimin wants to cry. He can't look at Jungkook. He can't believe Jungkook is worried about overwhelming him in a moment like this. Jimin's never met someone as selfless as Jungkook. Jimin hates to break such a wonderful man's heart.

"I just want you to know that I have a lot of respect for you," Jungkook clears his throat. He sounds so emotional, Jimin doesn't know how he's not crying right now. "I wish you'd stop overthinking so much and that you'd just give me a chance. I know you won't. I know Jimin."

Jungkook is so strong. He's so vulnerable but so strong. Jimin could never show this much emotion in front of anybody. Jungkook wears his heart on his sleeve, exactly like a man who's never had to suffer through heartbreak.

"But if you gave me a chance I could treat you so well. I could be so good to you. I would try my hardest to keep you happy. I just wish you'd give me a chance to show you. I wish you'd give us a chance."

Jimin looks up and he wishes he didn't. Jungkook is tearing up and he's a second away from breaking down. Jimin hates this situation so much. He hates himself even more.

"Jungkook, I can't," Jimin shakes his head. "I won't."

"I know," Jungkook tries to smile but it looks like a grimace.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Jimin's voice breaks and he swallows the lump in his throat.

The room smells like sadness and distress. Jimin's omega is trying to claw its way out of Jimin's head. Jimin feels like he's suffocating. He can feel tears coming but he tries to blink them away. He doesn't cry. He won't cry.

"I just want you to be honest with me."

"I don't want more," Jimin hurries to say.

"That's a lie."

"It's not Jungkook," Jimin shakes his head. It's half a lie.

"Yes it is," Jungkook nods. "Wanna know what I think?"

"No."

Jungkook takes a step forward. He looks desperate and like he wants to cage Jimin in to make him listen. If Jimin could he'd cover his ears and close his eyes to pretend like this isn't happening. He doesn't want to hear what Jungkook thinks because he knows it's going to hurt like hell.

"Too bad, I'll tell you anyway," Jungkook says determinedly. "I think you want more too. I think you have feelings for me."

Jimin shakes his head and takes a step back. He looks away. His heart is going to beat out of his chest.

"I think you're scared I'll be like Jungwoo."

Jimin gasps and walks back until his back hits the door. No, no, no. Jungkook can't know. He can't know how weak Jimin is, he can't know about Jimin's demons. This is something he keeps hidden. This is the deepest and darkest part of Jimin that he doesn't want anyone to see.

"I think you want me bad," Jungkook holds Jimin's gaze. "Really fucking bad. But you've given up on yourself and on your happiness years ago. I think Jungwoo took a piece of you when he left."

Jimin shakes his head and stares at Jungkook, silently begging him to stop. Jungkook is picking his brain apart. Jimin's hands are shaking and his stomach turns. He wants to cry so bad but he can't. He won't.

"You'll never get that piece back if you don't try to take it back, Jimin."

"Please stop," Jimin breathes out.

"You can't be happy if you can't be honest with yourself."

"We could never work Jungkook. You're too young. You'll get bored of me."

"You use my age as an easy way out but it has nothing to do with that. I might be seven years younger than you but I know what I want and I'm honest with myself. I knew you'd reject me and I still chose to tell you how I feel."

Jungkook is braver than Jimin could ever be. He doesn't run away from pain like Jimin has been doing for years.

"Your truth is that you feel the same way about me but you're scared of being abandoned."

Jimin needs space, he can't breathe. He pushes past Jungkook and takes a deep breath. Jungkook turns to look at him. Jimin paces around the living room, trying his best to calm his beating heart.

"I hate that you can read me so well," Jimin spits out. "It feels like you're in my fucking brain sometimes and I fucking hate that. I hate that you can put words on how I fell when I can't even do it myself. I hate that I'm fucking terrified and I hate that I'm gonna reject you."

Jimin turns to face Jungkook and glares at him, "But I am Jungkook. I can't do this and I hate that I can't."

Jungkook walks closer and Jimin doesn't move away this time.

"Just try. Please. Give me a chance," Jungkook looks desperate. He reaches a hand to touch Jimin but Jimin shakes his head.

"I can't Jungkook. I'm really fucking sorry but I just can't go through this again. It took me years to rebuild myself. I can't give someone the power to break me again. No matter how well you mean and how much I want you. I just can't."

A tear escapes Jimin's eyes but he quickly wipes it away. No. He won't cry. He promised himself he wouldn't cry anymore when he got over Jungwoo. He's not weak.

Jungkook stares at him like he's trying to find something that will make Jimin change his mind, but he knows Jimin is stubborn. This is a losing battle.

"Okay," he breathes out. He still hasn't cried. He's so strong.

"We can't see each other anymore Jungkook. I'm really sorry."

"I know," Jungkook looks down. "It's okay."

It's not okay. None of this is okay. None of them are okay.

"Just tell me one last thing," Jungkook looks up and stares deep into Jimin's eyes.

"What?"

"Do you have feelings for me?"

Jimin's breath hitches. It doesn't matter how Jimin feels because it won't make a difference. What's the point of knowing? It's only going to hurt more. Jimin wants to lie, to make things easier but Jungkook said they had to be honest. Jimin doesn't want to disappoint Jungkook anymore than he already has.

"I do."

"Tell me."

"Jungkook," Jimin shakes his head.

"Say it please," Jungkook whispers, voice shaky.

"I have feelings for you," Jimin says. His heart breaks. Everything hurts so bad.

"Thank you," Jungkook says it like it actually makes him feel better. "I'll always be here for you. I'll wait for you."

"Don't Jungkook. You'll wait forever."

"Then I'll wait forever," he sounds determined.

"Jungkook..."

Jungkook walks up to him and brings him into a tight hug. Jimin gasps in surprise but he wraps his arms around Jungkook's waist anyway. Jimin buries his nose in Jungkook's neck and inhales his scent one last time. His omega howls in pain, cries out to Jimin, begging him to tell Jungkook to stay. Jimin fists Jungkook's sweater and he's not sure he can let go.

"Please take care of yourself," Jungkook whispers against Jimin's hair.

"I'm sorry Jungkook," Jimin hugs him tighter. "I'm so fucking sorry. You deserve so much better. You deserve the world. Please, take good care of your heart."

Jungkook kisses the top of his head before cupping his face. They stare at each other for what feels like forever, communicating without uttering a single word. Jimin hopes Jungkook can read how sorry he is in his eyes. He hopes he can see how much he cares about him and how much he wishes things were different.

Jungkook leaves one long kiss on Jimin's forehead before whispering "Goodbye Jimin."

Jimin squeezes his eyes shut and chokes on a broken sob. It almost hurts as much as it did when Jungwoo told him he wasn't enough to make him happy. Jungkook lets go of Jimin and walks out of the apartment without looking back.

He takes a piece of Jimin with him too.

A piece of himself Jimin gave up on.