When Jungkook opened his eyes the first thing that he saw was the dashboard of Seokjin's car and his feet up on it. Bare feet, his boots must have been somewhere else. Probably under the seat where he would have stashed them last night before sleeping. The blanket had been covering him but at some point in his sleep it had slipped down and now his feet were cold and he hated it. He shifted so that he could lower his legs onto the seat and then dragged the blanket over them. He felt the most pressing urge to warm them up and so he sat upright in the seat and placed his hands on them. Warm hands on his freezing cold skin. Jungkook didn't feel tired exactly but there was a heaviness about him, mostly in his head and around his eyes. He didn't really want to keep them open but he forced himself to do so as he carried on slowly rubbing at his cold feet. Why was it so cold right now? Jungkook turned his head to look at the window and that was when he saw that it was open to let in air, meaning that it also let in the cold. He stared at the view out of the window for a moment in mild confusion, seeing a stretch of sand and the high rocky bluffs. Then he turned his head to look out of the front window and he saw the sea right in front of them. The water was still lapping up against the tires with a soft sound rather than a roar and he could see that the waves were a little choppy this morning.

The sky over the water was a dull grey like cigarette smoke and there was a thick white foam clinging to each wave as it rose and fell. He eyed the heavy clouds on the horizon and then he slipped a hand free from the blanket so that he could press the button and roll the window up. At least the freezing cold wind wasn't bleeding in and making him shiver from the cold. Jungkook shifted on the seat and then looked to his side to see that Seokjin was sleeping in the driver-seat, just like always. He was wearing his pullover and his arms were folded over his chest, the long sleeve ends pulled over his fingers to keep them warm. His head was placed against the window and he looked to be deep in his sleep so Jungkook glanced over his shoulder at the backseat.

Yoongi and Jimin were lying on it of course, where they had been last night. The pair of them were mostly lying on the seat, Jimin with his upper body over Yoongi's and their legs tangled together. Looked comfortable even though he knew that it would be cramped as hell. The others were in the back, lying in the flatbed: Namjoon, Taehyung and Hoseok. He couldn't see them from his position in the front of the car but to check on them he would have to get up and leave. It was warmer inside than out, and the idea of stepping outside was enough to make him sink down deeper into the seat.

The dashboard clock said that it was 5am and yet here he was, awake after just a bare few hours of sleep. It felt more like a nap to him but he actually didn't feel bad at all. Maybe he could just sink down and fall asleep again but he didn't really feel like it, so instead he pulled his hand free from the blanket again and reached over to pop the dashboard compartment open. Inside of it were a stash of Polaroids that he had stored away, just for safekeeping. He wasn't sure if he wanted these ones in the photo album just yet or whether he wanted them for himself. He had gotten a small collection together of everyone, even if they weren't the most clearest shots of his friends; just a hint of their face or a little blurred. Jungkook didn't know why but he wanted a photograph of them all. He had countless ones on his phone but they weren't the same as physical shots that he could hold in his fingers and stick to his wall or inside of his wallet. They were just pictures behind a now cracked screen, not that special at all.

Jungkook pulled them free and checked them over slowly, smile playing at the corners of his lips as he looked at each one in turn. Here was one of Namjoon's profile as he looked out across the water at the meteor shower, another of Jimin trying to create the campfire with a look on intense concentration on his face and Yoongi visible just to the side of his head. The next was one of Hoseok leaning over the side of the flatbed with his arms dangling, not aware that he had taken a shot of him for he was looking off elsewhere. The consequent two were of Yoongi's fingers as he thumbed open a packet of cigarettes and then a shot more or less of his lower face with the stick between his lips; eyes half-lidded on the Polaroid so that all he could see were a hint of his lashes and lids from the top of the shot. Then one of Taehyung from behind standing on the shore right by the tide, only visible because of the illumination from the moon and the meteors. Then one of him tracing characters into the sand with a chunk of rotted driftwood, mouth parted slightly as he did. The one shot he had of Seokjin was his friend sitting in the seat like he was now, turned back slightly to laugh at something that either Namjoon or he had said earlier in the day.

The final shot was of Taehyung kissing his cheek from the lighthouse. When he studied it he thought that he could see a hint of surprise in his eyes even when he had been caught in the middle of his smile, the corners of Taehyung's lips lifted up even though he was pouting his lips out to kiss him. Jungkook gently ran his thumb along the white paper frame at the bottom of the Polaroid and then he shifted on the seat so that he could reach into his back pocket and pull his wallet free. It was a battered thing but he still carried it on him at all times even when the others insisted on paying for things so he didn't have to. Always telling him that he didn't have a job because of school and that he shouldn't spend the cash that he did have so recklessly. He flipped it open and then he eyed the empty plastic compartment before slipping the Polaroid in. It just about fit though he had to be very careful to not bend the corners by accident whilst he slipped it in. Satisfied that it looked good he once again shoved his wallet into his jeans back pocket and settled back down on the seat.

More crashing waves sounding through the open back windows, the softest caw of gulls that were hovering over the water in lazy formations. Jungkook watched them circle and swoop down but never reach the actual waves before feeling the most pressing urge to get out of the car. He didn't know what it was but he just needed to do so and so he slowly pulled the blanket down and then he popped the door open. Climbing out of the car he was hit by a chilly breeze and he let out a little gasp of surprise. The soil was wet on his bare feet and he felt it squelching in a rather unpleasant way. Jungkook grimaced and considering grabbing his boots but it seemed rather pointless now, now that his feet were already coated in soggy sand. He left the door open and walked around the front of the car so that he could wander close to the water. The tide had pulled back for a moment so he took advantage by getting closer to the shore. The faintest remains of the message that Taehyung had carved into the sand was still there but it had been obscured by the waves so that it was no longer legible. Like a faded pencil mark on paper or the smudge of ink across the back of the hand.

Jungkook cocked his head and studied it and he had just started to make out the words when the tide came surging back towards him. He stumbled back a few feet in surprise but the water still managed to wash over his feet. It was freezing cold and he let out a yelp and nearly tripped over his feet to get away from it. The seagulls let out similar high-pitched squawks and he couldn't help but laugh as he managed to recover and not fall on his ass. It rescued the seat of his jeans from getting soaked at least. Jungkook found a spot on the sand that wouldn't get touched by the tide and then he took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he glanced over the waters at the lighthouse. It was just standing there, solitary and unshaken in the midst of the sea slamming against the bluffs. After a moment of silent study he decided to go back over to the car and check the flatbed. He didn't go around the back exactly to climb in but rather just grabbed the side and hefted himself over. He expected to land on top of his friends because of this, the perfect way to wake them up. He did not expect his knees to land on the bare metallic flooring and for him to find the back of the flatbed almost empty.

Jungkook threw his arms out so that he didn't topple forward and hit his head on the flooring and then he looked up sharply to see that Namjoon was lying in the very top corner of the back, against the window but slumped down so low that he wasn't visible from inside the car. He had his back to him and he looked to be as deeply asleep as the rest of his friends. Yet the rest of the flatbed contained only bags and messily strewn blankets. He felt a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't shake. Taehyung and Hoseok were supposed to be in the back with Namjoon but they weren't. So where were they? Had they maybe wandered off at some point in the night for privacy like the other night? Had they maybe...run away? The thought was enough to make him feel a little nauseous as he swung his legs over the side and felt his bare feet touching down on the hard-packed sand. He went around the side of the car to look in the back and be sure but of course it was just Yoongi and Jimin lying curled up on each other, Seokjin in the front driver-seat with his head lolled against the window.

Where the fuck had they gone exactly?

Jungkook furrowed his brow as he turned his head and looked out across the sea. Today was the day that they were meant to be leaving Taean County. Had Taehyung gotten an idea in his head that he didn't want to go and had ran off...had maybe dragged Hoseok off with him? It was possible but where exactly would they go? Back to the home? Onto the streets? No, that didn't seem right to him. Hoseok wouldn't be foolish enough to hit the streets now, not the way they both were. Taehyung was too flighty and unstable to be left alone with and he was too deep in his depression to possibly agree to doing something like that. Something that required both energy and optimism. No, they wouldn't have ran off together like that, so where exactly had they gone?

Jungkook couldn't see anything on the sand at all, no footprints that were whole or even the lingering remains. With the tide having come in it meant that any possible footprints would have been washed free hours ago. There was no trail for him to follow and he furrowed his brow as he glanced over the beach. Nothing. No sight of anything at all and he didn't like it. Should he wake his friends up? But what should he say exactly? Should he just...go for a walk around the beach and the bluffs and see if he found them instead? They could be there he supposed, and it was then that he recalled the guard house on the boardwalk. Jimin had pulled at the plywood on the front and had loosened it quite a bit when they had visited it. Had they maybe went over the bluffs and went into the house? It made perfect sense to him and so he moved away from the car and crossed the beach instead, making his way over to the rocky outcrop that would get him close to the lighthouse.

The air was still misty and rather chill and he felt it sinking down into his bones as he started climbing up the rocky hillock. It was enough to make his fingers numb as he grabbed hold of the jutting edges of rocks and slowly made his way up to the very top. It was trickier than it had been now that the soil was damp under the soles of his feet and he wondered how the hell Hoseok and Taehyung had gotten up here last night if that was the case. It seemed dangerous, like dangerous enough for one of them to slip and get hurt. Of course Taehyung would probably get up here without a single problem, he never fell no matter what.

Jungkook felt his fingers nicking on a sharp chunk and he cursed under his breath as he lifted his hand to his mouth, sticking his fingers in instinctively. He tasted blood and soil and grimaced and spat out in disgust. Not his best idea. After some more struggling he managed to get to the top of the bluff and he wiped his hands on the thighs of his jeans as he glanced over the sight in front of him.

The boardwalk stretched out into the sea and the guard house was to the right and closer to him, the lighthouse the left and further down the length of wood. What he saw was that the guard house was still closed up, wooden boards secured in place just like they had been when they had left several days ago. The lighthouse however was not closed. The door was wide open and he stared at the doorway and felt the most ominous wave start to swell up to the back of his throat. Looking at the shadows in the doorway, that blackness, he felt it was like looking at the gullet of a shark; the splinters of wood caught at the bottom and the sides of the door like teeth. Maybe it had just been left wide open because Taehyung had broken it that day and so it wouldn't close now? Whatever the case Jungkook started walking down the other side to get to the boardwalk. The soil shifted under him and he stumbled down but luckily didn't fall on his ass. His feet hit the wood with a loud thumping sound and he nearly bit his tongue in surprise.

Jungkook stopped and took a few steadying breaths as he looked over the boardwalk. For some reason his heart was going a little too fast in his chest, not racing but rather just too quick. It created a sensation that made him feel anxious, made his hands shake ever so slightly at his sides and his teeth chatter. That could have been the cold but he didn't think that it was. No, Jungkook thought that he was anxious because he was scared and he didn't know why he was. It just seemed to be there, lingering in his stomach like a trap waiting for spring on him and really set his heart racing. He stuck his tongue out to wet his lips and a gust of cold wind blew in from the sea and splashed water up to hit against the balusters. The scent of salt and brine hit him in the face and he started walking along the boardwalk, shoving his hands into his bomber pockets as he did to stop them from shaking. Just cold, that was all it was.

The worn wood felt unpleasant against his bare feet and he thought that he would probably end up with splinters. It wasn't nice at all walking along them but it was too late to think about now he had gotten over the bluff and left his boots behind in the car like an idiot. As he crossed the boardwalk the roaring waves seemed to get louder and he was certain that he heard the wind wailing now too, just to set him more on edge. He passed the guard house and he eyed it just to be sure before pulling a hand free and tugging on the board. It shifted with a wooden groan but it was still in place. Jungkook let go and rubbed his fingers on his jeans before walking the last few feet to get to the lighthouse.

The horrible black entrance was just in front of him, beckoning that he step inside.

Jungkook swallowed a lump in his throat and took a cautious step inside, feet now brushing against cold and dusty concrete rather than splintery wood. He scanned the ground-floor to see nothing amiss, nothing at all that showed him that his friend had moved in here for the night to sleep. The temptation to bite on his lower lip was so great that he didn't even try and stop himself as he lifted his head and looked up at the grey-tinged light coming in from the chink in the open roof. Would they be up there? Would they have really went up there last night? Maybe the skies had still been lit up after the shower and they had wanted to look at it together, like most normal couples would do? He could go up there right now and find them lying together, limbs tangled up and very much asleep like the rest of his friends but something deep in his bones said that that was not the case.

Taehyung had said that the lighthouse was a great place to go for a date...but he had also jumped about joking off of it too.

Jungkook crossed the ground-floor and he made his way over to the staircase before slowly ascending them. They creaked under his weight just like they had the first time that he had walked up them and he tried to not wince every time they did but it was hard not to. The noise was just so loud in the current silence that he found himself almost walking on tiptoe to make sure that he didn't make the steps creak. It was childish but he couldn't help himself. It seemed to take a lot longer than he remembered to get to the top of the stairs and so when he finally did he sighed in relief.

The first thing that Jungkook saw was the sight of the metal railings and the steel grey sky right in front of him. No sight of the sea, he would have to walk closer to see the water down there. But he wasn't up here to sightsee he was here to look for his friends and so he dropped his gaze to look at the canopy floor in front of him. His gaze settled on a sprawled out body and judging from the sight of the checkered shirt it was Hoseok. He was lying on his stomach and Jungkook stared at him in confusion for a moment. Hoseok was on his own, lying up here on the lighthouse flooring and Taehyung wasn't with him. He wasn't lying on his side in his lover's arm, or conversely with his arms around him. No, he was lying in a rather ungraceful mess on the floor. Jungkook lifted his eyes and glanced over the canopy just to be sure but Taehyung was nowhere in sight and so he glanced back at his other friend.

That was when he saw the bottle of pills lying on the floor just a few feet away and his stomach literally dropped. He was certain that he felt it hit the floor and it might just have fallen out of his body.

Jungkook stumbled across the canopy and then he was falling to his knees right beside him, hand reaching out to grab at his friend. His fingers snagged hold of his upper arm and the material was cold to the touch; almost damp. He had been lying up here all night in the exposed air, it was no wonder that he was damp and cold. When he rolled him onto his side he saw a puddle of vomit and most of it was down the front of his shirt too, on his chin and neck.

"Hoseok? Hey Hoseok, wake up man, hey-" Jungkook squeezed his hand down and shook him hard. His friend didn't exactly move more just rocked from his shaking. "Oh shit, oh shit Hoseok wake up." There was something close to noise, he was certain of it. He was certain that Hoseok had made a noise through his slack lips and so Jungkook dropped his head to the front of his shirt and pressed his cheek against his chest. The tacky sensation and scent of vomit didn't even faze him because he was too busy praying that he heard something moving in there, that he heard a heartbeat. As he tried to listen he reached over and grabbed his wrist. It was too thin, so very thin in his grip that he felt like he was holding onto a child instead of his friend. He pressed his thumb down and actually held his breath to try and stop his own pulse from confusing him.

He couldn't feel a thing.

Jungkook let go of his wrist and instead stretched his arm up so that he could dig his fore and middle finger into his neck, right into the side under his jaw. After a few dreadful seconds of nothing he felt it: the slightest hint of a pulse against his fingers. Jungkook let out a noise that was trapped between a sigh and a moan as he moved to lean over his face. He grabbed his cheeks in his hands and sure enough when he leaned close he could feel breath on his skin. It was only weak but it was better than nothing. Hoseok was breathing and he had a pulse: he was alive.

"Hoseok, hey Hoseok." He pulled up on one of his eyelids with his thumb and saw that his eye had rolled up so that only a hint of brown was showing at the very edges of his eye socket.

"Tuh...Tae...?"

"No, no it's not Tae it's Kookie," Jungkook explained as he watched his brow shift ever so slightly, nothing more than a soft lift and fall. "It's Kookie Hoseok."

"Wuh...nuh...of them." He shifted his gaze over to look at the empty bottle of pills, the ones that had been in Yoongi's bag all of this time. Now the container was empty, the lid popped up and the contents a puddle of vomit all over his friend and the floor. "Fuh...up Tuh...Tae."

"No, no you didn't fuck up. You're here Hoseok, you didn't fuck up." Jungkook let go of his cheek and reached up to brush his hair back off of his brow with shaking fingers. "No man, you didn't fuck up." He was aware that he was babbling at him but he couldn't stop himself. His hands were shaking so bad and he could feel that his throat had restricted, so that breathing was very hard to do. "No you didn't, OK? Don't say that shit, don't-"

"Wuh...wanted to duh-die Kuh...Kookie," Hoseok managed to say, lips moving ever so slightly and eyes rolling under his mostly closed lids.

"Hoseok, shit Hoseok just- just wait I'll be back I'll get help just," Jungkook let go of him and shifted to sit back. After a second of thought he shrugged his bomber off and placed it over him like a blanket to try and retain heat of some kind. He was so frozen and damp, he needed to try and make sure that he was warm at least. Then he staggered to his feet and turned on his heel to race across the canopy. Running down the staircase he had to hold onto both the banister and lean against the wall because he was terrified that he would slip and fall down them. The spiraling path of wooden steps seemed to stretch forever and how he didn't end up misjudging a step and rolling all of the way down to the bottom with a broken arm or neck he didn't know. All he knew was that the soles of his feet didn't seem to even touch the steps and he was breathing so fast that he could hear his inhales and exhales as loud as shouts in his ears. Getting down them actually seemed a lot quicker than it had getting up them but that was no surprise. He was running this time around he supposed.

"Guys! Shit guys! Fuck! " Jungkook shouted as he burst out of the lighthouse. He knew that the others wouldn't even hear him from his distance but it didn't matter because he couldn't stop the shouts from escaping. He could feel something at the back of his throat and he didn't know if it was his gorge or his heart, having leapt up to nearly choke him to death. He scrabbled up the slope to get back over to the other side, slipping and scraping his palms and knees and bare feet terribly on the juts of rock as he did and as he reached the top he heard voices echoing from down the side of the beach; confused and worried voices. Jungkook darted down the bluff and he felt his ankle twisting under his weight but luckily he didn't trip. If he had he might just have hit his head on one of the rocks hard enough to injure himself. By the time he got to the bottom however his ankle was throbbing so he must have strained it.

"Guys! Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!"

"Kookie what the hell is going on?!" Yoongi called from the open backseat door, leaning out of it to yell at him. From their distance he looked half-asleep and Jungkook stopped racing to try and catch his breath. He was shaking so badly that it was a miracle he could stand.

"Huh-Hoseok! In the lighthouse! Fuh-fucking overdosed on the puh-pills! Suh-sleeping pills!" Jungkook managed to shout. "Huh-he's uh-OK I think I duh-dunno man I just-"

Yoongi flew out of the car so fast that it was almost impossible to believe; his friend racing across the stretch of beach before Namjoon even had time to climb over the side of the flatbed. Jungkook's knees gave in on him as Jimin rolled out of the back and landed on the sand in a jumble of limbs and a grunt of pain. He had to place his hands on the sand to support his upper body because he was convinced that he would fall face first onto the ground if he didn't. His arms weren't strong enough to support him that well however, for they started shaking. His wrists felt like they were made from mere twigs and that they would snap. Shit his entire body felt like it was a twig and that he was going to snap under the current pressure that he was under. Yoongi and Namjoon shot past him in the direction of the bluffs and neither of them stopped to help him up, to ask him what had happened. No, it was Jimin that dropped to his knees in front of him and grabbed his shoulders tightly.

"Kookie what happened, what...what's going on?"

"I duh-dunno," Jungkook gasped, from a mixture of breathlessness and fear. "Juh-just Huh-Hoseok and Tae wuh-weren't in the cuh-car so I went to luh-look and-" He took a deep breath and held it before hearing it escaping his pulled back lips in a whine. "Huh-Hoseok at the tuh-top, puh-pills. Suh-saw pills ah-ah-and-" Jimin grabbed hold of his face tightly in his hands and told him to breathe, that he needed to breathe because he was going to have a panic attack. But Jungkook couldn't, his lungs were restricted so much so that he couldn't seem to pull even a slight amount of air in. "Vuh-vomit. I tuh-think he vomited them uh-up I dunno man I juh-just- he wuh-was lying there."

In the current still air he could hear the sound of footsteps pounding along the boardwalk and that signaled that Yoongi or Namjoon had at least managed to breach the bluffs and get onto the other side, maybe both. The sound was like that of gunshots and Jungkook just closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath. He could feel his eyelids stinging and he was certain that there were tears waiting to spill. Tears from what? Fear or something else? Jimin's thumbs were digging into his cheeks tightly and he could feel them pressing into his skin, almost down deep enough to his teeth.

"Shit Kookie, look at me. Look at me OK?" He struggled to open his eyes and saw Jimin leaning forward in front of him, head cocked on an angle to hold his gaze. His expression showed that he was scared too but he was trying his hardest to not let it get to him. He was staying calm for his sake. How strange this was, this sudden reversal of positions. Just a year ago it had been Jimin that would have been sobbing on the ground, in a motel room or a ditch somewhere on the side of a road. Yet here he was holding onto his face and Jungkook was as grateful as he was shocked by this sudden juxtaposition.

"Puh-pills Jimin."

"I know, I know but he was awake, right? He was conscious?"

"Yuh-yeah, he spoke tuh-to me."

"Then he's gonna be OK," Jimin said, and his voice sounded so steady that Jungkook almost believed him. "He's gonna be OK Kookie."

"Where's Tae?" Seokjin asked as he twisted to look over the beach, head swiveling every which way to try and locate him. He had also jumped out of the car and his hair and clothing was a mess; ruffled and creased.

"He wuh...wasn't in the lighthuh-house," Jungkook explained as he reached up to rub at his cheeks. He swallowed hard and felt his chest hitching as he did. "Juh-just Hosuh-seok was."

"...Shit." Seokjin turned back to look at him and in that moment he saw what true fear looked like. But he saw something else, something that looked like his friend had been hit by a revelation. Jungkook struggled back upright, having to knock Jimin's hands free as he did. He wasn't at all steady on his feet but he couldn't just sit there and cry. He wasn't a baby and right now there were most important matters at hand than him.

"He's gotta be around here somewhere," Jimin said as he shifted to look across the beach. Just like him and Seokjin his eyes ran over it but there was nothing to see, no signs left behind to let them know where he had gone.

From the bluffs behind them Jungkook could hear voices and that meant that their friends had left the lighthouse, then the pounding on the boardwalk again. Jungkook turned to look and after a moment he saw Namjoon's head appearing over the top. Their friend struggled to his knees and then he was turning his back and presumably helping Yoongi and Hoseok. It took some effort but he dragged him up and then down the treacherous slope.

"Where's Tae?!" Namjoon called as he reached up and grabbed Yoongi's upper arm to help him down the last of the hill. Hoseok was on his back, arms dangling and his head hidden against the side of his neck. None of them could give him a reply to the question however, because none of them knew.

"Let's get him in the car," Seokjin replied as he raced over to them. He grabbed at Hoseok's head to turn his face and look at him and made a noise under his breath. "He's freezing to death, the heating should help."

"Stupid fucking pills," Yoongi cursed breathlessly. "Couldn't kill yourself with ten bottles they ain't the strong shit, never mind half a bottle. The fuck was he trying to do?"

"Kill himself," Namjoon retorted. "That's what he was trying to do."

Jungkook watched the three of them darting past, semi-conscious Hoseok in tow. They headed straight for the car and yet Jimin didn't. His friend stayed beside him, fingers worrying at the neckline of his tee in a frantically nervous way. He could see that the sight of Hoseok had calmed him down but only slightly. No, just like him Jimin was more terrified about the fact that they didn't know where Taehyung. They knew that Hoseok was violently ill but he was conscious and now in safe hands. But Taehyung...?

"Juh-Jimin, help me." Jungkook shifted his weight onto his bad ankle and he felt a throb of pain as a result. His friend asked him what he meant by that, turning away from their friends to look at him. "Gotta find Tae. Help me get back over the hill."

"But you said that he wasn't-"

"Just help me check, please." He heard himself pleading again, that horribly whiny sound in his voice. But it worked for Jimin studied his face for a second before grabbing hold of his arm and helping support his weight. "He's gotta be somewhere. Maybe I missed him in my panic or something?"

"Kookie, maybe he-"

"So we've gotta check again," he continued over his friend. "Just to be sure."

Getting up the rocky hill was a little harder than it had been earlier but Jungkook was so determined to do so that the pain didn't mean a thing to him. Eventually to help Jimin out he told him to go up ahead of him and check the lighthouse. His friend did as he told and he almost bounded up the hill without an injury, causing a faint tinge of jealousy in him. Jungkook just dropped his attention back up his hands and feet to make sure that he didn't slip again. When he got to the top he saw that Jimin was nowhere in sight and do he slowly descended the hill to get to the boardwalk.

" Tae ?!" Jimin's voice echoed from the lighthouse, amplified because of the stone walls. " Hey Tae, where are you ?!"

"Shit Tae, just answer. Please just answer," Jungkook muttered under his breath as he glanced over the stretch of the beach. There was no reply of course, because Taehyung wasn't here. He was either miles and miles away or...

He wanted to move but he couldn't seem to do that. He was frozen to the spot and Jungkook was aware of the fact that he was panicking again. His lungs were actually hurting in his chest and he had his fingers tightly rolled up into fists at his side. The temptation to lash out at something, anything that he could smash his knuckles into was so great that he couldn't resist it.

So Jungkook whirled around and he pounded his fists against the wall of the bluff. Not his knuckles at first, just the side of his fists over and over until he was doing so hard enough to feel the impact at the back of his teeth. After one particularly hard pound he was certain that he felt his skin splitting and the sight of blood smearing on the white rock finally made him stop. He was gasping for breath and he felt clammy and sick.

"He's not in there Kookie!" Jimin called as he stepped out of the lighthouse. "I checked everywhere, I even checked over the railings!" Over the railings? As in...the rocks down below? Jungkook dragged his eyes away from the bluff to look over at him and he was certain that he saw something out of the corner of his eye. "What about the guard house?!"

"It's..." Jungkook paused for a second and went blank. He had just thought of something but Jimin's question had caught him by surprise and so he had looked up at him. "It's still locked up! He can't be inside!" Jungkook dropped his gaze again and he scanned the sight in front of him, more than certain that he had seen something. "Not with the boards still in-"

There, just underneath the boardwalk where there was perhaps a foot or two of room between the ground and the wood, Jungkook could see a hand. A pale and still hand just like a starfish on the sand.

"Jimin! He's here! I found him!" Jungkook shouted as he raced across the sand and dropped to his knees. He didn't even think he just darted forward, hitting his head and back hard on the boardwalk so that he could crawl under to grab hold of him and drag him out.

The first thing that he was aware of was how cold and wet his denim jacket was when his fingers sank down into the material. The second thing was how heavy he was and how hard a struggle it was to pull him out. Jimin was running as fast as he could and his footsteps felt and sounded like thunder to Jungkook's ears from under the boardwalk. After another hard tug, his friend's boots scraping in the soaking wet sand he managed to pull him mostly out. Looking down at Taehyung's he saw his soaking wet hair, sand and beads of water trapped in the lengths. His friend's head lolled back and that was when Jungkook noticed that his lips were blue and his eyes half-lidded.

"Holy shit! Holy fuck!" Jimin pounced off the boardwalk and stumbled to land just a few feet away with a jarring thumping sound. Jungkook gave another hard tug and out came Taehyung's legs. His boots left deep trenches in the sand and he remained limp in his arms. Jimin crawled forward and grabbed hold of his face. "Tae, hey Tae? Wake up man, wake up." He lightly slapped at both cheeks with his hands. "C'mon, don't do this to us brother."

"Check for a puh-pulse," Jungkook said, wrapping his arms around his freezing cold body. It didn't matter that his clothing got soaked through right now. "Check his throat." Jimin did as he told him to and after a few dreadful seconds he squeaked that he had a pulse; that he could feel something. "Are you sure? Did you-"

Taehyung's head jerked and he made a choking noise before retching up a rather pitiful dribble of water. Jungkook could feel his entire body shaking in his arms and there was a funny sound coming from him. It took him a moment to realise that he was moaning and his teeth were chattering together.

"Get him on my back!" Jimin twisted around. "We gotta get him in the car now!"

Hoseok was in the passenger-seat. Their friends had placed him in there so he could be in front of the heating system. It was to warm him up and yet there was another problem much bigger than that. The problem was a barely alive Taehyung currently up on Jimin's back; soaked through to his skin from the sea. He was so far gone that his eyes were rolled up under his eyelids, which were discoloured like bruises, and he was so limp he jostled which every step.

"Jesus Christ!" Yoongi shouted at the sight of them. "What the fuck?!"

"Kookie found him under the boardwalk," Jimin thankfully explained, saving him the trouble of trying to explain. Jungkook didn't think that he could possibly speak right now. "He must've jumped after Hoseok swallowed the pills like a kinda-"

"Suicide pact," Seokjin finished for him. "Shit, get him in the back." Jimin darted across the last stretch of sand and then the others were helping him lower Taehyung so that they could get him into the car. Jungkook couldn't even run after him because of his twisted ankle. He just had to hobble along the beach instead. "Tae? Tae?"

"Is he breathing?" Yoongi tried to check through the door but the rest of them were blocking the view. "Shit, is he breathing?"

"Yeah Yoongi, yeah he's breathing," Jimin confirmed as he shifted to let Namjoon check on him. He grabbed his lover's upper arms and gently guided him towards the front of the car. "He's breathing, so you need to breathe OK?" Yoongi rapidly declared that he was breathing even though he sounded like he was choking as he did. Jungkook managed to get to the car and he went around the other side of the car to pull the door open.

"I think...fuck, I think he's got hypothermia," Namjoon said, hands still holding onto Taehyung's head as he studied his face, hunkered over him. "We need to get him to the hospital right now. Him and Hoseok." He moved out of the way and Jimin moved to drop to his knees by Taehyung's head. He started drying at his soaked hair with Namjoon's hoodie.

"Nuh-nuh-no," Taehyung wheezed at them. "Duh-dun do that. Duh-"

"Tae we need to get to the hospital," Jimin explained, fingers working through his hair. "You're really sick right now, OK. You need to go to the hospital so-"

"Luh-let me duh-die puh...please."

For a few seconds they all stared at him, with the exception of a Hoseok who was still slumped in the front seat. Jungkook studied his face and then looked up at his friends. Jimin was gnawing on his lower lip as he dried his hair, hands shaking terribly as he did. Seokjin was leaning over him and looking down at Taehyung with a hard to read expression. To his side was Namjoon and he shifted to move out of the doorway at his words. Yoongi spared a quick glance inside and then he also moved away, hands going up to grab at his hair.

"The blankets, get him in the blankets," Seokjin ordered and so Jungkook shifted to grab them from the flatbed and then he was throwing them over Taehyung. He had to climb into the backseat and straddle his lower legs so that he could pull them up over his chest and try and get them up to his chin. On the other side of the car Jimin was hastily trying to dry his hair, rubbing at the short lengths frantically as if that would change a thing.

"I juh-just wanna duh-die," Taehyung said, teeth chattering and body shuddering under Jungkook. "Duh-dun take muh...to the huh-huh-spital."

"Kookie pull your legs in," Yoongi ordered as he ran around to his side of the car. He had just shifted to sit on Taehyung's lower legs when the door slammed shut behind him. That would help trap the heat inside and so Jimin stopped drying his hair and instead moved to close his door over. Jungkook was now in the car with Taehyung and Hoseok but he could hear his friends talking from the crack in the driver-seat window.

"He's gonna die if we don't get him to the hospital," Namjoon explained. "He's got hypothermia, he's been in the water for so long now he should be fucking dead already. We need to take him to the hospital now."

"I...I don't think I can do that," Seokjin replied in a quiet voice.

"Gimme the keys Jin, if you don't think you can drive. I'll risk it, I'll happily risk getting arrested for driving without a license but we gotta-"

"That's not what I meant Joonie," he interrupted, talking over him. "I don't know if we should take him to the hospital." Jungkook shifted to look out the window at them and he saw that his friends were standing in a loose grouping a few feet away from the car. Seokjin had his back to him and he could see Namjoon clearly. To his side was Yoongi, worrying at his hair with shaking hands and Jimin was sitting on the sand by Seokjin's feet.

"Jin what are...you're not seriously suggesting that we let him die ?" Seokjin rapidly muttered that he didn't know what he was thinking. "Gimme the keys."

"No."

"Jin, this isn't the time to be fucking around give me the fucking keys!"

"Guys," Jungkook leaned closer to the open front window to try and get them to hear him. "Call an ambulance. You can..." But they weren't listening to him right now, they were too busy arguing about whether or not they should listen to what Taehyung had requested; about how cruel Seokjin was being. They seemed to be focusing on everything other than the important fact at hand, and that was that Taehyung was dying.

"You don't think this is hurting me Joonie? Well it is!" Seokjin yelled, stabbing at his chest with his fingers as he did.

Jungkook felt his throat constructing even tighter than it was if that was even possible. Seokjin was shouting and this never happened. This wasn't even like Yoongi and his yelling at Taehyung that horrible day. He had heard Yoongi shouting before, just never at them and rather someone else. But Seokjin? Jungkook had never heard him raise his voice in anything more than excited cheers or scared concern, never like this. This was fear and anger and so much more all rolled up into one and he just knew that he was going to start crying again.

"I've done everything that I can, I always have! For so many years - for near thirteen years I have known Tae I have tried! Not a day hasn't gone by in those years when I haven't tried to help him!"

"Please," Jungkook tried to interject, "please stop fighting and-"

"Do you think that this isn't hurting me right now?! I'm in fucking agony Joonie but this...this is out of my hands now!"

"We can't just let him die Jin," Namjoon said in a low voice, as if he didn't want them to hear. As if they hadn't figured it all out already. "I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen."

"Think about his future," Seokjin argued back and it was at that point that Jungkook turned away from the window to look at Taehyung. He couldn't breathe and he wondered if this was what he was feeling too. This horrible pressure on his chest that made breathing sheer agony. He reached over to touch his cheek and despite everything he was still freezing cold to the touch. Even inside the car he couldn't block out their arguing. "Think about his life. Stop thinking about everything else. Think of Tae ."

"I am thinking of Tae," Namjoon retorted. "I'm thinking of saving his fucking life right now!"

"Are you saving it? Are you helping him? Or are you condemning him again? Are you making him suffer all over again?"

"I'm gonna to stop the suffering! He needs help right now! That's the suffering that I'm stopping!"

"I'm not talking about this Joonie, this pain right now. I mean everything ." Seokjin empathised this word and Jungkook could imagine him sweeping an arm out. "Have you not thought about why he did this in the first place?"

"'Cos of Hoseok."

"No, no Hoseok was only a part of this Joonie. He was just the push. Tae did this because he didn't want to go back. He wanted to die here. It was his plan all along and he brought us here so he could do it." Seokjin's words cut Jungkook down to the bone and that was when he started crying again. "We couldn't stop him. We weren't supposed to stop him. Tae wanted this."

"You think letting him die...you think it's a mercy," Yoongi said after a moment of thought. His voice was low and gave nothing away.

"Duh...duh-dun cry Kuh-" Taehyung's jaw was chattering that bad that he could barely get his words out between his teeth. He rolled his eyes upward in a mixture of confused frustration and sheer disorientation. "Kookuh-kie. Puh-puh...lease."

"Tae, yuh-you're gonna duh-die and-"

"Nuh-nuh-know duh."

"You duh-don't want muh-me to fucking cry ?" Jungkook couldn't tell if he shook his head to say no or if it was just a another spasm. "He's not duh-dead Tae, Hosuh-seok is aluh-live."

"Guh-guh-" Taehyung let out a wheeze and squeezed his eyes shut. " Good. I cuh-can suh-suh-see him anee-nee-way." Jungkook didn't know what he meant by this but he couldn't ask him. It would be too hard for him to possibly explain now, now he could barely speak. "Uh...see uh-all of yuh-you so it's...OK."

"Tae, you nuh..." Jungkook took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down so that he could get his words out. "You need to tell me, ruh-right now. Do you wuh-wanna go to the hospital or...or..."

"I nuh-nuh-never wanted tuh-to grow uh-up Kookie, I duh-didn't." Taehyung let out a noise that could have passed for a sob, chest jerking as he did. "I nuh-never got to buh-be a fuh-kuh-ing kid. It wuh-was stolen fuh...from me I just wanted-"

Jungkook shifted and he didn't so much as sit but rather lay on his friend. At this point it was rather pointless but he still wanted to share his warmth with him anyway. He didn't like hearing that that rattling sound through his ribs however, that hideous gasp and wheeze that was his lungs trying to work. Jungkook grabbed hold of his hand within his own. His fingers were so cold and weak that he could barely keep a grip on his hand but he knew that Taehyung was trying.

"I juh-just wuh-wanted to be a kuh-kid."

"Tae, do you wanna...die?"

"...Yuh-yeah."

Jungkook stared at the back of the passenger-seat rather than lift his head to look at his friend. From outside he could hear the others arguing still, raised and heated voices as they carried on debating on the ethics of Taehyung's life. Seokjin was adamant that Taehyung wanted to die and he was correct. He was arguing that at this point it was for the best to just let go of him, because that was what he wanted. Namjoon however was certain that they couldn't do that because Taehyung wasn't in the right mental state to make such a decision. This was something that Yoongi had also voiced agreement with but Jimin seemed stuck. It had likely been the words "mercy" and "suffering" that had gotten him confused because he knew that Jimin would rather suffer than see Taehyung suffer. Namjoon had a good point but he was missing one rather important fact.

Jungkook wondered if Taehyung had ever really been in the right mental state and he knew what the answer was.

In the front Hoseok was still slumped back in the seat. He couldn't tell if he was conscious and hearing all of this or unconscious. Jungkook was desperately hoping for the second to save him the pain but he didn't want anything to happen to Taehyung without him knowing.

Taehyung was going to die and Hoseok wouldn't even been awake to do a single thing.

"Kuh..."

"Yeah Tae?" Jungkook asked to save him the trouble of trying to speak. He lifted his head to look at him and Taehyung's eyes were half-lidded and empty.

"I tuh...I'm going...I nuh-need-"

"What? What'd you need Tae?" Jungkook asked, heart stopping in his chest. When he blinked he felt the tears running down his cheeks but didn't really feel his eyes burning.

"Nuh-need yuh to...to kuh...keep 'em to...together bruh-brother."

"Keep? I don't-"

"Fuh-family nuh...need...you're the luh-link Kookie. Keep..."

"I'll keep them together Tae, I promise."

"Luh...love you Kookie." Jungkook wanted to respond to this but he couldn't. The words he was trying to say came out of his mouth in a strangled whine instead.

"Guys?" He twisted to lean over and pressed the window button, sticking his head out the gap. But it was no use because they were all still fighting. Right now Yoongi was between Seokjin and Namjoon holding them apart with both arms and yelling. Jimin was still sitting on the sand with his knees hugged to his chest and a blank expression on his face.

"...killing each other ain't gonna help you fucking-"

"Guys?!"

"no time for talking this shit out we've gotta-"

" Guys! " Jungkook screamed over them, voice hoarse and cracked as he did. But it worked for they all stopped talking instantly, plunging the beach into a hideous silence that was cold and still. "It duh-doesn't matter now. It duh-doesn't fuh...fucking matter."

For whilst they had all been warring with one another over what to do, their friend had let his breath out and Jungkook had felt his fingers loosening in his grip. He had finally slipped away.

Taehyung was dead.

Jungkook stared at the hollow space in the bluff in front of him. It had taken a lot effort to remove the rocks and debris and they had searched the length to try and find something usable. He hadn't expected that they would find anything useful and rather be left searching for hours but they had. It had been on the side where the lighthouse was that Yoongi had managed to find what looked like an alcove in the bluff. Both he and Seokjin had needed to drag away a rather large chunk of rock to open the alcove up.

It wasn't exactly a large space. It looked small and cramped and made Jungkook feel rather faint looking at it. But it would serve them use. It didn't need to be spacious or comfortable. Not for what they needed it for.

There were just the three of them standing on the beach: Jungkook, Seokjin and Yoongi. The others were in the car. Namjoon had refused to get out, without words but rather just silent and unmoving. Jimin was in the back with Hoseok, currently using his lap as a pillow for their friend. Jimin hadn't stopped crying, soft sobbing as he pulled on the neckline of his tee or at his hair, as he gnawed at his lips and fingers. Hoseok however, hadn't cried a single tear. No, he was just lying on the backseat with a hollowness to his expression. Jungkook knew what that expression meant. It was shock. Hoseok was so deeply in shock and he probably wasn't going to snap out of it again.

He had been hoping to die yet he had survived. Had Hoseok really known that Taehyung would jump from the top of the lighthouse after he had overdosed? Had they made a suicide pact or had Taehyung simply snapped and threw himself over the side; convinced that Hoseok would die? If he had just waited, if he had just ran down to tell them what had happened, then Taehyung would still be alive right now. Both of them would. But Taehyung had finally lost the last part of him that had been rational and sane and he had decided that killing himself was his only choice.

Jungkook just hoped that there really was nothing. No other side. He hoped that everything had just went black and Taehyung had just ceased to be. It was the only way for him to find the peace that he had longed for for so long now.

Yoongi reached up to rub at his brow with his forearm and it was a good attempt at hiding the fact he was actually wiping at his eyes. Jungkook could see that he was shaking and it wasn't just from the cold air coming in from the sea. They were all shaking to some degree, even Seokjin though he tried to hide it by crossing his arms over his chest.

"He wanted this," Seokjin said in a quiet voice. Reassuring them that this had been something that had been out of their hands, that it wasn't their fault. "He wanted to die. It was wrong to let him die but it was also wrong to try and save him."

"Save him?" Yoongi scoffed but the sound was something close to a broken sob. "Shit Jin we couldn't have saved him. He'd have died before we got to the hospital, or before the ambulance crew got here. We were just too fucking late."

"We weren't supposed to find him," Seokjin explained in that same soft voice. "He was supposed to be washed out to sea. That was what Tae had wanted, what he had been planning this entire time." Yoongi just sniffed and started gnawing on his quivering lip. "Just a little later, if Kookie had woken up just a few minutes later and he would have been dead."

Jungkook almost wished that that had happened. It would have made things a lot more simpler than it was now. There would have been no warring over his life, just the problem at hand now. Except that would have meant that Taehyung would have died alone under the boardwalk behind them: alone and cold and scared. Finding him meant that he had at least been able to hold his hand when he had slipped away, and that was something that Jungkook would never forget. That small comfort had been something, and Taehyung had deserved it after everything that he had been through.

"He said that he didn't want to grow old, or leave here," Jungkook said, battered hands fiddling with the cuffs of his bomber jacket. "He got his wish..." He turned away from the bluff and instead looked at Taehyung. Their friend was wrapped up under the blankets and he could see the vaguest shape of his face under the thin materials.

"We should've..." Yoongi stopped talking and he took a few stumbling steps so that he could pace up and down on the sand. "We should've stayed in fucking Seoul. We should've reported this. We should've-" he stumbled and landed on his knees with a loud thumping sound and he didn't even try and get back upright. Too late for such thoughts now. It was much too late for that. "I can't...I just-"

Seokjin told him to go back to the car, that he didn't need to do this if he didn't want to. Yoongi just stared at his hands unblinkingly and didn't move. Jungkook tried to imagine what it was like for them all right now but he couldn't. He couldn't even really register his own feelings right now. He felt as cold and as numb as the wind blowing in from the sea and he wondered if this was what Taehyung felt right now. But then he remembered that Taehyung couldn't feel anything. Maybe it was closer to Hoseok. After a few seconds Seokjin moved to grab hold of him and he pulled him to his feet. Yoongi wobbled on unsteady legs but he didn't fall again.

"I'm sorry," Yoongi said in a voice barely above a whisper. It wasn't clear if he was saying sorry to them or to Taehyung. Either would have been fitting. Then he walked off and left the pair of them to finish what they had started.

Jungkook was faintly aware of the fact that he was once again hiding a dead body. First Taehyung's father, stabbed to death and buried in the garden of the family home. Now Taehyung himself, dead from exposure and going into a cliff side grave. Father and son, both dead from avoidable situations; both buried by their hands. Seokjin didn't try and stop him this time, didn't tell him that he wasn't allowed near the body. He had already held his hand in the car, it seemed pointless to stop him now.

Seokjin hunkered down beside Taehyung and he reached down so that he could lift him up. Their friend's body was limp in his arms and it was almost as if he was sleeping. As if he would carry him over to the car and gently lay him down on the flatbed, as if he would wake up in a few hours time with a sleepy but wide smile still on his face. But Jungkook knew that that would never happen. He stayed rooted to the spot and watched Seokjin carry him over to the rock wall. He had to drop to his knees and to get him into the alcove, gently placing him down and then crawling back out. His friend stayed there for a moment, on his knees just staring into the alcove as if he was waiting for something. But nothing happened of course. The only sound they could hear was the wind blowing in from the sea and Yoongi's boots crunching in the sand.

"Kookie?" Jungkook made a soft noise to let him know that he was listening. "You understand why...why this happened don't you?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, I understand. I asked Tae and he told me that he wanted to die. We couldn't have saved him, it was already too late. He wanted to die, he had nothing to live for when he...he jumped. He didn't know about Hoseok." Jungkook stopped pulling at his jacket cuffs and turned his head to look at the sea. "He didn't want to go to Seoul. He didn't want to go through it all again he...he suffered to end his suffering."

"Yes, yes he suffered and now he's not suffering anymore," Seokjin shifted to get to his feet and moved to seize hold of one of the large rocks.

"Wait." Jungkook grabbed Seokjin's arm tight for a second and then let go. "Wait, there's still something I have to do." He moved to drop to his knees in front of the cliff grave and he managed to get his upper body into the space so that he could reach over and slip the blanket free. Jungkook revealed most of his face, and then he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Taehyung's brow. His skin was so smooth and soft but cold against his lips. His breath left his lungs in a soft sigh and he saw his still damp hair ruffling from it.

Taehyung had always joked about needing a bedtime kiss before he could sleep. Always aiming it at Hoseok when he had. Hoseok couldn't give him one now though, so Jungkook had taken that responsibility upon himself. Taehyung could sleep now, could sleep peacefully forever now he had gotten that kiss.

Jungkook fixed the blanket back in place and dragged himself back out of the grave. His hands were shaking again and shifting the rocks back in the way to block the alcove off was so very hard. He kept losing his grip, his arms kept wobbling so he couldn't push. But eventually they managed to seal it off so that the alcove was no longer in view.

Taehyung had gotten his wishes. He had never become an adult and he never had to leave Taean County now.

Jungkook had to ride in the flatbed alone for the rest of his friends were inside the car. He didn't mind at all because it meant that he could just curl up on the metallic flooring and not have to say or do anything. No, Jungkook just pulled Taehyung's backpack close so that he could wrap his arms around it and press his face against it. There was still his scent trapped in the material, the material that he had started soaking with his tears. The car engine sounded after a while and he felt it pulling away from the beach. Heading back in the direction of the road like it had meant to do all along, with them all in tow. They were leaving the beach behind.

They were leaving Taehyung behind.

At some point Jungkook passed out but he didn't really register when. He just knew that he had gotten so heavy and tired that he had just simply slipped into unconsciousness and when he next opened his eyes it was dark. Night had fallen and the flatbed flooring was still vibrating underneath him. He shifted to sit upright and stared across the vast expanse of a road stretching out behind them; a wide road with fields on either side. He glanced over the flatbed to see no one present, just him like earlier.

Jungkook turned his head to look at the field and he recalled that night that seemed an eternity ago. The night that they had all walked along the side of the road in the field and Taehyung had heard the train; had raced through the grass. He almost expected to see him running through the field beside their vehicle hollering at the tops of his lungs but he wasn't. Jungkook shifted to lie back down on the flatbed and stare up at the sky.

Overhead there were no burning meteor trains lighting up the blackness but just a light scattering of stars. Jungkook stared at them and then shifted his gaze along to look at one particular star that was brighter than the rest. It was a sharp glint of bluish white light nestled in amongst the others and it took him a moment of study before he realised that he wasn't looking at a star. He was looking up at a planet.

Venus was high in the sky above them. Venus, the thing that had brought them all together on the adventure last year; the thing that Taehyung had so desperately wanted to show them all. Looking up at Venus Jungkook almost felt like he was looking up at him instead. Taehyung was up there and he was looking down on them.

"Tae, I'm sorry," Jungkook said as he looked up at Venus. "I'm so fucking sorry." The car carried on rolling down the road and yet Venus stayed in place above him. "We wanted to help. We did but...but we fucked it all up." He got no reply to this of course, but he didn't need one. All he needed to do was finish the promise that he had never got to say to him earlier. "Tae, I'm gonna keep my promise OK? I'm gonna keep them together. I'm gonna keep our family together.

"I love you brother."