"We both went back to the guild together. Nobody knew what to think. Some of them were just happy to see me alive but others were more skeptical of how I was. Erza was one of them. I could tell she was resistant. At first it was like she wasn't sure if it was really me, but after a few weeks she was just relieved to see me back."

Not even a trace of happiness is left in him, and I'm afraid to hear what took it all away.

"While we were gone, Levy had become pregnant. Five months after we returned she was giving birth. You were there with her because Gajeel was too nervous and excited to be any help."

His gaze looks to the ceiling and his voice comes out mournful.

"After she had given birth to a baby girl you were holding her hand to comfort her..."

Natsu pauses and keeps his eyes up, almost looking dazed.

"And she died."

My lip trembles and my fingers dig into my skin to keep tears from falling. A strange feeling of obligation keeps me from stopping him and the pain that his story brings, though.

"You messed with life and death, decided who would live...so you were cursed. The curse of Ankhseram. The curse of immortality and contradiction. The more you love life, the more it takes away."

He recites it without falter, as if it's been read or said by him countless times, ingrained into his head.

"You loved life, Lucy."

A pain grabs at my chest.

Loved.

"So you ran away. You ran before anyone had really grasped what had happened, before I had the chance to stop you. You left and hid somewhere deep in seclusion in hopes of nobody finding you, but of course we didn't stop looking until we did. I spent every waking second trying to find you."

His hands close into fists and open again.

"Two years went by before we found you. Back then that seemed like ages. You were hidden deep in the middle of a great forest. A large area in the middle was completely dead, the ground and trees lifeless and gray. Two years of you being there killed everything within almost a mile radius of you."

I can see the pain from all of the death he's seen flash in his eyes and I have to divert my eyes away from them.

"Happy and I found you with your knees to your chest, face down with your hair falling around you...who knows exactly how long you had just sat there like that without moving."

My eyes get pulled back up to meet his when I hear the despair in his next words

"You kept telling us to go away, begged us to leave."

Disdain and anger latches onto his voice and I cringe.

"But when did I ever give up?"

He looks down at both of his hands as he says his next words, his eyes wide and crazy.

"I didn't leave and before we knew it a black light had started to grow around you and it didn't stop. It spread across everything around you...it engulfed us."

His hands close into fists. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Happy died that day, his little body fell to the ground with a thump and he never got back up."

He opens his eyes and looks at both of his hands.

"It wasn't until a couple of years later that I finally realized why I hadn't died too."

He sighs, dropping his hands into his lap and letting his head fall back against the side of the bed.

"The guild lived on. The pain of the people we had lost-"

Because of me.

"-was still there, but we all managed to keep going and the guild was still a home for us. After a few years went by, I started to notice a change in the people around me. It was a change that everybody saw that I lacked."

He chuckles to himself.

"Your spell worked...a little too well. You not only brought me back to life, but made it to where I would never die again. I was immortal. I stopped aging. As everyone in the guild grew older, I was stuck behind them...always. There was a distance between me and everybody else after you left. It was too big for me to cross, and quite frankly, I just didn't want to try. I was trapped where I was. Everybody moved forward, grew up, but I never did."

His voice is low and heavy with the weight of the past.

"You were gone for a long time from everything except our memories. Everybody started families and moved forward. Twenty years. That's how long it took for you to lose yourself. Almost twenty years after running into you in the forest rumors started to surface.Tales of a girl in a forest who brought death to anyone who dared to enter made their way to Magnolia. Some called you a demon, others a witch, but we knew it was you."

He shakes his head and looks at the ceiling, tears threatening to break free from his eyes again.

"I should have done something then, but I didn't. I stayed where I was, convincing myself there was nothing I could do. Maybe I could have saved you from the darkness...but it's too late to know now."

He looks at me and I can see the question in his eyes, but he can't even convince himself that I wasn't too far gone.

"60 years after you had brought me back to life, almost everybody that you know now had died. The guild was still full. Everybody had started families and had kids who had their own kids. I never did. I never found anybody or started a family. All of my time away from the guild was taken over by thoughts and nightmares of you, Lucy."

All I am to him now is a terrible memory that he wants to erase, a nightmare that only brings pain.

"You were famous by then. Everybody feared you. You had your own army and your own kingdom that you had built yourself. You were far away, though, not even in the kingdom of Fiore. You had almost taken over the neighboring country of Caelum. Nobody knew who you really were and I certainly didn't tell anybody. I kept Fairy Tail out of it. For most of Fiore you were scary but far enough away that they didn't really worry about it. I was probably one of the only ones who really feared what would happen."

Natsu knew the pattern. He's seen what someone with the curse can do. The damage that they can inflict.

"People may not have known who you were or where you came from, but what they did know was the similarity between you and the Black Wizard Zeref that most had only ever read about or been told stories...you and me were probably two of the few people alive that had ever actually seen him and the destruction he caused."

His eyes harden, making a chill run down my spine.

"They called you the Reborn Black Wizard. They didn't know how you came to be, only the power that you wielded, the army at your side and your lack of hesitation to kill."

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Ew...I do not like the wattpad update