January 2020 — back to the present

I woke up in the silky sheets of Ted's bedroom when the light of day got through the curtains. At some point in the night he'd left, so I was alone.

I'm scared of being alone.

I looked around me, at the walls covered in posters of bands— P!Disco; Queen; Clean Bandit— of sports stars and video games characters. It was a characteristic room for a seventeen year old guy with dreams.

Very movie like.

I sat up, my morning grogginess already clearing up. I'd have to tell my friends soon about the whole my-mother-was-killed-because-she-knew-to-much thing and I wasn't looking forward to that discussion.

Ted had understood, but Ted is Ted. He's like the perfect understanding guy, not everyone is like him.

I took a deep breath and exited the room, slowly making my way to the stairs, trying to avoid the places of the floor I knew would 'crack'. The stairwell walls were decorated with loads of pictures of Ted as a kid and his siblings.

Downstairs, my friend was laying peacefully on the couch, his beautiful eyes closed. He heard my not so stealthy steps in the stairs and his eyes fluttered open, making his gorgeous brown pupils search for me for a short time.

" Hey" he said, still groggy and half asleep

I smiled uneasily.

"Hi. Sorry I woke you up."

As he had just woken up, his brown hair was messy and his eyes still struggled to make out my figure. He passed a hand in his messy hair and smiled gleefully.

" You didn't really, it's no biggie. I... Um. We said you didn't have to tell them right away, right?

— Yeah. I don't know if...

— I didn't mean to make you doubt. You can take whatever time you want, I know you're anxious to leave, I'm sorry if I'm holding you back."

He seemed genuinely sorry and worried about me and I didn't like it. I didn't want to make him worry, I just wanted everything to go back to the simpler times. But I couldn't, not anymore.

He got up and came towards me, his muscular self looking like a just-hoped-out-of-bed greek god. I felt my cheeks warm up and I looked away. How awkward was it to like your best friend that way?

" Ava.."

His eyes searched for mine in the semi-darkness of the living room. He was closer to me than usual, towering over me like some sort of brick wall.

" We never got to talk about what happened at the Christmas party."

I shrugged my shoulders. The Christmas party had been an eventful night I'd rather forget about. I had been recklessly drunk and on the brink of falling apart. No need to reminisce about that.

" We don't need to talk about it."

His smile stayed on his beautiful lips, and his eyes glanced a little too long at mine.

" Yes, we do. It was something... important to me. Maybe you don't feel the same way but—

— My mother died, Ted. I don't want to talk about anything except how the hell I'm getting out of this hellhole of a town. I'm sorry, but we'll have this conversation another time." I snapped; my voice colder than I intended it to be

Ted took the blow without showing any hurt and stepped away.

" Let's get you some breakfast."