Nicolas was right when he said Brynn was scared, but scared was an understatement. She was having a full on panic attack. Her breath was heavy and she was crying and huffing and impossible to reassure. Jami looked desperate when they saw us arrive.

« Brynn? » I said softly, approaching her

Her head snapped towards me and I saw that her eyes were red and puffy. She'd been crying. I felt a pinch of guilt, but I brushed it off. I needed to focus on my friend.

« You're okay. No one is going to hurt you, I promise. »

I knew very damn well that I couldn't promise such a thing, but her emotional state broke my heart into pieces and I simply had to do something about it. She was clenching her jaw, trying not to cry.

« Did you see anything outside? » I asked gently, as if I were talking to a child. I was walking on very thin ice, here.

Brynn's eyes flickered to the window leading to the garden. Outside, it was foggy. It was difficult to see if anyone was there, and we couldn't risk going outside. I took that as a No.

« I know you're scared, B. But nothing will happen to you. They are here for me. I won't let them hurt you. »

As I spoke, I realized how much I meant it. I wasn't going to let my innocent friends die. A plan started appearing in my mind. Ted wouldn't like it, but it was for him too. Maybe it took great sacrifice to make things right.

Maybe if I died they'd live.

Maybe that was all it took. It's probably what my mother would've done. I love her so much, it hurts me still. I'll be with her wherever dead people go.

« But... But they want to kill all the... The people... who... know.. » Brynn cried, a little less panicky than before.

I tried thinking of an answer, an appropriate one. Yes, they probably wanted to. But not if I distracted them. If I went outside, Brynn, Jami and... And Ted could run out another way and live.

That's all I wanted. I wanted them to live. Things weren't high school anymore. That switch had been turned off long before, when I saw the principal calmly lie about my mother's mental health.

I remember how the second someone made a meme or talked about the 'message of death', we wouldn't see them when they went home. It's like they never even existed. Nancy had been offed when she'd been drinking, and it went so under the radar no one even realized she wasn't there anymore.

The Virus itself was nothing, barely a message that arrived in people's computers and phones. I hadn't had it, but many people did, mainly people who worked in suspect industries, where they could easily start talking.

And it made sense suddenly. The Virus soon would go and you'd forget about it. The Virus probably spied on you and told the federals all about your activities, and then they could spy on your friends when they dared talk about the Virus.

It was a perfectly logical way of functioning, demonic and maniacal, sure but very logical. Control comes from knowledge of the opponent, after all.

« They won't kill you, because I'll give you an opportunity to run. » I finally announced, feeling Ted's hard stare on my back. He wouldn't like it. He was going to try to stop me.

It dawned on me that Nicolas was out of the picture right now. We were only us three, and I didn't want Nicolas to not know about the plan, even though he tried to hurt me and actually did earlier.

« Ava what are you talking about? » Jami asked, their little angelic face covered in apparent worry

Here we go again.

« I'm not letting you guys die. I put you in this mess—

— That was Nicolas crazy talking, Av'! Don't tell me you're actually considering this! It's suicide!

— I'm doing this for you to, Ted. I can't live with myself knowing that I didn't at least try. I'm not the hero of this story. I need to do something to deserve being seen as someone who helped.

— You're the hero of my story, Ava. If you die... I...

— You'll survive Teddy. » my eyes watered a little bit « I believe in you. »

During my speech, I had turned towards him, admiring his beautiful features once more. He was such a tall guy, with his beautiful hazel eyes and brown hair. He had this golden glow to his tan skin and his soft Spanish accent was so attractive...

I came close to him, gently putting my hand on his forearm. His eyes were searching into mine, and the power of the moment filled my heart with joy.

« Whatever you do, don't be reckless, okay? You lead the guys out of here. You know this town by heart, especially this street. You don't try to save me, okay, don't be a hero. You focus on you and B and Jayjay and Nick. Understood?

— Ava I...

— Understood? » I repeated urgently « I need you to tell me you'll do this. please.

— OK. Understood... »

His hazel eyes were filled with gloom and tears were starting to roll down his cheeks. I felt my heart squeeze. I was doing the right thing. This was the right freaking thing. I could do this. Okay? Okay.

He put his hands on my waist and pulled me against him. He bent down to stick a kiss on my cheek.

« Why do you have to do this... We're here for you. I don't mind going down with you... » he whispered in my ear

I know I though, I know and that's the problem. I can't let you do that.

« Because I love you. You can't die for me. »

He squeezed me against him, his chest going up and down: he was crying. I'd known this guy for years, and he was rarely emotional. Now it was different, like ninety percent of things from life.

« I love you too, Ava Wilson... And that's why I also hate you and your ideas right now... »

I gently pulled away from his tight grip and instead put my hands around his neck, whilst I was on my tippy toes. His eyes were wet and lost their flame. His smile was there, thin as can be, but it wasn't the bubbly one, the cheery one, the smile that made me think of a teddy bear.

No, Ted stopped being a Teddy Bear a long time ago.

He gently lowered his head, his lips inches away from mine. He smelt like peppermint, probably because he chewed on gum or something. I took a deep breath, trying to remember his scent. I wanted it engraved in my mind for when I'd leave.

I wanted him to be my last thought.

He closed the distance between our mouths and my stomach butterflies started to party. Still no dramatic music filled the room, no one cheered, no end credits appeared, no miracle solution made its way into my mind.

The kiss tasted like goodbye. It was passionate, his lips firmly onto mine, his hands clenching my waist as if I might suddenly disappear into thin air. I took in his love, putting it away in a side of my heart, hoping it'd make me do the right thing.

I knew I had to die to save them. It was either me or them, and I wouldn't be the last one standing, no way.

I wonder what we would've qualified my life if it were a story. Would it have been a romance? With it's ups and downs and more ups and more downs. Would it have been a young adult one, with the discovery of myself and the losses and cries of a hurt teenager?

Would it have been an action one? No. A thriller? Maybe. It was in between all of these different genres. But I'm no character. This is real, too real, and I'm scared.

Finally he pulled away from me. Behind us, Brynn and Jami had stopped talking, probably in tears or just plainly shocked.