A/N: To the loyal readers of this book—you've given me so much with your dedication and enthusiasm for a story that is dear to my heart. This is the second to the last chapter of the first part. At this point, I'm thinking of grouping the two together so people can smoothly continue on with Cassandra and Sebastian's lovestory so don't despair. It's not over yet. LOL!

Please vote and comment. As always, they keep me inspired to keep writing. I hope you like this chapter. It's one of my favorites.

***

I felt him before I saw him.

A small smile curved on the corner of my mouth as the slow, lazy caress of Sebastian’s lips along my neck registered. 

My back was pressed against his warm solid body and our legs were tangled together under the covers that only came up to our waist. His arm was draped over my waist, his hand full of my left breast.

His fingers were gently tugging at my nipple, his hips lightly pushing against my bottom, his erection hot, hard and heavy against the bare cheeks.

“If this is how you plan to wake me in the morning, we may never get out of bed,” I murmured, wiggling slightly to allow him to slip another arm under me. His hand switched with the other at my breasts, the freed one now moving down the slopes of my belly to rest between my legs.

“Possibly.” His lips dipped behind my left ear, his tongue tracing the curve and sending a ripple of sensation down my spine. “I can’t seem to get enough of you.”

I cracked open one eye and spied the time on the alarm clock next to the bed.

Five-thirty.

Pale, pinkish morning light was seeping through the gaps between the curtains, illuminating the room softly.

I couldn’t remember what time we drifted off after Sebastian carried me back to the bed after our bath.

He wanted me to sleep and rest until the soreness subsided which I thought was really sweet of him.

Apparently, a few hours was the most he could manage.

I parted my legs and let his hand slip down further, quickly discovering the evidence of my own stirring desire.

“I want you again, Cassandra,” he whispered, his fingers sliding deep inside me. “Can you take me?”

“Yes,” I whispered back, gasping at the loss of his fingers when he pulled them out. 

I felt him shift behind me and I choked out a cry at the sudden thrust of his cock between my legs from behind that drove him home in one stroke.

There was only a slight sting from the rawness on my skin between my thighs but it quickly subsided when he slipped a hand under my left knee to raise my leg, supporting its weight as he plunged in and out of me.

His movement had acquired a roughness that betrayed his fraying control.

“I’ve been watching you sleep,” he rasped into my ear. “Gazing at your beautiful, naked body. Wondering how I managed to keep away from you all this time. Clutching myself hard so I wouldn’t ram myself into you while you’re sleeping peacefully.”

I flushed at his words even though they fueled the heat that was spreading throughout my body.

With a sudden burst of strength I didn’t know I had, I swept my body over his to pin him down beneath me as I pulled myself up and twisted around to face him, never once losing my wet grip on his cock.

“Damn, Cassandra,” he breathed as he leaned back and watched me hover above him.

I gripped his elbows for support as I followed the tune of my body and found myself lowering my hips over his rigid organ. I gasped at the fullness and I clenched my insides together to feel every hard inch of him, tearing a tortured cry from his lips.

He clutched my hips and pushed me up until only the head of his cock remained in me before hurtling me back down just as he arched up his pelvis to meet me in a savage thrust.

My eyes squeezed shut as my head fell back, lost in sexual abandon.

As we spiraled into a shattering crescendo, I gave myself up to Sebastian’s complete possession of my body, mind, heart and soul.

There will never be anything like this for me.

As we crashed back down to real world and Sebastian collected me in his arms, cradling me tightly inside them and tucking my head under his chin as if he would never let go, I knew he felt the same way.

***

“How many women have you slept with?”

Sebastian looked up from the leaf pattern he was painting along my right hip and raised a brow at me. “You don’t really want to talk about this.”

It was later that day and we were still in bed, naked and tangled with the sheets, the floor cluttered with empty plates, glasses, clothes and art supplies. 

The room smelled of sex, paint and bacon.

I smiled impishly and reached out to touch his hair. “Yes, I do. You know how many men I’ve slept with. It’s only fair that I know your number too.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Would you hate me if I told you I’ve lost count? I slept with them because they relieved me sexually. There was nothing else to it but mutual physical satisfaction.”

I frowned. “After the four times you’ve made love to me since midnight, I have a hard time understanding why you speak of sex with other women so coldly. Didn’t you feel anything other than an ache in your cock?”

He narrowed his eyes at my blunt term but he sat up and set aside his brush and palette on the floor. “I didn’t like relationships and anything that led to them—tender feelings, for one. I turned off that part of me a long time ago but my body couldn’t shut down along with it. So I had sex because I needed to—it gave me the release that kept my temper even.”

“You sound like you didn’t like it at all.”

A ghost of smile fleetingly touched his lips. “I hated it. Not the act itself—I won’t be a hypocrite and claim that I don’t have a hedonistic streak in me. But I hated how I felt afterwards. It made me feel like the man I swore I would never be.”

My eyes widened but I didn’t say anything.

We were at the verge of something here and I had a feeling this was a very important piece of the puzzle that was Sebastian Vice.

“My father was the worst sort of philanderer,” he started in a cold voice devoid of any emotion, his expression hardening. “He had his prick between every pair of female legs that came his way. He didn’t care if he wrecked marriages or robbed young girls of their virginity. I don’t know what prompted him to marry my mother but he did and after he got tired of her, he went back to debauching women left and right.”

Sebastian looked away and gazed out to the ocean outside the window. “If my mother wasn’t painting, she was crying. I was very young then but I remember that. She wouldn’t stop crying. She cried while eating, she cried while curling up in bed alone, crying when she held me in her arms. I proudly showed her every single thing I painted and she would smile for a fraction of a second before tears would start rolling down her cheeks.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, certain that it would’ve been a sob.

“I barely saw my father. He always sent me away to my mother’s side.” Sebastian’s shoulders sagged a little but he took a deep breath and straightened as if his spine had turned into steel. “One day, I went to tell him about mother crying. I was maybe four or five then. I walked in on him in his office with a woman saddled in his lap and they were both grunting like rutting pigs. He never saw me. I ran and and went straight into my mother’s arms but I wouldn’t tell her what I saw. In my young mind, I knew I had seen something bad—something I wasn’t supposed to see. Something that would make Mother cry again.”

He fell silent for a moment and I feared he wouldn’t continue.

I sat up, letting the covers heap around my waist, and reached out to touch his shoulder.

He glanced at me and his face was that of a complete stranger—shuttered, cold and sinister—and I felt the instinct to draw my hand back but as his gaze lowered to where I touched him, I held on, inexplicably aware that to sever our connection would be to abandon him to his demons.

He blinked and his expression softened.

“Anyway, she died of a broken heart,” he said, his tone flat and resigned, although I didn’t miss the stark pain that flashed briefly in his glittering green eyes. “Despite what happened...”

His voice trailed off and I could see him swallowing hard, his face pale. 

I leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his arm.

He met my eyes and his were full of sorrow. “Despite what happened, my father never stopped doing what he did best. The lives he destroyed signified nothing. I vowed I would never be like him but I fail each time I give in to my body’s needs because as much as I hate the blood that flows through me, I am my father’s son.”

“You’re nothing like him,” I said in a choked voice, overwhelmed by the need to defend him from himself. “Not at all, Sebastian.”

He smiled sadly. “I had fancied telling myself that a few times but it was too easy to stumble down the same beaten path than forge your own. That’s why I hated it. I hated how it made me feel afterwards. I hated who I was in those moments of weakness, when my lust got the better of me. Pretty soon, I only slept with women who wanted exactly the same thing—a simple, straightforward, casual fuck with no strings attached—so then I wouldn’t feel like I’ve used them. And if I didn’t promise anything to a woman as my father did to my mother, I would never be in a position to hurt them when I broke those promises just as my father had.”

Tears sprung in my eyes and I fought them back.

“I don’t think what you and I had was just a simple, straightforward, casual fuck with no strings attached,” I mumbled broodingly, my heart heavy. 

“No, it wasn’t,” he said softly, tilting my chin up so I could look at him. His smile was now tender, his eyes warm and affectionate. “And that’s the difference between you and all those women, Cassandra. You’re the only one I want to hold afterwards. I want to kiss you, talk to you, make you smile. It’s different because with you, I care more than I ever have my whole life. This is the first time I’ve felt that making love was a natural, inevitable expression of my feelings for you—and not an item on my weekly checklist to tick off so I could continue on with my regular routine without ripping anyone’s head off.”

I bit my lip and nodded as he brushed a tear that had rolled down my cheek. 

He closed his eyes briefly and kissed the tear stains away. “Don’t doubt that I want you badly because I do.  What I feel for you simply makes sex mean more to me. I’m always burning for you but more than that, I’m crazy about you, Cassandra. I’m drawn by your old soul, your playfulness, your sharp and witty mind, your artless allure, your fierceness. Sex is just like icing on the cake for me when it comes to you. I want it but it’s not all of it.”

I gave him a wobbly smile before burrowing my face into his neck. “That should be reason enough to convince you that you are not like your father. The fact that you’re capable of this—of something that he never found before he died—means that you are a better man. You know your sins, you suffer for them. You’re not turning away from a chance to do differently.”

Sebastian pressed a kiss on the crown of my head, his hand slowly running up and down my naked back. “If I’m not giving up so easily, it’s because you won’t let me. You expect me to be better, you expect me to do right. It scares the hell out of me after a lifetime of being my worst but I want it as much you do—for you. For us.”

If I didn’t love Sebastian already, I would’ve loved him at that moment.

For the first time in weeks, I felt real hope that this summer love affair was going to last a lifetime.

***

“So where are we going?” I asked nervously as I stepped out of my bedroom where I’d gone in to change into my red dress and the white leather slingback sandals Sebastian gave me for the fourth of July party.

He was leaning against the wall across my door, dressed in a dark gray suit with a white silk shirt he’d left open at the collar. His hair was combed back, his chiseled jaw shaved and his sensual mouth set in a tight, impatient line.

He looked sinful and solemn until he looked up and smiled, his green eyes bright and appreciative as they slowly took me in.

I blushed but forced myself not to lower my head in a self-conscious gesture.

The dress was simple and adorned only by a thin white satin ribbon I found among the crafts station and stitched around the waist to balance out the white sandals. I brushed my hair down and let it float in loose waves around my back and finished the look with the only jewelry my mother left me—a pair of big pearl earrings framed by a cluster of small diamonds around it.

I didn’t have dressy evening bag to use so I took the discarded sleeves I’d snipped off from the red dress and stitched up a small fabric pouch I strung up with the same white ribbon. It provided enough room for my cell, IDs, compact and lip balm.

“You’re lovely,” was the first thing Sebastian said as he straightened up and stepped towards me, his hand reaching up to catch a lock of my hair. 

I smiled up at him and closed my eyes briefly as he swooped down for a quick, breathtaking kiss.

“Thank you,” I breathed softly, placing a hand on his lapel. “I’m not sure where we’re going but I hope I’m not over or under-dressed for it.”

He shook his head and moved his hand down so his fingers now traced the curved neckline. “You’re perfect. You’re perfect and you’re mine.”

Sebastian looked like he was in a bit of a trance as he said that and laughter bubbled up in my throat, drawing him out of it.

He blinked and smiled slowly before stepping back and offering his arm.

I asked him again where he was taking me but he said it was a surprise, that we would get there in time. Jennison drove us into Cobalt Bay and I watched the scenery throughout the half hour drive, admiring the golden tinge of the summer evening sun on the palm trees and the specks of ocean we could still see from the distance.

It was around seven on a Sunday evening and the roads were empty. Businesses closed early and most residents around here spend the evening having family dinners or preparing for work the next day.

Jennison dropped us off at the entrance of Baywalk, a long stretch of boardwalk that ran alongside downtown Cobalt Bay’s coastline. 

My heart quickened. 

I remembered being young and spending weekend afternoons strolling along here with my mother .

It would be packed with people, young and old, looking out into the ocean, dining at some of the seaside cafes, enjoying the street entertainment that ranged from solo musicians to circus performers and shopping all sorts of kitschy items from a smattering of vendors who laid out their goods on blankets and towels along the sand off the main walk.

Tonight didn’t seem too busy but the main boardwalk seemed fully alive with the torch lamps all lit up, the sides lined up with the usual vendors and performers.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, looking up at Sebastian who led us down the concrete steps that led to the long stretch of large, mosaic tiles in an eclectic variety of colors and designs that made Baywalk such a popular art piece. 

“Just passing through,” he answered softly. “When I was a child, my mother would take me here for a walk. She barely went out when we were staying at Cove but she would venture out here with me. She said it made her live in a different world for a little bit. She would bring her sketchbook to take some inspiration. One time, she toted her easel and paints over and spent the afternoon here painting sailboats.”

I smiled and squeezed his arm. 

He spoke fondly of his mother. There was the unmistakable hint of sadness in his voice and a tremor that betrayed old pain but he smiled and his green eyes brightened at the recollection.

“I’m not surprised she loved this place,” I said. “My mother did too. We spent hours on the weekends frolicking here. When we were here, her face would change. She didn’t look tired or stressed or lonely—she smiled and laughed and did silly things. It was as if she became a completely different person.”

Sebastian gazed down at me, his expression tender. “It sounds like both our mothers escaped their realities each time they came here. The hard part was that we, only children then, saw the difference and didn’t know what to do about it.”

My brief glance at his profile was big enough a window to see into the torment Sebastian lived with all his life—the memory of many things gone wrong and his helplessness at making them right.

All his life, he’d been paying for sins that weren’t his and he was still nowhere near redemption I knew he didn’t believe he deserved. 

My heart sank.

Until he found that peace with himself, he was never going to be free of the shadows and he would always be afraid of the light. I was prepared to love him with all that I had but how long would it be until he finally believed it was real and that he was just as capable of it as I was?

“Cassandra?”

His voice nudged me out of my thoughts and I forced out a small smile before pressing my cheek against his forearm. “I was just thinking that if our mothers could see us now, they’d both be happy to see us here.”

“My mother would probably say, ‘Excellent taste, son’,” he said with a low chuckle, catching my hand that clung to his arm and raising it to his lips. “I think she would’ve liked you very much.”

I smiled. “My mom would probably congratulate me too for such a prime catch. She always thought I should be patient and wait for my prince charming.”

Sebastian arched a brow. “I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint your mother. Even if prince charming came charging down on a horse to sweep you off your feet, I’m not giving you away.”

I laughed. “I meant you as the prince charming, silly.”

“But I’m not a prince charming, Cassandra,” he said with a faint smile, his expression dimming with a hint of regret. “I’m more like the dragon who will keep you prisoner in my high tower. I know you deserve someone better but I’m too selfish to let you go. I’m sorry that you will miss out on your fairytale but I can’t lose you.”

“Hmm,” I murmured as I paused and turned to look at him, my hand sliding up to rest on the curve where his neck and shoulder met. “That’s okay. I already have my fairytale and my dark prince who thinks himself a beast too monstrous for his princess. What he doesn’t know is that the princess has eyes that see the real prince inside who will slay dragons for her because he is strong and valiant and loves her very much.”

My cheeks burned the moment I realized what I said in the last part of my statement. 

I waited for him to shrug me off and scoff at my assumption—the old Sebastian would. 

But in the past few weeks we’ve spent together, there was no other assumption I could make but that. The only question was whether he had the courage to admit it.

His green eyes never wavered as they gazed over my face, the back of his fingers gently brushing my cheek.

“Only because the princess deserves a prince who will protect and love her for always,” he said softly before leaning down to settle a slow, tender kiss on my mouth.

The breath I held in me loosened—it was neither an admission nor a denial but it didn’t scorn the idea that he could love me.

His expression had softened and a small smile hovered on his lips as we pulled away and resumed our walk along the boulevard, approaching the rows of shopping and entertainment.

Suddenly a young man dressed in faded brown trousers, a yellow shirt and a beret stepped forward and handed me bouquet of fresh, dark pink daisies, bowing with a flourish.

I beamed at him and mumbled a thank you before glancing at Sebastian who just looked amused. 

We haven’t gone very far when a woman in a big, colorful polka dot skirt came up to us and handed me a string of a dozen multi-colored balloons and merrily greeted me a happy birthday.

That’s when I looked around and noticed that there was no one else along Baywalk but us and the usual vendors and entertainers.

A trio of young men dressed in matching blue suits were playing a perky song with a harmonica, a ukulele and an accordion.

There was a juggler who was effortlessly cycling through half a dozen items; a woman standing still on a platform, dressed in a grecian drape gown, her exposed skin painted white so she resembled a Greek statue. 

A man who seemed to be portraying a mad scientist was tinkering on some old-looking machine that held a huge bulb display on top of it that blinked on and off, the letters forming the words: Happy Birthday Cassandra!

There was a small cluster of colorfully clothed belly dancers as well who did a few, hip-swaying moves when we stopped by them. 

A ventriloquist was sitting on a high swivel stool with a puppet in each hand who were both singing happy birthday to me.

There was a young girl in a bright red costume performing tricks with her monkey who was regally dressed in a gold and red uniform.

A heavyset woman stepped out and handed us each a piece of corn-dog on a stick and gestured for us to select more fair food from her little stall.

We stopped there and sampled different things before continuing on.

The whole stretch of the boardwalk was full of the most lively and creative performances I’ve seen and I couldn’t help beaming and laughing throughout the whole walk as I went to watch one after another, aware that Sebastian stood by my side, often amused and occasionally laughing along with me at some of the outrageous things we saw.

I couldn’t recall the last time I’ve had that much fun.

Sebastian looked like he agreed.

When we reached the end of the boardwalk, with the performances far behind us, Jennison stepped out and offered to take the balloons and flowers and other mementos I cradled in my arms before disappearing. 

“You planned all this, didn’t you?” I asked Sebastian with an amazed look.

He shrugged. “I thought it was a good idea.”

I threw my arms around his neck, my face pressing against his chest.

“Thank you,” I murmured. “Thank you for letting me relive some of my best memories.”

He held me by the shoulders and gently pushed me back so he could look at me. 

He was smiling, his green eyes shining in the growing twilight. 

“Thank you,” he said, his hand cupping one side of my face. “For giving me new memories that are quickly replacing some of my old, ugly ones.”

We kissed for a few minutes before he broke off, laughing, mumbling that if he didn’t keep his hands off me, we would never get to my birthday dinner.

We kept walking, this stretch of the coastline banked on rocks that held up a winding viewing platform lined with a cobbled path, romantic street lamps and wooden benches. 

It was aptly called Sunset Point.

It was also empty which meant Sebastian had it closed off too just like Baywalk, so that it was all ours for the evening. I have no idea how he planned all of this out in secret and although I was certain it cost him a preposterous amount of money, for once I didn’t care. 

“This is one of my favorite places in the world,” I told him, stopping by at a bench and tracing a finger along the steel plate on the center of its back rest where scripted words were engraved. “I love reading the dedications on each bench. They often tell wonderful love stories.”

“For Martha Jacobs, 1895-1965,” Sebastian slowly read aloud. “Wife, best friend and soul mate to Ted Jacobs who will await their joyful reunion in the next life.”

I smiled and wandered away to the next one.

“For my most beloved Alice,” I read. “Who watched the sunsets here with me—you were my sunrise each day. Tom.”

Sebastian wrapped an arm around me from behind, pressing a kiss on the crown of my head as he followed me to the next bench, his embrace tight around my waist.

“William and Hannah Morrison - 1928-1978. No two people were more in love with each other. -Annie, Michael & Louisa.”

“Must be their children,” I said, my cheeks slightly quivering from the effort to keep myself from crying. Dedications always did this to me. 

“They lied,” Sebastian whispered in my ear, his chin nestled against my neck.

I turned to my side slightly and glanced up at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“They said no one could love each other more than William and Hannah did each other,” he said huskily, his smile slow and sure. “Here and now stand two people proving them wrong.”

I blinked as the words registered and suddenly, the tears I was successfully keeping at bay came trickling down my face.

“Oh, love, don’t cry,” Sebastian murmured with a soft chuckle, turning me in his embrace and leaning down to literally kiss my tears away. “No one should cry at their birthday. And here I thought I was doing such a good job.”

I hiccuped and swiped at my tears with the heel of my palm, unconcerned that I was messing up my eyes where I wore a little bit of waterproof mascara. 

“I’m not sad,” I told him between gasps. “I’m v-very happy. Thank you. It’s the b-best birthday I’ve ever h-had.”

He grinned and gave me a quick kiss. “Well, it’s not over yet. Come on.”

We continued with our walk along the rest of Sunset Point, stopping at a few more benches.

At the end of the path was a cross walk that led to the Lincoln Library, Cobalt Bay’s famous library. It was built in the 1970s, a large, contemporary design mostly made of steel and glass. Many people first found it distastefully too modern but the architect had argued that if any building was going to sit on top of a seaside cliff, it was damned well going to take advantage of the view. The front entrance was framed in white marble with the stainless steel letters of the library’s name mounted along the top of it, giving it the illusion of floating in the air as the rest of the facade were built with glass panels that reflected the skies and the ocean. 

Sebastian’s hand tightened around mine as he led us across the street, towards the library entrance.

“What are we doing here?’ I asked as I followed him through the large and heavy glass double doors that automatically opened at our approach. “It’s probably closed at this time of night.”

It was already past nine-thirty and the library did look closed, the emptiness of it giving it away.

It was dimly lit but I could see endless rows of books and reading desks in the shadows.

“Come on,” Sebastian urged me as he led us up three flights of stairs before we stepped into the rooftop garden the library was also famous for.

I sucked in a breath as we stopped by the entrance, marveling at the variety of small trees, ferns, vines and shrubs that filled the space under the glass dome. 

The path around the garden was lit with warm glass lamps which blended beautifully with the bright streaks of orange and red that were now slowly receding into the indigo of the falling night. 

Violins were playing a slow, romantic tune in the distance and Sebastian and I followed it, strolling through the winding path between the plants and flowers that filled the whole room with a deep, earthy, fragrant scent.

In the middle of the large garden, a tall glass waterfall stood, flat and thin, water spilling from each side down into a shallow white marble pool.
Next to it, a cozy table for two was set, laid out with a dark red cloth, crystal dishes and silver utensils glinting against the warm glow of the candlelight that surrounded us from the tall, silver cluster candelabras placed around the dining area.

Three violinists in black suits were playing on one corner and two servers, just as sharply dressed, stood waiting as we approached.

“This is amazing,” I breathed softly, broadly smiling at Sebastian. 

He grinned and walked me over to the table, holding my chair out until I settled before letting one server hold out his.

We didn’t have much time to talk before the courses started arriving—where they came from, I had no idea. 

After dessert, he stood and asked me to dance and I blushed profusely and admitted that I didn’t know how to dance very well.

He laughed and pulled me up to my feet and gently swayed me to the sweet and slow violin music, holding me securely around my waist that my feet barely touched the floor.

We wandered off into a more secluded part of the garden where Sebastian stopped our dance for a long, sensual kiss.

“Happy Birthday, Cassandra,” he murmured against my lips before pulling away and reaching for something in his pocket.

He took out a long, black velvet box and carefully opened it, revealing a thin, dainty white gold necklace with a simple tear-drop shaped emerald pendant. The stone was large enough to crown a magnificent ring but on the delicate chain, it looked perfect—uncomplicated yet it drew and held the eye to the brilliant hue that deepened and glinted with the light at changing angles—just like Sebastian’s beautiful, arresting eyes.

I was too stunned to say anything, much less protest, as he took the necklace and came around behind me, slipping it deftly around my neck.

I raised a hand and lightly touched the stone with my fingertips.

“It’s as green as your eyes,” I finally managed, turning around to face him.

He smiled sheepishly. “I wanted something that would remind you of me. Something that will make you feel beautiful. I know you never understood it yourself but my eyes see you in a completely different light, Cassandra. They see you as an angel with a knack for tough love, as a siren who seduces with her innocence, as a woman whose heart is open, wild and passionate. I had hoped that if you think of my eyes, you’ll remember how I see you.”

My lower lip quivered as I pressed the necklace to my heart. “Thank you.”

It was a symbol of his feelings for me, not a sample of his many luxuries, and I could accept that.

“For your next gift,” he said, his smile now mischievous, as he reached into the pocket inside his jacket and took out a small book bound in old, distressed brown leather that matched the ties around it. It was thin, the pages made of thick parchment paper.

I slowly untied it and lifted the cover open.

On the first page, in black ink and Sebastian’s familiar bold script, was written: 

Love Poems: A Collection

For my romantic Cassandra,

From your undeserving yet devoted Sebastian

Tears sprung into my eyes but I quickly blinked them back as my trembling fingers leafed to the next page. The words were all handwritten.

“Tie your heart at night to mine, love,

and both will defeat the darkness

like twin drums beating in the forest

against the heavy wall of wet leaves...”

I looked up to him, his face blurred by the tears in my vision, and felt Pablo Neruda’s words lace around my heart like the love that held Sebastian’s own on the other end.

“The words may be borrowed, but even then, they couldn’t quite fully express how I feel for you,” he said softly, pressing a light kiss between my brows. 

I closed the book and clutched it close to my heart, pressed against the emerald pendant. The words may not be his own but he’d spent hours compiling them and writing them himself on the book. He probably hadn’t been spending all that time in his office doing work. 

“Thank you.”

He grinned and reached into the other pocket of his jacket.

“There’s one more thing.”

I gasped in a breath when I saw him hold out a small, dark blue velvet box.

“Don’t panic, it’s not what you think,” he said with a small, nervous laugh and he handed it to me. “It’s also a birthday present to you. You won’t quite know what it is until the time is right.”

My brows furrowing at his puzzling statement, I lifted the lid open and found a large, heavy brass key—old and ornate—nestled against the red velvet lining.

I touched the key with my fingers, intrigued by the possibilities.

It looked like a key to an old lock, probably a vintage journal or chest.

I looked up and gave him an amused smile. “Thank you but I do hope this would be the last of them. You’ve given me more than I could ever want already.”

He smiled and pulled me into his arms. “I haven’t begun to give you what you deserve.”

I slipped my arms around his neck and pressed a kiss on his chin. “All I want is your heart.”

“You already have it, Cassandra,” he said softly, brushing his thumb along my lower lip. “You have all of me.”

My heart danced blissfully but as he leaned down for a kiss, a moment of panic flitted through me.

Now that I had Sebastian’s heart, I had the power to help him heal or shatter his soul all over again.

As I kissed him back, I whispered a secret prayer to the heavens that I would never be capable of such cruelty.

***

Get dressed and come down for brunch. We have an appointment at 2pm - Seb

I read the note again, noting the bold hand stroke of the penmanship and the nickname Sebastian claimed no one would ever dare use around him, and wrinkled my nose.

After a week of pure, uninterrupted bliss when nights were spent in bed making love and days out under the sun when we went for a walk or sat down for my portrait, we were finally poking our heads out of our private paradise.

I slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom wearing his gray cotton shirt and nothing else, I stepped into the shower and changed into a silky, navy blue and white-striped tank top, my favorite pair of dark, skinny jeans and red ballerina flats which were the only item on my baggage list that covered semi-formal footwear.

I accessorized very simply—just my old, white leather watch, silver hoop earrings and the emerald necklace Sebastian gave me. It was the most expensive piece of jewelry I’ve ever owned but I was surprised to realize it didn’t bother me.

I brushed my hair up into a sleek, high ponytail, letting the wavy ends curl naturally.

I swiped on my lip balm and decided, after a minute of staring at my reflection, that I didn’t need anything else.

My skin was warm and golden, my eyes were bright, my cheeks healthy and flushed, my lips pink and slightly swollen (Sebastian tormented me with a few hours of heavy kissing the night before).

For the first time in a long time, I thought I’ve never looked better.

Maybe it’s because you’re happy and in love.

That guess couldn’t have been more dead on and I was pleased about it.

I grabbed my old, red leather wristlet that contained my phone, IDs and some money before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

Sebastian was lifting panini sandwiches off the grill and laying it out between two plates, his cellphone tucked between his ear and shoulder. 

“Yes, I’ll sign them as soon as I can,” he was saying on the phone as he looked up and beamed at me, the radiance of his smile knocking a little bit of wind out of me. 

He was wearing dark jeans, a deep blue, collared silk shirt and casual leather loafers, his face freshly shaven, his hair combed back into dark, sleek waves.

I grinned at him and rounded the table to one of the stools but before I could sit down, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me up against him for a quick but thorough kiss that I was certain couldn’t be mistaken for anything else on the other line.

“Call me as soon as you know,” he murmured into the phone again as he lowered me back on my feet, his green eyes glinting hungrily at me.

I rolled my eyes, smiling all the while, as I took my seat and picked up my sandwich.

I was hungry for food after spending two hours in bed early this morning testing the integrity of the bed’s headboard as I bent over it, legs spread apart, gripping tight as Sebastian pounded into me from behind.

“Alright. Thanks, Stan.” He smiled and ended the call, tossing his phone on the table before leaning down to kiss me deeply again, his minty toothbrush taste mingling with the cheese and tangy mayonnaise in my mouth.

“Your lawyer again?” I asked after he pulled away and settled on the stool next to me, taking a big bite out of his sandwich. “You’ve been on the phone with him all week. Should I be worried?”

He glanced sideways at me, his mouth curving up into a smile on one corner. “It’s not that kind of relationship. He’s just looking into something I’m buying.”

I sighed. “Will you ever run out of companies to buy?” 

He laughed. “It’s not a company. Well, not yet. I’ll tell you about it some time. Now eat. Jennison is picking us up in twenty minutes. I don’t want us to be late.”

“Where are we going?” I asked, taking another bite of my food.

He grabbed my glass and poured some orange juice into it. “Downtown. We have an appointment with Dr. Henderson. Then I’m leaving you at Neiman Marcus for a couple of hours to shop while I sign some paperwork at the office. I’ll pick you up, stay with you if you want to do a little bit more of shopping with me and then we’re going to do a quick stop at Cedar Hill. After that, we’re going to dinner.”

Brows raised in surprised, I put down my sandwich and looked at him. “Okay, backtrack for a second here. Why you do you need to see a doctor? Are you sick?”

He shook his head. “No, Dr. Henderson is for you. She’s one of Cobalt Bay’s best and brightest. I thought about Dr. Newman but I figured you might want a female doctor. We need to get you on birth control. We’ve already been pretty reckless all week and there is no way I’m going to back to wearing condoms—not with you, not after finding out just how much better bare-skin sex is.”

I flushed and choked a little bit on my food.

True, we’ve been having lots of hot, wild sex this past week but I wasn’t yet completely immune to its indelicacies—at least not while I’m eating lunch. 

I wasn’t a virgin anymore but I haven’t been doing this very long.

“Things are fine the way they are now,” I managed after a swallow. “I don’t need to see a doctor.”

He snorted. “Thank God you didn’t start having sex in high school—you could be eighteen and teen mom to a two-year-old by now.”

“That was uncalled for,” I muttered with a glare at him. “If you’re so insistent on it, I’ll go to a walk-in clinic. I’ll feel a little more invisible. I don’t need a celebrity doctor to write me up a prescription for pills.”

It was now Sebastian’s turn to glower at me. “She’s very discreet. I’ll make sure that she won’t make you uncomfortable.”

I snorted this time. “You can’t just go around alienating people to bend them to your will. You can’t frighten the doctor into silence and you can’t force me to see her either.”

“Cassandra,” was his low, deliberate warning.

I rolled my eyes and exhaled sharply. “Fine, I’ll go see her. I don’t have medical insurance though and—”

“I’ll take care of everything,” he interrupted, ripping off a piece of his sandwich.

I raised a brow. “Yes, your magic words.”

He glowered at me more before sighing and reaching for my hand. “I don’t mean to be forceful. I just want you protected from a responsibility you may not be ready for right now.”

I looked at our joint hands and glanced at him. 

His eyes were gentle and patient, his mouth relaxed. 

I suddenly had an image of a chubby toddler with Sebastian’s dark hair and green eyes flash in my mind and my stomach shifted nervously.

A child with Sebastian would be a miracle some day but he was right—I wouldn’t know how to be a mother at this point in my life. He was justified in his vigilance; if only he could find more diplomatic ways to exert it instead of just barking out orders like a general.

“Alright, I’ll go.”

He grinned and lifted my hand to his lips for a quick kiss on my knuckles. “Thank you, darling.”

“Now, for the next part of your earlier statement,” I continued, steeling my tone. “I don’t need to go shopping—especially not some place where one trip could cost me the price of my four-year degree.”

“You need more clothes, Cassandra,” he insisted, downing a few gulps of his juice. “You didn’t bring very much with you when you arrived and you’ve been wearing the same clothes over and over again throughout the whole summer. I’ve spotted faded and worn areas on most of them along with a random collection of patched up holes and rips, stains and fraying seams.”

I turned beet red and dropped my sandwich back on my plate.

“I’m surprised you’ve noticed my clothes considering I’ve just spent the last week mostly out of them!” I snapped angrily. 

I suddenly felt self-conscious and was secretly glad the top I had on was at least relatively recent.

“They don’t last very long as I got most of them used from a thrift store,” I muttered, glancing down at my lap, uncomfortable with the sense of feeling small at this moment. “I do my best to fix and update them but they can’t always be saved. I’m sorry if it bothers you to have such a shabby girlfriend. I never posed to be anything else.”

With a quick yank, Sebastian hauled me off my stool and straight on his lap.

“You could be wearing rags and you’d still be beautiful to me,” he murmured, his lips brushing against my cheek and his arm encircling my waist. “I only want you to be more comfortable and confident in better clothes. School’s starting soon for you and I want you to head off to college with a new wardrobe so you’ll spend less time patching up stuff and more on studying and keeping in touch with me.”

I raised my eyes to his. “You know how I feel about this, Sebastian. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the pawnshop and the house. I’m starting to feel like a very expensive hooker. I love Pretty Woman but I have no plans to live my life like the movie.”

He exhaled sharply, his expression clearly showing his thinning patience and mounting frustration. “For God’s sake, Cassandra, it’s just clothes. Wouldn’t you rather buy them with money I could just be blowing on the poker table?”

I straightened, my shoulders squared indignantly. “You could donate them to charity that might feed a hungry child somewhere in the world instead of spending it on me or at the poker table. Jeez, Sebastian, it doesn’t mean that just because you have a lot of money, you can throw it around on frivolous things. I know how it is to be poor—it annoys me that you just fling your money around wherever you fancy. Do something worthwhile with it instead of gambling it away or buying me designer clothes with it. Spread the wealth by investing in something that will grow and reward not just you but other people as well.”

He raised a brow at me. “I’m providing people jobs and supporting the economy by continuously expanding my company which also happens to support about fifty or so charities worldwide. I’m not just rolling around on a bed of cash, Cassandra. I handle my finances responsibly and occasionally indulge myself in its spoils. If I choose to spend some hard-earned portion of it on you, I expect you to accept gracefully instead of insulting me and my principles because I happen to be rich and generous.”

My cheeks puffed and reddened but I kept my mouth shut, breathing heavily through my nose.

We were at a deadlock—I had a valid point and so did he.

I looked down at my lap and deliberated silently.

Being with Sebastian, luxury was going to be unavoidable.

It was part of who he was and yes, it was illogical to fuss about money when there was enough of it to go around with. 

My pride held on tight while another part of me secretly understood that if someone was getting a greater sense of happiness out of this, it was Sebastian. He wanted to provide for me, pamper me, take care of me—it was in his eyes and the spark in them each time he did something for me. 

To say no—well, it made me feel as if I was depriving him of something he fervently wished.

Sebastian wanted to love, protect and care for the first time in his life and like everything else he’d pursued, he was determined to succeed in it and my reluctance was his biggest deterrent.

If there was something I didn’t want him to fail at, this was it. 

If he’d tried and felt that he’d failed, he might give up and I had a feeling that once burned, he was never going to waste his time on it ever again.

“Okay,” I said with a sharp exhale, looking up to his green eyes that first registered surprise and then immense satisfaction.

I held up a finger to stop him from saying anything before I was done. “I will only do it if you give me a modest budget to work with. I don’t want to be fussed over because it’s going to be your name on the bill and I don’t want to be prescribed way too much stuff than what I really need. Deal?”

He blinked a few times, clearly taken aback by my conditions, but he slowly nodded and smiled. “Alright. What would you say is a modest budget?”

I pursed my lips, thinking quickly. “Five hundred dollars at the most.”

His eyes widened. “Five hun—what the hell can you buy with five hundred dollars? A couple pairs of socks and some handkerchieves?”

My eyes narrowed. “Five hundred dollars can buy me a ton of stuff if I don’t shop high-end designer brands. Take me to a regular mall and I’ll show you how I can make the most of your money.”

He shook his head. “No. I’ll agree to your conditions but only if you’re going to take me seriously on the task at buying yourself a whole new wardrobe. You need new dresses, tops, pants, skirts, coats, jackets, shoes, lingerie—”

“I thought you said you liked my kind of underwear!” I squeaked, my mouth involuntarily pursing into what I was certain was a petulant pout.

He grinned and leaned close to smother that pout with a few, brazen kisses.

“I do like your cute panties and I want you to buy more of them,” he said, his hand straying to the waistband of my jeans where he teased the skin under it. “Getting a few silk and satin ones in black or red won’t hurt either. I sometimes feel a little too old looking at you while you’re walking around in nothing but a shirt, a colorful polka dot bikini and those dorky glasses of yours with your hair all messy and your legs and feet bare. I feel very bad. At least if you’re in equally-seductive clothes, I’ll feel like I’m not preying on you too much.”

I laughed and slapped him on the shoulder before leaning close to kiss him with all the seduction skills I’ve learned and mastered in the past week.

He growled and clamped me on the waist to drop me back on my seat.

“Baby, no, don’t tease,” he pleaded, his voice weak and hoarse, before he downed the rest of his juice and stood up. “We have things to do and right now, you’re making me want to throw you over my shoulder and drag you back to bed.”

“Alright,” I acceded, wolfing down the rest of my sandwich and the last of my juice. “I also want to stop by a bookstore if it’s not too much trouble. Please?”

He smiled and kissed me quickly. “Yes. We’ll stop by as many bookstores as we can. Now, let’s go.”

Jennison had just arrived in the town car when we stepped out of the house.

He and Sebastian chatted briefly about going-ons at work and also reminded us that the stay-in members of the household staff were returning at the end of the week for when all duties resumed next Monday.

I was excited to see everyone again although I was secretly worried about how things with Sebastian would change once our private world was intruded on. It might seem weird for the staff to acknowledge our relationship but then I would pretty much have to leave for Bluefield as soon they came back if I wanted at least a week to pack up and head out to college. 

No concrete plans had been discussed yet as to how we were to go about my trip back. Timothy couldn’t be reached and at this point, he was unlikely to come back and collect me as he’d promised. Sebastian had insisted he would take care of getting me back to Bluefield and getting me and what stuff I had to UPenn before the start of classes.

We both wanted to drag out this summer for as long as it could last that neither of us seemed enthusiastic about discussing our separation.

I made a mental note to finalize plans with him tonight even if he would protest, cajole and seduce me into having sex with him instead.

We arrived at a magnificent high-rise condominium building. The front entrance was immaculate with perfectly trimmed shrubs and flower beds and a tall, sleek, black granite wall that rose from amidst a fountain, the stainless steel letters that spelled out Rockford mounted against it.

We slipped out of the car and Sebastian held my hand as he led me through the entrance, barely nodding at the sharply dressed doorman who greeted us with a warm smile and a slight bow.

“What are we doing here?” I asked as we stepped into the elevator and stood beside two women who were dressed very fashionably, every strand of their hair in its exact place.

They glanced sideways at Sebastian and smiled coyly, their fake eyelashes fluttering so much you could hear the wind in the elevator pick up.

They completely ignored my presence, busy as they were ogling Sebastian.

I rolled my eyes and bit back a snort but Sebastian noticed, his green eyes crinkling in amusement as he slipped an arm around me and pulled me to his side, his arm locking me in like a steel trap as I tried to squirm away.

The two women’s eyes sharply swiveled to me and I flashed them a small smile despite the sudden plunge in temperature in their gazes.

I could feel myself being appraised and price-tagged piece by piece and I momentarily wished I was dressed a little bit less casual than I was but the fringes of my insecurities fell flat back down when Sebastian angled his face towards me and kissed me squarely on the mouth.

I heard faint gasps but I was too busy kissing him back.

I heard the elevator doors glide open and close but I was too busy leaning up against Sebastian as he pulled me flush against him, his hands cupping my buttocks intimately.

A low chuckle rumbled in his chest as he pushed me away slightly, cocking his head towards the open elevator doors.

“We’re here,” he said, catching my hand and pulling me out to the hallway. 

The women had long gone and we were finally at the penthouse—if the skylights along the wide luxuriously paneled hallways were an indication.

“Where’s here?” I asked, rubbing a finger along my slightly swollen lower lip. 

“My downtown condo,” he answered as we approached a heavy wooden door.

“Oh,” was all I managed to say before the door suddenly swung open and a short, wiry man with a bald head stepped aside and dipped courteously in greeting.

“Mr. Vice, how good to see you.”

“Hello, Percy,” Sebastian greeted as he stepped through the doorway, pausing to present me to the man. “This is Ms. Cassandra Collins. Cassandra, this is Percy, my butler.”

I smiled and said hello to the man who smiled back politely before I gave Sebastian a wry glance. “You really are quite British.”

He grinned. “That and old-fashioned.” 

He turned to the butler who was watching us with a mildly curious expression—very un-butler-like behavior typically but then this was the twentieth century. “Has Dr. Henderson arrived?”

“Yes, just a few minutes ago,” Percy replied, leading us through the vast living area. “She’s out on the balcony enjoying some refreshment. Shall I bring her in?”

Sebastian shook his head. “It’s alright. We’ll step out to see her. Please bring us something nice and cool to drink. I’d like an iced coffee please. Darling?”

I didn’t miss the almost imperceptible jump of the butler’s brows at the endearment but his expression seemed genuinely pleased that I didn’t feel uncomfortable. “Just iced tea, please, if you have it. Thank you, Percy.”

“My pleasure, Ms. Collins,” the butler answered grandly before dipping his head briefly. “I will return with your drinks shortly.”

When the butler was gone, I looked around the room, noting the sleek and modern interior design completed by minimalist furnishings. “This looks very different from Cove. But also very fitting for you.”

Sebastian grinned and pulled me close by the waist. “It’s a tad severe in its modernity but I’ll leave that to you to warm up however you like. It’s functional for day to day living in the city while I’m working but with you around, I expect some colors and softer touches.”

I was tempted to blurt out that I wasn’t going to be living here but he looked so dreamy that I couldn’t resist playing along with the fantasy. “You could use some flowers—daisies and wild poppies and some irises.”

He leaned close and kissed me briefly on the lips. “Unconventional choices but perfect ones coming from you.”

He dipped his head lower to nuzzle my neck but I stepped out of his embrace, giggling when he looked cross. “We can’t keep the doctor waiting. Come on.”

“Alright,” he relented, pulling me towards the end of the hallway.

I noticed some artwork on the wall—mostly abstract and geometrical—and glanced at Sebastian curiously. “Did you paint any of these?”

He shook his head. “No. I don’t hang my work anywhere—except the studio. I never have for years. They’re just for you and me to see.”

It was another indication of just how different Sebastian was with me but outside of Cove Manor, in the real world where Sebastian Vice was a high-profile businessman, I couldn’t help but wonder just how different we would be together without the familiar security of our current private world.

We stepped through glass french doors and out on a wide stone balcony furnished with neatly trimmed potted trees and simple yet chic outdoor furniture.

A tall, slender woman stood by the railing with her back to us, her wheat-colored tailored suit and skirt ensemble stylish but sensible.

“Natalie, how are you,” Sebastian greeted amiably as we approached her and the woman turned and flashed him a brilliant smile.

I stopped in my tracks, watching as the doctor, who looked like a beauty queen with her sleek, jet black hair and pale blue eyes, walked up to Sebastian and wrapped her arms around him in an affectionate hug.

My stomach churned.

The two women in the elevator only irritated me with their shallow tricks but the sight of Sebastian heartily greeting a beautiful woman—a goddamned doctor—who was clearly fond of him, caused me a bad case of heartburn.

I waited awkwardly while they quickly chatted—her trip to South America, her parents’ fortieth wedding anniversary, his appearance at a charity gala and—with voices becoming more subdued and serious—about Alfred’s death.

I watched as Natalie’s expression clouded with sadness before she put her arms around Sebastian again.

My fists clenched.

I hated the fact that she seemed to have known Alfred. I would never meet the man who had a very large part in Sebastian’s life and the comfort I offered him for his grief would never be the same as that of someone who actually knew the man.

A throat cleared behind me and I turned and saw Percy arriving with a tray for our drinks. He set it down on the glass table and glanced at the pair who were still engrossed in their conversation before glancing at me with an apologetic smile.

“They’re old friends and even though she’s in love with him, she will never have his heart,” the man said to me very quietly as he handed me my drink. “Not when you firmly have it in your hands, Ms. Collins.”

I smiled at the butler gratefully. “We’ll see about that, Percy. Sebastian’s heart is an evasive, complicated thing. And please call me Cassie or Cassandra.”

“As you wish, Miss Cassie,” he said with every bit of formality a butler could muster. He glanced again at the pair as he picked up the tray and winked at me conspiratorially. “Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything. Good day.”

His deep bow before his exit reminded me so much of the historical romance novels I’ve read that I laughed softly which promptly halted the conversation between Sebastian and Natalie.

“Oh, before I get any more distracted, I want you to meet my girl, Natalie,” Sebastian said, extending his arm out to loop around my waist before pulling me to his side. “Darling, please meet Dr. Natalie Henderson, doctor extraordinaire and a good friend of mine. Natalie, this is Cassandra Collins. She’s the one I brought today for you to see.”

Natalie’s exuberant expression dimmed the moment Sebastian uttered the words ‘my girl’ but she kept a fixed, polite smile on her face as she quickly surveyed me, and automatically extended a hand towards mine for a brief shake of greeting.

“Nice to meet you, Cassandra,” she said lightly before glancing at Sebastian with an arched brow. “I didn’t realize it wasn’t you who needed looking at. What can I do for your, um, friend, Sebastian?”

Sebastian, as dense as a brick right now, I swear, laughed and grinned at the woman before pressing a kiss on the crown of my head. “There’s nothing platonic about what I feel for her, Nat. I’ll let her tell you. You women probably won’t be comfortable having me around for that discussion. I’ll be in my office.”

He turned to me and gave me a quick, hard kiss on the mouth. “Come get me when you’re done, sweet. I’ll miss you till then.”

The doctor and I both stood in awkward silence as Sebastian grinned and waved at us before grabbing his drink and striding back inside.

“Well, that was something,” Natalie finally said, glancing at me with curious eyes. “I’ve never seen Sebastian act so... goofy.”

I couldn’t help a smile. “I don’t imagine he lets that side out too often. He claims he has a reputation to protect.”

A reluctant smile appeared on the doctor’s beautiful face. “He does. Sebastian Vice is known for his ruthlessness, money, looks and women. I certainly never predicted... you.”

“That makes two of us,” I mumbled with a mild snort before sipping some of my sweet tea.

There was certainly not going to be an all-business, patient-doctor relationship between Natalie and I. She was clearly in love with Sebastian and he was dating me. This was just too awkward.

“Why don’t you tell me what I can do for you,” she suddenly said, her tone all professional, as she gestured for us to take a seat. “Sebastian said it was urgent.”

I blushed. “Um, I, uh...” I drew in a deep breath and steeled my resolve. “I need a prescription for birth control.”

Kudos to the doctor for only cracking her poker face a few seconds with a flash of disbelief and irritation before it smoothened back to a perfectly professional expression.

She took a few seconds before she reached for her dark brown leather bag and took out her cellphone.

“Sebastian should’ve brought you into the clinic for all the necessary tests. I practice family medicine but the clinic has some dedicated specialists,” she said as she typed on the keypad. “We can go through a quick history for now and maybe you can stop by the clinic later today. One of my partners, Dr. Brooke Lacey, will assist you. She’s an OB. I’m texting her right now. I’m headed there after this. Once the exams are done, we can talk about your options.”

She stopped typing and leveled me a glance. “Unless you’d be more comfortable with a different doctor. This isn’t exactly conventional.”

She sighed and briefly closed her eyes, her fingers kneading the spot between her brows. “I’m sorry. This is very unprofessional of me. I just... I wasn’t expecting—”

“It’s okay,” I said gently to her. “And you’re right, I’d be more comfortable with a different doctor. I can see Dr. Lacey instead and I’ll make sure Sebastian has no qualms with that. I’m sorry to have put you in this position, Dr. Henderson.”

Her cool blue eyes studied me for a moment. “It was a long time ago. Sebastian and I are now just friends.”

I smiled faintly even though jealousy streaked through me at the thought of their past. “I know. But this is awkward for the both of us and I’d rather we spared ourselves the unnecessary discomfort.”

Her gaze stayed on me for a moment longer before she slid her cellphone back into her purse. She got up and I followed.

“Thank you,” she said softly, her smile friendly. “Brooke knows you’re coming. She’ll take good care of you.”

I smiled back with equal warmth. “I appreciate it. Thanks for your time, Dr. Henderson.”

She nodded. “I’ll see myself out.”

I watched the doctor disappear before settling back on my seat to finish my drink.

Minutes later, Sebastian stepped out, his expression mildly confused. “Natalie poked her head in to say goodbye. She told me you’ll explain. Is it done?”

I gave him a wry look as he sat across me. “No. I’ve decided to see her partner instead, Dr. Brooke Lacey. I need to come into the clinic for some tests and we’ll work out a prescription then.”

Sebastian stared at me silently for a few minutes, looking uncertain as to how best approach the subject.

I sighed and put my empty glass down. “What were you thinking making your ex see me for my birth control prescription? Didn’t you think it was going to be awkward?”

Sebastian sighed, more loudly than I did, and slumped in his seat. “I didn’t think it would bother Natalie. It was more than a decade ago when she and I happened. She’s just been a good friend since then.”

“A good friend who’s still obviously so in love with you?” I asked with an arched brow. 

Sebastian’s face darkened with regret. “She has long known nothing like that was ever going to happen between us. I made a mistake with her but she’s a good woman and I didn’t want to cast her aside completely so I stayed friends with her although I normally steered clear of women who wanted more from me.”

I bit on my lower lip. “Was she one of those first ones you slept with before your change of direction in consorting only with women who wanted a simple, straightforward, casual fuck like you?”

Sebastian flinched but he nodded slowly. “Yes. She was my first.”

The pain and jealousy that slammed through me momentarily made breathing a bit difficult.

I sat up straight, parting my lips open to relieve my temporary respiratory problem.

“Cassandra?” Sebastian’s voice was plaintive and cautious. 

I looked up and threw him a scowl. “Sometimes, you can be such an insensitive jerk.”

“I know. Everyone says so,” he groaned, getting off his seat to crouch on the floor and hover over my knees. “I’m so sorry. It’s so long ago. We were fifteen and she and her family were vacationing at Alfred’s estate in  Northumberland. She was pretty and I was a growing boy. It just happened.”

“Wasn’t she your first girlfriend?” I asked numbly.

“No,” Sebastian said fiercely. “I told you I didn’t have girlfriends. We slept a few times and then went back to our separate lives. We didn’t meet again until a few years later. By that time, I’ve already been with more women. We got together again a few times but when it was becoming clear that she wanted more than what we had, I told her if she wanted to be friends at all, we couldn’t sleep with each other again.”

Natalie’s lovely but crestfallen face flashed in my mind and I sighed, leaning forward to touch my forehead to Sebastian’s. “I can imagine her heartbreak.”

He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck. “I told you before I’m not a good man.  I took what I wanted with very little regard for people’s feelings. I didn’t know how to be better.”

My heart squeezed and anger fell away. 

I cupped Sebastian’s cheek and kissed his temple. “It’s alright, my love. I forgive you.”

He looked up and pressed a kiss on my mouth. “Thank you, Cassandra.”

Half an hour later, we were on our way to the clinic, a large, new office along a posh street downtown.

Brooke Lacey was a tall, athletic woman with a short blond crop and a brilliant smile. 

She was very patient and professional as we went through the exams and discussed available methods until I finally opted for the pills.

“That didn’t take as long as I thought,” Sebastian said as he got up on his feet after seeing me come out of the room. 

He had insisted on staying. Although we’d made up, I could sense that he was still feeling bad about setting up a meeting between Natalie and I.

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought,” I told him with a smile as he took my hand and led us out of the building. “Dr. Lacey was very nice.”

“Good,” he said, helping me up into the car. “I think the next time I plan something very intimately female for you, I’ll ask my sister. I had no idea what was needed.”

I suppressed a giggle. 

Sebastian grew up without his mother and his relationship with his stepmother was practically non-existent. He was too old already when his sister was going through puberty and he had never had a girlfriend. It wasn’t surprising he knew so little about women’s health needs. 

As experienced as he was, he was as much a virgin as I was in all of this.

Eager to set that difficult part of the day aside, I looked forward to shopping.

“Here,” Sebastian said as he handed me an envelope. “Jennison got some cash while you were at the doctor’s. If you need more, put it on the card I’ll give you. I don’t really want you walking around with that much cash.”

I peered inside the envelope, struck by a sense of déjà vu. “How much is in here?”

“Five grand,” he answered as he wiggled a card out of his wallet and handed it to me. “Here, I’ve already called it in. You can sign on it and no one would ask questions.”

I stared at the credit card and then at Sebastian, blinking rapidly. “The bank just lets you call in and authorize someone? I thought you have to get a secondary card or some—”

Sebastian cut off the rest of my sentence with a quick kiss before smiling at me. “Darling, I practically own the bank. I can do whatever the hell I want to do with my credit card. Your supplementary card will arrive in a couple of days.”

My insides tightened and I frowned at him. “I’m certain we had this conversation before. I’m not going to use your money—”

“You’ll need the credit card for when you’re in school,” he interjected impatiently. “I want you to have access to funds whenever you need it. I can’t be there to look after you all the time and this is one form of security.”

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves and reached into the envelope. I took out two thousand dollars and handed him back the rest of it.

“This is already too much but I’m not taking more,” I told him as I placed the money and credit card in my wristlet. “I’m only going to stores an average person would shop at. Call me when you’re done at work and I’ll tell you where I’m at then.”

He stared at me for a moment, looking ready to argue, but he wisely kept his mouth shut and nodded.

He dropped me off at The Crescent, the city’s biggest shopping center.

I looked around the bustling mall lobby and felt nervous for a second.

I remembered it as a child but that was more than eight years ago and the most I ever did here with each visit was window-shop with my mother. I had a fortune of shopping money in my hands and I didn’t have the faintest idea where to start.

I really was an unusual eighteen-year-old girl.

I grabbed a mall directory and went through the list of shops, picking out popular yet affordable places and mapping out my route.

Two hours later, my on-loan cellphone from Sebastian rang.

“Hey, we’re just about there,” he said. “Maybe about ten minutes. Where are you?”

Fifteen minutes later, he found me holding up a wine-red pea coat in front of a mirror at H&M.

Female shoppers were glancing at him surreptitiously but he barely noticed as he curiously observed the crammed shelves and piles of mixed clothes he was walking past.

“What do you think?” I asked him, holding up the coat in front of me. “I love the color!”

“The color’s great,” he said, peering at the coat more closely. “Is it wool? Will it keep you warm enough? Does it keep its shape—”

I cut him off with a kiss and a giggle. “Don’t nag. If you’re going to keep me company for the rest of my shopping trip, stop measuring everything by your standards. This is a really good and budget-friendly coat.”

He glanced at the heap of bags by my feet and grinned. “I see you’ve made a lot of progress already. Do you still have money left?”

I winked. “About six hundred dollars but I’ve already got two pairs of good, leather boots, a couple pairs of sneakers and a new pair of ballerina flats. I did buy one sensible pair of black high heels. I’ve got half a dozen blouses and shirts, three pairs of jeans, a pair of black trousers, two shift dresses, two sundresses, a blazer and two scarves. I also have two pairs of wool gloves, a newsboy cap, a good-sized leather messenger bag, a black purse and three pairs of wool and silk tights. All that are left on my list are a pea coat, a winter jacket and some lingerie.”

His smile turned wicked. “I’m so glad you saved that for last. I’ll be happy to help you pick.”

We spent another half an hour at the store and I was secretly amused at how well Sebastian was coping having to stand guard by my shopping bags, step aside and back whenever a shopper or a gaggle of girls slipped past him, hold on to my wristlet and a bunch of hangers for my coat options, handing them to me one at a time as I tried each of them in front of the mirror between the aisles.

He must be used sitting in a nice, plush chair in his high-end stores, being waited on hand and foot, as a dozen or so staff fussed back and forth with his selections. 

He didn’t once complain or criticize and I loved him more for it.

Before we headed out for lingerie shopping, Jennison met us and collected my shopping bags. We stopped to get two tall fruit smoothies and made our way to first lingerie store we spotted.

It wasn’t too busy there and three sales women appeared from nowhere to offer assistance. They separately did their quick sales pitch to me before attempting to attract Sebastian’s attention.

“I swear I’m never going out anywhere in public with you,” I muttered to Sebastian as the third girl who had offered to help us, went off to get a size I was looking for. “I’m going to hurt some girl and then I’ll go to prison.”

Seated on an armchair by the dressing room, Sebastian looked up to me, a dark emotion flickering across his face, before he grinned and laughed, pulling me over his lap, his arms encircling my waist.

“Ah, sweet. Have I mentioned before how I love this bloodthirsty, jealous side of you?” he teased, leaning close to suck on my lower lip. 

I slapped him on the arm and tried to wiggle away. “It’s not funny. I’ve never seen a man objectified so much before. Doesn’t it bother you that women are flirting with you all the time?”

“I don’t complain much, no,” he answered rakishly, kissing the tip of my nose. “But you must know it’s harmless, darling. I’ve already got my hands full with you.”

To prove his point literally, he cupped both of my breasts and squeezed and I gasped out laughing, slipping off his lap in a lame attempt to escape.

The sales woman reappeared with items I picked out and led me to one of the fitting rooms.

I could hear her chatting with Sebastian as I slipped out of my clothes to try this ruby red silk bra and lace panties-set Sebastian suggested.

And this is just one day in the real world of Sebastian Vice, I thought irritably, rolling my eyes.

“Darling, come out and let me see,” came Sebastian’s excited voice from outside the room. 

Feeling slightly self-conscious, I pushed open the door and slowly wedged myself through the narrow doorway.

The sales woman looked rather mildly annoyed standing next to Sebastian who was beaming at me approvingly. I was tempted to point out that she didn’t need to stand by and be an audience to my burlesque-like moment.

“Wow,” Sebastian said with a low whistle, his green eyes glinting with lust. “You look incredibly hot in those. As I was telling Rosie here, we should probably get them in the other colors too—the sapphire blue, dark green, purple and black. What do you say, sweet?”

I turned around to look at my reflection. 

The cut was simple, the lace only woven along the edging of the bra and its straps. The cups were smooth and unadorned. The panties were a boyleg cut, a small strip of matching silk running down the front to cover the necessary area, the rest of it made up of stretchable yet intricately patterned lace.

It was sexy but practical—my preferred combination.

I agreed to get them in the other colors and tried on a few more things at Sebastian’s insistence. By the time we were done, I had a huge bag full of luxurious lingerie, a mix of sexy and casual night gowns and a dozen more of my favorite cotton panties in fun, bold prints.

I was already swearing off shopping when we got into the car. 

I handed Sebastian the remaining thirty-two dollars from my shopping budget and the credit card I never used and he just gave me a pointed look before taking them and putting them back into his wallet.

We stopped by at a cozy and quaint bakeshop named Old Cafe where we enjoyed a late lunch of savory crepes and gourmet coffee al fresco, completing the Parisian experience I’m certain the place was going for.

Sebastian and I had just stepped out of the cafe and stopped by the sidewalk where he bought two bouquets of flowers from a vendor—blue hyacinths which he gave me and white calla lilies which he kept for himself. I bugged him about them and he’d just pulled me close for a quick, answering kiss when I heard the unmistakable sound of a camera lens snapping.

I whirled around and found a photographer a few feet away from us, standing between the newspaper stand and the lamp post, angling a large, high-powered camera at us.

“Shit,” Sebastian hissed, quickly cupping the back of my head and turning me towards him, my face trapped between his chest and raised arm. “Let’s go.”

The town car pulled up on the curb and Sebastian nearly shoved me through the door.

“Jennison, we have a pap right in front of the cafe,” Sebastian said in a clipped, business-like tone. “About five-foot-seven, caucasian male, buzz cut, black shirt with a Rolling Stones logo on it. I want him emptied, understand?”

“Yes, sir,” the man answered somberly before clicking on his ear piece and connecting to what I assumed was another member of Sebastian’s security staff.

“What are you going to do to him?” I asked Sebastian in a small voice.

“Nothing like you’re thinking,” he answered gruffly after studying my face for a moment. “We’ll just buy off all his photos and exclusive rights to them. I don’t want your face splattered all over the tabloids. I will not have you hounded and harassed.”

I wanted to point out that if he meant for us to stay together, I couldn’t stay hidden forever, but his mood blackened so quickly and dangerously that I kept my mouth shut.

He was being protective and I understood that.

I set aside the hyacinths and folded my hands over my lap as I stared out of the car window.

Sebastian sat next to me, his arm slung over the back of my seat, the tension reverberating from his body made him seem like a coiled cobra about to spring forward for the kill.

Before we knew it, the car pulled up at an empty, winding drive sloped on the side of a hill.

I peered out of the window. “Are we... Is this...It’s—”

“Cedar Hill,” Sebastian mumbled before slipping out of the car. He came over to my side just as I was opening my door and helped me down.

Cobalt Bay’s oldest and most exclusive cemetery was sprawled out over rolling hills covered in bright green grass and large oak and weeping willow trees. Old-fashioned tombstones rose from the ground and weathered stone angels loomed over like watchers of the dead.

I was certain he’d mentioned Cedar Hill earlier when he was giving me a rundown of our itinerary for the day but I didn’t pay much attention to the last few things on that list. 

“What are we doing here?” I asked, looking up at Sebastian who was gazing out across the stretch of graves, one hand holding the calla lilies.

“Introducing you to someone,” he said as he took my hand and led me up the path along the crest on the hill.

Five minutes later, we were at the highest point in the cemetery, facing the view of the ocean in the distance. At that secluded spot was a beautiful tombstone with an arched top, the borders edged with a carved artwork of vines and flowers. Flanking it were two white stone angels, their heads bowed, their hands clasped in prayer.

Lady Marianna Victoria Roseanne Vice

1952 - 1984

Spin and die

To live again a butterfly.

“It’s from one of her favorite children’s poems,” Sebastian said quietly as he crouched down and placed the calla lilies on a stone vase in front of the tombstone. “It’s by Christina Georgina Rossetti and she read it to me often when I was young. It’s about an ugly caterpillar which must overcome the obstacles of its metamorphosis to become a butterfly.”

He reached forward and dusted some dirt off the surface of the tombstone. 

“I gave a note with that line scribbled on it to Alfred who was then looking after her funeral arrangements,” he continued, his voice straining slightly with emotion. “I thought it would remind her in the after life that she’s finally free and as beautiful as she can be.”

Sebastian rearranged the flowers and pulled some of the wild weeds that had poked at the base of the stone angels. “She was very beautiful, you know? She was the daughter of an earl, delicate and sweet-natured. She never said a mean thing about anyone and she was always reminding me of my manners. She had golden blond hair and green eyes. I always thought she was an angel. A very sad one in most of my memories but an angel nonetheless.”

His hand crushed the weeds before he threw them away, his knuckles tight and slightly trembling. “I’m cursed with an excellent memory but what I would give to only remember her smiles and laughter, few and far between they may have been. She’d be smiling right now if she can see me.”

Words lodged in the back of my throat along with my tears but before I could say or do anything, Sebastian got up on his feet and took my hand, leading me forward gently.

“Mama, I want you to meet Cassandra,” he said in a tender voice and an image of a young and sweet-natured Sebastian flashed in my mind. “She’s the girl I’m desperately in love with.”

My breath caught in a gasp at his declaration and my fingers tightened around his.

He glanced at me, his smile shy. “Cassandra, I want you to meet my mother. I want her to know that she doesn’t have to worry about my happiness.”

Tears spilled down my cheeks but I quickly swiped them away as I nodded, unable to speak.

“Don’t cry, darling,” he said soothingly, gathering me into his arms and stroking my back. “I don’t want my mother to think I’m a spectacular failure at keeping you from crying.”

I laughed through my tears and pulled away a little. “Happiness is never without tears. That’s how you tell the difference.”

He smiled and kissed me on the forehead. 

“I love you, Cassandra,” he said quietly.

My heart pounding, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly.

“I love you too, Sebastian.”

A breeze blew by as we held each other, stirring the leaves to rustle and the branches to sway seductively with the wind. 

Amidst an audience of souls from lifetimes past, I felt our unspoken promise transcend this world and into the next, where I hoped one woman in particular was listening because I owed her my gratitude for the man in whose arms I came fully and majestically alive.

 ***

A/N: If some of you are wondering why the hell I threw in some Brit nobility in here, it's because I love regency romance so please, indulge me in this. This is, after all, a modern-day kind of fairytale. =)

Summer will be over soon for Cassandra and Sebastian. What will it mean for their complicated romance?

 Vote and comment and watch out for Chapter Eleven!

 P.S. If you get bored waiting for an update, check out The Mischievous Mrs. Maxfield. It's a story I'm actively writing so I don't update it as fast as this Virtue and Vice but it's a good one too—at least that's what people have been telling me. LOL! Fun to read and a bit light-hearted. Thank you!