A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you so much to those of you who'd been following this story. The comments are so entertaining. I love them so keep them coming... There's definitely a lot of mixed reactions now to how things are coming together (or not) in the story so here's more...

As usual, if you like it and want to see more, vote and comment! 

***

I woke up with a headache and a very stiff back.

That was my reward for having too much to drink and falling asleep in a dry tub last night.

I had no appetite but I was feeling faint that I eventually stuffed some crackers into my mouth before pushing it down with some scalding coffee.

I showered, popped some muscle relaxant and lied down on a heating pad for an hour until the stiffness subsided.

Gabe was picking me up at two so I started getting ready no matter how uninterested I was in the entire process.

Fall in Cobalt Bay was still warmer than other parts of the country but I passed on the summer dresses and put on a gray sweater dress that still flattered my shape and paired them with classic riding boots.

My eyes were tired and had circles underneath but dabbed with a bit of concealer, I looked passable.

Gabe arrived in a sleek, blue Porsche. 

When he saw my face, his bright expression dimmed swiftly.

“Cassie, what’s wrong?” he asked as we stood by the front steps of the apartment building. 

I looked away but he cupped both sides of my face and studied me closely.

“You don’t look well,” he observed. “Are you sick?”

I snorted. “This is what I get for overimbibing in spirits. It’s nothing some greasy food and rest couldn’t cure.”

He frowned. “There must be a pretty good reason for you to have overimbibed in the first place. You told me yourself you barely drink.”

“I can when the occasion calls for it,” I retorted, slightly annoyed at the interrogation.

I had to remind myself that Gabe was a friend and was legitimately concerned and I shouldn’t snap at him for caring.

“I’ll be fine, Gabe. Don’t worry about it,” I reassured him, gesturing to his car. “Now let’s go. I don’t want to miss anything.”

The barbecue was held in White Shores Resort and Country Club. It was no backyard barbecue. There were dozens of buffet tables that served gourmet food with some ‘barbecue inspiration’. The tables were draped in pristine white cloth, the food servers were dressed sharply, the music and entertainment supply was endless thanks to a local band, and even the drinks bar was generous.

I hadn’t seen any sign of Sebastian and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to see him at the moment. I distracted myself with the company of Gabe and my other work friends. It was nice to see everyone in a different, more relaxed environment, and even those from higher ranks rubbed elbows with everybody.

I was feeling a bit tired and dizzy that I decided to freshen up.

I excused myself from our table and walked to the main building that housed the indoor facilities and hotel. The entire population of the company headquarters had pretty much taken over the place that there weren’t that many people currently staying in the hotel.

I was just about to turn into a smaller hallway that led to the washrooms when a distinct voice caught my attention.

“I told you I need time to think. It will be okay, Natalie, don’t worry.”

I froze and flattened my back against the wall, unable to turn around and run away before I heard more.

“Have you told her the truth?” Natalie’s unmistakable voice responded. “She’s not going to be happy to find out what you’ve been keeping from her. She has to know what happened the last couple of nights, Sebastian. You need to tell her the truth.”

“What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her,” he snapped irritably. “She’s not a part of this and there is no need for her to be. Give me a couple of days, Nat. In the meantime, you probably should go. I’d invite you to stay for the festivities but it’s not a good idea. Not with Cassandra being here today too.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snarling at them.

I couldn’t feel pain or anything else—just white-hot fury—although inside my heart was ice cold.

I literally started seeing red and I had the fiercest urge to strike them.

I was dangerous and I needed to get away before I did anyone bodily harm, including myself.

I pushed off the wall and turned back to the main lobby, colliding with a bell-boy who was pushing a cart full of suitcases. 

I yelped in surprise as I staggered back a few steps but despite the sudden commotion, I heard Sebastian’s loud gasp.

I glanced back at the hallway and saw him standing there, his hands grasping Natalie by her elbows.

Not trusting myself to say or do anything else, I mumbled an apology to the employee before dashing out of the hotel.

“Cassandra!”

I ignored Sebastian’s bellow as I ran down the grassy field and headed for our table.

Gabe, along with a couple other people, looked up, startled as I practically fell over my seat.

“I have to go,” I told Gabe, grabbing my jacket. “Stay and enjoy the party. I have to go.”

“Cassandra!” 

Everyone turned at the thunderous shout that punched through the mellow music the band was playing for dinner and with a quick glance over my shoulder, I saw Sebastian sprinting across the open field where the whole banquet was set up, dodging the food servers and other guests.

I turned and ran towards the exit driveway, not once pausing, but just as I reached the boundary where the grass ended, a strong grip caught my elbow and swung me back around.

“Let go of me!” I hissed at him, trying to tug my arm free. 

We were far enough from the event that people couldn’t hear our conversation but they could still see us quite clearly from a distance even though we were standing by a grove of trees.

“Why the hell wouldn’t you stop running?” he demanded, looking furious. “If you would just calm down and—”

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do, Sebastian. I’m pushed as far as I can go,” I bit out coldly. “Just let me go. Then you can run back to Natalie and whatever it was that I rudely interrupted you two doing.”

His eyes flashed. “It’s not what you think—”

“Don’t you dare presume to know what I’m thinking either. In fact, don’t dare come near me ever again, do you hear?” I gave a good hard tug on my arm but his grip was iron-clad. “I’m done with you, Sebastian. Done for good.” 

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, Cassandra,” he said gruffly. 

I leveled him a furious glare. “I forgave you once, thinking you didn’t mean to hurt me. But dragging Natalie here after making off with her for the past two nights is just too personal an attack I can’t help but believe that you’re now just  intentionally trying to hurt me.”

His expression grew grimmer. “Maybe a little bit of hurt is better than reluctance. Maybe if it hurt a little bit, I can assure myself that there is something to hold on to after all.”

“You’re just cruel, Sebastian.”

“No, you’re the cruel one, Cassandra,” he ground out. “You still won’t trust me. You say you’ve forgiven me but you still let the past eat away at whatever love you have left for me. You still deny us both what we want just to further punish me. I know I deserve every bit of it but you don’t and that makes it harder for me to watch.”

I gave a derisive laugh. “It’s hard to let go of your past sins when you tote them around you. It’s hard to trust you when you disappear for two days and suddenly appear with Natalie. I thought you meant everything you’d said to me in the past few weeks but that’s just not the case, is it, Sebastian?”

“You’re misinterpreting the situation with Natalie,” he snapped. “Just like you did before.”

“Then tell me the truth!” I shot back at him. “You lost me four years ago by letting me go without telling me the truth. I’m giving you a chance to explain yourself right now, Sebastian.”

His green eyes shuttered, his profile stony. “I can’t. You just have to trust me, Cassandra.”

“Fat lot that will do me if you can’t trust me yourself.” I took a deep breath and looked him directly in the eye, blinking back the hot tears that threatened to gush down my face. “Let me go, Sebastian. For good. You’ve had your fun with me. Twice. I can’t play your games anymore.”

“This has never been a game and you know it,” he said hoarsely, some emotion returning to his face. “You’re the one who wanted time and rules and here we are—no better than when we started.”

I swallowed down against the surge of sobs coming up my throat. “No, not really. And you know what? I don’t regret asking for time—because it made many things obvious before it was too late.”

With a violent yank, I freed my arm from his grasp and turned to run towards the gate.

There was a short line of cabs waiting outside and I deposited myself in one of them, startling the driver. 

I gave him my address and thrust a fifty-dollar bill to him. 

I heard a shout again and I looked back and saw Sebastian rushing towards the taxi, pummeling the door to the passenger seat to get me to open it.

“Go!” I yelled at the driver. “Step on it!”

I got shoved backwards as the driver slammed on the gas but I barely cared. 

I curled into myself in the back seat, cold and dazed and trembling, unable to cry or say anything.

From the rearview mirror I could see Sebastian standing in the middle of the road, staring after the cab.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to truly leave him behind this time around.

***

At the last minute, I told the cab driver to drop me at a hardware store.

I went and bought a new lock and arrived at Ty and Emma’s apartment.

Emma took one look at me before drawing me into a hug. Ty eyed the package from the hardware store and glanced at Emma for a moment, before taking it from me and grabbing his tools and keys.

After he was gone, Emma led me to the guest bedroom I’d used for three days after our arrival at Cobalt Bay and got the bed ready for me while I washed up and changed into one of Emma’s shirt and pajamas.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked gently when she came by with a cup of tea for me.

I shook my head as I gratefully accepted the cup, scooting over to give Emma a spot to sit on the edge of the bed.

“You can stay here as long as you want,” she said as she pulled her legs up the bed and tucked them under her. “I can go grab some of your stuff.”

“It’s alright,” I assured her. “I just need the locks changed. I’m not going to hide myself away. I’m better than that.”

She smiled faintly. “You are. You’re also stronger.”

I almost snorted out loud, to say that sometimes, it took a lot of convincing for me to believe that, but I didn’t. 

There was no choice but to be stronger.

Thanks to Sebastian, I have some experience in a broken heart. I managed for four years, holding it in so the wounds wouldn’t rip open again. Now they’ve been sliced anew but I knew the way to survive.

For several minutes, Emma and I just sat in silence, which was a rare thing considering Emma’s bubbly personality, but she asked nothing, offered no advice. 

“What if I never fall in love with anyone else, Em?” I asked out of the blue. “What then?”

Emma regarded me with keen blue eyes. “You can always learn to love someone. It’s not quite as magical as falling hard and fast for someone but it can be just as happy.”

I smiled wryly. “The thing about magic is that many times, it’s nothing more than a combination of tricks and illusions.”

Emma opened her mouth to say something but my cellphone just vibrated loudly on the nightstand.

“Ignore it,” I said when Emma glanced at it then back at me, waiting for me to do something. “He can burn his ear off trying to call me. I had zero contact with him for two days. He can have a taste of his own medicine.”

“Knowing what I know about him, I doubt that Sebastian would stop at calling,” Emma commented. “How are you going to avoid the man if you’re working for him in the same building?”

I inwardly cringed at the truth of Emma’s words.

But then, that’s counting on the possibility that Sebastian actually still wanted anything from me. If he had Natalie to keep him busy, I couldn’t imagine why he would waste his time chasing me down.

I drifted off to sleep soon after Emma left me to rest.

I was so tired I couldn’t even cry anymore. 

A loud commotion woke me up. I thought it was the TV but I heard yelling so I leapt off the bed and hurried out to the living room.

Ty and Emma were huddled against the door with Emma yelling at someone on the other side.

“She doesn’t want to see—”

“Ems? What’s going on?” I asked and both Ty and Emma whirled around to face me.

Ty grimaced. “I ran into Sebastian as I was leaving your apartment. I didn’t tell him you were here but he was convinced enough to follow me back. He got through the front door and he’s standing outside in the hallway.”

“I already warned him we’ll call the cops,” Emma said, looking thoroughly exasperated. 

I briefly closed my eyes, anger and frustration surging through me, before I started for the door.

“I’ll talk to him before he decides to break down the door,” I said when neither Emma nor Ty moved to let me through. “I can handle him. I don’t want to but he won’t leave until he sees me so I might as well get this over with.”

Emma grasped my arm. “Cass, you don’t need to do this. Let me call the cops to escort him out.”

“I doubt that would deter him.” I squared my shoulders and motioned for them to let me pass. “It’s my mess. I’ll deal with it.”

Reluctantly, the couple moved away from the door and let me unlock it.

“Cassandra,” Sebastian breathed in relief as I stepped out into the hallway. A couple of people had their heads peeking out of their units, giving us a disgusted glance before shutting their doors close.

“I kept calling you but you weren’t answering,” he rambled on, reaching forward to pull me close but I quickly moved away. He looked worse than he did earlier but I steeled my heart against sympathy.

“Drives you crazy, doesn’t it?” I asked caustically. “Trying to get a hold of someone, wondering what’s going on, and never being able to hear anything back.”

His face clouded with guilt. “I was... preoccupied. There were very urgent matters I was attending to.”

I raised a brow. “What’s so urgent you couldn’t pick up your phone and type me up a short message?”

“I left my phone on the plane,” he answered, running a hand through his hair—a sure sign of his agitation. “By the time I remembered, it was too late. We were already too far from the airport. And then things got a little crazy.”

“So you left Cobalt Bay,” I said, mostly thinking out loud. “So you left in the middle of the night to fly out of the city and then what? Did you rendezvous with Natalie? She seems to be candidate number one whenever you walk out on me.”

Sebastian’s fists clenched. “Natalie was just helping me with something. Nothing more.”

“Of course,” I replied tartly. “Same way she helped you when I broke your heart four years ago. She should probably set up shop and make money with her talent at comfort.”

“That’s an unfair comment and you know it,” he said with narrowed eyes.

Hurt slashed through me but I held my chin high. “If you didn’t want to hear my opinion, you should’ve left me alone. I meant what I said when I told you to let me go, Sebastian. This didn’t work four years ago and there’s no way in hell it’s going to work now. You almost had me convinced things were going to be different this time. You were really good but thank God, I’m suspicious.”

I watched Sebastian struggle with his rising temper, aware that he was close to snapping out of control. “Just because I can’t tell you the truth doesn’t mean I’m lying. I did not rendezvous with Natalie or any other woman anywhere. You have to trust that.”

“Trust means squat if it’s only required of one person,” I retorted, stunned and appalled at his logic. “And at this point, I don’t really care about the truth anymore, Sebastian. I don’t care about anything between us at all. So go home and leave me and my friends in peace. Go rattle in your cage somewhere else.”

I reached for the door.

“I love you, Cassandra,” he suddenly said, his voice soft and breaking. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Why can’t you just trust that I love you so much?”

Fortunately, I was turned away from him because tears lined my eyes as pain ripped through me once again tonight. I bit my lip to keep myself from gasping out in sobs as I swallowed hard to push back the waterworks.

My grip on the knob tightened. “Eventually love crumbles at the weight of lies and secrets, Sebastian, and you better hope they’re worth it because they’re all that you’ll be left with.”

I pushed the door open and slipped inside, locking it swiftly behind me.

The tears fell and I pressed my cheek against the door, silently shaking with suppressed sobs. 

I didn’t resist when Emma gently pulled me away from the door and wrapped me in a hug.

I don’t know how long I cried again that night, but it seemed like I could cry forever.

***

The days that followed blurred together.

On Wednesday, Tamara showed up at my office and with no preliminaries, asked, “Should I be worried?”

I didn’t have to ask her to expound that question.

I just shrugged. “I’m perfectly capable of doing my job.”

She studied me for a second, obviously debating whether to take my word for it or not.

I didn’t blame her. 

My fight with Sebastian at the barbecue, including the outrageous yet unfortunately accurate fact that he ran across the field chasing after me, had been quite public and people had been buzzing nonstop about our ‘fall out’ if one could call it that. Of course, no one really knew how far back Sebastian and I went and the depth of our relationship—or what had been left of it anyway. Nevertheless, there was plenty enough fresh gossip for anyone interested.

“Good,” Tamara said with a satisfied nod before closing the door behind her.

The last time I saw that look on her face was a week and a half ago, when she told me she’d dealt with Dana. 

Maybe she was starting to wonder if I, talented may be, was worth all this headache for her.

I sighed.

The last few days had been difficult—I barely ate, I barely slept—I was functioning on auto-pilot and crossing my fingers that it would get me through this hell.

I was still furious at Sebastian—for Natalie, for his secrets, for his demand of my trust when he was so tight-fisted with his.

Mostly, I was furious at myself—for being so foolish in thinking that we had a second chance, for letting myself get carried away again, for being so weak at resisting Sebastian’s lure.

I expected that with some time, my anger will cool down to a mere simmer but for now, everyday was a damned battle.

Sebastian had stayed away since our confrontation that night at the hallway.

I decided it was for the best—I couldn’t really have asked for anything better although I didn’t understand why I felt quite annoyed by it as well.

Marcus arrived on Thursday and called to ask me to meet him for dinner.

Since I had nothing better to do but mope around at home, I said yes. We went to a dinner and movie and he drove us to the Lookout, a high point in the outskirts of the city that overlooked the ocean. It was a popular date/make-out spot but I was barely concerned when Marcus suggested we stop at a convenience store to get some ice cream before we headed out there.

Since it was a weeknight, the parking lot along the view point was empty. We rolled the windows halfway down, letting the crisp fall air in as we dug into our individual pint-cups of Ben & Jerry’s. He told me about his trip and the race that took him there, the parties, the interesting people he’d met—it offered an incredible amount of distraction that I was grateful for.

“I really thought ice cream would be enough to cheer anyone up,” he quietly commented after a while. 

I glanced at him and knew that he knew something was going on with me. 

I sighed. “It certainly helps make it more bearable.”

“What can I do?” he asked impatiently. “I can’t stand this... desolation... that I see on your face. I’ve gotten used to you smiling with those dimples, laughing out loud. You’ve always reminded me of a summer day and right now, you look like the dead of winter.”

My face flushed. “I’m sorry I’m not such an awesome company—”

“No, that’s not what I’m talking about,” Marcus interjected quickly. “I want to know how I can cheer you up. Make you smile and laugh again. I’ve only spent four hours with you since I got back but it’s hard to miss just how miserable you are.”

“I know, I can’t miss that fact either,” I murmured, lowering my eyes. “But I expect it will go away eventually.”

“That’s not very reassuring,” he said, giving me a pointed look. “I’m certain Sebastian has something to do with this but I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk about it.”

I managed a weak smile. “That might be a while.”

He shrugged. “I’m in no rush.”

I studied Marcus for a moment. He was really quite handsome—that charming, wholesome kind of attractiveness that was hard to resist. He was also a really nice guy, even with his playboy reputation.

Inspiration suddenly struck.

I leaned forward. “Marcus, I was wondering...”

He raised a brow as he put the lid back on his now-empty cup before depositing it in one of the cup-holders between our seats. “Yes?”

“Will you kiss me?” 

He blinked. “What?”

My cheeks warmed but it was too late to back out now. “I just... I want you to kiss me.”

Marcus stared at me for a moment, obviously contemplating my request and fortunately, not looking put out about it.

“Come here,” he murmured, plucking the ice cream cup out of my hands and setting it aside.

He cupped the back of my neck and gently pulled me closer, his face angling down until I felt his breath tickle my cheek.

When our lips touched, a sense of warmth came over me but even as we leaned in closer to deepen the kiss, it felt exactly as it was—experimental and academic.

I was comfortable because it was Marcus and he’d become a good friend but I didn’t feel that overpowering sense of being afire yet adrift at the same time—a feeling I get only when it was Sebastian kissing me, touching me, making love to me, holding me.

We pulled away slowly, gazing at each other with curiosity.

“I think it’s safe to say that we’re not moving past being just good friends,” he remarked with a wry smile as we settled back in our seats. 

I grinned, my first real one in days. “I think you’re right.”

Then we burst out laughing.

“Hey, I have something that might take your  mind off things for a while,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “My baby sister’s getting married this weekend at Napa Valley, in her fiance’s family vineyard. I’m flying out Friday evening and I was wondering, if you don’t have anything else planned, if you would come with me.”

I raised a brow. “Me? Why don’t you bring an actual date?”

“I don’t really have anyone else I’d like to take and besides, with you on my arm, I might be able to dodge a lot of the women who throw themselves at my feet,” he explained matter-of-factly. 

“Sounds like there are hordes of them,” I said with a laugh. “It might be a safety issue, all these women risking bodily harm just to win a place in your heart—or in your bed.”

Marcus grinned sheepishly. “As fun as it may sound, it isn’t always so. Sleeping with a woman you barely know anything about can sometimes feel... empty.”

I regarded Marcus as his words tugged unexpectedly at my heart.

I thought of the countless women Sebastian had slept with and although it irritated me, it didn’t sting as much as it did thinking about Natalie and the fact that she knew him intimately—not just his body but his mind, heart and secrets.

He wouldn’t think sleeping with her felt empty.

“Hey, you’re looking grim again,” Marcus reminded gently, tilting my chin up. “So, do you want to come with me? There’ll be plenty of great food, music, maybe even dancing knowing my sister, and of course, my unparalleled company.”

I laughed, the vise around my heart loosening. “Has anyone told you you’re tenacious?”

“Only in context of certain body parts,” he answered with a naughty wink. 

Fixing my gaze on Marcus, I bit my lower lip as I mulled it over. “Ty and Emma had mentioned they were going to it, too. But they both leave tomorrow morning, to give themselves some time to look around. I was just going to bum around this weekend.”

“Which is why you should come with me,” Marcus cajoled. “We’ll be back Sunday evening.”

I wasn’t sure if Sebastian was going to ever darken my doorstep again but I wanted to avoid seeing him at all costs. “You know what? I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

Marcus beamed. “Awesome! Come on, let’s get you back home before it gets too late.”

As we drove home, we discussed trip details. We spent quite some time arguing about who’s paying for my ticket. I insisted I would (the generous bursary plus my part-time job plus my frugal spending in college resulted to quite a healthy amount of savings for me) but he reassured me that he had more than enough miles to not have to pay for an extra ticket. In the end, he won.

The next day, I was in a better mood.

I looked forward to the trip.

It was an escape I needed.

Emma had sounded a bit unsure when I called her up the night before to tell her I was meeting her and Ty there. She said she wanted me to come but she wasn’t sure if going with Marcus was the best idea. She probably thought I’d get into another complicated relationship with her cousin but to be perfectly honest, Marcus and I felt like buddies, strange as it may seem.

People noticed my lighter mood at work but made no comment on it.

I mentioned to a couple people that I was going to Napa Valley for the weekend, thinking that it was harmless but when I went home after lunch, after taking a half day to start packing, I realized how wrong I was.

I was filling up my toiletries bag when a series of angry raps abused my door.

I groaned, dreadfully aware of who was on the other side.

“Cassandra, open the damned door!” 

I walked to it and glared at the door as if my glare could penetrate through the wood. “I don’t want to see you, Sebastian. Go away!”

He rapped on my door a lot harder. “Well, I want to see you and if you don’t open this bloody door this instant, I’m going to break it down.”

“I’ll have you arrested!” was my peevish yell. 

“Cassandra,” he replied in a low, dangerous growl and just as I heard the sound of his footsteps retreating, I rushed to yank open the door, certain he was about to charge forward and hurl himself against it.

“What do you want?” I demanded as I stood in the doorway, glowering at him.

I ignored the knot at my stomach at the sight of his face—exhausted, rough and unshaven and etched with suffering. 

He marched into the apartment, stopping when he glanced at the small, nearly-full suitcase I laid out on the living room floor. He turned around to face me, looking stricken.

“You can’t go with Marcus, Cassandra. Do you hear me?” 

I took a step back but he quickly grabbed me by the elbows. “You’re in no position to tell me what to do, Sebastian. I’d really like to finish packing so I suggest you get the hell out of my apartment.”

He pulled me to him and caught my mouth in a crushing kiss and although his breath still tasted as sweet and familiar, I detected hints of whisky in it.

It was the middle of the afternoon on a weekday.

I shoved him on the shoulder but he barely budged.

Grabbing on to his hair, I yanked it hard until he finally tore his mouth away from me.

My palm burned as it smacked against his cheek and I swallowed at the pain that flickered across Sebastian’s face as he staggered away. 

“Goddamn it, Cassandra!” he roared, his green eyes flashing dangerously. “How much do you plan on punishing me?”

“I’m not punishing you,” I retorted with a shaky breath. “In case I wasn’t clear, we are done, Sebastian. I’m merely moving on with my life and I’d like you to stay the hell out of it.”

“No! No!” He whirled around and grabbed my suitcase, striding to the French doors of the balcony and to my utter horror, suddenly tossing the entire thing and all of its contents over the railing.

“Sebastian, you ass!” I shrieked as I ran to the balcony and looked down to the pile of clothes and personal items heaped over my now misshapen suitcase on the courtyard grounds.

I turned to him, ignored the instant remorse that filled his eyes and started pummeling him on the chest a few times in blazing fury. 

“Why do you like hurting me so much?” I gasped out in angry sobs. “Why? Why!”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist, holding my hand back before I could inflict more injury.

“I’m so sorry, Cassandra,” he murmured in a thick voice. “I don’t know what... I just—”

I snatched my hand away and ran to the door, rushing down the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator.

The afternoon air was slightly nippy and I shivered, barely remembering that I was only in a pair of cotton shorts and a shirt. I dropped on my knees, not caring about the damp and dirty earth under the crisp grass, and started scooping all my stuff back into the suitcase which barely held together after having been dropped ten stories high.

Sebastian crouched down beside me a moment later, frantically picking up my stuff and tucking them under his arms. “Cassandra, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to... God, I’m screwing up everything.”

“Glad you’ve noticed,” I snapped as I got up on my feet and dragged the suitcase across the cobbled path towards the door. 

Sebastian hurried after me, toting my other things in his arms. He followed me to the elevator where I stood in silent fury, staring at my soiled belongings, tears slipping down my cheeks.

Just as we were about to reach my floor, Sebastian groaned and slapped the emergency stop button, halting the metal box in its ascent. 

I lifted my eyes to glare at him, not trusting  myself to move or say anything.

He gently laid the items he was holding into the open suitcase before straightening up to look at me.

“I’m sorry I lost my temper for a minute there,” he started in a strained voice. “I will pay for all the damages. I’m just...” He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. “I just don’t understand why you’re so angry at me.”

I only raised my brow in disbelief.

“I got all your calls and messages when I finally retrieved my phone,” he went on. “I’m so sorry I missed my birthday dinner with you. I’m sorry I didn’t call or message you. I... I wasn’t myself in those two days and I was barely thinking. I’m sorry for the dumb and hurtful things I said during the barbecue. I’m... I’m so sorry.”

For a man who had pride for a backbone, that was a lot of apologies.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I suppose you’ll follow that up with I’m sorry I slept with Natalie again, I’m sorry we’re having an affair behind your back, I’m sorry—”

“I did not sleep with Natalie and I’m definitely not having an affair with her!” he thundered. 

My control snapped. “Then what the hell were you two doing together for two days, Sebastian? Solving world hunger?”

He stiffened. “I told you she was just helping me with something. It’s nothing you have to worry about. It’s just something about my... my family.”

“Your family?” I repeated hollowly. “You with your talk of pretty words about building a life together and how you love me so much—you can’t even tell me what’s going on with your family while your ex-girlfriend is helping you with it. You haven’t even introduced me to them!”

I hated the jealousy in my voice but it rubbed raw to realize just how removed I was from the entirety of Sebastian’s life. 

He scoffed, his face taut with a mixture of disbelief and anger. “The last thing I want to do is involve you with my family. You’ll just have to believe me when I tell you that it’s best for you to stay out of it.”

“How can I trust anything you tell me when you can’t even be honest with me?” I asked with a brittle laugh. 

A flicker of doubt crossed Sebastian’s face. “The truth isn’t just complicated, Cassandra—it’s ugly.”

I gazed at him patiently. “Ugly or not, the truth is better than lies.”

He released the emergency stop button and in a few seconds, the door opened to my floor. 

He stepped aside. “Not when the truth will make you hate me worse than you do now, Cassandra.”

I froze, uncertain of his meaning.

There was something deep and painful and frightening that he wasn’t telling me and for a moment I understood that he was protecting me, misguided though it was.

“Tell me, Sebastian.” I reached forward and touched his arm, gasping in a breath at the warmth of his skin. “Please.”

If a man were to be tortured, body and soul, he would look like Sebastian did now. 

“I can’t, Cassandra,” he rasped, his green eyes shining with tears. “Please don’t ask me.”

I closed the distance between us, my hand sliding up to press against his chest. He instinctively covered it with one of his own. “As angry and hurt as I am, I don’t want to go. Don’t let me go, Sebastian. But I can only stay if you’ll let me in. You can’t leave me out and expect me to love you completely when I don’t even really know the man that you are.”

He took a deep breath, a single tear escaping down his cheek. “I want you to love the man I’m trying to be for you. There’s no need to know the man I’m trying to leave behind.”

Tears burned hot behind my eyes as I slowly pulled my hand away. “If I kept a big part of myself away from you, if I chose to only show you what I want you to see, you’ll never fully love me, Sebastian. You’ll love the version of me I’ve shown you but you’ll never fully love me—you can’t love what you don’t know. I’ll never stop fearing that one day you’ll see what I hide and run away. And that’s why you’ll never trust me. Because you’ll always be expecting me to discover all your sins and make a break for it.”

“What’s to stop you from fleeing now if I tell you what you want to know?” he asked in barely a whisper.

I smiled weakly. “The fact that you’re giving me a choice. I’d rather know now than find out too late. I’d rather know this was my decision instead of the one you forced on me without my knowing.”

“I hate giving choices when one of the options doesn’t give me what I want,” he muttered morosely. “Don’t you see, Cassandra? I don’t need you to love all of me. I just need you to love me enough that you won’t leave me.”

I shook my head, stepping back. “I can’t love half a man, Sebastian. And I’m not afraid that I would leave. I’m afraid that you will.”

I pulled the suitcase out into the lobby, staring at the man I loved and hurt as he stood by the elevator doorway.

“I will never leave you, Cassandra!” he ground out, determination steeling his expression. “I will never leave the one person that means everything to me. Do you understand?”

Tears spilled down my cheeks as I nodded. “I understand, Sebastian. It’s just not enough.”

The despair that settled in his eyes nearly broke me but I squared my shoulders and turned away, dragging my battered suitcase down the lobby, forcing myself not to look back.

Hours later, when I came down to meet Marcus who waited outside in his car, I saw the Bentley parked down the street just across the road. The passenger window had been rolled down and although I couldn’t see his face, I knew Sebastian was watching me.

My heart twisted and I nearly lost the battle with myself and almost ran up to him.

It’s all or nothing, Cassandra. Remember that.

“Ready?” Marcus asked brightly as I strapped on the seatbelt.

I smiled and nodded. “Let’s go.”

***

So what do you think of Cassandra's decision to go off with Marcus? And what could be Sebastian's secrets?

Please vote and comment!

Cheers! -Ninya

***