I'm so angry, and frustrated, and sad, and depressed, and stressed out all at the same time.

I literally can't stand my mom. It's like everyday I have something else that I'm dealing with with her and she seriously makes everything a thousand times harder to deal with.

I've had a tough couple of weeks okay? And it feels like the next week it's only harder than the week before.

And then I get news that my uncle has covid, my brother was exposed to him, and now my entire family is exposed to that and I'm nearly positive my dad probably has it and we think my brother has it too so like for two or more weeks I'm stuck quarantining in my house with my family and losing my mind, freaking out and having panic and anxiety attacks over all this crap and just hoping everything will be okay and that we won't have covid and right now that seems unlikely and it's just like...

I can't take anymore. It's like I'll get done with one hard week and it's like oh yeah this week will be easier and then it's not. It's just harder. And it's worse than the last week.

And I feel so helpless and alone. Like I post things as a way to reach out and have people reach out to me and I just don't even feel like I have any friends.

I can't watch kids for my job for two or more weeks and so my routine has been thrown out the window and so instead I lay in bed for hours and just be sad, scrolling through Instagram or whatever and hoping for notifications from anyone or anything.

I'm turning twenty on Friday. I'm turning twenty on Friday and I'm stuck in my house and myself and the rest of my family is probably going to get covid.

It's like the plague. Someone in your family gets the plague, you're all locked in your house until you all die.

That's literally what it feels like right now. And it's just like I feel like people could care less. And they could care less about me.

I hate feeling like this. I just want someone to care.

And no one is going to see this. I've kinda figured that out that no one ever sees these really. Anyways... so I just write out and vent out everything that I'm feeling to try and help myself feel better.

Only good thing so far is my brother somehow got me into the new Pokémon game and I played for hours with him last night. It was fun. It was a nice distraction for a while.