Kabanata 34

NATATAWANG pinanood ni Jasia si Xibel na dali-daling umakyat papunta sa kuwarto. Saka niya lang binalik ang tingin kina Imris nang makapasok na ito.

"What's funny? Papa always smile though." Imris pouted while looking at the laughing Arator.

"My lord always smiles?" Napahawak naman sa baba si Xyphyr. "It was the first time I saw him smile."

Napasingkit ang kaniyang mga mata sa lalaki. Parang nakita na niya ito. Naramdaman yata nito ang kaniyang mga titig dahil tumingin ito sa kaniya.

Sabay silang napasinghap nang maalala ang isa't isa.

"You're the one who threatened me!" she shouted.

Tinuro naman siya nito. "You're the one my lord asked me to threaten!"

Napahawak naman siya sa kaniyang baywang at bumuntonghininga. Well, it wasn't like it still matters. Xibel and her relationship had gone way better, so there was no point of bringing it up.

"I'm sorry, miss. I was just ordered."

Nagulat naman siya nang yumukod ito. She didn't expect to hear an apology. Kaagad naman siyang napangiti. "It's all good now."

She then looked at Arator who was still talking with Imris. "Arator, hindi ka ba natatakot kay Xibel?"

Dati niya pang napapansin na minsa'y hindi nito sineseryoso si Xibel at binibiro pa. Even though he received threat in return, he seemed unfazed.

"Bakit naman ako matatakot sa aking boss lord? Binigyan niya ako ng pangalawang pagkakataong maging masaya kahit ako'y pumanaw na." A smiled formed acrossed his scarred lips. "Nandoon ako no'ng isa pang santo si Xibel. Isa ako sa mga taong binigyan niya ng pansin no'ng ako'y nabubuhay pa. At kahit hindi ko man siya makita, alam kong ang aking boss lord ang isa sa mga may pinakamagaang ngiti sa buong mundo."

Jasia watched how Arator's gaze softened. It was the first time his eyes squinted because of his big smile.

He must really have adored Xibel.

And at that moment, she wished that she was able to witness it too– to be part of the world where Xibel was still the saint of spring and good fortune. How would it feel to be more than just a reader?

"Lord Xibel is nice. He didn't put me in the Cage of Darkness. I can still see the world because of that." The other man said while scratching his nose.

Tinaas naman ni Imris ang kamay. "Papa gave me food too!"

Hindi niya ring mapigilang mapangiti. If she could recall too, after that particular day, Xibel had been careful about his words too. He was easier to talk to, and he, sometimes, initiated the conversation. Though, there was still a barrier between them, the moments they'd shared together convinced her that he didn't despise her anymore.

And if she could wish again, she wanted them to be a little more closer.

Her phone rang, making her open her purse. She looked at the caller and found May's name.

"Ah, excuse me." Tinaas niya ang phone bago nagtungo palabas.

Napalunok muna siya bago sinagot ang tawag. "Hello, May?"

"Miss Cecora. I have the result."

Mabilis na kumabag nang mabilis ang kaniyang dibdib matapos itong marinig.

Last week, after she saw Imris' birthmark, hindi siya nagdalawang-isip na kunan ito ng DNA sample. The butterfly-like mark carved on her neck resembled the baby she was looking for in the past four years. Lalo pang tumaas ang kaniyang duda nang maalala niya ang sinabi ni Xibel dati, na si Imris ay galing sa Coastal Orphanage.

Doon niya iniwan ang batang hinahanap niya.

"And what's the result? Is Imris my lost--"

"Jasia!"

Hindi natapos ang kaniyang sasabihin nang mapaigtad siya sa lakas ng boses na tumawag sa kaniya. Napababa ang kaniyang kamay nang tumambad sa harapan niya si Xibel. Salubong ang mga kilay nitong nakatingin sa kaniya–ang mga tinging minsan na niyang nasilayan no'ng hindi pa sila nagkakaintindihan.

"HER name is May. I saw her reporting to Miss Jasia. It seems that the miss has ordered May to observe the coast."

"W-what?" Parang nabingi si Xibel sa kaniyang nalaman. May was Jasia's secretary.

Napahawak siya sa kaniyang noo dulot ng pagkalito. Papaanong napasok si Jasia sa usapan? Bakit nito inutusan ang sekratarya na magmatiyag sa orphanage? Was she looking for someone too?

Right then, a conversation crashed into his mind. Pumasok sa isipan niya ang sinabi ni Jasia dati. She was donating several orphanages. What must be the reason was something he didn't know about. And somehow, his heart grew anxious as possibilities crept inside his mind.

What if she is Imris' mother? Was the first thing that came to his mind. However, he got no proof to provide. He couldn't just mutter about this just because they find the identity of the woman.

He needed a confirmation.

"You may go back," utos niya kay Stone at mabilis itong nawala.

Nagtungo siya palabas. Wala nang tao sa salas pero bahagyang nakaawang ang pinto. Hihilahin na niya sana ito pabukas ngunit nakita niya ang pigura ni Jasia dahilan para mapatigil. Pinanood niya itong kausapin kung sino man ang nasa telepono.

The rain manifested inside his palms as he began to shake. It was too sweaty that no matter how many times he rubbed it on his clothes, it would just came back the way it was nervous the first. Fear crept at the back of his head for what he was about to witness.

"Hello, May? What's the news?" Mahina ang boses nito.

He stared at Jasia's face until it turned into a joltering shock. Napahawak ang dalawang kamay nito sa telepono. "And what's the result? Is Imris my lost–"

The moment she spouted Imris' name, he didn't hesitate to push the door open and rushed to her direction.

"Jasia!" His lips shook.

When she turned to look at him, the first thing that came to his mind was asked her about Imris. Why was she talking about Imris with her secretary? What did she lose? Was his thought right?

"X-Xibel . . ." Her voice stuttered. Skin turning pale, she immediately turned off the call.

"What were you talking about? Why is Imris brought into the conversation?"

"Ah, well . . ." Ilang beses itong napakurap, nag-iisip ng puwede nitong sabihin.

"Don't you dare lie to me." He warned as he traced the movement of her lips. It was unusual for Jasia to lose her composure, making him assume she was indeed keeping something from him.

Something about Imris.

"I've found out something." He took a step closer. "My follower found out that you've been sending your secretary to the coastal orphanage. What must be the reason for that? Are you looking for a child?"

"Xibel, wait--"

"Is that also the reason why you are donating every single orphanage you can find?"

Huminga naman ito nang malalim. She met his sharp gaze. "Yes, you're right. I am looking for a child I left in the coastal orphanage four years ago."

Napakuyom ang kaniyang mga kamao matapos nitong marinig. A gush of stone ran up to his back and put his feelings heavy as he listened to every word she said.

"Remember what you told me in the lake? Sabi mo Imris came from that orphanage so I ordered May to inspect that orphanage again even though matagal na itong nakasara. I am still hoping to find her." Napahawak ito sa dalawang kamay. "And when I saw Imris birthmark on her neck last week, it reminded me of that child I am looking for. They were the same. Sorry kung hindi ko sinabi sa 'yong kumuha ako ng sample for a DNA test. I want to confirm if she is my--"

"She is your daughter." Xibel cut her words. Napaatras siya at 'di makapaniwalang tiningnan ang kabuohan nito. He knew where this conversation was going. From the look's of her nervous eyes and shaking lips, he figured that it was all longing for the child she left--for her daughter.

"How fool of me." Mapakla siyang natawa. Napasapo siya sa kaniyang noo nang mapagtanto kung gaano siya kabulag. He was looking for her parents only to find out she was just near all this time.

His back became heavier as coldness pierced through his throat as if he was losing his voice. "You were here all this time."

"Xibel--"

"You were here all this time!" he screamed. He didn't let her finish and pointed at her face. "How could you! How could you leave Imris outside that orphanage and came looking for her again!"

Hindi nakasagot ang babae. Nabato ito sa kinatatayuan habang patuloy niyang sinumbat ang umuusbong niyang galit. The pleading voice inside his head intensified, but he couldn't care less, Imris' struggle weigh more depth than her.

"Do you know what that child had gone through because of what you did?" He gritted his teeth. The image of Imris' back full of wounds came flashing his mind. "She was abused! She was still a child but you ruin it for her!"

"I . . ." She opened her mouth but words didn't come out. Instead, tears started to cloud her vision.

But Xibel became numb, and the only remaining emotion he had was Imris. He promised himself to make her parents suffer after finding them, but he was now caught off guard. It didn't cross his mind to be Jasia, the woman whom she started looking different from others.

His heart screamed pain; the heaviness focused on his chest that he wanted to turn around and never looked back again. He was almost ready to open up to her. He was slowly letting her inside of him, but why did this have to happen now? Of all people, why was it her?

"Jasia, you ruined everything for Imris." His shoulder dropped in surrender; his voice became low. "I will never forgive you for leaving a child behind while you are living the best days of your life."

"No, Xibel, You're getting it all wrong." Jasia tried to reach him, but he immediately moved away.

"Don't convince me with your lies." Napalunok siya dahil sa nanunuyo niyang lalamunan. Disappointment crossed his eyes as he watched the woman. "Here I thought you were different. But it seems that you were just as terrible from all the humans I've met. I will never listen to you again."

Bumagsak ang mga luha nito sa mga mata matapos niya itong bitiwan. There was a string of pain that punched his chest, but he couldn't find a place to care for that emotion now. Mas namayani ang galit at pagkadismaya niya sa bababe para intindihin ito.

"Don't show your face ever again."

Hindi na niya hinintay pa itong makasagot. Tumalikod na siya at mabigat ang mga paang bumalik sa loob ng bahay. He locked the door before going towards his room.

Sumalubong sa kaniya si Imris na kakalabas lang galing sa kusina at may dala-dalang tinapay.

"Papa, try this. Uncle Arator made this!"

Nang makita niya ang matingkad na ngiti nito, doon niya lang naramdaman ang panghihina. Napaluhod siya at kaagad itong sinalubong ng yakap. His shaking palms reached the back of her head and squeezed Imris right through his chest.

"Papa?"

"I'm sorry, Imris." He closed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't think I can give you back to your mother."

He had known they were irresponsible. But of all people, why did it have to be Jasia?

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