Trigger warning: This chapter contains sexual harassment. This may be uncomfortable for some readers so please, be advised. Prioritize one's state of mind all the time. Thank you.

PAGKALABAS ni Jasia, dali-dali siyang sumakay sa kaniyang kotse at pinaharurot ito pauwi. Hanggang sa makarating siya sa kaniyang kuwarto ay walang tigil pa rin sa pagragasa ang kaniyang mga luha.

Hindi niya inakalang lalabas iyon sa bibig ni Xibel. Hindi niya inakalang ganoon pala ang pananaw ng lalaki sa kaniya. Wala siyang ginawang masama o kahit magpakita man lang ng hindi magandang ugali kaya hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit kaya nitong magbitiw ng mga napakasakit na salita.

Tinapon niya ang sarili sa kama at niyakap ang kaniyang unan. Humagulgol siya habang naaalala ang isang memoryang pilit niyang kinakalimutan. When Xibel called him a desperate whore, she wasn't able to control herself and slapped him. Hindi nito alam kung gaano niya kinasusuklaman ang mga salitang iyon.

Nagtalukbong siya ng kumot habang paulit-ulit na umiling. Halos bumaon na ang kaniyang mga kuko sa unan, pinipigilan ang utak na bumigay at magpakain na naman sa alaalang matagal na niyang pilit na binabaon.

"Forget it, please . . ." Nagtaas-baba na ang kaniyang dibdib dulot ng kinakapos niyang paghinga. Umalingawngaw ang kaniyang pagtangis sa tahimik na kuwarto habang dahan-dahan na siyang binabalot ng nakaraan.

Ilang taon na rin pero hindi pa rin naibsan kahit kaunti man lang ang disgustong nararamdaman niya sa araw na iyon.

Hindi niya kasalanang naranasan niya iyon.

Hindi niya iyon ginusto.

"Please, please. Let's forget it, please," Jasia pleaded between her sobs. She held her legs, letting her nails punch through the skin and wincing herself in pain. Her mind shifted to the pain and for a moment, her attention diverted. Ilang minuto niya ring tiniis ang sakit hanggang sa humupa ang nagulo niyang utak at mahila ang sarili sa isang panaginip.

Paggising niya, halos hindi niya mahila ang sarili patayo dahil sa sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam. Nananakit din ang gilid ng kaniyang ulo dulot ng kakaiyak niya kagabi. Pero kahit na ganoon, pinilig niya pa ring bumangon. Pumasok na siya sa shower room at kamuntikan pang mapasigaw nang makita ang namumugto niyang mata sa salamin.

"Kasalanan 'to ni Xibel." Pinadyak niya ang mga paa bago tuluyang naligo.

Susunduin niya dapat si Imris ngayon at ihahatid sa paaralan nito pero ayaw niya munang magpakita sa mag-ama. Matapos ng nangyari kagabi, hindi pa niya kayang harapin ang lalaki. Total naman ay pinagduduhan na siya nito sa simula pa lang, bakit niya pa pipilitin ang sariling magmukhang mabait at responsable sa harapan nito.

"As if naman may mapapala ako sa 'yo kapag nagsinungaling ako, e, 'di mo nga kayang buhayin si Imris nang mag-isa." She rolled her eyes as she shampooed her hair. Babanlawan na sana niya ang ulo nito nang maglaro sa isipan ang binitiwan niyang salita.

Naalala niya ang ekspresyon ni Xibel. Kahit panandalian lang ay napansin niya ang panlalambot sa mukha nito.

Was I too much? She thought. But then immediately shrugged the thought away. "Too much, e, siya naman ang mas malala ang sinabi sa akin."

Nagpatuloy na siya sa pagligo.

Subalit nang makalabas siya at makapagbihis, hindi nawala ang mga binitiwan niyang salita at lalo lang siyang nagambala.

"Nakakainis! Ba't ako nagi-guilty?" Napakamot siya sa kaniyang buhok at pabagsak na umupo sa dulo ng kama.

Hindi niya rin naman sinasadya ang mga salitang binitiwan niya. Nadala lang din siya sa kaniyang emosyon. At ngayong naging kalmado na siya, isa-isa nang umakyat ang pagsisisi sa kaniyang puso.

She shouldn't have said that. What she did was no better than what he blurted. She was the worst.

"Anong gagawin ko?"

Kung bakit ba kasi galit na galit ito sa mga babae. Palagi na lang bukambibig nito ang babae. Na ang sama nila, na manggagamit sila, e, kung iisipin niya ay higit sa kasamaan naman ang mga lalaki. Ang mga lalaki ang tunay na manggagamit at kadalasan pa sa kanila ay walang respeto sa mga babae.

Alam niya dahil naranasan niya ito mismo.

"May nanakit kaya ro'n kaya ganoon?" Napabangon siya sa kaniyang kama at napatingin sa direksyon ng kaniyang upuan. Dali-dali siyang lumabas at nagtungo sa kuwarto ni Isabella. She might as well ask the writer.

"Isabella." She knocked on the door. "Isabella, gising ka na ba? May tanong ako."

"Ano?" matamlay nitong sagot. Mukhang kagigising lang nito.

"Ano bang mayroon kay Xibel? Problematic ba siya? May nanakit ba sa kaniya?"

"Why don't you just read the story? Tulog muna ako."

Napangiwi naman siya. Kahit kailan talaga itong si Isabella palagi siyang tinataboy. Magkatulad na magkatulad sila sa karakter nito.

Bumalik na lang siya sa silid. Inabot niya ang cell phone na nasa kama bago humiga. Alas singko pa lang ng madaling araw kaya marami pa ang oras niya bago ang kaniyang ballet practice. Kagaya ng sinabi ni Isabella, binuksan niya ang isang app kung saan nandoon nakapaskil ang kuwento nito.

"The Reincarnated Actress," mahina niyang sabi habang tinitipa sa search bar ang pamagat ng libro.

Nang makita ito, kaagad niya itong binuksan.

Ang kuwento ay tungkol sa isang aktres na namatay matapos saksakin ng co-actor nito. Nagising na lang ito isang araw na nasa katawan na ng isang babae at dalawampung taon na ang nakakalipas pagkatapos siyang pumanaw. Ang babaeng kinakatawan niya ay nagngangalang si Celestialiana Jasia.

"Heh, you used my name," she said with a small smile. Nagpatuloy siya sa pagbabasa nang makarating na sa parte kung saan nagising siya sa panibagong katawan. Kaagad siyang napabangon sa kama nang lumabas ang karakter na kilala niya.

'When I opened my eyes, everything felt heavy. Where am I? Where is this place? The last time I remembered I was stabbed. What am I doing here?  There was no house except the small pavilion I am in.

I scanned my eyes around the area, but I paused when I saw a man approaching my direction. But was it even a man? He looked like a creep!

I stood up into my seat and was ready to leave when the man suddenly grabbed my arm.

"Celestialana, my bounded soul, where are you going?"

"Get away from me!" Eyes circling, I immediately pulled my arm away from him. I couldn't stand the sight of him. The left side of his face looked like a monster had stepped on it and left a curse, it was disgusting. There was no way a normal person would like that!

"Celestialiana, what's wrong?" He tried touching me again but I immediately moved away.

"Don't touch me, you monster!" I shouted. "I am not Celestialana! I don't even know you! I don't know someone who looks so hideous!"'

Jasia went silent as she read the unfolding events. Bakit nandoon si Xibel? Magkakilala ba sila ni Celestialiana? Maraming mga katanungan ang nabuo sa kaniyang isipan habang patuloy na nagbabasa. Hanggang sa nagpakita na ang lalaking bidang karakter, hindi pa rin siya tumigil. Binilisan niya pa ang pagbabasa dahil may nais siyang malaman.

Ilang kabanata na ang kaniyang natapos at nakalimutan niya rin kung anong oras na.

She was too focused until she reached the point of view she was looking forward in reading.

It was Xibel's.

Muli siyang napahiga at dinahan-dahan ulit ang pagbabasa. Wala kahit ni isang salita ang kaniyang nilampasan lalo na't nang ibinulgar na ng kuwento na isa palang santo ang lalaki dati. Si Xibel ay isa sa mga pinakakilalang santo sa Fort Galron.

"Whoa . . ." Bahagya siyang namangha dahil sa deskripyon nito.

Xibel was once the most loved for his beauty and kindness. His perfect face brought calmness to people. And as he smiled at the humans, the spring came early and their harvest also became more bountiful because that was one of his favorite things to do; giving blessings.

'For more than a hundred years, my love for the humans in Fort Galron never changed. Even if some have passed away and a new body has already inhibited the land, I love them still. They are my favorite gift as a saint. Because of them I exist. And I will continue existing for them.

Even if the gods would choose to turn their back, I would helplessly give up my origin just to help them.'

"Why did you become a jerk then?" asik niya at pinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa. Nang tuluyan niyang maabot ang parte kung saan nagkakilala si Xibel at Celestialana, muli siyang natahimik.

Nasaksihan niya ang pag-iibigan ng dalawa sa pamamagitan ng mga salita. Kung paanong higit na napamahal si Xibel sa mga tao at kung paano niya handang iwan ang Holy Heaven para lang kay Celestialana dahil ipinagbabawal ang pag-iibigan ng isang mortal at santo.

And he did.

He left his home and cursed himself, making him lose his title as a saint. Cursing oneself was the biggest taboo in the Holy Heavens for it would represent impurity and a betrayal to oneself. But Xibel never cared because he was loved.

It never came across his mind that he would be forsaken.

Right just when Xibel was about to meet Celestialiana again, the reincarnation happened. The soul inhibiting the body of Celestialiana was no longer the original but the actress, Hamrae.

At iyon ang hindi alam ni Xibel. Ang nagtaboy sa kaniya ay hindi Celestialiana kundi si Hamrae. Hindi niya alam na wala na ang Celestialiana na minahal niya.

Pagkatapos ng pangyayaring iyon, sunod-sunod na pagdurusa ang dinanas ni Xibel. Tinalikuran siya ng tao dahil sa kaniyang mukha. He was stoned, cursed and casted away. Not only he was pushed away, but the dark desire of human nature made Xibel's sanity even more worse.

"No . . ." Kinabahan si Jasia sa mga susunod na nangyari. Nais niyang itigil na ang pagbabasa subalit hindi niya kayang ibaba ang cell phone.

Xibel's beauty was immaculate and there was no denying a lot of people, especially women, had been wanting to have him. Now that he was stripped off his title, they took this chance to use him at their advantage.

Napatakip sa bibig si Jasia sa mga sumunod na nangyari.

'I only know that they were good. I only knew they were precious. And so, I believed them. I believed the women who took me into their shelter. They told me good things, great things I have done for them. And I felt good. Even though I have been cast away from the Holy Heavens, they are still people who recognize who I am.

I thought they would treat me good. After all, they cleansed my wounded body without any disgust, and washed my clothes filled with blood and mud.

But then again, I was fooled.

They were nothing more than the people who stoned me. These women were way more worse than the ones who cursed at me.

While I was asleep, they stripped off my clothes and touched my every part. To the parts I never want to be touched. I tried to stop them, but I couldn't seem to move my body. Everything felt numb. My hands were paralyzed and my eyes were heavy. It was too late for me to realize they feed me with a poison. They wanted me weak so that they could do anything to me.

"Stop, please . . ." I could barely utter as their hands crept over my skin, their lips on me, and their body entangled over me.

Nine of them. Nine women brought me to hell.

I plead, and plead, and plead. My eyes were screaming tears yet they never even considered my plea. They all just laughed at me while telling how I tasted good. And when I heard that, the heavens knew how I wanted to vomit. But despite these feelings, my body seemed not to cooperate with my thoughts, contrasting it and making me feel more horrible.

I wanted to die at that moment. I wanted to kill myself and never live again.

I gave up my title for my bounded soul, for my Celestialiana. I did what she wanted, but she left me. She hated me. And the humans that I truly loved and treasure betrayed me. They violated me--my body and my love for them.

I couldn't understand. What did I do to them? I have been good, haven't I?'

"Xibel . . ." Hindi namalayan ni Jasia na tumulo na pala ang mga luha niya sa mga mata. Napakagat siya sa pang-ibabang labi upang pigilan ang sariling humikbi.

Pinagpatuloy niya ang pagbabasa hanggang sa ang kalituhan ni Xibel ay naging rason ng nagraragasa nitong galit. Nang bumalik ang kaniyang lakas at nawala ang bisa ng lason, hindi siya nagdalawang-isip na patayin ang mga babaeng ginalaw siya. At iyon ang unang beses na nakapatay si Xibel.

Dahil doon, muli siyang naparusahan. Isang parusa na tuluyang magbabago sa kung sino siya. Kinuha ang kakayahan niya at pinalitan ng isang napakamadilim na kapangyarihan. Hindi siya kailanman makakagawa ng bagay na matingkad at maganda. Siya'y nakulong sa isang kontrata ng pagiging isang necromancer.

May iba't ibang necromancer sa mundo at siya ay napabilang sa mga death necromancer. The death necromancer is the lord of the dead, the collector of souls. Xibel was stuck with a lifetime contract as a necromancer in order to atone his crime.

'I was the victim yet I bore the punishment. Since when did the world become so against me? What did I do wrong to deserve this?

I made the humans happy. I loved them. I gave them everything they wanted, but this is how they repay me? Where are the humans I have loved and cherished? Why did they never look at me the same way? Why did they betray me?

Oh, right. Because I look different. I looked like a monster. They hated my face. And it was all because of Celestialana.

I lost everything because of her. My title, my face, and my body . . . I lost everything.

"Curse them . . . curse all women!" I gritted my teeth as I sat on this dark palace the underground made for me.

The love I have was now erased by a betrayal.

And I would never forgive them.'

Napahagulgol si Jasia matapos basahin ang kuwento ni Xibel. Umakyat kaagad sa puso niya ang pagsisisi sa mga iniwang salita kagabi. Binitiwan niya ang cell phone at tinakpan ang kaniyang mukha ng unan.

She shouldn't have said all of that.