This is some half angsty hurt/comfort 😏 ok but Logan boi is suffering™ because of his feelings for Virgil and Virgil has no clue and then deceit is shit and Patton tries to make him feel better, he is good friend, but then deceit is shit again and Logan panics

Warnings: swearing, deceit being deceitful, someone gets punched, implied dirty dream (don't look at me like that, it's not as bad as it sounds)

This is a long one, my dudes. Wasn't meant to be, but I didn't know how to end it so I just kept writing and whoops, it's over 11300 words long

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Feelings, the bane of his existence.

He had said it before, but during the time he had not been in the situation he was in now. That had been nothing compared to what he was up against now. Dealing with other peoples emotions and feelings he was bad at. Dealing with his own emotions and feelings he was awful at.

Never before have he had to deal with anything like this. He could not even begin to fathom why this was happening. And why was it happening to him? If it was Roman or Patton he could understand it. They were the ones used to emotions. Even if it was Virgil he could understand it, any one of the others are better suited to handle emotions than him.

No, Logan could not for the life of him understand why he was feeling these feelings. It was frustrating and he had no idea what to do about them. Especially at times like these, when he was trying to fall asleep at night, he just could not keep his mind from thinking about it. He would rather just ignore it, but it was impossible.

Now, he was not dumb, he knew exactly what these feelings were. And he also knew there was nothing he could do to make them go away. He would just have to stand them until they went away. If they went away.

But why he was feeling this way? He had not got a clue. It was illogical and stupid. It was against everything he stood for. Logic and feelings just did not go together. And he is logic for fucks sake. He felt as if this whole situation was ripping him apart.

Everything in his life could be explained by logic. But these feelings he could just not understand the point of. Were they just here to drive him insane? What was the purpose of feeling? He did not know the answer to his questions and he wasn't going to figure it out tonight. He knew that because he had been asking himself the same things since he had became aware of his feelings and had yet to come up with an answer. So the chances of tonight being the night he suddenly found answers were low.

Despite being tired he knew he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. Giving up, he kicked the covers off of himself and sat up. He looked out over his room. Lately it had not been giving him the same sense of logic as it usually did, and being here did not make it easier to concentrate (at least not on what he wanted to concentrate on). He could bet it was because of his damned feelings.

So, accepting that he was not going to get any rest soon, he stood up. He grabbed his empty cup and the book he was currently reading that were both lying on his night stand. He was going to make some coffee and read a few chapters, then he was going to attempt to sleep again when the coffee had wore off. He made his way through his room and all the way to the doorway of the kitchen. He did not turn on any lights, finding it unnecessary when his eyes were used to the dark already.

Entering the kitchen he immediately spotted Virgil, the source of all of his current problems. He was sitting by the table in the dark. Logan suffered through the usual heart rate change and felt his arms go weak (he almost dropped his book). He was definitely not going to turn the light on now, he might be flustered too. And considering that Virgil had not turned the lights on when he himself had entered the kitchen he did not think Virgil would have a problem with Logan leaving them off.

He considered just turning around and going somewhere else, but Virgil had already seen him so he could not leave. He did not want Virgil to think he was trying to avoid him. Well, technically he was attempting o avoid him, but he was sure Virgil would be upset if he found out.

"Salutations, Virgil." Logan said and started to fix his coffee before, he too, sat down on a chair by the table. They were now sitting on opposite sides of the table. Virgil just waved a bit with his hand before taking another sip out of the cup he held in his other hand. Logan suspected it was hot cocoa because it did smell of chocolate in the room.

Logan suppressed a sigh and stared out of the kitchen window. It was crazy how he had to restrain himself from walking up to Virgil and wrap his arms around him. Every thing he felt around the anxious trait made no sense to him. What was the point of always craving contact from Virgil? What was the point of wanting to tell someone exactly how he felt?

He was Logic, his purpose was to be logical and make sure that Thomas actually thought before doing things.

And despite, Logan was never going to tell Virgil of his weakness for him. He could not think of one reason why that would be a good idea. No, he was never going to let anyone know that he was capable of falling in love.

"So why are you up at 12 am Logan, aren't you always telling us how important it is to get at least 8 hours of sleep?" Virgil asked, pulling Logan out of his thoughts. Logan pondered for a moment, wondering what he could say that would not really tell Virgil anything.

"I cannot sleep and I would rather not disclose why." He at last said, hoping that Virgil would not proceed to ask him why sleep was evading him. Luckily Virgil just nodded, respecting that Logan did not want to talk. Virgil looked like he fell into deep thought about something, staring down at his cup of hot cocoa.

"What about you? Why are you not sleeping, did we not agree on that you need to get enough sleep as to not feel overly anxious?" He wondered. If Virgil didn't get enough sleep then he would more easily slip into attacks. That would be troublesome for Thomas, but he could not deny that the person he was worrying the most about was Virgil.

Which also was stupid and illogical. What was his emotions doing to him? His top priority should always be Thomas' wellbeing. Now suddenly it was Virgil.

"I just... I'm feeling feelings." Virgil sneered, sounding like he was really angry about it. Logan's lips curled into a smile, he felt the same way about his own feelings.

"Then we have the same problem." He said, without thinking, letting out a small laugh that did not sound joyous at all. He froze when realizing what he had said, stopping abruptly in the middle of stirring his coffee with a teaspoon. Virgil raised an eyebrow, studying Logan.

"Oh? I doubt it." He then said, shooting Logan a quick smirk before standing up, cup in hand. "Good night." He called over his shoulder and disappeared out through the door to the hallway, not giving Logan a chance to even respond to what he had said. That was probably for the best though, Logan might've said something else that, also, was dumb.

Logan, now alone at the table, just rested his head in his hand. He had his book opened in front of him, but all he could think off was Virgil's little smirk before leaving.

"This is torture." He grumbled to no one in particular, just wishing that this stupid mess of feelings would be resolved soon and that he would be back to normal.

He took his things and wandered out to the living room, plopping down on the couch with a tired groan. He was still set on reading a few chapters before going to bed. And he couldn't read in his room, the logical aura in there just kept making his mind trying to find a logical explanation to why he had developed these feelings for Virgil, and he did not have the energy to put up with that.

It was almost unbearable, feeling these feelings. They were stronger than what he was used to feelings being and he hated it when he was confused, which was how he constantly felt nowadays.

When he realized he had just spend five more minutes thinking of Virgil's smirk towards him he softly banged his head against his book and groaned. This is torturous, how long is he going to have to stand this? He had read somewhere that a crush lasted for up to 4 months, if it lasted for longer than that you were considered in love.

Now, Logan could not really say how long he had been feeling this way for Virgil. He had held these feelings for a long while before actually realizing that his way of thinking of Virgil was different from how he thought of Patton or Roman. But it ought to be more than four months now.

Fuck.

There was no way of telling how long it would take for him to fall out of love. He might not even ever do that. He could not imagine how he would survive it if he kept pining after Virgil for the rest of his life.

He leaned back into the soft sofa cushions with a dejected sigh, letting himself once again run over the possible responses from Virgil if he actually did tell him about how he felt. There were endless possibilities for how Virgil might react and few of the ones he thought of were good. Because how could Virgil possibly love someone like him? All he is is logic, and according to what the others knows of him he was not even able to feel feelings like these.

When he accidentally drifted off to sleep around 2am in the morning he had not expected to abruptly wake up again at 5am. The heated feeling in his gut told him exactly what kind of dream he had had, and despite not remembering it he could easily imagine what it had been about. That dragged another frustrated groan out of him, taking a cold shower at 5am is not how he wanted to start his morning.

Feeling extremely irritated he stood up and slowly made his way to the bathroom. He hated having to shower in cold water, he did not even like bathing in the ocean because of how cold it always was.

He was still grumbling angrily when walking back into the kitchen, drying his hair on a pink towel (he was not sure who's it was, but it was the one within reach as he had finished his shower) and opened the fridge. He poured up a glass of orange and mango juice and microwaved a bowl of oatmeal. He then set a jar of crofters down on the table and, with a spoon, dumped a fourth of its contents on his oatmeal.

The neat thing with eating breakfast early in the morning was that none of the other sides would judge him for what he ate. And Patton would not scold him for reading at the table. That were some of the reasons to why he enjoyed early mornings. Of course it was not often that he was up this early.

It was comforting to know that he had a few hours of peace and quiet before the others woke up, but he was well aware of that that time spent alone would most likely be him annoyed over his thoughts always drifting to thinking of Virgil instead of thinking of something useful.

But he spent the morning reading, doing his best to stay concentrated. He had the time to read eight chapters before he could hear the silent steps from one of the other sides. He glanced at his clock which read 9:23am. Since it was a weekend he doubted it was Virgil, he usually slept in. So did Roman. He suspected Patton, but on the steps it did not really sound like it was the fatherly trait.

To his immediate disappointment he saw that it was Deceit who had appeared in the door frame. He turned back to his book, Logan was not at all interested in talking to the deceiving trait. But it seemed that Deceit himself disagreed.

"I have to applaud you, you are doing such a good job keeping your feelings a secret." Deceit said and clapped slowly, a mean grin appearing on his face when he saw that Logan realized what he had said.

He pretended that he had not heard him and propped his book up against the carton of juice, continuing to read. At least he hoped that it looked like he was reading, in reality he couldn't even see the words on the page. How in the worlds name did Deceit find out about how he felt? He had never even wrote down how he felt on a piece of paper in fear that someone would find it and read it.

"Virgil definitely feels the same way about you." Deceit laughed when seeing how Logan tried to not let his words phase him. He stared at the book in front of him, squeezing it with his hands to get them to quit shaking. Why was he even affected by what Deceit was saying, he already knew all of this? Maybe his feelings had been repressed for too long? He did not know. As usually, he was clueless.

He knew very well that Virgil held no romantic feelings for him. He knew very well that Deceit only did this to try and cause harm to him. And yet what Deceit was saying actually hurt him. Fantastic, more to add to his list of things that made no sense.

"Goodbye Deceit." He said, trying to sound calm, and stood up, walking out of the room, still squeezing the book tightly. He needed to get out of there. If he stayed he might actually break down and let Deceit see how much of a toll his words were taking on him.

"He will definite fall in love with you, and love you just as much as you love him." Deceit hissed out, seemingly mad over the fact that Logan dared to just walk away from him while he was speaking.

It wasn't until he ran straight into someone and fell to the floor that he realized how bad he was shaking. God, it was pathetic that he, the embodiment of logic, would be affected so much by something Deceit told him.

"Hey, Lo, are you alright?" It was Virgil, of course he ran right into Virgil. Why was Virgil even awake so early? His day so far was certainly not ideal in any way. Tearing his gaze away from Virgil's lips (where his eyes had got stuck for a moment) he looked Virgil right in his eyes, trying to collect himself enough to answer his question.

"I am good. Just had a little conversation with Deceit." He mumbled, fairly sure that he was nowhere near good since he was lying on the floor in the hallway, trembling, and with Virgil kneeling next to him. He sat up, shying away when Virgil reached out a hand towards him.

"Whatever he told you it was a lie." Virgil said, probably trying to be reassuring. Logan found it incredibly sweet that Virgil was trying to make him feel better, but there wasn't really anything he could do. Logan only laughed, once again with no real joy.

"I doubt it." He then said, completely honestly.

"Oh really? Then what did he tell you? I'll prove that he was lying." Virgil insisted and Logan felt his heart jump at the thought of repeating what Deceit had told him. At the moment there was a 0% chance that Logan would ever gather up the courage to as much as whisper how he felt for Virgil into an empty room.

"I do not want to speak about it." He said and tried his best to sound normal and not seem as shaken as he was. At least he wasn't trembling anymore, which he supposed was good.

"I'll find out anyways because I am going to punch Deceit in the face for upsetting you." Virgil said with a small smile, but Logan only felt a wave of horror wash through him. Deceit would gladly tell Virgil about how Logan felt just to fuck things up.

"Please do not." He begged. He had no problem with Virgil punching the dark trait in the face, but the last thing he wanted was for Virgil to find out about his feelings through Deceit.

Logan prepared to stand up and pretended that he did not see the hand Virgil had reached out towards him. He did not trust himself to be able to let go if Virgil would take his hand. He stood up, hugging his book to his chest and looking down at the floor.

"But he has obviously upset you, why do you not want me to try and make you feel better?" Virgil pleaded, he sounded frustrated and Logan wished that Virgil had not ran into him this morning. He did not want to upset him, but it seemed that he was doing that anyways.

"Because you can't." There was only one thing Virgil could say to him that would make him feel better, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He did not need Deceit to tell him Virgil would never love him. That he had known since the first time he realized his romantic feelings towards the side standing in front of him.

"Fine," Virgil said, hurt clear in his voice, "I'll leave you alone."

And with that he continued towards the kitchen, leaving Logan somehow feeling even worse than he had before he had gotten knocked to the floor. He stared after Virgil for a moment, thinking of running after him to apologize for being dumb. But instead of doing that he retreated to his room.

Of course he could not escape his problems so easily, Deceit stood by his bedroom door, waiting for him. Logan just walked right up to his door, doing his best to pretend that there wasn't even someone standing there.

"Oh, you are just handling this wonderfully. He'll definitely love you now." Deceit laughed, he actually laughed, as if this whole situation was bringing him immense joy. That did not even make Logan feel sadder, it just made him feel angry. It did not matter that Deceit was right, he still did not have the right to stand here and tell Logan all this just to hurt him.

"I have never said that I think that he will ever love me." Logan said, a bit proud over being able to say that without his voice failing him, but the sentence still left a bad taste in his mouth. He opened the door, walked inside and shut it in Deceit's face before he had the chance to say something else.

It is 9:47am, he's been awake for almost 5 hours and today is already, to phrase it lightly, shit. He practically threw his book at the foot of his bed and then faceplanted into the mattress. He wished he could just get away with sleeping through the whole day, but Patton would not allow that. And despite, it was extremely unproductive.

Instead he got to work, finishing their filming schedule for Thomas' next few videos. They needed a schedule to stay motivated, nothing good would come from becoming stressed. At least his work occupied him and kept him from thinking about Virgil. Well, almost.

At around 1pm there was a knock on the door by, presumably, Patton, because even the knock sounded cheerful. He was right, Patton poked his head inside his room, looking around until he saw Logan who by now was lying on his stomach on his bed with his laptop in front of him. It was a very uncomfortable position for his back, but he just did not have the energy to move.

"Hey kiddo, I've made lunch."

"I'm not very hungry Patton." He said, trying to excuse himself from having to eat with the others. Patton stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, obviously not letting Logan skip lunch so easily.

"Virgil told me that Deceit was mean to you, is that why you don't want to eat with us?" Patton said with a pout, looking sad. Logan shut his laptop and rolled over on his back. He almost did not dare to look at Patton, the dad-like trait was so good with emotions and feelings that Logan was scared that he would be able to tell everything that Logan was feeling when looking at him. That too was stupid, he knew that.

"You need to eat lunch, you know that Logan." The still pouting trait said, walking right up to his bed and dragging Logan up from it so that they stood face to face. Logan sighed, ready to give in. It is after all important to eat so that he could stay productive and have the energy to do his work.

And even if he would like to hide in his room until he stopped having these horrid feelings for Virgil, he knew he couldn't. He still did not want Virgil to feel as if he was avoiding him. If Virgil thought he was being avoided by Logan he would either start asking why or he would start avoiding Logan too.

He did not want any of those things to happen, even if he could not have what he really wanted he still felt like he needed Virgil's company. Losing Virgil's friendship completely he could not stand. He'd rather suffer and continue pining after Virgil as long as they were still friends.

"Kiddo, what did Deceit tell you? I have not seen you look this dejected before, Virgil said you wouldn't talk about what Deceit said." He looked worried and Logan could not really blame him. He was acting unlike his usual self lately while trying to deal with his feelings towards Virgil.

"Come on Logan, we do not want you to feel like this. You can always talk to us." Patton practically begged, hating to see Logan look so down. Logan just squirmed a little, trying to avoid Patton's sad eyes.

"But it is stupid. What he said I already know to be true, it should not even upset me." Logan mumbled, already knowing what Patton's response would be.

"Now Logan, you know very well that your feelings are valid, no matter how 'illogical' you may think they are. And sometimes words can be harsher when coming from someone else. Now tell me what Deceit said so that I can comfort you. I will not give up before you are happy." He rambled and Logan almost smiled. It would feel so good to tell someone, to not have to carry his overwhelming feelings alone anymore.

But as much as he does want to tell someone at the moment, he is terrified of uttering the words. He almost decides to do it, he goes as far as opening his mouth but no words come out. He just stands there, in front of Patton, opening and closing his mouth without uttering a sound.

Instead of actually speaking he, to his horror, lets out a sob and his vision blurs. He turns away from Patton and tries to rub away the wetness that is escaping from his tear ducts as if Patton had not already seen that he broke down.

"Oh. Oh no, Logan." Patton's voice is full of distress and Logan kind of hates it, he doesn't want Patton to feel sad for him. Patton places a hand on Logan's shoulder and turns him back around, pulling him into a tight hug.

"It's alright." Patton mumbles, but Logan is very well aware of that it is not alright. He is not alright.

It is strangely comforting to be hugged by Patton, he really is good at these kinds of things. Logan tries to imagine if he was emotionally stable enough to actually talk about his feelings. He can only wish that he one day will have gotten rid of these feelings. He presses the palms of his hands to his eyes, willing the tears to stop.

"I'm so sorry, I do not know what is wrong with me." He mumbles and accepts a paper towel that Patton hands him. He doesn't know where he got it from, he must've summoned it. He dries his eyes and sniffled, trying to calm down.

"There is nothing wrong with you, kiddo, and you have nothing to apologize for." Patton replies and Logan takes a step back from him to get some space.

"If you can't tell me what you are so distressed about, could you let me guess and you just nod or shake your head?" Patton then asks, apparently still determined to do his best to help Logan. He bows his head in a short, uncertain nod. Logan is not sure if this is a good idea at all, but in this moment of weakness he feels too overwhelmed to carry it all alone.

"Is it about your feelings?" Patton immediately guesses. Logan presumes that it is not very hard to understand that something that would affect him this much must be something that goes against logic. Feelings certainly goes against logic, at least in his book. He hesitantly nods, confirming what Patton said to be true.

"Are you feeling lonely or touch starved?" He shakes his head.

"Insecure? About your work or yourself?" Logan shakes his head yet again. His problem is not his insecurities, it's that his feelings are unanswered. And he doesn't even know how to handle the feelings in the first place, how would he even go about handling something as complicated as love?

"Okay... is it feelings about something? Someone? Hate? Annoyance? Jealousy? Love?" Logan cuts Patton's rambling off by quickly nodding at the last one.

"Romantic love?" Logan does not nod this time, but neither does he shake his head to dismiss what Patton had said, and he supposed that his stillness was just as telling as his nodding. Patton is silent for a moment before speaking up again, he seemed to be carefully thinking over what to say.

"I understand that that can be hard for you to accept since you are logic," Patton says, and Logan almost cries again, because Patton actually understands and he does not dismiss him as just being silly, "just remember that you are not doing anything wrong by loving someone. And you can always come to me when you don't know how to handle all of what you are feeling. I know how to deal with that."

Patton smiles and squeezes his shoulder reassuringly.

"Lately it has. Been hard to deal with that is. It's driving me insane and I do not know what to do with myself. I always want to be near him but at the same time it is unbearable because I know he does not feel the same way about me." He burrows his head in his hands for a moment, swallowing down the frustrated groan that is trying to escape him.

"Is it Virgil you've fallen for?" He then asks and Logan's eyes widen and he stares at him. Fuck, Patton can see right through him. He had not even mentioned Virgil's name, yet the other side immediately understood who Logan's feelings were aimed at. He pushed away the panicked thought that maybe everyone saw right through him. But then again, how could Deceit know of his feelings towards the anxious side? Maybe he was worse at hiding how he felt than he thought. But once again he just nods.

"Oh that's so cute!" Patton exclaims and giggles. Logan immediately glares at him, that is not at all how he would summarize his feelings. He usually goes with 'illogical inconvenience'.

"It's not cute! It's stupid and he will never feel the same way." He steps further away from Patton and sits down on his messy bed again, falling back on it and curling up into a ball. "Go and eat your lunch before it gets cold."

"Yeah, Logan, I'm still not leaving without you." He says and Logan groans and mumbles out a 'fine', following Patton out of his room. Roman and Virgil had both waited for them to join them before eating. It was not a very fun meal, it was too quiet.

Logan realized that, during the time span of one day, two of his fellow sides had found out about his feelings for Virgil. If he had any say in the matter he would have kept it a secret from all of them. He did not want them to know, not even one of them.

If Roman or Virgil saw the redness in his eyes or noticed that Logan did not speak during the whole meal, none of them commented about it, which Logan appreciated. He had of course not expected Virgil to corner him afterwards. But that is just what he did, just like Deceit had earlier that day Virgil was waiting outside of his room.

So, his plans to sneak back into his room and continue to work for the rest of the day until Patton inevitably forced him to join them for dinner were destroyed. But he could not really bring himself to mind, this must mean that Virgil at least cares a little about him.

But wasn't he terrified of Virgil figuring it out too, you may ask? Of course. He can no longer trust himself to keep it a secret since everyone seemed to see right through him. Before he had thought he was doing a good job of keeping what he was feeling to himself, all events of today spoke against that.

"Hello Virgil." Logan greeted him, hoping that he would not once again ask something that Logan could not answer. He highly dislikes having to lie, but there is quite a large possibility that he will not be able to give the right answer to what Virgil wants to talk about. But he will do his best not to tell any lies.

"Logan, are you alright?" Ah, well, fuck. So long lasted not lying.

"I am perfectly alright." He said. Now that is an obvious lie and as soon as the words leave his mouth he can see that Virgil understands that it is not the truth. He avoids his gaze, wishing that Virgil will let it go and not ask him to disclose too much.

He kind of wished Virgil would hug him. But after all the events today he isn't sure he could actually take being that close to Virgil without bursting into flames or just clinging to him like a koala to a palm tree. Not finding any of those alternatives good in this moment he turns away to open his door. But Virgil grabs his arm.

"Logan, I care too much about you to let you walk away. Why will you not let me be there for you. Are we not friends?" Virgil asks, looking at Logan like he is scared of the answer but yet determined to hear it. Logan wants to tell him that of course they are friends. He wants to explain to Virgil that he shouldn't blame himself over how horrid Logan is at dealing with his emotions.

"I apologize Virgil, I am in no way implying that we are not friends. I care deeply for you." More than that he doesn't dare to say. Even if it is terrifying to speak of, he cannot forget that feeling of relief he had been overwhelmed by when Patton had managed to find out about his feelings.

Even he could not carry things alone for too long, even if he always told himself he could. Today was clear evidence of that. Yesterday he had been quite alright (or at least alright enough), but all it took for his whole facade to tumble down was a few sentences from Deceit. That, if anything, made him aware of the fact that this was wearing him out more than he was aware of.

"Then why can you not talk to me, it is obvious that Patton got you to speak." Virgil says and he looks down at his hands that are mostly covered by his hoodie sleeves. Logan felt a pang in his heart, he didn't want Virgil to feel as if they weren't good friends. He didn't want Virgil to feel as if he didn't trust him.

And most of all, Logan did not want Virgil to distance himself from him, but now it seemed that whatever he did it just drove Virgil away from him. Thinking that he could keep pretending like everything is normal until his feelings goes away was clearly just a pathetic wish.

If he told Virgil how he felt then Virgil would become uncomfortable around him since he did not hold these romantic feelings for Logan and would feel anxious over being around someone who was in love with him. But if he did not tell him then Virgil would continue to feel as if Logan did not trust him, which would in the end also drive them away from each other. And that he did not want either.

"Virgil, I..." What the hell was he supposed to say? Why had he even begun speaking, now Virgil looked at him in anticipation to see what he had to say. Logan did not want to disappoint him, but how could he possible even begin to explain that he had fallen in love with him?

He heard a chuckle behind him and froze, not wanting to turn around and see who was standing behind him. He already knew who it was of course, that laugh could only belong to one person, and the expression of rage on Virgil's face as he looked on the person behind him further confirmed that Deceit had once again sought up Logan to try to break him again.

"What do we have here?" His voice was filled with controlled joy, and something else. He sounded exactly like you'd imagine that someone would sound while plotting to bring you to the point of a mental breakdown.

"Deceit, leave me alone." He said loudly without even turning to face him. He has had enough of Deceit for one day. Logan is also terrified of what Deceit is going to say. Patton knowing of his feelings is not a catastrophe, he would never tell anyone if Logan told him not to. But Deceit... he would gladly tell every single person who would listen.

"Fuck off you snake, no one wants you here." Virgil said, practically seething with anger. Logan felt relived that Virgil did not ask about what Deceit had told him before but scared since angering Deceit could not make anything better.

He could hear Deceit step closer to him, then he felt an arm on his shoulder and Deceit's voice right in his ear as he laughed at them. "How adorable, Logan, did you hear that? Maybe he even cares about you."

"What? Logan, of course I care about you! What has he been saying? Is this what he was telling you this morn-" Virgil began, almost making Logan smile. But Deceit cut him of by tutting and shaking his head. He let go of Logan's shoulder and stepped in between the two of them, turning to Virgil.

"Aww, Virge, Logan here totally has only platonic feelings for you." Deceit said while smiling. He was probably trying to look innocent, but it was not working at all. He just looked like he was having fun.

"What do you mean." Virgil said, sounding genuinely surprised. He turned to Logan, who was just staring at Deceit in utter disbelief. He had worked so hard on keeping his feelings to himself, yet Deceit had managed to destroy all of that in less than a day. "Logan, what is he talking about?"

"Me? I am just talking about Logan's crush on you that he totally have not been hiding for months." Logan had no idea what to do. With the dawning realization of his secret being out, a big amount of fear followed.

What was he even supposed to do right now? He didn't think he'd be able to speak even if he tried. He was completely tongue tied, he could not for the life of him even articulate how he was feeling. But if Deceit continued like this he would not have to. Logan had to make him shut up.

So Logan did something that surprised even himself, he turned Deceit around and punched him right in his face. He has never punched anyone before, it hurt his hand more than he had expected. But it is understandable, punching someone isn't much different from slamming your fist into a wall.

He looked down at Deceit who had fallen over and was lying on the floor. Then he looked up at Virgil, sudden fear overwhelming him. He had just punched Deceit. And before that Deceit had revealed to Virgil how Logan felt for him. By now it was almost comical how much could go wrong over the course of one day.

And then he turned around and quickly walked away, which was probably not the most logical thing to do, but it was easier than to stay there and face Virgil. Not knowing where he could hide and actually be left alone he barges into Roman's room. Roman is currently lying on the floor with a comic book held above him while eating chips. He jumps up when he hears his door being closed.

"Logan, can I help you with anything?" He sounded slightly offended and Logan guessed that he disliked it when someone came into his room unannounced. Logan only felt satisfaction at the thought since Roman always barged into his room without as much as knocking when he needed help.

"Can you open the imagination?" He asked, Roman just shrugged and clicked with his fingers. A door appeared, it was made out if gold and looked as fancy as it was possible for a door to be. It did not surprise Logan at all since Roman was able to decorate the door however he wanted.

"Just think of wherever you want to go and hopefully you'll end up there." Roman explained, pointing to the door before lying back down on the floor. Logan could hear him reach into the bag of chips as he walked up to the door.

He stopped in front of the door, closed his eyes and tried to focus on somewhere he would want to go. He does not really want to be anywhere at the moment, but he opens the door and walks right through it, the only thought in his mind being that he wants to end up somewhere where he will be alone.

Stepping over the threshold he opens his eyes with a gasp when he realized that his feet stepped into nothing. A second later he landed hard on the ground with a pained grunt and glared angrily up on the door that had opened two meters above the ground. It would've been nice if Roman could've mentioned that you had to specify where the door would appear.

As he laid there on the ground, still glaring up at the door and wondering how he was getting back up there, it closed and faded away. Thinking that that was a problem for later, he sat up. He was relieved to realize that no bones in his body had broken, even if he was sure that he would discover a lot of bruises later tonight.

He looked around, wondering where he had ended up. He was sitting on the top of a hill, as far as he could see it was grass covered grounds reaching towards the horizon. Turning his head around he could see a big, seemingly never ending, forest. The blue sky above his head quickly darkened, turning from cerulean into a dark navy blue.

Stars appeared in the sky as it became darker, building galaxies and Logan could even see other planets in the sky. He realized that the imagination was quite wonderful, he himself had not known where he wanted to end up, but somehow the door had shown him to the right place anyways. The sight took his breath away.

He dismissed that the dark had fell unnaturally quick and let out a slow breath as he looked up into space and finally, for the first time today, felt calm. This was more like it, now he felt like himself. He was calm, collected and professional. Not scared, worried and emotional. That was not him, but it was who his feelings turned him into.

He was incredibly glad that he was logic and not morality. Patton had to deal with all the emotions, Logan could probably not handle that. With a deep sigh he stood up, stretching his aching body. If he ever returned to the imagination he would surely look before stepping through the door so that he would not have to relive falling to the ground.

He wondered if the imagination could provide him with everything he asked for, like Rose's room in Steven Universe did. It had indeed brought him to somewhere where no one would bother him. He suspected that the only way for someone to find him was if they went through the door of the imagination while thinking of this exact place.

"Can I have a book on how to handle feelings?" He muttered to no one in particular, he was mostly complaining out loud. He heard a thud behind him and whirled around, thinking that maybe he was not here alone after all. But all he saw was a book on the ground.

He picked the book up carefully and read the title. How To Deal With Feelings. Okay, then that question is answered. The imagination will provide him with the things he require as long as he has the imagination to come up with it.

Taking the book with him he started to walk down the hill, there was no use just staying there. If the door had not vanished in thin air he might've stayed to not lose sight of it, but since it was now gone he guessed exploring this part of the imagination would not do any harm.

He decided to go towards the forest, the field that seemed to continue forever did not seem as appealing. He needed to take a walk, try to clear his head. He needed to figure out what to do about everything that had happened today and a walk was perfect for that.

He really did not have any idea about how to handle his emotions. Repressing his feelings for Virgil worked for a while, but what good did it do now? Virgil had found out what he had kept from him for months and now he needed to figure out how to deal with his feelings around Virgil while knowing they were unanswered.

He continued into the forest, just enjoying the silence. Logan kept walking for a quite long while, he had no idea what the time was back in the mindscape, but he guessed that it was around 2 pm. The time here did not work in the same way since it changed to what he preferred, and his ideal time of the day was nighttime, or at least, when the stars were out. And there was certainly a magnificent sky full of stars here.

He should come here more often, it was quite a nice place to run from his problems to. The quiet, deep forest, grassy hills and dark sky full of stars sure was calming. It was the ideal place for Logan if he wanted to be able to think without interruptions.

He had wished to be alone and the imagination had delivered, there wasn't even any birds to be seen. The only sounds to be heard was his own steps as he, not so quietly, walked through the woods.

He had an ability to manage to step on every dry branch and crunchy pile of leaves and white moss. At least he knew that it was he, and not some unknown animal in the forest, that made all the sounds that could be heard.

After a long while of walking, maybe a few hours, he found a glade, the trees growing further apart to create a grassy piece of land that was directly beneath the stars and surrounded by the dark trees. This seemed like the perfect place to take a break.

Despite not having walked for terribly long he was tired (which was proof that he needed to get out of his room more) and he decided to sit down, leaning his back against a particularly big tree.

He hesitantly opened the book, wishing that it will indeed contain some useful information. He probably needs all guidance he can get. Starting to read he realized that the book offered some valid points and good instructions.

It was extremely complicated to understand certain parts since he did not understand the reason behind many of these emotions. But surprisingly enough the book also pointed out logic behind emotional reactions and what they meant. If Logan would just understand the logic behind all of this, then maybe it would not be so hopelessly hard to understand these emotions that he was plagued with.

The book showed no answers to how he could get rid of certain feelings, which annoyed him greatly despite knowing that he could not get rid of feelings of this kind. Now when Virgil knew of his feelings it was even more crucial that he found a way to get rid of them, even if it was imposs-

There was a loud pop that interrupted Logan's thoughts and the door in and out of the imagination appeared again, this time also high up into the air. Logan froze, staring at the door with his heart beating harshly. Why had it showed up again?

He soon found out because with a high pitched screech Virgil fell to the ground, landing on his back. He loudly complained as he rolled over onto his stomach, his sentences mostly consisting of phrases along the lines of 'ouch' and 'fuck you Princey, you could've warned me'.

With a groan Virgil pushed himself up into a standing position and looked at the trees with a sigh. Then he turned around and immediately spotted Logan, who was still sitting with his back to a tree and holding a book. He wasn't reading any more though, at the moment he was staring at Virgil with a expression of shock. They just stared at each other in silence for a while, neither of them seemed to know what to say.

"How did you find me?" He eventually squeaked out, after finally regaining the ability to speak.

"Well Roman said to think of where I wanted to go and I thought 'I wanna go where Logan is' and I ended up here." Virgil said with a shrug and Logan cursed under his breath for not realizing someone might do that. Logan closed the book, not bothering to put a bookmark in, and laid it down on the ground next to him.

"Where'd you get the book?" Virgil then asked with a small grin, reading the title. Logan wasn't sure if he asked to make fun of him or if he was just trying to end the silence that had fell between them again. Picking the book back up he stood with a huff, refusing to look at Virgil.

Logan kept his gaze on the ground as if the leaves, moss, and spruce needles were incredibly interesting. In reality he had a thousand thoughts and questions in his head, trying to make sense of it all. Why had Virgil even come after him?

He turned away, not at all feeling ready to talk, and started to walk back into the forest. He could hear Virgil following him and he inwardly groaned. Logan definitely needed more time alone.

"Logan, you can't keep... running from me. Please." He begged, still following the logical trait.

"I do not feel like speaking to you, or anyone for that matter, at the moment. Please stop following me." Logan said, his voice devoid of any emotion to hide the fact that he was terrified of what Virgil wanted to speak to him about.

"But you are not even letting me talk." Virgil complained, and it was true, Logan had not given him a chance to say what he came here to talk about. That was definitely rude of him, he did not desire to be seen as rude.

"Okay, then speak." Logan muttered, not planning on slowing down, but being forced to do so when Virgil grabbed his shoulder. He was turned around and was now facing Virgil.

"Was what Deceit said true?" That was the first thing Virgil asked and Logan and he knew that there wasn't a chance that he could lie about it.

"Unfortunately... yes. I have developed feelings of the romantic kind towards you, and despite the fact that it has been months, they refuse to subside." Logan said with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest, still not really looking at Virgil.

"Good, that makes what I am about to tell you so much easier," Virgil said with a relieved exhale, "I have feelings for you too and, I too, have had them for a while."

Trying his best to control the immense joy and disbelief he felt at the fact that Virgil after all did like him Logan just stared at him for a moment, his mind doing its best to understand in and believe in what he just heard Virgil say.

The problem was just that he could not for the life of him understand why Virgil would ever like him. He was not especially brave or kind. He was awful with emotions and feelings. He was only good with logical thinking, and there was no logic in Virgil liking him that way.

"W-why? I'm nothing special, I am not very understanding or audacious. Neither am I kind or benevolent. And- and I am awful at feelings. I don't even know how to handle this situation-" He rambled, still trying to make sense of it all. Virgil just shook his head, ending Logan's constant stream of words.

"You're an idiot." Virgil mumbled with a big happy smile. Logan gave him a confused head tilt. From confessing their feelings straight to insulting? He was not really keeping up with what was going on. Then again, the fondness Virgil was expressing towards him at the moment implied that it was not said as an insult at all.

"Of course I have feelings for you. How could I not?" Virgil bit back his smile, trying to straighten out his facial expressions to a more serious one. It told Logan that Virgil had something to ask, and he watched as Virgil hesitantly raised his arms up, reaching out towards Logan who was still standing a step or two away from him.

"Is this okay?" Virgil asked and Logan had to admire his bravery. He was obviously not bold enough to dare to initiate a hug, not even now when he knew that Virgil liked him too. But, ignoring his constant stream of thoughts, he nodded with a faint blush appearing on his face.

To hide that he was getting flustered he walked right into Virgil's arms, feeling them wrap around him. This too was a very comforting hug, it made him feel less awkward. Logan let his arms loop around Virgil's waist, hugging him closer while Virgil hid his face against the crook of Logan's neck.

The puff of hot air that hit his skin every time Virgil exhaled made him shiver slightly. They're not sure how long they stood there, in the darkness between the trees, but neither of them wanted to let go of the other. It was calming to finally have the other so close after pining for them for so long.

To be honest, Logan had never expected to be able to hold Virgil in his arms, so he was definitely going to treasure this moment. The only sounds that could be heard were their breaths, and Logan is certain that he can also hear his own heartbeat.

It was dark where they stood, the sky slowly turning from navy blue to black, causing the stars to shine with a bigger contrast to the dark night sky. It was slightly chilly as it usually was during early summer nights, they were not cold in the least though, at the moment they were sharing body heat and everything was perfect.

Then Virgil carefully untangled himself from Logan, letting his tight grip around him ease so that they stood face to face. They still had their arms around each other, not wanting to end the physical contact, so they were standing really close together.

Virgil's hand found his and they entwined their fingers before stepping back, finally ending the embrace. They stood next to each other in a silence, not necessarily an uncomfortable one, just enjoying the moment. Logan had never before really seen the appeal in holding hands, but right now it was quite clear to him. Looking up into the crown of the trees he could see stars peeking through the leaves.

"Logan?" Virgil mumbled quietly, nervously shifting beside him. Logan hummed in acknowledgement and turned his face back towards Virgil with a smile.

"Be my boyfriend?" The words were uttered clearly in the quiet around them and Logan felt a surprised tingle run through him as if he had just jumped off somewhere high.

"Yes, of course I want to be your boyfriend." He said, it was probably the most honest answer he had ever given to a question. Virgil visibly relaxed as if there was even the slightest of possibilities that Logan would have ever said no to that. Virgil looked at him with such a soft expression that Logan worried over the likelihood of his heart stopping.

God he wanted to kiss him. But he also did not want to seem too forward, so he started to walk back towards where he had come from, gently pulling Virgil along with him. Getting out of the forest in the dark did turn out to be rather difficult since he after a little while realized that he wasn't sure which way he had come from.

"Virgil, do you happen to know how to get back to the mindscape?" Logan asked, giving his, now, boyfriend a slightly worried glance. It'd be good to get back to the others, he suspected that that Patton, and even Roman (even though he'd never admit it), were worried about them.

"That- uh... I do not," Virgil let out a nervous chuckle and peered into the woods around them as if he suspected that the doorway they had used to get there was stood behind a tree, "I guess you like, imagine it and it will pop up?"

Logan nodded, it seemed likely that that was how to make the doorway come back. After all that was how he had gotten the book so it made sense. The door once again materialized before Logan's eyes, Virgil must've summoned it. Luckily it was actually stood on the ground this time, they wouldn't have to somehow climb up to it.

"Now this door-thingy better bring us back to the mindscape or I will burn Roman's sashes." Was all Virgil said before the both of them stepped through the doorway and right into Roman's room. He wasn't there anymore. Logan checked his watch and observed that it was only 6pm which felt surreal after having been in a part of the imagination that had quickly turned from daytime to nighttime.

They found Roman and Patton in the kitchen, worrying over them while cooking dinner. Virgil cleared his throat and Patton gave out a happy squeak, bouncing over to them and hugging them tightly. It was when Patton stepped back (allowing them to breathe again) and stared at them that Logan realized that he and Virgil were still holding hands. Roman's smirk told him that the both of the others had noticed.

That insight did not make him let go of Virgil.

"What's for dinner?" He asked, hoping that they wouldn't start asking loads of questions about him and Virgil since that would only make them uncomfortable and Logan did not want Virgil to become anxious. Patton jut smiled knowingly at them and started to tell them about every ingredient he had added to the pasta sauce.

When dinner was ready he regretfully let go of Virgil's hand, after a moment of struggling he had realized that it was very hard to eat with only one hand. Dinner was nice but slow. Logan just wanted to spend some alone time with Virgil but he knew that it'd be a while. Since it was Friday they were going to watch a movie tonight and he knew from experience that no one could escape movienight. Not even when you were sick, you usually just brought a blanket and maybe a bucket. But if you weren't feeling well you were allowed to decide what movie was to be watched.

Virgil and Roman was in charge of making popcorn, and dip to the chips, while Logan helped Patton take care of cleaning up after their dinner. Logan started to load the dishwasher while Patton refrigerated the leftovers. Then Patton made sure that Virgil and Roman did not start throwing the popcorn at each other because they had started arguing over Disney (which they did quite a lot) and Logan would rather be eating the popcorn than vacuuming them off of the floor.

But within short they were all gathered on the couch and a movie, that Patton had found, was playing on the tv. It was surely going to be a happy movie with dogs in it. At least Logan hoped it would be a happy movie, if the movie was sad and about dogs then Patton and Roman would be so upset.

Honestly Logan didn't really know what the movie was about, he did not focus much on it, but Patton and Roman seemed cheerful so it was all well. He mostly focused on the fact that he was holding hands with Virgil again and that Virgil was also leaning his head on Logan's shoulder.

He sat completely still for the whole movie, not wanting Virgil to move even when it became a bit uncomfortable. This was such a nice change towards trying to not be too close to Virgil to not accidentally let his feelings show. He definitely preferred this. He begged that his hand wasn't sweaty, but thinking about it made it feels like it was and then he couldn't stop thinking about it, so that was annoying.

But it was over all amazing even if he was unable to concentrate on the movie. After the film they all went to bed. Patton did because he was tired, Roman said something about needing his beauty sleep. Logan does have a few things he should work on but he did not want to risk upsetting Virgil by overworking. Virgil most likely wanted to stay up on his phone for several more hours, but he too said he was going to go to bed. Maybe because he knew Logan would lecture him otherwise.

He helped Virgil up from the couch, not letting go of his hand even when Virgil is standing up. Virgil looked tired, and Logan suspected that he did too. A lot had happened during the day and the both of them certainly needed to rest. But the thought of leaving Virgil, even if it was only for a few hours, was unpleasant. Virgil was finally his boyfriend (he still couldn't really believe it, it sounded surreal) and after so long of just pining after him Logan did not want to waste time being away from Virgil.

Logan watched as the other two disappeared out of the room and glanced at Virgil who looked like he was feeling uncertain. Logan squeezed Virgil's hand in a, what he hoped was, reassuring way. Virgil then looked away to hide the small smile that he failed to force away.

"We should sleep." He said, because they should. He could easily see how tired Virgil was, even if he tried to hide it. But neither Logan nor Virgil moved, both of then thinking the same thing but not really having the courage to speak their thoughts out loud. Logan was, surprisingly enough, the first one to break the silence that had fell between them. It even surprised himself.

"You're more than welcome to stay in my room. If you want to." He said, trying to speak clearly so that Virgil would be able to hear him. Thankfully his voice did not betray him. Virgil blushed and looked down at the floor, nodding. Logan took that as a yes, his jittery feeling shifting into something more warm and nervous. (Get your mind out of the gutter)

Virgil hurried away to change into his pajamas, something that Logan guessed that Virgil was more comfortable doing in his own room. Logan took the moment he had alone to get into his own pajamas and read a couple of pages in a book he was currently re-reading for maybe the 6th time.

Virgil pushed the door to Logan's room up, quietly closing it behind himself and carefully pattering over to Logan's bed. Logan himself was sitting on his bed with the book in his lap, but he looked up and smiled when he heard Virgil come inside his room. The bed dipped as Virgil sat down on it, pulling his bare feet up from the floor. He was hugging a dark purple pillow to his chest and he looked about as nervous as Logan felt.

This would be the first time Logan ever shared a bed with another side, he had never had a reason to do so before. Logan placed his bookmark back into his book, putting it down on his bedside table. Logan smiled at Virgil again, causing a faint blush to appear on his cheeks again.

He clicked with his fingers and the light turned off, revealing what probably was hundreds of small glow-in-the-dark stars that Logan had stuck to his ceiling many years prior. He had never bothered to take them down, having grown fond of the fake stars that would always light up his ceiling when he turned off the lights. Now when Virgil looked up at them he did become hyper aware that they were for children and not professional adults, but Virgil just let out a little laugh and mouthed 'cute'.

Logan pulled the covers up and Virgil laid down as close to him that he could without actually touching him. Logan reached out and took Virgil's hand in his, he'd never get tired of being able to do such a simple, yet special, thing.

"I wish I had found out about your feelings for me sooner. You should've just told me earlier to spare me all the worrying." Virgil joked, nudging Logan lightly with a chuckle.

"You could've told me about your feelings." Logan defended himself playfully. After all, if Virgil had told him about how he was feeling then that would have saved Logan a lot of time. Instead he had spent the last few months doing his best to keep his feelings for Virgil to himself.

"Well, we're both idiots that are scared of our feelings." He said with a nod and a shrug, still smiling. Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes. It was not completely untrue though. Logan had a bad habit of becoming very overwhelmed when feeling new or uncommon feelings. Like romantic love.

"Did you ever imagine us getting together beneath the stars in the imagination?" Virgil asked quietly. Logan shook his head and opened his mouth and began to hesitantly speak. Going from never talking about his feelings to pretty much spend a whole day focusing on them was... scary to say the least. But also strangely relieving.

"I never allowed myself to even imagine it, I was sure you'd never return my feelings and imagining us would've been too painful. I did my best to pretend my feelings were not a hindrance." He murmured, leaning into the touch when Virgil caressed his cheek.

"What was it Deceit told you?" Virgil wondered once again, probably hoping that he'd get an actual answer now. This time though, this time he could tell Virgil without having something along the lines of a nervous breakdown. Now he knew that Deceit had been lying, before he had been convinced what he said was the truth.

"That you would never love me." He mumbled, inching closer to Virgil and pressing his face against his chest to not let Virgil see that he was flustered. He could hear Virgil's calm, rhythmic heartbeats.

"I told you I could prove him wrong." Was all that Virgil told him and Logan let out a quiet chuckle, daring himself to glance up at Virgil who was looking at Logan in a way that simply took Logan's breath away, and it took him a second to remember how to speak.

"Indeed you did." He lifted his head up to visibly smile at his boyfriend that proceeded to kiss him, right on his lips. It was soft and wonderful and sadly only lasted a few seconds before Virgil pulled back, cuddling close to him with a content little sigh and a smile still playing on his lips.

Logan was almost scared to fall asleep, worried that he would wake up and discover that it had all been a dream. To be completely honest this did seem to be too good to be true in many ways, but Logan and Virgil would continuously discover that sometimes things just worked out, especially if they faced them together.

--

Written: 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 26th, 28th & 29th May 2018
Published: 18th June 2018
Words: 11313

Honestly, ily guys so much. Your comments and your support means the world to me.

Thankfully I have enough mobile data left to publish this, but I'll probably run out soon😩 if I'm lucky the store we will shop at will have free wifi, but I don't think so.