Virgil is so out of character i weep

Prince au or whatever it's called

They're like,,,, 22-26 years old idk

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He'd gotten the news only a day ago, his parents briefly mentioning it during breakfast and refusing to discuss it further when Logan had protested.

The oh so simple words, that Logan really should have been prepared of hearing sometimes soon, had left him with a strangely numb feeling of nothingness that suffocated his thoughts as he had stared down at his breakfast that he'd previously been enjoying.

Logan had tried to comprehend the meaning and consequences of what they were saying, which took his slow brain far too long. He'd kept his calm composure and asked his parents why it was necessary for their arrangement to proceed.

Now, Logan of course understood why they had to unite their kingdoms for political reasons, he understood the reasoning completely. But he couldn't find it in himself to care in the slightest about that. The price was far too big for him to pay.

Logan thought that he'd been fine being married away to a princess if it wasn't for the fact that he already had someone close that he couldn't bear to lose. Engaging in a relationship with someone else when married, there were no kind punishment for that. Especially if it came out to the public that Logan’s lover was a man.

It was positively dreadful news that he'd have to be married not to his love, for no one could know who already had Logan's heart, but to a princess of another kingdom. Someone he had never even met. He thought he might have been able to live in such a relationship without it taking all the joy from his world, if it weren’t for the fact that his lover was the source of all Logan's joy.

It had been a day ago he'd been told that their marriage were to be held in a week. Logan couldn't help the countdown in his head that slowly but surely moved closer towards the day he dreaded the most. Logan wished he could just forget about it, spend the last few days of 'freedom' without the heavy weight on his chest and the void of feelings in his heart.

Logan wanted to immerse himself in his work and forget about everything, not spending time with any other living beings, but the world wasn't that kind. He still had to join his parents for meals, and a prince he was never really lonely.

Logan had tried to get on with his work during the whole day, but the void of feelings and the quiet in his mind would not let him concentrate, and neither would it let him rest as he tried to sleep when dark began to fall.

Not long after that Logan had pulled his clothes back on, a strong urge to get out of the castle steering his steps. Now he found himself sitting on a high cliff where he could see the capital city of his parents (and his future) kingdom stretching out before him.

A whole kingdom which he could not give what he should, a kingdom whose rules did not allow him to live happily. Logan did not know what to do. For the first time in his life he was completely without answers to a problem.

Still he could not find any easy or even a difficult solution. Whether he liked it or not he was going to be married away to someone neither he or his parents really knew. Logan was cursing himself for not expecting this. It was not strange at all that they had stepped in and found him a wife when he was already 26 years of age and had not found anyone for himself.

Except he had, but no one needed to know that. When he was younger he had feared exactly this happening, but his parents had never once mentioned anything about him marrying and he had ended up thinking that they weren't going to bring it up. He'd been stupid to think like that. He should've prepared for this, even if Logan didn't know how he could've possible prepared for this situation.

Logan heard rustling in the leaves of the bushes behind him, steps indicating that someone was walking up behind him. Logan didn't bother moving.

"Thought I would find you here when I could not find you in your chambers, my Prince." A voice said and Logan turned around despite already knowing who it was. He could recognize Virgil's voice, his steps, and the way he moved with ease by now.

Virgil was smiling at him so very softly and Logan did not think he was even aware of it. Strange as it might be it made Logan feel as if a great weight had been placed upon his chest, trying to slowly crush his heart. Logan turned back towards the city down below, hugging his knees to his chest and feeling his eyes burn.

The void of feelings that had been weighing him down all day had gone in an instant and Logan felt as if he couldn't breathe, every feeling that he had thought he should have felt during the day now attempting to drown him. He was slightly aware of Virgil sitting down next to him on the cold ground, mostly focusing on his own hand pressed against his lips to try and keep Virgil from noticing the warm tears that were now dripping from his eyes.

"My Prince, what is wrong?" Virgil immediately said with his voice laced with concern. Of course he couldn't hide anything from Virgil, just as Virgil could not hide anything from him.

"I told you I dislike it when you call me that." He said, his voice barely above a whisper and even harder to make out because of the hand he still had pressed over his mouth.

"My love, what's happened? I haven't ever seen you this distraught before." Virgil said quietly, and the warm feeling in his chest that the simple term of endearment caused made Logan feel as if an assassinator had finally succeeded and a sharp blade had been shoved into his heart.

Logan's eyes filled with tears once again and he buried his face in his hands, he didn't want Virgil to see his pain because he would only want to share it, and Logan did not wish any pain upon Virgil. Logan felt his lovers arms around him and didn't try and stop himself from being pulled into a tight hug.

"I cannot bear to lose you." He choked out, feeling Virgil's hands trace patterns on his back through his shirt, slow, calming.

"Logan… you won't lose me. Why would you think I would ever willingly leave you?" Virgil said, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Logan shook his head.

"But I will. Soon I won't be able to see you anymore without risking your life. My parents have arranged a marriage. In five days a princess from a neighbouring kingdom will be sent here and the day after that we are to be married." Logan explained, neither sounding or looking very much like royalty as he barely got his words out properly and was crying into the shirt of his lover while they were sat together on a moss-covered cliff.

Virgil didn't say anything but Logan could hear his breathing as surely a million thoughts were rushing through his mind and he could feel Virgil's arms tightening around him.

"No. I won't let anyone take you from me, Logan. I won't. They'll have to kill me before I leave your side." He said, slightly desperately. Maybe Logan would've smiled at that if it wasn't for the fact that Virgil actually would be killed for it.

"It is one thing to in secret have a relationship while neither of us are married, but you know the laws. If anyone were to find out that I was seeing you once I have a wife then there is a good chance that the high council will have you killed." Logan said with an impressively steady voice considering the words he uttered.

"I could never, never, live knowing my love for you ended your life." Logan whispered, new tears now running down his cheeks as he looked up at Virgil. "I could not live without you."

"I wish the laws were different. There is so much against us, we cannot marry because the both of us are men, and we cannot marry because I am a prince and marrying a member of the castles kitchen staff will not benefit the kingdom in any way." Logan rambled, hand clutching to the fabric of Virgil's shirt as he spoke.

"Have you ever considered ...leaving?" Virgil murmured, lips right by Logan's ear, causing him to hear him clearly despite of how low he was speaking. Logan's breath caught in his throat and he pushed himself back a bit from Virgil, meeting his eyes.

"Leaving? I can't just leave, can I?" He said, distraught. How could Vigil suggest such a thing? Logan was the oldest of the two princes, he had a duty to the kingdom.

"Why not?" Virgil said, and Logan was fully ready to argue back, mouth open and voice ready with that slightly annoyed voice that he used when pointing out the obvious, when realizing his mind was blank.

Indeed, why not? Why could he just not stand up and turn his back on the kingdom? There was nothing actually stopping him, was there? Logan shook his head and forced those thoughts away. Running away could not be anything else than out of the question.

"Because… because I can't just- I can't turn my back against a whole kingdom which relies on me to rule it when my parents pass." Logan said. Just because he could not come up with any good enough reason to stay didn't mean it was right of him to leave.

"Why should you not turn your back on a society that turned theirs to you. Logan, do you honestly think a life steered completely by your parents wills and expectations will allow you to live happily?" Virgil said, eyes darkening as he spoke. Logan did not say a thing, instead running through every likely scenario of what would happen if he was to disappear.

Everyone would surely be looking for him, maybe they would even notice that one of the men from the kitchen had gone too. If they were unlucky they'd suspect the two of them had left together. If they never found him then Logan's brother, Roman, would one day be given to crown.

Maybe this was not such a horrible idea, the world would not end just because Logan would do what it took to live a life that he actually wanted.

"Wipe your tears and run away with me, allow me to start my life all over again with you by my side, my love." He said, voice now oh so soft and his eyes looking at Logan as if he was the whole world. Logan allowed Virgil to dry his cheeks with the soft material of his shirt and press a kiss to his forehead.

"Where… where would we go? Is there anywhere we and people like us can be happy and not fear what others would do if they found out who we loved?" Logan asked. He knew the laws, even if they were much outdated no one had attempted to make a change. Well, Logan had heard of protests made in the city, protests about how people like him could not marry the ones they loved.

But those protests had not changed a thing because of how the old lords did not want to change their old rules.

"I've heard of a town, it is far away near where the kingdom ends and the people who live there are all like us. I was told of it when at the protest." Virgil said.

"You were at the protest?" Logan hadn't known that. Virgil had just mentioned it existed, Logan hadn't considered Virgil being part of it.

"Of course. I want to marry you one day, I will do anything for the opportunity to do so." Virgil said. Logan smiled at him, the first time today that he'd felt any sort of happy feeling.

"Marrying you is beyond my dreams.” Logan said, sniffling slightly and then letting out a small laugh as he realized how unattractive he must be at the moment, all teary and exhausted. For some reason Virgil didn't seem to notice, or maybe he didn't care. All he did was softly kissing Logan and mumbling that one day it would be their reality, he would make sure of that.

"All I wish is for you to be happy. I know you, and staying here and marrying some princess, a marriage in which neither of you have a say, I know that will not make you happy. Of course my wants for you to leave with me are selfish too, I do not know what I would do without you."

"We will decide on a time and a place and there we will meet with all the belongings we think we need and we will leave. We'll be free to go wherever we want and we will be free to love one another. That's to say, if you'll go?" Virgil continued, and how could Logan possibly say no to the best opportunity they had for living the life they wanted.

"I love you, Virgil. Yes, I will leave with you, and we will find somewhere where we are allowed to be together without having to hide away from the eyes of every other living being. I want to live with you, not hide." Logan said, and if he had had any doubts if he'd made the right decision they immediately disappeared as he saw the bright smile on Virgil's face that made Logan feel as if everything might actually be okay.

One day.

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Written: 3rd, 4th June 2019
Published: 7th July 2019
Words: 2401

I love the term lover, it’s just good. and not necessarily sexual

Also how am I still shook every time someone tells me they think I'm a talented writer? Every time I'm like 'you what'