Chapter 52: Awkward and Unwanted

*1 week later*

*Still Peter's POV*

I release a deep breath, looking up at the Tower. Okay, Parker, you go this. They're your friends, nothing to worry about. I shake out my hands and crack my neck before walking into the building. I hold onto the duffle bag strap on my shoulder as I walk up to the front desk.

"Mr. Parker!" The young women says enthusiastically.

"Hi Jenny."

"Here to see Mr. Stark again? Another invention of yours in that bag?"

"Yup, hoping he can help me with a little something for school." Really, it's just my suit and some more clothes. God I hate lying.

"Got your pass?" The perky receptionist asks. I present it to her and she buzzes me in. I walk past the security guards, giving them a wave. "Bye Peter!" Jenny shouts after me. I wave at her too before entering the elevator.

I bounce on the balls of my feet, blowing out another breath. All too soon, the doors pull open to the 83rd floor. I don't see anyone right away, but as soon as I step out of the elevator, I'm swept into a bone crushing hug.

"Spider Man!"

"Hey, Thor," I say, strenuously, "nice to see you too, buddy." I pat his arm before he drops me back to the floor.

"We must alert the others, they'll be so happy you're back!" Thor says clamping a hand on my shoulder.

"Um, yeah, sounds good." I say moving to the couches and dropping my things there. "Have you seen Clint?" I ask.

"Peter? You're back." I turn to see just who I was looking for exiting the elevator. "Thor, why don't you go get the others?" Clint suggests walking towards me. Thor nods before entering the elevator. I stay by the couches, looking at my hands. "Well I suggest you hurry up and ask before everyone else gets here." Clint breaks the silence.

I look up at him, furrowing my brows. "Ask what?"

"If I told them," He says nonchalantly.

"Did you?" I rush.

"Nope."

I look at him quizzically. "Why?"

"It's your business Peter. You've got plenty of explaining to do, plus you'll tell us eventually."

I breath a sigh of relief, "Thanks man."

"That doesn't mean we won't talk about it later." Clint says, pointing a finger at me. I nod, ringing my hands together. This is going to be so embarrassing, not to mention i have to talk about Wade with Clint. Out of all the awkward situations I've found myself in, that was the worse.

*Flashback to the other night*

"Heeeeyyy Clint..."

He takes a sip from the straw in his cup. Wade takes a step back, keeping his head down and out of the light. Clint smacks his lips, "So, what's up? Who's your friend here?"

"Uh, well, he's just, it's not, I mean we-"

"Breathe." Wade interrupts my rushed stuttering. I inhale a breath, closing my mouth. "He ther Katniss, how's it hanging?" Wade says breaking the silence. From what he's told me, Wade and Clint have had a few run in's. Wade slings his arm around Clint's shoulders.

"Jade's already beaten you to that one, Wilson."

"Alright Legolas, sounds like I've got to meet this girl."

"Stark got that one just over a year ago."

"Oh! I know, Brave!"

"All the time man."

"The fox version of Robin Hood!"

"Sure." I stand back, watching two of my friends act as if I wasn't even there and that what just happened, didn't.

"What's say you, me and the Web Slinger go grab something to eat?" Wade asks facing me again. I know my face is beet red, but I just stare at the two in front of me, still unable to find my words.

Wade pulls me towards him as Clint says, "Sure, sounds great." I watch as Clint tosses his cup into a trash can and comes into stride with Wade and I. Once the three of us, or really two of them, decide on a place, I take a seat at a booth, not really having an appetite anymore. "Sooooo..." Clint says, sliding into the booth across from Wade and I. "How long has this been going on?" He asks, taking a bite out of a burrito.

Wade looks at me before speaking. "This," he gestures between us, "isn't really a things."

"Sure looked like a thing." Clint mumbles.

"Okay, it's more like a whenever he's in town," I say quietly.

"Ohhhh... So like friends with benefits?"

I shrug as Wade says, "Something like that, but you know how that goes." Clint nods, continuing to eat his burrito. Wade follows suit as I look between the two.

"That's it?" I ask.

Clint looks up at his food, raising an eyebrow. "Should there be more?"

"Well-you-I-don't-uh... Don't you want to ask anything else?" I stutter.

"...Not really... You're gay, not a big deal Actually, I wills ay I am a little confused. I thought you were head over heels for Jade."

"Well-"

"Oh he is." Wade interrupts me.

"Ohhhh!" Clint says, his voice rising an octave. "So you're bi?"

I feel the blush rising to my cheeks as I nod.

"You should tell Jade then, considering this isn't serious." Clint says gesturing between Wade and I again.

"Oh he did." Wade says, not looking away from, I think, his second burrito. I shoot him a glare, elbowing his ribs. He shifts in his seat slightly, but is otherwise unphased.

"Oh!" Clint says happily, but I see in his eyes as he starts to connect everything. "Oh..." He repeats, disheartened. "That's why you two left!" Clint exclaims, referring to Jade and I. "And that's why she was acting so weird."

"What?" I ask.

"Well right before she left, I was back at the tower and she went off on a tangent saying she didn't deserve a family or love."

"Seems pretty insecure to me." Wade mumbles through what I know is his third burrito. I smack his shoulder before responding to Clint.

"What? That's ridiculous, Jade-" I stop mid sentence, realizing something.

"Woo-hoo, uh Earth to Peter." Wade says waving a hand in front of my face.

"Jade kept saying that I didn't love her; that I didn't know what I was talking about. But she just doesn't think she deserves it. Or me..."

"That would make sense. She doesn't think very highly of herself in terms of social acceptance." Clint agrees.

"Now I really gotta meet her. We're basically the same person. I mean, c'mon, our names even rhyme," Wade inputs. I ignore his painfully true comment - I mean , he has a point the two people I love are basically the male and female versions of each other - and look at Clint.

"I texted her-"

"I texted her!" Wade interrupts, again.

"Anyway, I asked if she was okay, she said she was. What do you think?" I continue.

"She sure was out of it. The only things she seemed to be sure of was leaving." Clint says. "But I'm sure she's okay."

*End of Flashback*

"Hey, kid, you okay?" Clint asks from his position on the couch. I shake my head, realizing the elevator doors are opening and the rest of the team are exiting it.

"So this was the important news?" Tony asks.

"Peter... You're back." Cap says, taking a step towards me. "Are you alright?"

I nod, saying, "Yeah, I just needed to clear my head. Sorry."

"Don't apologize Peter, we all need some space sometimes." Bruce reassures me.

"Not to be pushy, but do you mind telling us why you needed space?" Nat asks.

"Yeah, that's actually why I came back," I sigh, taking a deep breath and sitting next to Clint. "I'm guessing you've all caught on that Jade and I left for the same reason," I state while everyone settles on the couches. Several nods are my response as I continue. "Well - basically - I-" Why is this so much harder than it needs to be. I close my eyes taking another deep breath. Soon I feel a hand on my shoulder and open my eyes to Clint giving me a reassuring nod. "I told Jade that I love her." I finally spit out. "And she didn't take it well..." I mutter when no one responds. Before anyone can say anything, I continue. "She seemed confused and distraught, and, well, you know Jade. She needs to be alone when she feels vulnerable. And I... I hated the humiliation of rejection, so I left too," I finished, almost childish. I look up to see everyone processing what I said.

"Is Jade still at her apartment?" Steve asks standing up.

"I think so." I nod.

"Peter, thank you for telling us. You never need to hide anything from us, you that right?"

I nod again as Steve looks down at me.

"Has anyone checked in on Jade?" Steve asks, directing his attention to the rest of the team.

"I talked to her a few days ago, she said she just needed time." I answer. Steve turns, heading towards the elevator, but before he can press a button, the doors slide open. He's face to face with Jade.

"Hi." She squeaks looking up at him.

"Hi." He responds. She looks past him at the rest of us on the couches. When her eyes meet mine, she releases a shaky breath and walks over to me. I stand up and she throws her arms around me in a hug. I return it, holding her to me and squeezing my eyes shut as she clutches to my shirt.

"Je suis désolée, Peter. J'aurais aime te dire ce que tu voulais entendre." I open my eyes after Jade speaks, blinking away the few tears that were coming.

"Uh, Jade, I only caught about half of that."

She laughs, pulling back slightly and wiping away a stray tear. "Sorry." She mumbles, looking up at me. "I wish I could have told you what you wanted to hear. But," She cuts herself off, looking around at everyone else. When she looks back at me, I nod reassuring her they know. "I do love you, just not like that."

"I know Jade, and I get that now."

"It's just... You and Gwen were so perfect and you deserve someone better than me." She mumbled, looking at her feet towards the end.

"I'm not even going to try and convince you about how wrong you are. Anyone would be lucky to have you." I say, pulling her back towards me for another hug.

"Would it be inappropriate to say I love you, Tigré?" I tensed slightly, feeling foolish by not only being in front of the whole team, but the girl that I love acting like there's not some form of barrier between us now. Leaning up to my ear, and speaking softly enough so only I can hear. Jade says, "Let me know." She pulls away, looking up at me wish a sweet smile before turning towards the rest of the team.

"And sorry for running out without a word... Again..." Jade says sheepishly.

"I'm just glad I caught you before you did." Clint says, standing. "We might've blown your door off again if all of us got home to find you weren't here." Jade laughs, looking down and brushing her hair behind her ear.

"Do you have anything you need taken to you room Jade?" Thor asks, standing as well and joining us.

"No, I figured I'd be fine for the next couple days," Jade replies.

"It's wonderful to have you back." Thor says, placing a hand on Jade's shoulder. Jade looks at his hand quizzically before pulling Thor into a hug.

"Why so formal, Thunder Thighs?" Thor returns the gesture, releasing a hearty laugh as the rest of us chuckle along. Thor lifts Jade off the ground before unwrapping her from his arms.

"It's great to have you back Frenchy, but don't do that again." Tony says standing and walking towards his elevator.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to worry you," Jade replies satirically.

"Oh, I wasn't worried. Capsicle here was a whimpering mess though." Tony says before entering the elevator. I turn remembering Steve is still by the other elevator. He looks at all of us.

"Well you shouldn't just disappear like that." Steve says folding his arms across his chest.

Jade giggles before responding. "I know, and I am sorry. It won't happen again."

"Well..."

*Jade's POV*

"Well..." Natasha says, standing. "Why don't we let these two love birds hash things out." I face Peter as everyone gathers into the elevator and Steve goes down the hall. Peter doesn't look at me as he falls back onto one of the couches, laying down, an arm over his eyes. He let's out a heavy breath before patting a spot next to him, indicating me to sit down. I do so, but I have no idea what to say. Peter rests his hand on my leg before moving his arm from his eyes to his chest and looking at me.

"I wish you felt what I feel." He says so quiet, if we weren't the only people in the room, I wouldn't hear him.

"I do too." I rush out, placing my hands over his on his chest.

"Then why-"

"Peter, I'm not what's right for you." I interrupt him. "I want nothing but the best for you, I really do. And I wish that was me, but it's not." He doesn't say anything, so I continue. "Believe me, I want to kiss you, and touch you, and love , but I'd be like a poisonous drug to you. You're so good and pure, I'd tear you apart, ruin you. I-"

"Jade, when will it get through that steel head of yours!" Peter shouts sitting up. I move back, removing my hands from his. "Before I even loved you, I knew you were special." He says softer.

"How can you think that?" I say looking down at my hands. "How can you even like me, let alone love me?"

"Jade..." Peter says, pulling my chin up. "Of course I like you. YOu're fun to be around, you're smart. You're funny. You're, very, cute. You're different; you're crazy. You're perfect in an imperfect way. You always speak your mind. You have the best laugh. Of course I like you. You're you." His hands leave my face as he stands from the couch.

"Wait, Peter," I grab his hand. He looks down at me.

"What Jade?" He says tiredly. "You don't like me, I like you. There's nothing to be done, so just let it be." I stood up taking his other hand.

"I'm sorry, I am... Just please, don't hate me." I mumble looking down at our intertwined hands. Peter brought one of his hands to my chin, making me look him in the eye. His tired, cloudy eyes.

"I don't hate you," he promised. "I swear I don't It just hurts too much to be around you right now." His hands drop to his sides and he slowly makes his way to the elevator.

"Are you going back to your apartment?" I squeak.

He nods before entering the elevator. "Call me if you guys need anything." I nod, biting my tongue. The elevator doors slide close, leaving me alone and hollow.

I wanted to chase after Peter, to hug him and tell him that it will be okay, but that's probably the last thing he wants from me right now. He probably wants me to go back to France, hell it'd please him to see me go.

"It just hurts too much to be around you right now."

I should be as far away from him as possible. If only I wasn't on SHIELD's list, I'd leave o Europe, maybe South America. I haven't been to Brazil in awhile... No, Sawyer, there's no running from this one. Just give Peter time, he'll come around. Don't talk, don't draw attention, just let Peter come back to you.

I take a deep breath, looking around the living room. They probably don't even want me here. I shake the negative thought from my mind, despite its truth. I start walking towards the elevator, even though I was hoping to stay here, but stop myself remembering what everyone said about me running off. I turn down the hallway and stop in front of Steve's door. I knock softly, looking down at my feet. Seconds later, the door swings open and I look up at Steve. Neither of us say anything at first, but I shake my head, remembering what I had to say.

"Hey, so Peter went back to his apartment, but he said to give him a call if anything happens. And I'm gonna head out too, but call me if you something comes up." I rush out. I turn away, but Steve catches my hand.

"You're leaving? Again?"

"Well yeah... At least I'm telling you this time." I say meekly.

"Why? You just got back," Steve says innocently.

I look up at him and shrug. "Peter doesn't want me around, so I doubt any of you do. Even if you did, you wouldn't want a sad and depressed Jade," I state casually.

Steve's brows furrow before he shakes his head. "What? Nevermind Peter not wanting you, why on Earth would you think you're unwanted here?" I open my mouth to respond, but he continues. "Speaking for myself Jade, I would love to have you around. And if you're sad, then I can maybe help you feel better," Steve rambles. I smile at his words, but look down in an attempt to hide it.

"Thanks Spangles, but I really must feel like going home and being alone."

Steve sighs, but does nod. "Just... Don't stay away for so long this time."

"I promise, it'll go by faster than you think." 

A/N: Alright, so basically, I'm a shit person who should have updated sooner. All I can say is I've been depressed lately and wanted to write, but didn't. Thank you for those of you who are still with me, even though I am a terrible author. 

Anyways, the chapter. Little heavy towards the end, but oh, just you wait. What about Clint, Wade and Peter's little chat? Eh, good? Bad? Whatever, I like it. Let me know what you guys think, and I will catch you in a bit for the next chapter! 

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