Disappointment again embraced David in a cold, suffocating touch. Alarm surrounded him stepping out into a world with no form or structure to recognize. There is no sense of time because there was no urgency to get anywhere. No direction because there is no place he wanted to go. But mostly, there is no want for anything here. David walked around trying to lose himself in thought and direction, but kept finding himself on the same route home. He let one bus pass and then another, but they kept coming and the anxiety of being exposed out in the open, with the eyes of strangers judging him, inched David to the only home he knew now. So he took the long ride back, another defeat for not being able to find somewhere else to go.

After hours on the bus David finally made it to the old house. The worn wood, and faded paint greeted David, sharing the same excitement of his stay.

Inside David was greeted with the fresh smell of vegetables being cooked. The freshly cut parsley Grams grew out in the garden. A hint of butter that gave the chicken stew a rich aroma with a sweet after taste. The house was clean as well. Grams had just vacuumed and dusted which made for a very pleasant and soothing sensation. Grams was already preparing food for the rest of the week. She had cooked this way for as long as David could remember. In many ways it reminded him of the way it was done in the military.

The aroma was a pleasant departure from what he was used to having out in the field. Although he missed the mess hall food he'd grown to love, this was different. It was exactly like when she used to cook for him as a kid.

The day was hot but the windows and doors where open, letting in the fresh breeze. Grams had a couple of trees David and his dad planted for her. The lawn was well taken care of even though it was only a small patch of grass. Perhaps only big enough for three or four chairs.

There were beautiful flowers and roses that made the white and yellow paint and trimming of the house more vibrant and brilliant. The trees provided a cool shade which covered the windows, so they could be left open when the sun hit them leaving a great view of the outside.

Grams was playing instrumental folkloric kind of music while she went on her day. The type played in the campo or in the small rural towns of the early days. It was, very much, in contrast to the loud, banging, heavily instrumented music that the gangbanger were playing outside in the street.

At times it even seemed that Grams and the kids outside were competing with one another as to who could play theirs the loudest and annoy the most. But it wasn't even close. Gram's music was designed to liven a carnival scene, where the luxury of sound systems and amplifiers were not available and the instruments themselves were intended to carry the sound. It was also considered very old and annoying to the more upbeat and less imaginative youth since it did not have lyrics.

But the cloud of disappointment that surrounded David did not leave him much patience to deal with all this chaos that attacked his senses.

The smell of the food and the cleanliness was nice, but all David wanted was solitude to think. Instead here was the old woman in a storm of activity who David couldn't avoid. He walked in to the kitchen counting each step, his fist in his pockets. He had always been taught to say hello when he came in, and twenty years later was no different.

"What, you're here already!?" Grams cocked her head back and raised one eyebrow, the rest of her face remained stoic.

"Yes, I just got here. What's all this?" David's furrowed brow and tired eyes revealing more of his true feelings than Grams expression.

"Oh nothing much, just here being a fool," Grams raised her eyebrows and shook her head as she chopped some potatoes rather aggressively.

David remained silent, the short exchange making him cautious on what to say next.

"Well, are you done for the day? Or you just going to sit around, scratching your balls the rest of the day?" Grams broke the short silence with no care, she had no time for any.

David took a deep breath while gripping a spoon pressing his thumb against the inside. Grandma's crude tone leaving him in an unwanted solitude.

"I'm done for now, didn't get the answers I was hoping for. But I am hoping to appeal the decision and return as soon as possible," replied David.

"Aye! Gracias. It's nice to know you're more eager to go back to your death than to stay here with this old woman and your snotty sister!" Gram's tossed the potatoes into a pot splashing some hot water over the stove.

"No abuelita it's not that. But what am I going to do here? They need me over there and..."

"And you're not needed here? Whatever, it's your decision. You are in charge of your own life and you're too old for me to tell you what to do. Don't worry about us, we'll make do. We've always done it, now it's no different," Gram's never glance at David or missed a beat of her routine.

David stood cemented to his feet staring at Grams waiting for something from her which would release him, but nothing came. She just continued cooking while he searched for anything in his life to liberate him, but nothing came, only a bottomless chasm of silence.

Gram's continued, no pause in her mechanized movements done through the years, through the death of her loved ones, through the wars in the streets, and now the abandonment of her grandson. Left in her 70's to raise a fifteen-year-old girl with all the demands of life she did not stop and just followed through.

David didn't know what to expect, especially after everyone told him to stay and how much he was needed. Now Grams was giving him a chance to leave, so why didn't his heart rush with excitement? Why was there pain instead?

"So when you plan on leaving?" Grams once again broke the silence.

"I don't know. It could be a while, or it could be next week. I'll try to make it as soon as possible, but I don't know how long it'll be," David continued to fiddle with the spoon and peaked up to see Grams, she still did not look at him.

"Well, in the meantime I'll need you to help me around the house. I know you have things to do but everyone here needs to help out as much as they can," Grams said.

"Well, I have some money I can gi..." David tried to say.

"No! De dinero no te preocupes. We don't know how long you'll be here and you don't even have a job. No, what we need is help with the chores, the food, cleaning, and your sister. She's got a lot of problem in school and other things and I can't be chasing around giving her the attention she needs." Gram's waved a knife in the air as she cut down David's offer.

"I don't know how much I can help out with Liz. I really wouldn't know what to do or what she needs," David said.

"Oh and I do? She's your sister, and one way or another you have to try and talk to her. I'm not asking for miracles, but you have to at least try. OK?" Now she looked at David as she used the knife in her hands to punctuate her point.

The side of David's head pulsed at the thought of having to speak to Liz and do work around the house He closed his eyes and swallowed hard just to keep his true feeling from exploding. But at least it was something to feel, and it gave him a direction even if it was away from it. After all he had gone through, all the places he had been, all he had accomplished, ending back home could not be his only option. The chocking fire inside his chest burning hotter every minute he spent in the house with these two people reinforced the sentiment. His instincts had never failed him, especially when he followed them. And he had never felt surer.

"Well, not now. I have to find out where I have to go now to handle my business," David said.

"Fine, when will you be back?"

"I don't know. I could be out all day or only a few hours," David said.

"Well, whenever you get back, your responsibilities will be waiting for you."