February 13th, 2018 23:34

Jolie

Hey, bitch, you're late!

Carson

Late? Who is this?

Jolie

You're fucking hilarious. You'd better not be to too far away, some drunk asshole keeps trying to make out with me.

Carson

You seriously have the wrong number.

Jolie

This is the number you gave me for your new phone! Stop fucking around!

Carson

You must have gotten a number wrong, because I don't know who you are.

Is there someone else you can call to pick you up?

Hello?

I don't want to leave you with a drunk asshole.

Jolie

You're really not Alicia?

Carson

Definitely not Alicia.

Jolie

Motherfucker.

Carson

Sorry.

February 14th, 2018 04:55

Carson

Hi, sorry to bother you. Just wondering if you made it home ok?

February 14th, 2018 11:12

Jolie

Were you up until 5am worrying?

Carson

I was already up, early morning shift.

Jolie

I took a cab, didn't get assaulted by drunk asshole.

Thanks for asking.

Carson

No problem.

I couldn't help but feel a bit responsible since I was the only person you could get a hold of.

Jolie

That's fucking depressing.

Carson

Probably.

February 14th, 2018 17:52

Jolie

You know what's really fucking depressing?

Getting stood up on Valentine's Day.

Carson

Ouch.

You ok?

Jolie

Aren't you just a fucking white knight, huh?

Carson

Sorry, I just figured you texted because you wanted to talk about it.

Jolie

I do and I don't. I don't know why I texted you.

Actually I do.

My husband stood me up and my only friend is his sister so I can't really bitch to her about it.

But like you don't need to listen to a stranger fucking complaining right?

You should probably just block my number.

I'm unstable and clingy and annoying.

Carson

Ah.

That's a tough situation.

What was his excuse?

Jolie

No excuse, he's not answering his phone.

At least he made this reservation on his credit card so I can rack up a giant booze bill.

Carson

You should eat something too.

Jolie

Are you my fucking mother?

Carson

I'm a doctor.

Don't drink on an empty stomach.

Jolie

Sure, doc.

What's better, shrimp Alfredo or chicken Parmesan?

Carson

Pasta will soak up the alcohol better.

Jolie

Lol

I'm just going to get dessert.

Chocolate will help me.

Carson

Scientifically chocolate stimulates the part of a woman's brain that reacts to love, so it probably will help you.

Jolie

Haha.

Is it sad that this cake is going to make me feel more in love than my husband does?

Ugh depressing.

Please block my number.

You don't need my shit, especially when you probably have V Day plans.

Carson

I'm actually working tonight.

Jolie

Lol

All work and no play for the doctor.

Are you standing up your wife right now?

Carson

She's probably screwing her boyfriend right now.

Jolie

Jesus your life is just as depressing as mine.

Carson

I don't know why I just said that.

Sorry.

Jolie

It's easy telling a stranger all your problems.

Carson

Do you have kids?

Jolie

God no. I'd be a terrible mom.

Carson

You can't know that.

Jolie

I can't take care of my husband, how could I take care of a fucking kid?

Carson

I've heard that kids are easier than husbands.

Jolie

Lol

You're probably right.

You got kids?

Carson

Yeah.

Jolie

Do you like it?

Carson

I like being a father better than being a doctor.

Jolie

And husband?

Carson

I've heard being a doctor is easier than being a husband.

Jolie

Lol

Heard, huh? No personal experience there?

Carson

You sure laugh a lot for somebody so depressed.

Jolie

You sure don't laugh a lot for a doctor who's married with kids.

Carson

Lol

Jolie

:P

I'm not actually laughing it's just an expression.

Anyway shouldn't you be like doctoring people?

Carson

I'm on dinner break.

It's slow right now anyway, it'll pick up this evening once everyone's Valentine's Day gifts go haywire.

Jolie

V Day is a busy night for doctors?

Carson

I'm sure I'll be pulling more than one foreign object out of an ass tonight.

That was inappropriate.

I'm so sorry.

Jolie

Lmfao no apologies Dr. Foreign Object.

I did actually laugh that time.

Carson

Well there's that at least.

Jolie

I'm not your patient, you can talk about asses with me.

Carson

I don't even know your name.

Or your age.

I should most certainly NOT be talking about asses with you.

Jolie

So it's okay to talk about your cheating wife but not asses?

Carson

I shouldn't have been talking about that either.

My break is up.

Jolie

Thanks for keeping me company for dinner, doc.

February 15th, 2018 01:33

Jolie

I can't sleep.

I need to know if you pulled something weird out of an ass.

Carson

I should have blocked your number when you told me to.

Jolie

You totally still should.

After you tell me about your night.

Carson

No foreign objects tonight, thankfully.

And I'm not supposed to discuss my patients.

Jolie

Oh come on you don't have to tell me who it is.

Come on, just telllllllll me!

If you don't I won't sleep!

I'll be imagining you elbow deep in someone's ass!

Do you want that on your conscience?!

Carson

You're a very strange girl.

Jolie

I've been told that.

Don't change the subject.

Carson

There weren't any asses.

But I had a woman who fainted when her boyfriend proposed and stabbed herself with a fork on the way down.

Jolie

OMG!

How does that even happen?!?!

Carson

I've no idea but there was a fork wound in her cheek.

Jolie

I wish I'd have been at that restaurant!

Carson

You are morbid.

Jolie

You're the one telling me about it lol

Carson

You're the one obsessed with asses.

Jolie

Asses are great!

Prude.

Carson

I think I might be older than you.

Jolie

Never too old to enjoy asses. You're just a fucking prude.

Carson

How drunk are you?

Jolie

Drunk enough to be fantasizing about sexy doctors.

February 15th, 2018 11:39

Jolie

Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

I'll stop texting you.

February 15th, 2018 22:18

Jolie

You should block my number.

February 16th, 2018 00:42

Jolie

Did you do it?

Did you block my number?

February 16th, 2018 01:13

Jolie

You did.

I guess it's safe to text you then, since you won't see it.

I told you I was fucked up.

Truth is I kept talking to you because I felt a connection with you that I've never had with anyone before.

Which is fucking nuts because I don't know you. You don't know me. I've been rude and needy and an idiot and you've been nothing but nice and I appreciate it.

I'm 23 years old and I've been married for 5 years. High school sweethearts, so cliche, right?

Turns out as adults as don't actually have anything in common and we kind of hate each other.

But it's been habit for so long that I stay with him because it's all I know.

Maybe he feels the same way. I don't know.

I wasn't lying when I said I was fantasizing about you.

A guy that doesn't even know me, but cared enough to check to make sure I made it home ok.

A guy that kept me company when I was alone and upset, while also advising me to take care of myself.

I know it's ridiculous to think that you actually care, I mean you don't even know me.

But that's how it felt and it was comforting.

And this version of you in my head is probably not anything that any man could ever live up to, so it's not like I'm asking you to run away with me or something.

I mean I'm not asking you anything because you blocked my number.

I'm just yelling into the technological void that I hate my life and everything in it, except for you, Dr. Wrong Number.

My name is Jolie, btw.

February 19th, 2018 17:54

Carson

Hi Jolie. I'm Carson.

February 20th, 2018 00:01

Jolie

Fuck.

You didn't block my number.

I'm an idiot.

February 20th, 2018 07:10

Carson

No, I gave you the impression that I blocked you.

Not on purpose.

I just didn't know what to say.

I read your messages more times over than I'm willing to admit.

You'd think being an ER doctor would make me feel important to people, but it doesn't. I go through the motions in my work and at home and I care in a professional capacity but not really in an emotional one.

I did worry about you that first night. Actually truly worried that this poor girl somewhere was stranded with a drunk guy trying to take advantage of her and all she had was my stupid phone number.

And then on Valentine's Day I seriously considered taking off from my shift to come to dinner so you wouldn't have to be alone.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I get it.

I get feeling confused that everything is in greyscale and one brilliant ray of colour came in the form of a wrong number.

February 20th, 2018 11:35

Jolie

That was corny.

February 20th, 2018 14:17

Carson

Yeah it was.

February 20th, 2018 18:17

Jolie

You might have missed your calling as a poet.

A corny poet.

Carson

Lol

February 20th, 2018 23:48

Jolie

So like what happens now?

We've established that we're both losers.

February 21st, 2018 00:52

Jolie

Married losers.

February 21st, 2018 02:43

Carson

I'm a lot older than you.

Jolie

I'm into DILFs.

Carson

I'm old enough that I just had to google DILF.

February 21st, 2018 03:25

Jolie

I like you, doc.

This is stupid but I like you.

Carson

I like you too.

Jolie

You have kids.

Carson

That are way closer to your age than I am.

Jolie

Wow, like superDILF then.

I'm a bad person.

I don't want to be a fucking home wrecker.

But I'm selfish.

Carson

If it makes you feel better I'd be a cradle robbing home wrecker.

Jolie

Well we haven't met yet.

Maybe that's the answer.

Just let the magic ray of fucking colour or whatever be what it is.

For now.

February 21st, 2018 05:52

Carson

For now.

[...]

August 28th, 2018 19:47

Jolie

Well?? How was poetry circle??

Carson

Lol good!

I got lots of snaps.

How was your interview?

Jolie

It was shit, but I think I got the apartment anyway.

The landlord was super desperate.

Carson

Well he didn't call your reference. :P

Jolie

You're a shit reference anyway, you don't even know what I look like!

Carson

He wouldn't need to ask me that, he already saw you.

If anything I would have asked him what you look like.

Jolie

That's weird creepy stalker behaviour Doctor.

Carson

You love it. ;)

August 29th, 2018 16:55

Jolie

I GOT THE APARTMENT!!

Carson

Congratulations! :)

Jolie

As of September 1st, we'll both be bachelors.

Carson

That we will.

Jolie

Nervous?

Carson

Lol

Terrified.

September 1st, 2018 13:55

Carson

How did it go?

Jolie

Great!

I'm sweaty and dirty and about to test out my new shower. ;)

Carson

Ahhh that will carry me through the rest of my shift, love.

Jolie

And what about after your shift?

Carson

Well, Miss Wrong Number, I'd like to take you out for dinner.

Jolie

:)

I thought you'd never ask.