I froze mid-step. They were lying. They had to be.

Private William Adams stood at the threshold of Damien's house. His face etched with sympathy and sadness.

A strangled sound left my throat, fixating everyone's attention on me.

Another sob. My body crumbled.

Thundering footsteps.

Someone was holding me.

Damien.

No. No. No!

He had promised.

"It's okay. It's okay." Someone murmured.

No! No! I scrambled away. Air. I needed air. I was drowning. No! He couldn't...

Something hit my head. Hard. Searing pain shot across my skull. And as the darkness claimed me, I couldn't help but wish that I was dead too.

•••

"Skye right?" A deep voice startled me from my thoughts.

I turned to face my company. My eyes widened at the sight of the man. He was ruggedly handsome. He had dirty blond hair with unruly locks falling across his forehead. His eyes were a brilliant shade of green and his face put sculptures to shame. He was lean but muscular from what his stance indicated. He was about a head taller than me.

I glanced up at the man questioningly.

"I'm Cian, Harry's friend. I have to admit, Harry is smitten with Emmy."

I swooned. His voice was so sexy.

"Oh! I'm friends with Emmy, and you already seem to know my name."

He rewarded me with a slow smirk, "Emmy talks a lot about you whenever Harry brings her along."

I flashed him a smile.

He gestured towards the loveseat and said, "Would you like to take a seat? You seem to be far more impressed with the sea than with all the people in there."

I smiled, settling myself on one side of the seat.

"I prefer solitude over company." I said.

Cian cocked his head and regarded me for a long moment. After a long while he grinned, "Well, let's see if I can make it past the walls and accompany you in your solitude."

•••

Cian took my number and asked me out the next day. And the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that...

I found that I enjoyed his company and although he was so different from the type of guys I preferred, I was attracted to him.

He just had this charisma that I hadn't seen in anyone else. I had discovered that beneath his suit, he had beautiful tattoos that covered most of his body. Well that's what he said, anyway. I had only ever seen the ones covering his left arm.

Cian was so different from him.

Where Damien had been bulky and built, Cian was lean. Damien had had deep chocolate brown eyes, he had bright green ones. Damien was serious and sincere, he never played around and always seemed to be on guard. Cian wasn't.

Cian was playful, hilarious and absolutely charming. His gait screamed attention.

And that made him so unlike Damien that I couldn't help but think that I was betraying him by choosing to be with someone who was so different.

That was the sole reason why I ha–

"Earth to, Skye. You zoned out." Cian's voice cut through my thoughts.

My eyes focused on his astoundingly handsome face and I smiled apologetically.

"What's wrong?" He inquired, concern evident in his voice.

"Nothing. Just work. Speaking of, I really nee–" I was cut off by my phone.

Frowning, I dug around my purse for my phone and swiped across the screen to pick up the call without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Skye dear, we were just wondering when you were getting here."

My eyes widened in shock. How could I have forgotten. Had I become that shallow? That callous, to forget what date it was? My eyes prickled.

Getting to my childhood home would take me two hours and that's if there was no traffic.

"Skye?" Came Damien's mother's voice through the phone.

I took a deep breath and said, "Lilly, I don't think I can get there now. There was a last moment meeting. But I'm going to leave in sometime. I'll see him when I get there. I'm so sorry that I didn't warn you."

"Oh, that's okay sweetheart. Drop by after you visit him. We miss you a lot around here." She said wistfully.

I mumbled a quick 'yes' and cut the call.

Grabbing my phone and purse I called out for the waiter to get the bill. Cian had been staring at me intently throughout the entirety of my conversation.

"You're leaving." He stated nonchalantly.

"Look, Cian, I really enjoy hanging out with you. But this has to stop. I– I'm not the right one for you." I finished and slammed the bills on the table.

I jumped out of my chair and ran towards my office.

This was what I needed to do. I didn't have it in me to lose someone I love.

Again.

And Cian was getting too close too fast and I was falling fast and hard and I just couldn't. Not when I still loved Damien. Not when–

A sob escaped me, halting my thoughts. I had forgotten. How could I forget?

You don't deserve to live. My inner voice chastised. You didn't deserve his love. You should've died. You should've killed yourself. It's never too late.

The familiar urge to grab a blade and just cut, slammed through me but I took a deep breath whilst rushing towards the parking lot.

I could do it.

I wouldn't give in.

Never again.

•••

"Damien." I whispered as I walked towards him. Towards the man that I loved the most in the world.

My right hand clutched a single red rose and my left held my car keys.

I knew that I was being delusional. But I could almost feel him calling out to me. Memories flashed across my mind: the two of us dancing to Justin Timberlake. Our first anniversary. The surprise party he had thrown for me.

Everything was a distant memory yet it felt like it had all just happened. I remembered him. Clear as day. His husky voice after we'd made love. His flirtatious grin that he reserved just for me. I was his angel. His queen. His best friend. And he was everything to me.

I sat cross-legged beside the grey tombstone. My hands traced the carvings on their own accord and my eyes welled up with tears. It was just him. So I knew I could let it all go and just sob. He would always be there for me.

I gently placed the single red rose above all the other bouquets. Simple. Deadly. Beautiful. Just like him.

I sat there for a long while. At first I was quiet, just reminiscing, then it all left me. I whispered of all that I had done in the past year and I felt comfort in knowing that if there were such a thing as an afterlife, he would watch over me and listen to me. I told him about Cian and I told him about how sorry I was. I told him that I was falling for a man who was entirely different from him and begged him to forgive me for it.

Once I was done, I wiped the remnants of my tears with the sleeve of my burgundy sweater. I was about to get up when an all too familiar voice spoke up, "Skye."

My head whipped around to see Kenya. "What are you doing here?" I asked accusingly.

"I– I know that you come here every year since..." She cleared her throat and continued, "I wanted to talk to you."

I shook my head and replied, "I don't."

"Skye, you have to know that I've been living with guilt for the past six years. And after... after Sam left me, I understand how you must feel, and I needed to tell you. Please. Just listen to me." Kenya pleaded.

I sighed and gestured for her to start talking.

"I lied. About Damien and I before we left." She admitted.

"I know."

She looked surprised and then laughed humourlessly. "Yeah, I suppose you would. He was so... devoted to you."

I didn't say anything.

"Before– before he left, he told me to tell you something. I didn't because I was so angry that he was only ever thinking of you. But he said that he wanted you to be happy no matter where you would find it, no matter who it would be with. He wanted you to know that he was leaving only so that you would never have to live a life of terrorism and he would defend that free life for you till his last breath.

"He said that he loved you and even if he died, he would always be there for you every step of the way."

A sob escaped me as I let his last message to me sink in.

"He left these letters for you. I'm sorry. I never realised that it could hurt so much if the person you loved left you with loose ends..."

Kenya handed me a bunch of envelopes tied together with red ribbons.

These were his last words. His thoughts when he left to fight in wars.

I sat speechless for what seemed like an eternity. Kenya had already left and the last rays of the sun were ebbing away from the horizon.

A crunch of footsteps and a pair of black converse came into my line of view.

I looked up to see Cian.

He crouched low and read the engravings of the tombstone, then turned to look at me.

I shifted my gaze. I didn't want sympathy.

Large hands took ahold of my face and I faced Cian.

"You don't have to explain. I heard. But I want you to know that I'm here. I'll be here for you. Every step of the way. I will love you just like he did. Just let me in. Let me into your solitude." He whispered.

I stared at him for a long moment and then got up. He held me close to his side as I looked at the tombstone longingly.

I let out a deep breath and tugged Cian.

We left the cemetery gates behind us and quietly walked towards the two cars parked by the road.

"You followed me." I accused.

"I wanted to know where you were going. Your face.. well when you got the call, you looked like you had heard the worst news of your life and you're so damned secretive all the time. So I just followed you." He shrugged unapologetically.

"Let's take your car. Harry came with me so he'll take mine home." Cian said.

"How about we leave separately?" I asked.

"No. I won't let you. Besides, you did claim to feel something for me so I'm definitely not letting you walk away from me."

"I have to go to other places too."

"Then take me with you."

I stared at him and he looked back, undeterred. There was determination in his eyes and I knew that I wouldn't be able to convince him so I gestured for him to get into my car.

The drive to Lilly's was short.

I hadn't been there since the day of his funeral. I couldn't. I hadn't even returned to our apartment. His parents took care of everything.

"I assume this is his house." Cian broke the silence.

I nodded.

"We'll do this together." He mumbled, taking my hand and kissing it slowly.

I gulped and got out of the car. We walked towards the front door slowly and I rung the bell.

I held my breath and counted the seconds till the door opened. Ten seconds later, the door swung open to reveal Lilly. She burst into tears on seeing me and then looked at Cian.

For a moment she stood in silence and then she engulfed him in a bone crushing hug, whispering something into his ears.

She invited us enthusiastically.

So I entered the house that held the memories of my past in the arms of the man who could lead me to the future.