Harry tried to enjoy the day out with Ron. It was quite cute trying to keep a lid on his enthusiasm for regular Muggle oddities like card machines and clothes mannequins. After several years together he was determined to get Hermione something special for her birthday, hence thinking outside the box and forcing Harry to help him go Muggle shopping.

But try as he might, Harry's mind kept drifting back to Draco, and the knot in his stomach got tighter and tighter as the day went on. Because there was just one downside to dating Draco Malfoy: they were literally the only two that knew about it.

At first Harry had agreed. The idea of trying to explain what had blossomed in those few hours they were stuck together in that cottage, of their incredible night of passion that grew quietly but strongly into a genuine relationship, it was mind boggling. "Hey Ron!" he imagined himself saying as they perused over shoes and jewellery. "Guess who I'm shagging? Yes the last person you'd ever think of on the whole entire planet!"

But as the months passed Harry found himself ready to have that conversation, ready to argue and fight and explain that he'd actually fallen in love with the boy he'd spent his school years thinking he hated. The thing was, Draco absolutely disagreed.

Harry didn't doubt he cared for him, that he was committed to what they had together, but for him, it was enough. He seemed terrified of exposing themselves to the rest of the world for scrutiny, and wanted to hide away in their protected little bubble.

It may have been safe, but Harry wasn't sure if it was healthy. He was getting too accustomed to lying to his friends, his best friends, turning down dinners and drinks and any number of other social activities for no apparent reason, unable to explain that there was a very good, very blond, very nubile reason waiting for him at home.

So by the time Ron had finally found a gift, and then dragged Harry into a pub for one pint that turned into three, Harry apparated back into his front room with a bit of a storm cloud over his head.

Draco was draped over the sofa, a large bowl of popcorn on the floor, some silly romantic comedy on the TV. "Hey!" he cried delighted, pressing pause and jumping up to give Harry a hug. "You pick me up anything nice?" He winked, he was joking, but Harry felt it was very much the wrong thing to say in that moment.

He sighed, tired, goaded by the beer swilling round his empty stomach. "How could I buy you something with Ron around? I don't have a boyfriend, remember?"

Draco sobered up instantly, pulling away and blinking. Harry immediately felt like a twat, and wished he'd never said anything.

"Harry-" Draco began, but he waved him off.

"Sorry, forget it, I've got a headache from too much cheesy store music."

But Draco looked hurt. "Harry do you want to talk about it?"

He pulled off his jacket and hung it up. "I just can't stand this lying, it's getting to me, I understand where you're coming from, I just..." He trailed off, toeing his trainers off without bothering with the laces. Shit, he hadn't meant to have this conversation, he wasn't ready.

"Harry you know how I feel," said Draco quietly. "People won't understand."

"You mean your father won't understand," said Harry, rubbing his forehead. "Because that's what it comes down to doesn't it; there couldn't possibly ever be a gay Malfoy."

Draco's face darkened, and Harry realised he'd pushed one of his pressure points. "And that's exactly one of the reasons I don't want to tell anyone," he said, crossing his arms. "I don't know if I'm gay Harry, I don't. And trying to tell my father that, that I'm just fucking you and not even sure if I like any other men, he'll lose his shit, he won't listen to any reason."

Harry tried not to rise to the bait, but honestly, he knew this had been brewing for a while. "Just fucking?" he repeated.

"That's not what I meant," Draco began, but Harry cut across him.

"No but that's what this is, isn't it? You're too ashamed to come out and commit to this, because for you it's just a phase, an experiment."

"Harry that is not fair," Draco snapped.

Harry rubbed his fingers into his eyes. "You know why I never got serious with any of those Muggle guys – and believe me, there was more than one I wanted to get serious with." It was cruel, but Harry couldn't help but feel a small sense of triumph as pain flickered across Draco's face. Good. A little jealously proved at least he did care at some level. "Because I refused to be a part of a relationship built on lies. And yet here I am, neck deep in bullshit! It's making me sick!"

"Oh we can't all be brave Gryffindors," Draco crowed, stomping around the coffee table. "I'm not like you, I have hundreds of years of family history hanging over my head! We've barely managed to scrape back any kind of reputation after the war, my father's not long out of Azkaban, and you want me to behave like some sort of rebellious child, running round telling everyone I'm a magnificent poof when all I know is I want to be with you, that you make me happy. Isn't that enough?"

He came closer to Harry, the hurt clear in his eyes, but Harry had hold of his stick and he was going to beat his point home regardless. "Draco I love you. I love you." He ran his hand down the side of his lover's face, caressing his cheek. But the words hung there and Draco looked away, biting his lip. "But there's only so many times I can say it and not hear it back." Harry heard the tremor in his voice, and he pulled his hand away.

"There's only so many parties I can go to and endure people ribbing me about my single life, asking why I don't have a boyfriend. Christ, Ron's pissed off with the amount of times I've blown him off, but I swear Hermione starting to suspect I have a drug problem!" He ran his hands through his hair and took a step back. "I just don't see why we can't start coming out, gradually. It doesn't have to be a big scandal, but the way we are now makes me feel like it's some dirty little secret!"

Draco scowled. "I'm not doing this to make you feel bad," he berated. "Do you think I enjoy lying, sneaking around? I barely see my friends anymore, I'm always here, they're asking questions too. But I don't know what to tell them yet, not right now. Can't you just give me some more time, wait until I feel like I'm ready?"

Harry was shaking his head though. "How much more time do you need?" he demanded. "How much more proof do you need that this is real, that what we have is important? When will I be good enough for you to admit that this isn't just some fling?"

Anger flashed across Draco face. "You know it's nothing like that, it's not that I don't think you're good enough, that's fucking stupid – you're Harry Potter. I'm not good enough for you!"

"Urgh!" Harry let out an exasperated cry and flung his hands out. "And I've told you that's ridiculous. You are the only person I have even been with seriously, the only actual relationship I have to my name. Do think I'd do that for anything less than love, that I think you're anything less than worthy? I'm sick of constantly being made to feel ashamed instead of proud!"

"Harry I don't know what to say," Draco snapped, side stepping Harry's point. "There's certain pressures on me, responsibilities that I'm not willing to throw away just yet, not when I don't know you won't realise you could be with someone better – you'll move on with your life, and I'll have wrecked everything – again."

Harry stared at him mutely for several seconds. "There is so much fucked up with that statement I'm not sure even where to begin."

"Harry-"

"But how about," he cut across. "These responsibilities you can't throw away?"

Draco wrapped his arms around his body, swallowing and looking up at Harry with guilty eyes. Disgust welled up in Harry, no doubt what he was talking about.

"Fucking hell," he breathed. "You're still considering that sham fucking engagement, aren't you?" When Draco didn't answer Harry felt his temper rocket. "Are you shitting me!" he yelled. "You're stringing me along, knowing you might just drop me for some girl mummy and daddy have picked out for you!"

"I'm not stringing you along!" Draco yelled back. "But let's face facts, this is the longest either of us have been in a relationship, it might not last, people break up every day. And while you'll just find someone else, if I've come out as being with you, with another man, no respectable pure blood family will let their daughters anywhere near me!"

"So your argument for keeping this secret is that it might not work," Harry snarled. "Even though I am telling you point blank that keeping it secret is killing me and I'm not sure how much longer I can do it!"

"So you'd just out us," Draco said, stunned. "Against my will?"

Harry felt his insides run cold. "No Draco," he said. "I'd never hurt you like that. But," he felt a lump rising in his throat. How had they got here so fast, everything was fine this morning? "I guess I'm saying I can't stay in a relationship built on lies."

Draco just looked at him, not saying anything for so long Harry could swear he felt fissures cracking in his heart.

"You're breaking up with me?" he asked in a small voice.

Harry balled his fits. "I don't want to! Fuck that's the last thing I want! But Draco I can't hide behind secrets any more, and I'm certainly not going to hang around whilst you decide whether or not this is worth it, or whether you should just go for the safe option and marry some girl you barely know!"

Draco rubbed his face and paced towards the fireplace. His distress was awful to witness, but Harry knew he was right, he couldn't pretend any more, he couldn't let himself be treated with any less respect than he deserved.

He watched Draco turn back around. "So you're giving me an ultimatum?"

"No," cried Harry, then thought about it. "Maybe, I don't know! I just know I can't carry on like this, something has to change!"

"I can't," Draco pleaded. "I can't, please don't make me."

Harry pressed his fingers to his temples. "Maybe we just need some space," he said. Perhaps that way Draco would see sense, if he had a few days to himself to see Harry's point of view.

But Draco just paled, mouth slightly parted in shock. "You are breaking up with me."

"No," Harry began, but Draco was already spinning around the table, snatching up his loafers and shoving them on his feet.

"Fine," he growled. "Fine, just bloody fine."

"Draco wait," Harry said. "Don't go, we can talk, we're too angry right now."

"Damn right I'm angry," Draco uttered, marching off to the bedroom with Harry in his wake, grabbing up his bag, throwing in whatever possessions he laid his hands on first before seizing his wand from the nightstand. "It's so fucking easy for you, you're still the golden boy, doing whatever the hell you like, no consequences."

"Easy!" Harry exploded, crossing the line he swore he never would. "Easy is sitting by and letting evil creep over you like a plague. My life has never been easy Draco Malfoy!"

Suddenly he was that boy again, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, tears running down his face, and Harry wished he could snatch the words back. But he couldn't, and with his jaw clamped tight Draco shoved past him, throwing his coat over his shoulders.

"Don't worry Potter," he sneered, striding to the apparition point in the centre of Harry's living room. "You won't have to lie any more. I won't bother you again."

And with a swift turn of the feet, he vanished into thin air, leaving Harry all alone, wondering how the hell everything had gone so wrong, so fast.