Author: alpacat

Genre: Fantasy

What I liked about this book:

There is a ton of really good worldbuilding here. I really appreciated the Jir culture and how well it was laid out, as well as the difference between them and human beings. It's clear you have a really good idea of the people you are writing about, what they're like, and what their customs are, which is commendable.

What I did NOT like about this book:

There really isn't a story here. There are only four chapters posted, but in the four I read, I couldn't find a single thread to tie them together. I understand that Amora-Tae helps with births and is also young and hasn't been to battle, but we jumped so quickly from that to them traveling to the grain stores (I think?) that it all sort of got muddled. I have a feeling this story is about her traveling to the other place that was mentioned, but the story starts in the wrong spot and is dragged out too much.

Besides that, there really aren't any good transitions. As much as this is a good culture and world, it all feels sort of generic, and that's mostly because the author keeps throwing terms at me and not defining them. I know there is a glossary up front, but if I need a glossary to understand what's going on, there isn't enough definition being done in the text.

Pull back some of your worldbuilding and give it to me slowly, and weave it in with your plot. That will make this read like an interesting fantasy novel and not like I jumped into a book halfway through the fifteenth chapter without any context of what had happened to that point.

I will say I glanced at this briefly several months ago and remember liking it less than I did this time, so that's a point.

Overall:

There's a solid idea here. The execution needs work, because I spent most of my time reading this confused.

Rating:

4/10 at the very best. I would think carefully about what you want this story to be about, and focus your writing on that instead of giving me 50 different things all at once.