Author: intothetempest

Genre: Fantasy

What I liked about this book:

Kitaya. I fucking love her and loved her even more with every word that came out of her goddamn mouth. She's strong, stubborn, independent, and doesn't put up with Aldeheid's shit. Which is good, because Aldeheid is kind of a turd, and by the end of the book, has only halfway managed to grow out of that.

Her character is really well developed. She's MUCH stronger and smarter and just overall cooler than he is, and it shows. It shows in a way that has nothing to do with the book being from his perspective and him thinking fairly poorly of himself and fairly highly of her. She's just outright better than he is at everything that could even kind of be classed as important.

His character was okay too but he annoyed me toward the beginning and I still sorta want to throw him in a lake. This isn't criticism, I say that about my own characters as well. He's a good character, he's just a twerp and some readers aren't going to like him. DON'T change this. Okay, maybe let him grow up a little more toward the end.

I appreciate that there's no real romance in this book. Yeah, there's the bonding ceremony and choosing a cape and a magician and whatnot, but no one falls head over heels in love with anyone else for no reason. This mostly has to do with the fact that the characters aren't human. It was made very clear when the text went over how magicians and capes are made that they just don't work that way, and it was nice to see a relationship between two characters that wasn't at all physical in nature, and didn't need to be.

What I did NOT like about this book:

The plot felt half-baked. Unless there's gonna be another book, I want to get through all this weakening of the veil bullshit, and although this does feel *finished*, there wasn't enough conclusion of that plotline for me. Take me through the whole thing or write another book to wrap it up instead of killing one monolith and ending the story.

The entire thing also feels a little rushed. I could do with some more interpersonal reaction, more clear character motivations, and in general just allowing the story to breathe a little bit. Let Aldeheid and Kitaya get to know each other a bit. Don't just rush me from point A to point B without stopping to smell the roses.

And along with this--stop undermining Kitaya. She's a very independent character. She's gone hundreds of years without a magician and doesn't need one. When Aldeheid shows up on her doorstep he's A, really fucking annoying, and B, sort of stalking her in a creepy way. She treats him like a harmless idiot which is fair because he is one, but she had NO compelling reason to ask him to come with her on her trip to wherever.

There were so many opportunities for one too. Maybe she feels sorry for him, like a kicked puppy. That's definitely something she'd do, but make it clear to the reader that she's doing it. Maybe he's hurt and she needs to get out of dodge. I don't care what the reason is but come up with a better one than 'he's the main character and there'.

Same for the cape trial at the end, and honestly this probably had to do with the entire book feeling a little rushed. Give her room to stop disliking him, because it's clear in the beginning she does, then she just sorta stops for no reason.

Basically, ease off the goddamn gas and let your story grow some roots because this is a really good story you're strangling by putting it in a really tiny container.

Overall:

This was pretty entertaining and WAY too freaking short. Don't add five chapters, add like, a third to a half as many as you have and this will be a much better book.

Rating:

6/10. This could be fucking fantastic with the right improvements though, and I do suggest it as a read.