**WARNING: LONG and discusses some trigger topics such as domestic violence**

Author: wendizzy

Genre: Romance

What I liked about this book:

Jessie is an extremely well thought out female lead. She has a painful history she does not let control her, she belongs to no one, and she's trying her best to rectify the terrible mistakes she's made in her past. She's kickass. I love her. Her brain doesn't turn to mush the minute the hot male lead shows up, and she's got street smarts and strength anyone should envy.

Now, Jessie isn't perfect. She's closed off, not very responsible, needs a fuckton of therapy, and has an alcohol problem. But she's a well developed character.

In fact, the development of both leads is done rather well, but we'll get to that in a second.

The writing in the book was for the most part very readable and engaging. I've had pneumonia and finished this in an evening as a break from other more important things.

What I did NOT like about this book:

I do not like Bard.

It's not even that I don't like him as a character, or that I don't like his development. It's that I don't like him with Jessie.

I tried very hard to like Bard. For a while, like I was supposed to, I tried to excuse some of his behaviors as 'well he doesn't know her' and 'maybe he'll improve'. That did happen to some degree, but not enough. To help break down why, have a link to Heathyplace's list of abuse warning signs:

https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/articles/list-of-abusive-behaviors/

Since Wattpad won't let you copypasta the link I'm gonna be helpful and do a little breakdown. I am going to bold the points we're interested in.

Does your partner:

hit, punch, slap, shove, or bite you?

threaten to hurt you or your children?

threaten to hurt friends or family members?

have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?

In the first couple chapters where Bard is introduced, he punches a wall with his fist. He also throws things around the mobile home he and Jessie share after she runs away. He does several other very scary things, like grabbing her and shouting. Toward the end of the book, he admits he knows this is a problem for him.

behave in an overprotective manner?

Bard does not allow Jessie to go by herself to the homeless shelter she's been staying in to give food to a friend because it's not safe. This concludes in him physically chasing her to the homeless shelter while she tries to get away from him. This is not the only example.

become jealous without reason?

Bard demands two other male characters stay away from Jessie, even before they start dating. One of these characters was never anything more than a friend.

prevent you from seeing family or friends?

prevent you from going where you want, when you want?

See point five.

prevent you from working or attending school?

destroy personal property or sentimental items?deny you access to family assets, such as bank accounts, credit cards, or even the car?

control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?

force you to have sex against your will?

force you to engage in sexual acts you do not enjoy?

insult you or call you derogatory names?

This is probably excusable because they weren't dating at the time and got in a fight, but I'm putting it down anyway. For the record Jessie is also super guilty of this.

use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children?

Bard often shuts down and stops talking when Jessie does not do what he wants. He becomes cold and distant with her to the point where she actually comments on this several times. He also at several points grabs her and gets in her face.

humiliate you in front of your children?

turn minor incidents into major arguments?

This is actually something Jessie is guilty of doing as well, see: Amber. She's a female friend that Bard has that spouts many pointless arguments throughout the books.

abuse or threaten to abuse pets?

So that leaves us with seven checklist items out of nineteen. According to the source, one checklist item is enough to be a red flag for abuse. And that's why I cannot like Bard, as much as i wanted to and tried to: He himself is an abuser.

Jessie herself has some unhealthy behaviors as well, but that's another discussion. The book is also being told from her point of view, so she's easier to like. Point is it's not a very healthy romance.

He's not as bad as Jessie's ex--hell, who could be--but this reads like a woman who has bad relationship patterns (COMPLETELY understandable with her history) picking yet another inappropriate partner. And while this is a fascinating character study, I can't really root for the romance.

There were some hitchy points with the writing in some spots but I marked them for the author. They were all minor. Honestly my biggest complaint is Bard.

Overall:

The book itself was very entertaining. I don't like the male lead, which is a problem in a romance novel.

Rating:

6/10. I enjoyed reading it far more than I normally would enjoy reading a 6/10 (I read it all in a day), but I can't rank it any higher with the glaring problems I have with the romance arc in it. If it were listed under lit and/or was a little more self aware it would have gotten a nine.