Author: spicy_sweets

Genre: Horror/Short story

What I liked about this book:

The prose here is very good. It's got a good flow to it, and it really gives you a feel for the little girl. The contrast between her thoughts as a child and her thoughts of ripping up her toys is pretty unsettling, because they are so obviously real to her. I'd peg this as a normal 'child playing with dolls' thing, but she seems to think they have souls, and tears them up anyway. 

The last part of this was pretty chilling, with them stuffing her into a life-sized doll, and it cut off at a point that let me leave the rest to my imagination. It was sufficiently creepy without ever needing to actually be graphic.

What I did NOT like about this book:

The pacing was a little weird. I wish there was more about the ball. The story committed one of my top pet peeves, which is 'talking about the fact that a conversation happened, but not actually showing the conversation'.  I would have much preferred this chapter to be longer (or possibly even two), or for it to be structured differently.

It's also trying a little too hard to be edgy. It hasn't *quite* tipped over that edge, but it's uncomfortably close.

Overall:

Decent horror. Could use a rewrite and some minor improvements. For a short story, it needs some pacing changes, but overall it works.

Rating: 

7/10. I would be interested in seeing the next draft of this.