-April Grace-

(When she was with her mother)

Slight sexual content/attack

Why she doesn't like her mother:

I woke up and mama was pulling my hair. "For goodness' sake, April! Get the hell up!" She didn't smell very nice and her pretty makeup wasn't nice anymore. It was messy and smeared across her face. She must of slept like that again.

Mama was sleeping over at grandma's again. Me and grandma didn't like it when she slept over. She always talked funny after drinking lots of bottles of wee looking liquid and brought people over that grandma didn't like.

It was nice and quiet when it was just me and grandma. We played lots of games and grandma always read me bedtime stories. Mama didn't.

She liked to stay awake for ages with her 'friends' and make lots of noise in her bedroom. Grandma says they're just playing games but I feel like she's lying.

Grandma says that mama shows her body off too much and looks like a slut but I don't know what that means. She then apologised and told me not to think bad of mama, that mama loved me and just didn't always show it.

Mama never says nice things too me. She's always talking funny and holding a bottle in her hand.

Night time is the worst!

Mama makes too much noise and parties all night with her friends. She's not nice to grandma and calls her names when grandma threatens to call the police. She never does.

Mama is pretty but she always ruins her makeup by drinking and being rude. I don't know why mama is like that. She doesn't seem to like me I think.

She pours some liquid from her bottle on me. I shrieked. It was so cold!

"Ya grandma's gone to work, so you're stuck with me. I don't want you in my way so you're going to be a good little girl and go sit your arse on the couch!" I hated how she sounded. It was sickly sweet yet horrible at the same time.

I nodded, "yes mama," before going into the living room and sitting on the couch in my pink pyjamas.

The house was a mess. There were lots and lots of glass bottles around the house and red plastic cups. The radio was broken and one of the windows were smashed. There was a foul smell in the air and at the corner, there was a pile of vomit.

I didn't like sitting in here but I didn't want to anger mama. She gets really angry sometimes and smacks me hard with her sharp nails. Whenever there's a mark, she persuades daddy to keep me with her longer so the bruise will heal. She doesn't ever tell him what she does to me and yells at me not to tell anyone. I don't.

She stumbled into the room, switching on the television to put on some baby cartoons. I don't like baby stuff. I like Mickey Mouse and the Looney Tunes. Ooh, and Larva, but daddy doesn't let me watch it. I love Spongebob. .and Doc Mcstuffins! Ooh, and Oddbods!

Sorry . .babbling.

Baby cartoons are slow and don't make any sounds. Mama thinks I'm a baby and I'm not! I'm a big girl!

"Mama," I said quietly, as she leaned against the doorway, drinking. "I don't like this. Can I watch Oddbods?" She scoffed, giving me a mean look. "Can I watch Oddbods?" She mimicked, her voice high pitched and tiny. I didn't like it when she did that. It always hurts my feelings.

"No, you annoying brat! You get what you're given, now stay here. I'm going out!" With those words said, she stormed out the house, slamming the door behind her.

I looked around. Mama burned all my toys the other night because I wasn't being good. I didn't have anything to play with.

I walked into the kitchen, going over piles of junk before finally reaching there. I looked into the fridge. I was really hungry. I didn't have any dinner last night because mama said I was getting too fat.

There wasn't much food, it was all taken at the party. I picked up some leftover biscuits and ate them quickly. I hiccuped afterwards. Great.

I stood on my tippy toes and turned on the taps, cupping my hands and sipping some water. Mmm, some good stuff. Nice and cold.

The door then opened and nonna {grandma} came in, exhausted. She had her long black coat on and her hair was wet. It was raining again. She gave me a weak smile. Mama looked like nonna but she said she didn't, which was lie, something daddy told me never to do.

Nonna had grey hair and was wrinkly from stress. She always wore a dress and a cardigan and loved to play scrabble. She was a typical grandma except she had a crazy daughter in her life.

"Hello, April. Did you have a nice sleep?" Grandma was always nice. She was never mean with me and never yelled I unlike mama.

I nodded and she frowned, bending down, groaning as she picked me up and led me into the living room only to groan once more.

She placed me on the sofa, pushing away a few cans. "Your mama has made a big mess this time." I nodded, sucking my bottom lip. She sighed, "don't be sad, April."

I started crying and she tutted, coming over and cuddling me. "Don't be upset, mi nopote." {my granddaughter}. I stopped as she wiped my tears.

I didn't like being sad but I couldn't help it. I didn't like being here, I didn't like mama being mean to grandma. This was grandma's home. It was beautiful and great for an old woman. I hated how she was treated like dirt. Grandma was too kind and never properly yelled at mama. Mama deserved to be yelled at.

I didn't like mama and secretly called her names in my head. Don't tell anyone!

Nonna said that she named mama 'Bianca' because of the colour white - the meaning of her name. White signified pure, that's why she named my mama that. Mama is far from pure. She's evil!

"Come on, help nonna clean this mess up."

It took us a while but we managed to clean the house up a little. Grandma got me changed and took me to the park where I played by myself for a while as she watched me from a bench. I noticed that she dozed off a little but woke up not long after. She was tired so I told her that we should go home where she went to sleep and I watched television.

She woke up looking better and made me food and we ate together happily and quietly. We played a puzzle together and grandma told me some stories as we sat in the living room. I loved being around my nonna. It seemed that she was the only one who cared sometimes.

Papa loves me - I know that. It's just sometimes he works too much and isn't there to say goodnight. I know that he sometimes comes and kisses me when he thinks I'm asleep but it isn't enough. I usually stay with aunty Valentina and uncle Dante. They're very funny.

My cousins are really nice and they're my best friends. We go to school together and I love my little baby cousin Matteo. Aunt Val lets me hold him sometimes if I'm sat properly on the chair. She had to watch me though, just to make sure I'm holding him right or that I don't drop him. I understand, I'm a bit clumsy sometimes.

I love the new lady that daddy seems to like. Daddy says that he used to be with her but he hurt her so she left when I was a baby. I told him off and he laughed! I don't know why. Papa tells me everything and doesn't usually lie. At least I think.

I want the new lady to be my mama. She's nice and loves me. She's so pretty as well! I think her name is Mia. She's lovely. I want daddy and her to be together, then we could be a little family. Ooh, I could have a little brother or sister! I love babies. Daddy dropped the baby when we were playing dolls. I still haven't forgiven him for that.

Anyway, I went upstairs in my room to play with some dolls that nonna had brought me from work. I loved them already. I couldn't to go home with papa. I had more freedom there and didn't feel scared constantly. I didn't like leaving nonna but I wanted to be happy as selfish as that sounds.

Unexpectedly, I heard the sound of the door opening loudly and music being played loudly. I sighed.

Party again.

Cheers and whooping were heard and something smashing. I quickly ran into grandma's room where she was sat on the edge of her bed sighing. "Nonna," I whispered, placing her hand against her cheek. She smiled weakly, holding my small hand. "You're such a good girl, April," she said kindly. "Don't be like your mother." I nodded, listening carefully. When I grow up, I was going to be nothing like my mama.

She cradled me and I drifted asleep in her warm arms.

I woke up hearing the sound of yelling right beside me. My eyes fluttered open. I was under nonna's covers in her bed.

Mama was standing in front of grandma, practically screaming at her. "Bianca! Please stop yelling you'll wake - oh dear." Nonna noticed I was awake and sighed.

"I'm not going to stop yelling! I'm telling you to let me get my fucking daughter so move hell out my way!"

"Mama, stop shouting!" I courageously said, sitting up. She scowled at me, "shut up, slut!" My bottom lip quivered as I attempted not to cry. Like I said, I didn't like being called names.

Nonna stood protectively in front of me. "Where are you going to take her?" Mother rolled her eyes, glaring at grandma, "it's none of your business. She's mine, not yours!"

"Bianca," grandma said, warningly.

"One of my friends want to have a look at her, that's all, stop being so dramatic."

My eyes widened as did nonna's. I didn't want to meet any of mama's friends. I guessed they were all like her, I didn't even want to see them.

"You are not going to take her anywhere, Bianca!"

"I'll take her wherever the fuck I want!"

She went to grab my arm but I shuffled away, "I wanna stay here, ma!"

"Don't be such a brat, April!"

"Leave her alone - leave us alone, Bianca! Take your 'friends' and go!" Nonna yelled for the first time.

Mama scoffed, glancing between me and grandma. She stormed out the room.

Nonna sighed, pulling me to her chest and hugging me. "I hope she leaves and never comes back." I nodded, agreeing.

"I love you, nonna."

She smiled softly, "I love you too, mi nopote,"

Those were the last words I ever said to my lovely grandmother.

A group of men wearing black masks bursted into the room. I screamed as they grabbed me and pulled me away from nonna, dragging her out the room as she shrieked.

"Nonna!" I screamed over and over again, thrashing around in the man's arms. He dropped my on the floor and I ran out the room, passing drunken people and dodging obstacles of trash as I looked around, screaming 'nonna'.

Someone picked me up and I screamed even more, my throat hurting. I was taken to my room where I was thrown onto my bed. My mother grabbed the duvet and forced me under it, slapping me hard and telling me to shut up as I sobbed. "Mama! Where's nonna!" She rolled her eyes, attempting to shove me down further onto the bed.

"You won't be seeing your precious 'nonna' again so shut the hell up and sleep. Urgh. .if you weren't such a brat I wouldn't of hit you. .now you have to stay with me longer so your dad doesn't find out." I cried as she hit me again, yelling at me to stay in bed and go to sleep.

I sobbed quietly in my bed, trying to go to sleep. I was worried about nonna. What had they done to her? Was she alright? Was I going to see her again?

I hated mama. I wanted her to leave and never return. I wanted my nonna back. I wish Mia was my mama and papa and her were together. I wish I had another little baby sibling that I could play with and my cousins could come over and play as well. I wish I lived in a nice house with lots of grass where I could play tag all day with Mia. I wish she was the one to kiss me goodnight with daddy. I wish I could wake up every morning and have pancakes for breakfast.

I wanted to be normal.

I started to fall asleep.

In the middle of drifting away, I heard my door creak open in the dark. Someone stumbled towards me. My face creased as I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Why are you crying little girl?"

I whimpered, moving away as he sat on the edge of the bed. He was tall and wore black jeans and a blue shirt.
His hand crept to my leg, resting his hand on it as he stared at me with his blue eyes.

"Go away!"

He chuckled. "That's not very nice."

I sucked my bottom lip. I didn't care about being nice. "Where's my nonna?" He shrugged, looking around the room. "I don't know."

"How about we play a game." I didn't reply so he continued, "it will help you feel better." I still didn't reply.

"Close your eyes." I did as I was told and he pulled the duvet away from me, making me feel cold. "Don't open them."

I felt him pull my trousers down. "What are you doing?" I asked but he hushed me, his fingers down my knickers. I felt a sharp pain in me and I screamed, jolting away and opening my eyes. "Go away!" I pulled up my trousers and ran out of my bed only to be grabbed and thrown onto my bed as I cried.

"Mama!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as he shoved me down on the bed.

The door bursted on, "What the?"

The horrible man went off me, pushing past my mother. She glared at me before running after him yelling, "Danny!"

I shivered, crawling back into my bed, curling up into a ball under the duvet as hot tears streamed down my face.

Not long after, my mother came in, her usual scowl on her face. She ripped the duvet away from me. "You scheming home wrecker! You took my man away from me, whore!" She slapped me and I screamed, crying even more. I didn't understand. What had I done wrong?

She cracked her fingers before throwing a punch at me.

I blacked out.

___

Poor April!

I wrote this because these things do happen to little kids out there  and it's not okay or fair.

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