AZIEL LUKE

The morning light, usually a welcome sight, felt like a physical blow to my head. It pulsed in time with the relentless thrumming behind my eyes, a dull ache that mirrored the dread gnawing at my gut. Five months. That was all the doctor had given me. Five months to live.

Ashleigh stirred beside me, her soft snores punctuated by the gentle rise and fall of her chest. Her hair, a cascade of auburn, framed her peaceful face, the delicate line of her jaw softened by sleep. I traced the curve of her cheek with my finger, a silent prayer escaping my lips. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving her, of leaving our baby boy, our newborn.

There was a sweet, milky scent in the air, the scent of new life. My son, nestled beside his mother, was a whirlwind of tiny limbs and gurgling sounds. I leaned in, my heart aching with a bittersweet love. I watched him, his perfect little features, his tiny fists clenching and unclenching. He was everything to me.

"Aziel?" Ashleigh's voice, soft as a whisper, broke through my reverie. She was dreaming and saying my name.

I forced a smile, ignoring the stabbing pain that shot through my head. "I'm sorry, mahal na mahal kita, Ashleigh," I mumbled, my voice rough.

Bumangon ako at hinalikan ang anak namin. Mas sumakit pa lalo ang aking ulo. Mabilis akong lumabas ng kwarto at namimilipit sa sakit. Nang tuluyan akong nakalabas ng ospital kahit sobrang sakit ng aking ulo ay kinuha ko ang aking cellphone sa bulsa para tawagin si Asher.

"Asher, puntahan mo ako rito sa labas ng ospital bilis." sabay daing ko dahil sa sobrang sakit.

Hindi nagsalita pa si Asher at namatay ang tawag. Napaupo ako sa hagdan hawak-hawak ang aking ulo. Sobrang sakit para mabibiyak sa sobrang sakit.

May humintong sasakyan sa harapan ko at bumaba ang windshield. "Aziel!" tawag niya sa akin at mabilis na bumaba ng sasakyan.

"What's wrong with you!" pasigaw niyang tanong sa akin.

"I think my time is up." nanghihinang sabi ko sa kanya.

"Ano ang ibig mong sabihin? Hindi ka pwedeng mawala! Marami pa kaming nagmamahal sayo at hindi mo kami dapat iwan!" matigas na sabi ng kapatid ko sa akin.

Agad niya akong inalalayan papasok sa sasakyan. "Nanghihina na ako." bulong ko kay Asher.

"Dalhin kita sa Cagayan de Oro, baka may neurosurgeon sila roon para ma-operahan ka." natatarantang sabi ni Asher at mabilis niyang pinaandar ang sasakyan.

"Just bring me to your house." mahinang sabi ko.

"Bu-" hindi niya natuloy ang kaniyang sasabihin dahil pinutol ko ito agad. "Please, I want to rest." sinabutan ni Asher ang kaniyang buhok at mabilis na nagmamaneho. Napangiti ako sa ginawa niya sa kaniyang sarili.

Pagdating namin sa bahay ay, hindi na masyadong masakit ang aking ulo. Umakyat ako sa taas at pumasok sa aking kwarto. Kinuha ko agad ang luma kong cellphone sa aking maleta, pumunta ako sa camera tsaka cli-nick ang video. Ipwenesto ko ang aking cellphone.

I took a deep breath before saying anything in the camera.

“Ashleigh, my sweetie,” I began, my gaze fixed on the camera, “I know this is hard to hear, but I need you to know. I’ve been diagnosed with a brain tumor. It’s aggressive, and the doctors say I have… five months left.”

Pinipigilan ko ang aking mga luhang dumaloy sa aking pisngi.

I continued, my voice betraying a flicker of despair, “I wanted to tell you myself, but I was afraid. Afraid of your reaction, afraid of how this would change everything. But I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you with unanswered questions, of leaving you with unspoken words.”

“Sweetie, pasensya dahil bigla akong umalis at hindi nagpapaalam sayo at sa anak natin. Ayaw kong maging pabigat pa lalo sa ’yo. Basta ang importante ay masaya akong umalis dahil nakita ko ang anak natin at masaya tayo sa sandaling iyon.” gumalaw ang aking balikat pero pinipigilan ko pa rin ang aking sarili na hindi umiiyak. Ayaw ko na kapag makita niya ang video na ito ay, umiiyak ako. Ayaw kong pati siya manghihina na rin.

“Ashleigh, my sweetie I love you,” I whispered, my eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “More than words can say. I always have, and I always will. I’m sorry for living you.” I smiled as I ended the video.

Huminga ako ng malalim. At hinawakan ang cellphone. Bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si Asher.

“May nahanap na akong neurosurgeon...” agad na sabi niya sa akin nang tuluyan siyang nakapasok.

“Asher, pwede ba ibigay mo ito sa kapatid ni Ashleigh na si Miguel?” tanong ko at inabot sa kaniya ang hawak kong cellphone.

“Why? Bakit sa kapatid pa niya e, pwede namang kay Tita Helen ko ibibigay?” kontra ni Asher sa sinabi ko.

“Just do it...for me.” mahinang sabi ko na nakatingin sa kaniya. Hindi na siya umalma pa at kinuha sa akin ang aking cellphone.

“Aalis na ako mamayang hapon, babalik na ako ng maynila dahil pupunta ako ng US,para roon magpa-opera.” ngumiti ako sa kaniya.
Lumiwanag ang kaniyang mukha at lumapit sa akin.

“Best decision you ever made.” asar niya sa akin at ngumiti lang ako.

“Bantayan mo ang mag-ina ko, dahil babalik ako at magpapakasal kami.” utos ko sa kaniya at ngumiti naman ito sa akin at sumaludo pa.

Manila was my first stop on the extraordinary odyssey. There, I would undergo rigorous medical examinations before embarking on the long flight to the United States, where cutting-edge surgery awaited me. With each step closer to my departure, a mix of emotions washed over me. Fear gnawed at my heart, but love for my son propelled me forward.

“Mag-ingat ka roon, bro. Huwag kang mag-alala ipagdarasal kita na sana maging successful ang operation mo sa US.” sabi ni Asher sa akin at ngumiti lang ako sa kanya.

“Huwag mo silang pababayaan ha? Ikaw ang hahanapin ko sa aking pagbabalik.” sabi ko at tumawa naman siya. Pumasok na ako sa departure area ng airport.

********

As the day of my flight drew near, a profound sense of gratitude filled on my soul. I thanked my loving Ashleigh for giving me a reason why would I do this , and my newborn son for giving me a reason to hope.

Sa mabigat na puso at kislap ng pag-asa sa aking mga mata, sumakay ako sa eroplano patungong Estados Unidos. Habang umaangat ang mga gulong mula sa tarmac, natanaw ko sa bintana ang lumiliit na tanawin ng Pilipinas sa ibaba. Ito ay isang mapait na pamamaalam sa bansang aking sinilangan, ngunit isang patunay din sa hindi pangkaraniwang mga haba na handa kong gawin para sa isang pagkakataon sa hinaharap.

After sixteen hours and forty-four minutes the Airplane landed in US. Ito na ang simula at alam kong kakayanin ko ito.

********

Kinabukasan ay maaga akong pumunta sa ospital ng Neurology and Neurosurgery Hospitals.

Sa sterile confines ng American hospital, sumailalim ako sa serye ng mga pagsusuri at konsultasyon. Kinumpirma ng diagnosis ang pagkakaroon ng tumor, ngunit nagbigay din sa akin ng isang kislap ng optimismo. Ang mga surgeon ay nagtitiwala na maaari nilang alisin ang karamihan sa masa, na nagbibigay sa akin ng pagkakataong lumaban laban sa walang humpay na sakit na ito.

On the morning of the surgery, I was filled with both trepidation and an unyielding determination. As I was wheeled into the operating room, I think the face of my son in my head and heart. He was the reason why I had to survive.

When I awoke, the surgery was complete. The tumor had been successfully removed, leaving me with a renewed sense of purpose and a profound appreciation for the fragility of life.

The road to recovery was long and arduous, but my love for my family gave me the strength to persevere. With every step I took, I thought of my son, the little boy who had given me a reason to fight for my life.

Tumunog ang aking cellphone agad ko itong tiningnan kung sino. It was my brother Asher sending me a picture of my son on his christening day. Tumulo ang aking luha hindi dahil sa lungkot kundi dahil sa sobrang saya dahil makakasama ko na sila ng matagal.

I booked a flight going back to the Philippines. As I returned home to the Philippines, a changed man. The tumor had been a devastating blow, but it had also ignited within me a newfound determination to live each day to the fullest. I became a beacon of hope for others who faced similar challenges, sharing my story and inspiring them to never give up.

As the plane touched down at Ninoy Aquino International Airport, a wide grin spread across my face. After years of being away, I was finally back in my beloved Philippines.

Pagbaba ko, bumalot sa akin ang mainit na tropikal na hangin, dala ang pamilyar na amoy ng jasmine at mangga. Huminga ako ng malalim, ninanamnam ang sandaling iyon. Ang mataong paliparan ay isang pugad ng aktibidad, na may mga tao mula sa lahat ng antas ng pamumuhay na nagmamadali. I felt a sense of belonging as I navigated the crowd towards the arrivals gate.

I had come home for many reasons. I missed my family and most especially my son and Ashleigh.

My luggage finally arrived, and I wheeled it out of the airport. As I stepped onto Philippine soil, a surge of excitement and determination coursed through me. I had a long road ahead of me.

Nahagip ng mata ko si Asher na kumakaway sa akin. Ngumiti ako at niyakap siya ng mahigpit. “Long time no see, bro!”

“Welcome back!” masayang bati ni Asher sa kaniya.

“Naghihintay na sila Mommy at Daddy, ’tsaka ang mga kapatid natin. Hindi nila alam na uuwi ka at hindi nila alam na pumunta ka ng US para magpa-opera.” nginitian ko si Asher at sabay kaming nagtungo sa kaniyang sasakyan at nilagay ko ang aking mga gamit.

Mabilis na nagmamaneho si Asher papunta sa aming bahay. Pagkarating namin agad akong bumaba at pumasok sa loob.

“Mom, Dad!” tawag ko kina Mommy at Daddy.

Tumakbo papunta sa akin si Mommy at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. “Kumusta na kayo?” tanong ko.

“Thanks God, your back. Akala namin hindi ka na namin makikita.” umiiyak na sabi ni Mommy sa akin.

“Mahabang estorya, Mommy basta ang mahalaga nandito na ako at magkakasama na tayong lahat muli.” masayang saad ko.

“KAMBAL!” masayang tawag ni Adler sa akin at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.

“Akala ko iiwan mo na ako. Akala ko hindi ka na babalik. Namimiss kita ng sobra.” gumagaralgal ang kaniyang boses at nagsimula ng mabasa ang aking damit.

“Umiiyak ka ba?” natatawang tanong ko. “Hindi ah! Sinisipon lang ako!” bumitiw ito sa pagyakap at itinulak ako.

Ikwenento ko sa kanila kung bakit ako nawala bigla at hindi man lang nagpapaalam. Nang nalaman nila ang aking dahilan ay naiintindihan nila ako at masaya sila sa aking pagbabalik.

Binalot ng katahimikan ang paligid, nagpakawala ako ng malakas na buntong hininga. Tumayo ako sa harap ng aking mga magulang, ang aking puso ay tumibok sa pananabik. Sa nanginginig kong mga kamay, hawak ko ang isang maliit na velvet box, ang laman nito ay isang patunay ng aking hindi natitinag na pagmamahal kay Ashleigh.

“Dad, Mom,” I began, my voice a whisper, “I have something important to ask.”

My parents exchanged worried glances. “What is it, my dear, Aziel?” my mother inquired.

Mustering my courage, I knelt and presented the box. “I’ve come to ask for your blessing to marry Ashleigh.”

My parents gasped, their eyes filled with tears of joy. “Of course, Aziel!” my father exclaimed. “We couldn’t be more proud.”

My mother embraced me tightly. “I’ve always dreamed of this day,” she whispered to me.

I approached my brothers, Aziel, Adler, Alaric and Alex. “My bros,” I said, “I need your help.”

They grinned conspiratorially. “Anything for you, Az.”

I shared my plan to surprise Ashleigh with a wedding, not at some grand venue.

“Finally!” masayang sigaw ni Adler. May namumuong luha sa gilid ng mata niya.

“Why are you crying?” asar ni Alex kay Adler.

“I’m not crying! Ang umiiyak ’yung lumabas ang mga luha. Teary eye lang ako!” he denied.

“Sabi mo e,” natatawang saad ni Alaric.

“I’ll handle the music,” Alex offered.

“And I’ll get the decorations,” Alaric added.

“Ako na sa venue at iba pang mga kailangan.” my twin brother Adler presented.

“Ako na sa photographer/videographer at ako na bahala sa susuotin ni Ashleigh pati na rin sa kanya.” presentar naman ng aking Kuya na si Asher.

My heart swelled with gratitude. “Thank you, guys! Thank you so much!” pasasalamat ko sa kanilang apat.

Kinuha ko ang dala kong mga gamit at lumabas ng mansyon.

“Saan ka pupunta?” tanong ni Mommy sa akin.

“Pupunta akong, Mindanao sa Pagadian City. Upang hingin ang basbas ni Tita Helen sa pagpapakasal ko kay Ashleigh.

“Doon ba sa Mindanao ang kasal, Aziel?” tanong ni Daddy sa akin.

“Yes, dad.” sagot ko.

“Kung ganun...ako na bahala sa chopper para masakyan ng mga taong mag-organize ng kasal ninyo.” dugtong ni Daddy at lalo akong natuwa at gayundin din ang aking mga kapatid.

“Thank you, Dad.” niyakap ko si Daddy at pagkatapos umalis.

I made my way to airport, nandito na ako sa loob ng eroplano. Ngumiti ako at sobrang excited, finally makikita ko na sila at mayakap.

As the airplane landed at Pagadian City Airport, my heart beats faster. Hindi ko maipapaliwanag ang aking nararamdaman.

I made my way to Ashleigh’s home and spoke with her mother, Mrs. Salvador. Pagdating ko ay agad kong pinindot ang doorbell ng kanilang gate.

Bumukas ang gate at bumungad sa akin si Tita karga ang anak ko.

“Aziel!” gulat niyang tawag sa akin. “Salamat sa Diyos at bumalik ka.” mangiyak-ngiyak niyang sabi.

“Anak!” kinuha ko ang aking anak kay Tita. Agad naman siyang nagpakarga sa akin at nilalaro ang aking ilong tapos tinititigan niya ako at ngumiti.

Natunaw ang aking puso sa kaniyang mga ngiti. Tumulo ang luha ko.

“Nandito na ako, anak hindi na tayo maghihiwalay pa.” sabi ko sa kaniya at hinalikan siya. Ngumiti ulit siya sa akin.

“Pasok tayo sa loob, doon na tayo mag-uusap.” sabi ni Tita at pumasok naman ako.

“Ano ba ’yang sadya mo? Wala rito si Ashleigh, pumasok sa trabaho.” sabi niya sa akin.

“Nais ko sanang hilingin sa inyo ang kamay ni Ashleigh upang aking pakasalan, Tita,”I said nervously.

Tumulo ang luha ni Tita at ngumiti.
“Hindi na kailangan dahil matagal na akong pumapayag sa inyong dalawa.”

My eyes lit up. “Maraming salamat, Tita.” I said. “Surprise wedding po ito, Tita at hindi niya dapat malalaman na nandito na ako.”

Tita chuckled. “Oo, naman, Aziel. Pero alam mo ba na palagi siyang umaasa na babalik ka para sa anak ninyo. Mahal na mahal ka ng anak ko, Aziel. Kaya sobrang saya ko at bumalik ka tapos papakasalan mo na sa wakas si Ashleigh.” tumulo muli ang luha ni Tita.

Overwhelmed with excitement and anticipation, I book a room in Mardale Hotel para doon matutulog dahil hindi pwedeng makita niya ako, knowing that the most important day of our life was just around the corner. Tomorrow, I would finally make Ashleigh my wife, and I couldn't wait to share the rest of my life with the woman and my son who had captured my heart.

********

After three days of frantic preparation. Three days of hushed whispers, frantic phone calls, and the constant problems. Three days of meticulously crafted plans, each detail carefully hidden.

Now, as I stood concealed behind all my brothers, Asher, Alaric, Adler and Alex broad back, my heart hammered a frantic rhythm against my ribs. The air was thick with anticipation, the aroma of lilies and lavender heavy and sweet. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath, willing myself to relax. I’d never felt this nervous before, not even on the day of my first solo flight.

A soft gasp, then a choked sob. My eyes flew open, catching a glimpse of Ashleigh’s eyes as she walked towards the aisle. The fabric of her dress, a breathtaking swirl of ivory and lace, flowed around her like a silken dream. My breath hitched. She was even more beautiful than I’d imagined, and the sight of her alone, walking towards the the altar, sent a wave of protectiveness crashing over me.

“She looks amazing, doesn’t she?” my twin brother Adler’s voice rumbled in my ear, his hand resting reassuringly on my shoulder.

“She’s… she’s perfect,” I managed, my voice barely a whisper.

I focused on the eyes of Ashleigh her long, fiery hair cascading down her back, a single strand escaping to brush against her cheek. She looked serene, but I knew the turmoil brewing within her.

Nagbago ang musika, isang mabagal, nakakaantig na himig na pumuno sa hangin ng damdamin. Ang tunog ng kanyang mga yabag ay umaalog, ang kanyang ulo ay nakaangat. Halos ramdam ko ang kanyang mga mata na naghahanap sa silid, ang kanyang noo ay nakakunot sa pagkalito. Bumungad sa kanya ang realisasyon, at ang kanyang mukha, na kanina pa ay napakatahimik, ay napalitan ng halo ng pagkabigla at pagkalito.

My heart lurched. The entire plan, this intricate web of lies and deception, hung precariously in the balance. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt in her eyes, the disappointment that threatened to overwhelm her.

“Ashleigh,” I said, stepping out from behind my brothers.

She froze, her eyes widening. I could see the tears welling up, the fear evident in the way she clutched the bouquet in her trembling hand.

“Aziel? What… what’s going on?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

I tried to smile, but the effort felt forced. “Hindi ka ba masaya na bumalik ako?”

Tumulo ang kaniyang luha, her eyes still wide with bewilderment. “Masaya ako, sobrang saya ko pero bakit sa ganitong paraan pa tayo magkikita?.” tanong niya na umiiyak.

I took a step towards her, my heart pounding. “Ashleigh, I love you. More than words can express. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Humarap ako sa altar at ngumiti tapos tumingin sa kaniya. “Will you marry me?” I asked, my voice thick with emotion.

She stared at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. Then, a slow smile spread across her face, a spark of recognition flickering in her eyes. “Yes, Aziel,” she whispered. “Yes, I will.”

Through tear-stained cheeks, Ashleigh’s voice trembled as she uttered her vows: “Aziel, from the moment our eyes met, I knew that our love was destined. Your unwavering love to me and unwavering belief in me have made me the woman I am today. I promise to cherish you, to stand by your side through life’s triumphs and tribulations, and to love you with a fervor that burns brighter than any star.” she put the ring on my middle finger and smiled.

As I spoke, my voice choked with emotion, “Ashleigh, sweetie, my love, my soulmate, there is no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with. I left you not because I didn't love you, but because I was facing a life-threatening operation that could have ended my chance of being with you forever.”

A gasp rippled through the gathered guests as my words hung in the air. I can see in her face that she realized the sacrifice I had made for her. Tears streamed down her face as she whispered, “Aziel.”

I gently squeezed her hand, my thumb tracing circles on her palm. “It’s okay, sweetie,” I whispered, my voice a soothing balm to her nerves.

“I never thought I would find someone like you my sweetie. You are the light that shines through the darkness, the reason I believe in love again.”

A tear escaped her eye, tracing a path down her cheek. “I was lost. You saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. You gave me hope when I had none. You made me realized my mistakes.”

“You have taught me what it truly means to love,” I said, my voice catching, “You have shown me the strength I never knew I possessed. And I promise to love you with every fiber of my being, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.”

As I finished my vows, Ashleigh let out a soft, choked sob. The tears streamed down her face, a testament to the depth of her love to me.

I saw our parents and even my brothers, were moved to tears as well, touched by the raw and honest emotion I poured into my vows. It was a display of love that transcended words, a love that was as fierce as it was tender, as enduring as it was passionate.

I continued my voice filled with deep emotion. “I promise to be your partner, your confidant, your biggest supporter. I promise to stand by you, to love you, and I promise not to hurt you again, I will cherish you, for as long as I live.”

Nagpalakpakan ang mga tao, malakas na hiyawan ang umalingawngaw sa amin, ipinagdiriwang ang pag-ibig na nagbuklod sa aming dalawa. Habang ang mga luhang naibuhos namin ay hindi luha ng kalungkutan, kundi luha ng saya, luha ng pagmamahal, luha na nagpapatunay sa lalim ng aming pangako sa isa’t isa.

With trembling hands, I reached into my pocket and retrieved a small, silver box. Opening it, I revealed a single, shimmering diamond ring which I bought in the US when I am there for operation. “Ashleigh, this ring is a symbol of my love and a promise that I will always be there for you, no matter what.”

And in that moment, as I slipped the ring onto her finger, I knew that all the lies, all the sleepless nights, all the mistakes I made, all the anxiety were worth it. I’d given her the most beautiful surprise of her life, a surprise that would bind us together forever. It was the beginning of our happily ever after, a moment that would forever be etched in my memory, a moment that would forever be ours.

********

Ang larawan, na nakasabit sa dingding, isang patunay sa mga nagmamadaling kamay na minsang naglagay doon. Bahagyang yumuko ang aming frame, inabot ko ito gamit ang aking kamay at marahang itinuwid. Ang imahe ay isang simple, ako, nagniningning, duyan sa aming anak, si Caleb, sa aming dibdib. Si Caleb, kasama ang kanyang malambot, mahinhing buhok at mga mata na dilat pa rin sa kababalaghan ng bagong silang na mundo, ay nakayakap sa akin.

“Silent eyes,” I murmured.

It was a story of love, of hope, of a future they were building, brick by brick, with every passing day. It was a story that, in its quietude, resonated with the truest meaning of life, a meaning that went beyond the spoken word and dwelled in the silent depths of our shared gaze. The silent eyes, in that moment, were a testament to the enduring power of love, a silent promise whispered, a legacy that would last long after the picture faded.

“The silent eyes, once brimming with sorrow, now radiated a gentle warmth, the soft whisper of hope. I built more than just a structure. I built a bridge back to myself and my family a testament to the enduring power of love, peace, and with it, a new beginning.”
—Engr. Aziel Luke Villareal.

—THE END—