FIFTEEN
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
Reid's the kinda guy you gotta spell it out to, okay?
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Once Spencer signed out of the hospital, Lizzie offered to drive him home, insisting that she didn't think he should be driving. Spencer assured her that he was fine but she wasn't having no for an answer. And so, after the team dropped in to visit Spencer, checking that he was well, they bid them goodbye and Lizzie got Spencer into a taxi after flagging it down.
The drive to Spencer's apartment was silent as they sat in the back seat, both sitting by a window seat, separated by the gap between them. Lizzie couldn't stop thinking about their almost-kiss, it was spinning in her mind like it was on a wheel, not giving her a moment to think about anything else. What the hell was I thinking? She wondered to herself. She had been the one insisting that she didn't want another workplace relationship, and there she was, almost kissing her coworker with no real explanation for why. All she knew was that she had wanted to—she really wanted to.
Lizzie had snuck a quick glance at Spencer, trying to catch the expression on his face but he was looking out of the window with extreme concentration. Lizzie had no clue that he was also thinking about the almost-kiss. Spencer couldn't deny that he had been crushing hard on the latest addition to their team—but he had thought it would pass with time. Instead, it seemed that it was only growing more. When Lizzie entered a room, all he could do was watch her and when he was close to her, it sent shivers down his spine. But he couldn't believe he had almost kissed her. Spencer hadn't kissed a lot of girls in his lifetime—let alone one like Elizabeth Hotchner. But he found himself second guessing; had she really been leaning in to kiss him or had he imagined it?
After twenty-minutes, they arrived at Spencer's apartment and Lizzie followed him up the spiral stairs to his floor. Lizzie stood behind him, fiddling with her sleeve as he unlocked his door before turning to her, "Do you wanna come in? I could make you some coffee—or tea, I have tea." He suggested and Lizzie glanced by him and into his apartment curiously. She did wonder how Spencer Reid lived and what his apartment looked like, even when her mind was screaming at her to leave.
She offered him a smile, "Sure, tea sounds good. I could really use the de-caffination." She said and Spencer opened the door further, allowing Lizzie to enter his apartment.
Upon entering, Spencer watched Lizzie walk inside, feeling a little nervous. He rarely invited anyone into his home—even his fellow team members. But a part of him didn't want Lizzie to go yet. She had made him feel safe when he was clinging to life in the back of the ambulance and he didn't want that feeling to leave just yet.
Lizzie took a walk around, circling through the living room of the apartment, taking it in. She smiled slightly. His walls were mostly green with brown panelling and stand-out wallpapers on certain walls. Behind a desk at the back of the room, he had two bookshelf separated by a canvas in the middle. The shelves were filled with books of all sizes and colours, with little trinkets spread throughout. In the centre of the room was a large statement rug that was red in colour with cold patterns, a dining table in the corner with books scattered across it and a brown leather couch with various cushions spread across it.
Spencer watched her walk to his window that was draped in sheer curtains. She stopped in front of the small table where a chessboard lay and she smiled slightly, lifting up the Queen and twirling it in her fingers, "I was never much of a chess person—never had the patience for it. Sports were more my thing." She said, more to herself than to Spencer, just to fill the silence between them.
Spencer slipped his hands into his trouser pockets, "I remember Hotch saying you were in the volleyball team back in college." He said, walking towards her a little—but not too close, keeping a distance between them.
Lizzie put the Queen back in her place and turned to face him, "Captain of the volleyball team, actually," She corrected with a faint smile on her lips, "I was always better at the physical stuff." She said, turning back to face the window and slipping the curtains aside to look down at the busy streets below them.
Her lips parted, "You can actually see my apartment building from here." She said, staring across at the building a block over. It was big, fancy and painted all white.
"What? You live nearby?" Spencer asked in surprise, having not known the blonde woman stayed so close to him. Not that he would, it wasn't like their home locations were shared between them—unless in scenarios like their one, where Lizzie had been invited into his home.
"Mhm," Lizzie chirped. She gestured with her hand, "Come here. I'll show you." She said, ushering him over to her. He hesitated for a moment and then crossed the room in large strides to join her side, standing opposite her.
"Gimme your hand," She said absentmindedly, looking out the window. After a moment, Spencer offered his hand and she took it. His was cold compared to her warm one. She adjusted his hand, using his pointing finger to press against the window as she squinted her eye, "Right there. The big white building on the block over. My living room window is right... there." She tapped his finger against the glass, pointing at the window with purple curtains that were open with no lights on.
The pair stayed like that for a long moment, looking out the window with Lizzie's hand over Spencer's, spreading warmth over his skin. After realising they had been standing like that a little too long, Lizzie snuck a glance up at Spencer—only to find he wasn't looking out the window, he was looking right at her with those soft-brown eyes of his.
Lizzie could feel her stomach turning. She didn't know what the hell was going on with her or why Spencer being so close to her was suddenly effecting her. It was like a switch had been turned on. Somehow, just one day had shifted the dynamic between them and Lizzie was seeing him in a whole new light. Not that she hadn't noticed him before—because of course she had. But something had changed. Something that made Lizzie want to lean in and close the gap between them.
Just as Lizzie contemplated it, Spencer cleared his throat and took a step back, his hand dropping from hers, "Tea—the tea, I'll go make the tea," He stuttered, stepping away from her so fast it almost gave her whiplash. He walked across his living room and into his kitchen that was the smallest space in the room, "I have earl-grey and peppermint." Spencer told her, his back turned to her, hiding how flushed he was.
"Uh, I'll take the peppermint. Thanks." She said, shuffling over to his couch and sitting down, adjusting herself until she got comfortable.
"You wanna watch something? I can put something on the TV." Spencer suggested as he made the cups of tea.
"Sure—though, I'm definitely picking what we're watching." Lizzie said, glancing over the couch and giving him a smile, trying to appear unbothered by their previously moment even though her cheeks had yet to cool down.
"What?" Spencer gasped, "What's wrong with my movie taste?"
Lizzie gave him a flat look, "What's wrong with it is I can't imagine you sitting down to watch a comedy or a romance movie—and I think we should really change that." She said, offering up a shrug as Spencer returned with the mugs of tea, settling them onto the coffee table in front of them.
"Well, I don't have any of that here—except, actually, I think I might still have Titanic that Garcia loaned me. I still haven't watched it yet." He suddenly remembered, getting up and having a rummage through the DVD's stacked underneath the TV.
Lizzie's mouth fell open, "You haven't watched Titanic? Dude! What planet are you living on?" Spencer opened his mouth, most likely to give some smart-ass retort but Lizzie held up her hand, "Don't answer that. But we are definitely watching Titanic—and you're gonna cry like a big baby, Spencer Reid." She insisted, grinning up at him as he found the DVD that had been collecting dust; clearly it hadn't been used like he had said.
Spencer put the disk in the DVD player and sat back down beside her, their shoulders touching, "I am not going to cry like a big baby."
Spencer didn't cry. But he did tear up—Lizzie had teased him relentlessly for it, despite his best efforts to convince her that the movie hadn't effected him, along with telling her how inaccurate the movie depiction was. Lizzie had told him to stop being such a know-it-all and to appreciate the good movie to which Spencer had said it was okay—but certainly not a new favourite of his. Lizzie could accept that, especially now that she could tease Spencer for how he hadn't known where to look when the car sex scene had come on the screen. He had exclaimed that it was like watching it with his mother—since she was his coworker and Lizzie had laughed in his face at being compared to his mother.
And since Spencer had chosen to watch Titanic with her, Lizzie stayed behind to watch something of his choosing. Which happened to be Disney's 101 Dalmatians. Lizzie was surprised by the movie choice at first, assuming he would go for a Classic. But he told her that it was his favourite childhood movie growing up and that his mom would put it on the TV every night before he went to bed. It was a movie that brought him good memories and comfort—and after the hard time he'd had, Lizzie was allowing him to have it. And plus, she loved that movie.
However, by the time the movie had started it was already past midnight and both of them had passed out cold half way through the film. Somewhere through the night, Spencer's head had slipped down and onto Lizzie's shoulder, nuzzling into her as he snored lightly. They were tucked underneath a blanket Spencer had pulled from a cupboard when Lizzie had commented she was getting a bit cold and they had at first, kept their distance a little from under arch it; until they fell asleep.
Lizzie woke the following morning by the sound of her alarm going off on her phone, making her jump a little, but not enough to wake Spencer. She had grabbed it from where it lay on the armrest of the couch and shut off the sound before glancing down, seeing Spencer's head resting on her shoulder. He looked so peaceful as he lay there, his lips parted and hair brushing against his cheeks. Lizzie smiled softly to herself as she looked at him before slowly sliding out from under him and replacing her shoulder with a pillow, keeping him in his position.
Lizzie wrapped the blanket around him further before leaning over, planting a kiss to his forehead and he stirred a little in his sleep, "Have a good sleep, Spence." She whispered before gathering up her things and heading on out, making sure she closed the door quietly on her way out.
Walking down the stairs, she immediately shot Spencer a quick text. Thanks for the great night, Spence. Let's do it again sometime. Get some rest -L. She pressed send and then dialled another number, knowing who she was calling would be awake at 9am on a Saturday, "Hey, Em," She greeted as she put the phone to her ear, "Wanna get some breakfast?" She asked as she left Spencer's apartment complex.
Emily agreed to breakfast and they met up in a sandwich shop, not too far from where Emily resided. After going home, showering and getting changed, Lizzie had hopped in a cab and met up with Emily outside of the shop before heading on inside. They had been sitting at a table by the window, talking for a while, "We were like this close—this close, Em. A little nudge further and we would have kissed." Lizzie was saying as she explained the situation between herself and Spencer whilst Emily smiled knowingly to herself as she ate her omelette.
"Then why didn't you?" She pressed, sticking a piece of the omelette in her mouth and raising her dark eyebrows.
Lizzie threw her hands up. She had barely touched her food, "I don't know—I couldn't get a proper read of the situation. Like yeah, he was leaning in, but how do I know he really wanted to kiss me? He hasn't exactly made any advances before last night." She said in frustration.
Emily scoffed, "Reid, make the first move? Yeah, right. Look, Lizzie, Reid's the kinda guy you gotta spell it out to, okay? I mean, I don't even think he's ever had a girlfriend—so he is all kinds of freaking clueless when it comes to this kind of stuff," Emily informed her, surprising Lizzie a little. She knew Spencer wasn't exactly a ladies man like Morgan, but she had at least thought he'd had girlfriends, "And he was definitely leaning in. He wanted to kiss you. He was probably just too afraid." She said before taking a long sip of her orange juice.
Lizzie scoffed, "He doesn't need to be afraid of me. It's not like I'm gonna bite him." She mumbled, pushing the food around on her plate to give her something to do.
Emily laughed, throwing her head back, "Of course he's afraid of you, Liz. You're the type of woman that intimidates the shit out of guys—even guys like Morgan, they don't know how to act around you," She said, "And I know for a fact that Reid thinks you're way out of his league. He doesn't have the confidence to just go for it in case he's reading the situation wrong, he's not that kinda guy—he's too careful." She finished, giving her a sympathetic look.
Lizzie sighed, "I know. And that's what I like about him. He's not like other guys I've dated. He's not some dumb alpha male who won't let me drive his car," Emily let out a snort into her glass, "But god damn, I just can't seem to get a read on him."
"You don't gotta force anything, Liz. You've got plenty of time, you're both still young—"
"Yeah and by the time Spencer figures out I'm even interested in him, I'll be ninety," Lizzie grumbled, gaining a smile of amusement on Emily's behalf. Lizzie let out an agitated groan, "I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Just the other day I was telling Garci there was absolutely nothing between us—and now I can't stop thinking about him." Lizzie put her head in her hands, playing the theatrics.
"You almost lost him, Liz. I think it probably scared you into realising that you do like him," Emily told her, making Lizzie pull her head from her hands to look at her, "So, the question is, what're you gonna do about it?" She pressed, taking another long sip from her drink.
Lizzie stuck her nose into the air, "Ignore it and hope it goes away," She said, making Emily throw her hands up, "What! What else am I supposed to do? I told you already, I've done the whole co-worker dating thing and it really didn't work out. I don't wanna go through that shit again." She said, turning her attention back down to her plate, continuing to push the food around.
"What was so bad about the last relationship that it scarred you so bad?" Emily questioned, her eyebrows knitted together.
Lizzie paused for a moment, thinking it over. She shook her head, "Nothing. It was perfect." She said, diverting her gaze to fiddle with her hands on the table. She hated this conversation because she never knew how to admit just how she was the reason a perfectly good relationship had crumbled to the ground.
"Then why did you break up?" Emily asked her softly.
Lizzie looked up, staring at her. She hadn't told anyone on the team the reason why things had ended badly with her last relationship and she was trying to decide if she wanted to tell Emily right then and there—to confess how badly she had fucked up. She didn't regret it, just how she had handled it.
Just when it looked like Lizzie wasn't going to answer, she sucked in a deep breath, "He proposed," She confessed, earning a surprised look on Emily's behalf which quickly turned sympathetic. Lizzie picked at her nails, "He, uh, he did this whole romantic dinner thing and afterwards, he took me down by the waterfront and he proposed. At first, I remember feeling really happy and then the longer I looked at him, down on one knee I just felt this immense... dread."
"As much as I loved him—and I really loved him, I just wasn't ready... and I, uh, I really broke his heart that night. And I'm pretty sure he hates me now but, um, it was for the best... really." Lizzie could feel herself tearing up as she spoke about it, being the first time she had really actually talked about it instead of bottling it all up inside and allowing it to eat away at her. It wasn't that she regretted her decision, it was that she had hurt him—and really badly too. Afterwards, he couldn't even look at her.
"Sometimes you just aren't ready, no matter how much you love a person," Emily told her gently, "You can't beat yourself up about that, Liz." She assured her, reaching across to put her hand over Lizzie's anxious one.
"Yeah, I know..." Lizzie said, giving her a small smile in return, "Thanks for this, by the way. I really appreciate you making the time to see me today." Lizzie thanked her, widening her smile and Emily squeezed her hand tighter.
"You don't have to thank me, Liz. That's what friends do."
( authors note )
idk who's more clueless, lizzie or spencer?
also, the next few chapters will be of my very first own case that i've wrote! i'm really excited for y'all to read it bc coming up with all my own shit took FOREVER and i'm actually really proud that i managed to do it! but also, lizzie rlly goes through it and i didn't realise just how much i was putting her through so soon until now... oops???
hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!
— taylor xx
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