This was also an assignment for my writing class. However, we wrote scripts this time so it's a little weird to read.

Some background, I guess.

Ignore the romance subplot thing it says. That's wrong and has since been decanonized.

As the description says and you probably already guessed, this takes place in the fantasy world that I love so much. But the better, revised version. Also, it takes place around the same time as the last story because I thought it would be cool to have them be connected.

And our protagonist is a fish man, because I like  fish people.

HAYESTOWN

EPISODE 1, SEASON 1:

WELCOME TO EASTWOOD (Pilot Episode)

Written By

Me (lol)

Who else would have written this? Your mom?

FADE IN:

EXT. DAWNLEAF RANCH - DAY

The EXT means outside and it says then the location and time. That's scripts, I guess.

Magnolia is feeding the water cows, while Hayes is leaning up against the fence, seeming a bit bored by their surroundings.

They have special cows that you milk for water instead of milk. They're red and white like Minecraft mooshrooms.

MAGNOLIA

So, how did it go at Teddy's?

Teddy's is a restaurant, by the way.

HAYES

Things are as tedious as ever.

*flashbacks to last chapter*

MAGNOLIA

Maybe this isn't your thing, Hayes. Maybe...

HAYES

Maybe, what?

MAGNOLIA

Your uncle offered you a job, enforcing the law in his territory. I think you should take it before it's off the table.

Hayes uncle is the president of Newbang.

Magnolia walks over to the fence HAYES was leaning against, leaning beside him to speak to him face-to-face.

We're they not already speaking face to face? Was Magnolia looking at the cows while she was talking to Hayes?

MAGNOLIA (CONT'D)

You'd have an actual job there, instead of running around and being the town's anchor of common sense.

HAYES

I don't want to leave Eastwood, though. I grew up here.

I don't remember if this is explained or not.

Hayes shifts his position on the fence, then adjusting his hat to block the sun better.

Headcanon that sun bothers sirens, because they're supposed to be in the water.

HAYES

Plus, I hate the cold.

MAGNOLIA

Why? Snow is just frozen water. You're part fish, and fish are supposed to like water.

He's not part fish. He's full fish that can go on land as well.

HAYES

Snow and water are different. Also... I prefer land to water.

Because he grew up on land, he prefers it to his natural habitat.

MAGNOLIA

If I could breathe underwater and swim like a fish, I'd love it.

HAYES

You've never swam before, though.

MAGNOLIA

And? Water's great! I drink it all the time.

I forgot how much I loved this story.

HAYES

There's a huge difference between drinking water and swimming submerged in it, Magnolia.

There is.

MAGNOLIA

Water is great, regardless.

HAYES

Sure. Whatever you say.

SERENITY

(calling)

Hey, Maggie! Your boyfriend has a vistor!

Okay, so Magnolia is an elf. Because her name is a tree, I would assume she's a forest elf because I have a nature theme for naming all of the forest elves. But then her sister and father don't have nature names so her being a forest doesn't hold up that well. If I were redo this (or write the lore part) then her sister and father would have forest elf names since they are also elves.

MAGNOLIA

(sighs as she looks

towards Serenity)

He's not my boyfriend.

Oh yeah. Her and Hayes are the "normalize boy-girl friendships" duo.

SERENITY

Sure. He only comes over every single day and you talk about him constantly.

What else are supposed to do in the desert with your free time? Go to the local water park?

HAYES

Wh-What? She does?

MAGNOLIA

No, I don't. Serenity is lying.

Magnolia probably does, but in the friendly admiration way. Not the crush way.

HAYES remains silent, not commenting on the response. He seems more anxious than flustered by what happened.

Oh, and I think Hayes is ace. I can't remember if he's aro too or not.

HAYES

I-I'll go see who it is.

HAYES (CONT'D)

You should stay with the cows.

Yeah. Someone might steal your water cows.

INT. DAWNLEAF RESIDENCE - DAY

Oh, Dawnleaf is Magnolia's last name. I think I decanonized elves having last names, but because her family lives in a settlement with more than just other elves, they created a last name for themselves.

WESTIN

(to Hayes)

You have a visitor.

TEDDY

Hayes, I require your assistance once more at my tavern.

HAYES

(looking towards Teddy

with annoyance)

What now?

🙏 Please don't be like Grayson. Please don't be like Grayson. Please don't be like—

TEDDY

There was this group of travelers came into my establishment. As I do with anyone, I offered to serve them some drinks and a meal if they wanted one.

HAYES

They sound like completely normal customers.

TEDDY

Let me finish. They all had bandannas covering their faces when they came in. One of them, a goblin, said that they weren't interested in drinks or anything I served at my restaurant.

HAYES

Get to the point of the story, Teddy.

He is! Now stop interrupting.

TEDDY

The goblin said he wanted to speak with Theodore Glimbark; Theodore Glimbark the first. My father.

Teddy is also an elf. But a snow one, I think? (Thus why he doesn't have a nature name.) His family has a last name for the same reason Magnolia does.

WESTIN

He passed away a year or so ago, didn't he?

TEDDY

Yeah... He did.

HAYES

Was this goblin a friend of your father's?

TEDDY

I doubt it. My father frequently talked about his friends, and he never mentioned a goblin being one of them.

HAYES

Did you find out why they wanted him, Teddy?

TEDDY

Not exactly, but the group looked angry when I said he had passed.

HAYES

Okay, how is any of that important to why you need my help?

Hayes is the town's stand in sheriff. He doesn't want to admit that he is, but everyone insists that he is.

TEDDY

The stranger group then asked who the owner of the establishment was, if not Theodore the first.

TEDDY (CONT'D)

(nervously looks to Hayes)

I told them it was me... And then one of them pulled out a crossbow that was concealed by their poncho.

Poncho's are so cool.

HAYES

Did they threaten you with it?

No. They probably just pulled it out to flex on everyone else, having only knives. 🫥

TEDDY

They fired the arrow. It went just over my head, then I ran out before the one with the crossbow could reload and fire again at me.

HAYES

Alright. I'll go talk to them.

TEDDY

Hayes, you can't talk with them!

Why did you tell him about your problem if you didn't want him to do anything about it?

HAYES

Why not?

TEDDY

It's too dangerous! They'll shoot you!

He'll be fine. He's got protective scales or something like that serving as plot armor.

HAYES

You don't know what will happen.

TEDDY

You'll die!

He's the protagonist, Teddy. He can't die.

HAYES

Why did you come and tell me about your problem if you don't want me to help you solve it?

Exactly!

TEDDY

Who else am I supposed to tell? You're the closest thing to a sheriff this town has.

HAYES

And a sheriff would do everything in their power to break up the conflict and go back to the peace.

TEDDY

I suppose you have a point, Hayes...

Hayes usually does.

Hayes starts walking out the door of the Dawnleaf house.

TEDDY

Hayes, wait! They'll shoot you if you go in there!

Teddy... 🤦

INT. TEDDY'S TAVERN - DAY

Hayes walks through the battwing door, Teddy cowerding in fear behind him. Hayes notices the group that Teddy told him about staring at the two.

I had to look up what a battwing door was called because I did not know when I was writing this.

HAYES

(quietly to Teddy)

Th-There's a lot of customers in here for lunch today, Teddy.

Hayes has a canonical fear of crowds and being around a lot of people.

TEDDY

It's Free Side-Salad Day. Of course that special is going to draw out a crowd.

If the side salad is only free when you order, is it really free because you still paid for it?

HAYES

(quietly to Teddy)

Right... I expected this.

You did? 🤨

Hayes seems a bit shaky, before he looks at Teddy and then takes a quick, deep breath. Hayes then steps forward, drawing attention to himself and Teddy.

HAYES

What's going on here, exactly?

RESERVOIR

Oh, nothing really.

HAYES

(he lowly mumbles)

Nothing?...

Nothing.

RESERVOIR

My friends and I are going around proving ourselves to everyone who's looked down upon us. This is our last stop.

Wait a second...

HAYES

Did someone here in Eastwood do something to one of you?

RESERVOIR

Yes.

RESERVOIR

(he points to Teddy)

His father.

TEDDY

My father is dead, though.

RESERVOIR

I'm quite aware. That's what you said earlier when I asked for him.

HAYES

How exactly did Teddy's father wrong you? From what I know, Theodore Glimbark was just a local businessman who had a small ego.

Yeah. A *small* ego to name his restaurant after himself.

TEDDY

(mutters)

It was more than just a small ego... He named his restaurant after himself.

Wow! 😱 It's almost like I wrote this character.

RESERVOIR

He may have made himself out to be a good man, but deep down he was just as evil as everyone else in this sandpit.

Yeah. Who chooses to life in the desert?

HAYES

What kind of relastionship did you have with Mr. Glimbark?

RESERVOIR

He hired a union I was part of to install a few of the facilities here.

Unions are canon?! What's next? A rebellion to unite all the kingdoms— *remembers the UGB* ...oh wait.

HAYES

Alright... Why do you dislike Theodore Lombard then, if you worked as a former contractor for him?

RESERVOIR

He's the reason I got kicked out of the union I was part of, sheriff.

Reservoir, you can't be blaming other people for your problems.

HAYES

(he awkwardly explains)

Uh, I-I'm not the sheriff...

Yeah, you are.

HAYES (CONT'D)

Also, how exactly did this happen?

Our boy demands exposition.

IRVING

You two just keep talking, when are you actually gonna fight each other?

Somebody hasn't been paying attention.

The group at RESERVOIR'S table looking around at each other, specifically IRVING growing incredibly impatient.

Are you supposed to fully capitalize names when using a paragraph to describe thing? I don't know because I wasn't at school when we learned this. I came back to school being told that we were writing a TV show pilot, but I didn't learn how to do it.

AQUEOUS

Yeah... You said there would be excitement here, Reservoir.

Two guys talking to each other is... exciting.

HAYES

(he mumbles to himself)

Reservoir?

NILE

(aims crossbow at Hayes)

I'm locked and loaded.

Chill, Nile. Didn't you already shoot at Teddy earlier?

RESERVOIR

Put that away, Nile. We don't need to resolve every problem with violence.

He says violence is not the answer, but proceeds to brute force his way to take over the town. 🥱Why so much contraction?

IRVING

What about the plan to get your revenge, Reservoir?! We got ours already, so it only makes sense that you get yours!

Was the part where this group is going around murdering everyone they didn't like in this desert explained already?

RESERVOIR

I don't think there's a need.

RESERVOIR

(he light smirks)

Afterall, our would-be target is already dead.

I guess he has a point.

Reservoir, Nile, Irving, and Aqueous all get up from their table. NILE puts the crossbow away out of sight, eying TEDDY and HAYES.

Pfft. 😂 Nile.

TEDDY

(he whispers to HAYES)

Thanks for protecting my restaurant. I don't know what would have happened if you didn't stop that vicious goblin and his group.

Teddy you god damn idiot what have you done?! 😡

Reservoir flinches at the insult, before resuming to leave with the rest of his group outside.

Goblins being naturally violent and brutal without any reason is a very harmful stereotype that I do not condone the usage of. 😔 So Teddy calling Reservoir vicious was really mean. Especially after him and his group agreed to peacefully leave the town alone.

HAYES

Now, Teddy.

TEDDY

What?

HAYES

Is there anything else I help you with?

TEDDY

Well, you do the dishes for me–

I remember liking Teddy a lot more when I wrote this... 🤦

HAYES

Alright, I'm leaving.

Hayes leaves the establishment, Teddy resuming his work.

EXT. DAWNLEAF RANCH - NIGHT

Why is this main location of the pilot? 😂Hayes doesn't even live with Magnolia and she isn't a main character until later on in the season.

MAGNOLIA

So those guys had some kind of beef with Theodore Glimbark?

A little more than just "beef". 🙄 Also, Aqueous is a girl and Nile is non-binary, so they aren't all guys—

HAYES

I think it was just the one. The others were just there for support.

MAGNOLIA

Either way, it's weird that out of nowhere some group would come seeking revenge on Theodore.

Magnolia's expression changes to a more worried one.

MAGNOLIA (CONT'D)

Especially almost a year after he passed. It's just... weird.

HAYES

The news travels slowly here, Magnolia.

It does. There's only one lady a horse that's also willing to spread the news, so it takes days for things to get around.

MAGNOLIA

I know, but this whole thing makes me feel uneasy.

MAGNOLIA (CONT'D)

Do you feel uneasy about this, Hayes?

HAYES

No.

MAGNOLIA

Maybe I'm just being paranoid then...

HAYES

(he hesitates before speaking)

Y-You're not paranoid. You're just subconsciously looking out for everyone.

I wish somebody told me that was I worrying about stuff.

MAGNOLIA

(smiling)

Thanks.

Hayes doesn't say anything in reply, he simply just nods.

INT. HAYES ROOM, EASTWOOD INN - NIGHT

Hayes house reveal! Spoilers. He doesn't have a house.

Hayes is sleeping peacefully. A loud ringing can be heard, waking Hayes from his sleep.

HAYES

What?

Hayes gets out of bed and quickly dresses himself over his pijamas.

Who puts on clothes over their pajamas to go out? I'd just commit to changing at that point.

HAYES (CONT'D)

(walking towards the window)

Who could possibly be ringing the temple bell at this hour?

I create one religion and suddenly every area not ruled by a large kingdom has a temple of their own. I couldn't have a least given this town a blood church or something?

Hayes looks out the window, seeing a large mob holding torches, pitchforks, and various daily objects that could be potentially used as weapons. He notices a familiar figure ringing the temple's bell.

I can't believe Hayes wasn't invited to the rave.

EXT. EASTWOOD RAVEN TEMPLE - NIGHT

Hayes pushes his way through the crowd, getting to the few ringing the bell.

HAYES

(nervously glances looks at the crowd)

Wh-What's going on h-here?

IRVING

(shouting over the bell)

We're getting everyone's attention!

No shit, Sherlock. 🙄

AQUEOUS

This town needs an authority to enforce the law.

HAYES

Wh-What law? There are only a few laws here, and most Eastwood citizens follow–

*coughs in libertarian*

IRVING

(shouting over bell)

The laws we're about to establish as the new government of Eastwood!

You can't just waltz in and declare yourselves government officials.

The bell stops ringing, and the entire town fixates on Hayes' conversation with the group of strangers.

HAYES

Government?

Government is overrated. 🥱 Let's anarchy instead.

NILE

It's more like we're taking the mayor office, since your weak town can't do anything to stop us.

Actually— Nevermind. They have a point.

CITIZEN 1

What makes you think we can't stop you and your group of half-brained fools?!

I couldn't swear in this project, so I had to be creative with my insults.

CITIZEN 2

(raising old pitchfork)

Yeah! Unlike your band of morons, we actually came prepared for a fight!

I forgot they were having a rave outside.

NILE

(pulls out loaded crossbow)

You sure?

Wait, don't the townspeople have torches as well as their pitchforks? Did I find a plot hole in this flawed pilot that was written in a week? How unprofessional of me to not think that through. 😂

The mob settles, as everyone in the group of strangers pull out loaded crossbows from under the cloth of their ponchos.

I'm pretty sure torches beat metal. At least, according to Pokemon.

HAYES

So, you all just want to run for officer in Eastwood?

AQUEOUS

That's the bare minimum.

HAYES

I hate to be rude, but campaigning at midnight isn't the best way to go about getting elected–

This is our protagonist. Trying to talk down four people pointing loaded crossbows at him.

RESERVOIR

This isn't a campaign, sheriff.

HAYES

(awkwardly quiet explaining)

I-I'm not the sheriff... I just help everyone out with small things.

Hayes denying being the town's sheriff is a recurring thing that I find pretty annoying now.

RESERVOIR

It's my inauguration!

Oh please. 😏 Only Kevin can declare himself dictator and get away with it.

CITIZEN 2

I didn't vote for you as the mayor!

CITIZEN 1

Eastwood doesn't even need a mayor! Tax free society is the best society!

This sentence radiates my dad. 😂

IRVING

There's no need for an election. The Reservoir Bandits are already taking authority over your pathetic town.

Reservoir Bandits?! What kind of Underground Bandit knockoff is this?!

CITIZEN 2

Hey, if a town wide election isn't held then someone can't hold an office!

CITIZEN 3

It goes against our town's founding policy!

RESERVOIR

(smirking)

I guess that makes me your dictator, then.

CITIZEN 2

We won't let you take over our town! I'll defend this place until my dying breath.

NILE

(Fires into the crowd, Citizen 2 falling to the ground wounded, as a result.)

I don't think I did this action scene right. Oops.

IRVING

(He holds up his crossbow to intimidate the town more, Aqueous quickly following his lead.)

MAGNOLIA

(emerging from mob and running towards Citizen 2)

Someone get the doctor so he doesn't bleed to death!

They have a doctor?

HAYES

(He quickly undoes the snaps on his duster coat, then ties the coat sleeves around his waist. He does this to expose the scales that cover a majority of his skin.)

Don't worry, he's wearing a shirt. But it has short sleeves so he can chuck his scales at people to fight, out of self defense, since he's a pacifist.

AQUEOUS

(She notices Hayes doing something, and she aims her crossbow at him.)

HAYES

Pl-Please, don't disturb the peace here...

He asks nicely.

IRVING

(mockingly)

Why? Are you gonna do something about it? You don't even have a weapon.

HAYES

W-Well, I...

Hayes glances toward Magnolia helping the doctor try to keep Citizen 2 alive. Citizen 2 seems to be barely hanging onto life, the arrow wound being in a fatal portion of his chest.

No one dies because this is a teacher friendly story.

HAYES

(He lightly swings his tail, sending sharp scales flying towards the group of strangers.)

Why did he take his coat if he's using his tail to shoot scales?

IRVING

(He moves to dodge one of the scales, but another scale hits his wrist causing him to drop his load crossbow. The crossbow fires upon impact when landing on the ground.)

HAYES

(As a reaction, he pulls a scale off his arm and quickly tosses it at the flying arrow, splitting it in half and rendering the arrow useless.)

Backstory approved reflexes. 😃

AQUEOUS

Irving!

IRVING

(ripping the scale out of his forearm)

These things are sharp!

Obviously. They're scales.

AQUEOUS

(groaning)

Ugh...

AQUEOUS

(She aims and fires her crossbow at Hayes' chest.)

HAYES

(He pulls off two more scales from his arms, throwing them both. One hits and disables Aqueous' arrow, and the other cuts her lower left cheek.)

Self defense?

AQUEOUS

(She lowers her crossbow and uses her dominant hand to touch the blood coming from her cheek.)

RESERVOIR

Sheriff.

HAYES

(turning to Reservoir)

Hm?...

Answering to sheriff does NOT help your case of refusing to be the town's sheriff.

Reservoir steps in front of his crossbow wielding group, throwing his personal unloaded crossbow to the ground.

RESERVOIR

Why don't we call it a night?

HAYES

Are you giving up already?

RESERVOIR

No.

Reservoir looks slightly to his right side, before focusing his gaze back to Hayes.

RESERVOIR (CONT'D)

You are.

Hayes just got Uno Reversed.

Nile fires at Hayes, hitting the shoulder of Hayes' dominant hand.

I didn't decide which hand was Hayes' dominant once, since it wasn't too important to the script. Plus, if this was to be a show I didn't want to give Hayes a dominant hand, since that would force the actor to also have that. And I didn't want to do that in the hypothetical situation of this becoming a show.

MAGNOLIA

(with great panic)

Hayes!

HAYES

(quietly grunts)

Ack!...

You got shot and all you say is ack? Sounds about right.

MAGNOLIA

(stepping forward, beside Hayes)

Why are you doing all this?!

I think that was already explained, wasn't it?

RESERVOIR

To prove that you shouldn't underestimate us.

MAGNOLIA

What does that mean?!

What does it mean? I'm actually confused here.

NILE

Your pathetic little town was home to one of the worst elves alive.

Suzie. Wait, wrong world—

RESERVOIR

And since he's no longer alive, I believe it's only fair to get revenge on the lowly sandpit he called home.

Reservoir has used the sandpit insult twice now. Can you tell the story takes place in the desert based on the context clues?

CITIZEN 1

Is that goblin talking about Theodore? That Glimbark guy?

CITIZEN 3

I believe so. He's the most recent decaesd amongst the Eastwood community.

No one has died within the last year in Eastwood. Good to know?

Magnolia puts her arm around Hayes, letting him something to lean onto her so he doesn't fall.

Has he not passed out from the pain yet? I know he's a siren (and that's probably why) but I would've expected him to pass out from something like that.

RESERVOIR

(to Hayes and Magnolia)

Let it be known that the Reservoir Bandits now run the town of Eastwood!

Water bandits. 😂 Watch out. They'll steal your water cows.

The strangers all stood up straight before the town, all of them having regained their respective crossbows for the intimidation factor.

Why not stand up gay?

RESERVOIR

I am Reservoir. Leader of the Reservoir Bandits.

The bandits all have nicknames. They aren't all continently named after water or water related stuff.

Hayes and Reservoir's eyes met, the two exchanging looks of curiosity with one another. Hayes grunts in pain from his injuries, and Reservoir faces the town with excessive confindence.

At least this is better than Grayson and Ranger's relationship.

RESERVOIR (CONT'D)

And I am the new mayor of Eastwood!

INT. DAWNLEAF RESIDENCE - SUNRISE

Half of this pilot takes place at Magnolia's house, holy f#%k.

Magnolia waits outside the house's spare bedroom, the door being cracked open slightly. She peeks in seeing Hayes quietly asleep. Hayes' injury from the previous night had been tended to by the doctor.

Convenient spare bedroom because I didn't want Hayes and Magnolia to share because I didn't want them to shipped together. I personally prefer their relationship as friends.

WESTIN

(calling from offscreen)

Magnolia!

Westin bolts in the house, his hat nearly falling off from how fast he ran to get inside.

Cliffhanger upcoming.

MAGNOLIA

What's the matter, daddy?

*chokes on a lot of air*

WESTIN

(out of breath)

The cattle... They're all gone.

The water cows actually get stolen in the pilot?! 😱 I thought that was a plot point for later on.

MAGNOLIA

What?! How can they be gone?

WESTIN

I... I don't know. They aren't in the barn, not in the field, nowhere on our property.

They cows just decided to leave.

MAGNOLIA

What are we going to do? Our cattle are this town's main source of water!

"Control the water, control the people."

WESTIN

I'm not sure, pumpkin... I'm not sure.

The Dawnleaf family definitely has southern accents.

Magnolia looks nervously towards the room where Hayes is sleeping, desperately needing his help in the moment.

MAGNOLIA

(mutters quietly to self)

What do we do, Hayes?

FADE OUT.

The End. You'll never know what happened to the water cows. 😈

Water cows? Was that really the best name I could think of? I could've called them aqua Bo's tauruses or something, but I missed out and just called them water cows. 😔

Also, expect the big review I've been talking about next.