and i won't bother
even calling you
a good waste of time
because
you gave me nothing
when
i was willing
to give you
everything

you had me
in every sense
of the words
i melted under
your gaze and
your touch sent me
into frenzies

i won't call you
a worthwhile disaster
because
while you taught me
how to recollect my
broken self
you used and
exploited my weaknesses

you could have had me
i was yours for you
to keep
but instead
you chose girls
who fit your ego
but never cared
about your heart

i won't even call you
my first love
not only because
you do not deserve it
but you made my feelings
a burden,
you taught me to hate
everything i feel

because i was enamored
i fell in love
and all you felt
for me
was some dirty
detached lust

i let you use me
decide you didn't need me
only to discover
maybe you did
you could never choose
if you wanted me or
just my body

and you'll apologize
half heartedly
for the things you've put me through
but i know
that for us
things will always be
unequal

i won't call you
anything
except
the flower boy,
who caught my heart
and subsequently
taught me what it's like
to watch someone
destroy it