surrounded by
the expectations of others
and the sounds of
fallacious flirting
my head pounds
more than my heart
which has not fluttered
in so long
i am afraid it has forgotten how
the ability to
feel beyond it's limits
disabled, unable to
because it hurts too much
it has been damaged too much
i have been broken, enough

don't touch me—
don't look at me—
don't speak to me—
i am sick of people
playing their twisted
fucked up games
with me
i refuse to play
quit the game;
you won.

the claustrophobia of
the unwanted attention
exasperated by
the blackened numbness
i clamor for a chance to breathe
and still
you do not see the damage
you have done to me