I was in a room that felt vaguely familiar but I couldn't quite place it. Sunlight streamed through the cream curtains.

Music was drifting from somewhere afar. No. Not music - singing. Christmas carols.

I rolled over, feeling my body ache in its entirety.

"Fuck," I moaned, burying my face into the pillow.

A low soft chuckle sounded from somewhere nearby.

"Nice of you to finally join the land of the living, Weasley."

I knew that chuckle. I knew that voice.

Slowly, I lifted my head and turned my face towards the source.

The white-blond haired boy sat back lazily in an armchair; grey eyes twinkling and a smirk twitching at his lips.

"What the fuck?!" I choked, my voice horrifically hoarse.

"Surprise, surprise," he drawled amusedly, "four words in, Weasley, and half of them I wouldn't even say in front of my mother."

I slowly sat up, rubbing my very weary head, wincing in pain at every movement.

"Where am I?" I asked, looking around. But as soon as I said the words, memories came back to me. Admittedly blurry, but enough to know this was the London apartment I had been residing in for god knows how long.

With Blaise.

Where the fuck was he?

"He's sleeping it off in another room."

I blinked up at the Slytherin. How the fuck did he know what I was just thinking?

"He contacted me three days ago," Draco continued, his face suddenly dropping and then pinching in fury. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Weasley? Why would you want to get messed up in shit like that?!"

Anger sparked in my stomach. I reached for the glass of water on the bedside table and greedily gulped it down.

When I finished, I noticed he was still looking furiously at me. Not taking my eyes off him, I wiped the water residue from my upper lip with the back of my hand.

"Like you can talk about getting messed up in shit." I snarled.

The silver grey eyes flickered angrily, and then looked away.

"That stuff rots your brain, Weasley." He muttered.

"Why are you even here?" I snapped, suddenly feeling irritated. I didn't need him acting like my fucking mother, not after what he had done. "And don't tell me it's because you care."

"I do." He didn't miss a beat. His eyes fixed intently upon me, daring me to argue.

"Fuck you." I spat, hating the way he still managed to make my heart flutter.

He gave a weary sigh, as though he couldn't be bothered to argue. "Weasley, I thought you were supposed to be with Potter."

"And I thought you were supposed to be someone that wouldn't try and murder innocent people, but I guess we were both wrong."

He visibly flinched. "Don't."

"Don't don't me!" I roared, feeling angry at his warning tone. "I'm fucking fed up with your shit!"

"And I'm fed up with you!" He bellowed, anger sparking in his eyes.

"Well piss off, then. I don't need you! I never asked you to come here!" I looked away defiantly.

"Are you sure about that?" He scoffed, standing up and placing his hands on his hips in such a self assured manner that it made my bloody blood boil.

"FUCK OFF!" I screamed up at him.

"FINE!" He roared, heading for the door.

"FINE!" I roared back, already wishing he would stay.

He disappeared through the door, slamming it loudly behind him.

Two seconds later, he stormed back in.

"For three days I've been sitting by your bedside," he thundered, his pale cheeks tinged with colour, "making sure you didn't die of dehydration, holding your hair back when you vomited, comforting you when you were crying out in your sleep! Be a little more sodding grateful!"

I looked up at him and found myself, without warning, bursting into a torrent of tears.

He gave a heavy sigh, driving a hand through his hair. "Shit, Weasley."

I felt the mattress give as he sat down next to me, pulling me to him; letting me bury my head into his chest.

"I'm a fucking waste of space," I sobbed, letting my body wrack violently. "Even Harry thinks so."

"You're not, Weasley, don't say that." Draco said gently, tightening his arms around me. "It's just the come down talking, that's all."

I looked up, pulling away from him as I felt the anger rip through me again.

"For an entire year I didn't even realise the guy I was shagging was a pissing Death Eater!" I cried, seeing him bristle uncomfortably at my words, but I continued anyway. "And when he tried to kill me, what did I do? I invited him into my hospital bed to eat fucking birthday cake!"

"That was an accident. I hated myself for that," he implored, looking utterly pained. "I wasn't trying to kill you!"

"Oh no - my mistake! You were just trying to kill our innocent, harmless, never done anything but love us all Headmaster instead!"

He gave me a look as though I had just slapped him. "Stop-"

"NO! I won't fucking stop because I'm so angry." I hollered, just wanting to let it all out. "I'M FUCKING FURIOUS!"

"I get it, you have every right to hate me." He implored. "But going on a two week bender with Blaise? Really?!"

Two weeks? Shit?! How the fuck did that happen?

"Jealous are you?" I sniped, not being able to help myself. "Because you have no fucking right to be."

"I know that, Weasley." He gritted. "I'm just concerned."

"Well don't be! I don't want your concern! All you've ever done is fuck with my head!"

"Weasley, I asked you to be with me. After my father got imprisoned, I asked you to choose. Remember? I would have given you everything. But you chose him. And I could hardly confide in you when you're declaring yourself loyal to the other side."

"We were school kids Draco! We still are! You were asking me to choose between my best friend and someone I lo-" I stopped myself just in time. I was not going to start bringing that word up again. "Someone I liked being around."

"We're at war, Weasley. And you and I could never be together if we're on opposing sides. You know that. It's too dangerous."

"Then why did you carry on fucking me?" I asked, trying desperately to ignore the fresh wave of hurt in my chest.

"Because I was weak. I'm sorry, I just couldn't keep away from you. I missed you." He gave a heavy sigh. "I still do."

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. And he took my hand, just holding it as we sat there in a sad silence, side by side.

A gentle knock on the door made us both look up, quickly letting our entwined fingers fall apart. Blaise entered, mug in hand, and I suddenly found I couldn't meet his eye.

"I heard voices so I brought you some coffee. Here." He said, placing it on the bedside table next to me. "Umm... are you feeling all right now?"

He tucked one hand awkwardly in his pocket, as he scratched his head with the other, his eyes darting nervously to Draco. "Look, if I'd known you two were... I would have never... you know."

"There's nothing between us two," I said, looking up defiantly into Draco's eyes, "is there?"

He shook his head, looking at me sadly before turning back to Blaise. "No... she's a free woman."

My heart gave an aching twist.

"Because we didn't-" Blaise continued quickly, "I mean... I stopped when it was clear she thought I was... ummm... well."

I closed my eyes in horror, wishing Blaise would just shut the fuck up.

Draco coughed awkwardly. The atmosphere in the room was suddenly very uncomfortable.

"Look," Draco said, suddenly getting up, "drink your coffee, Weasley. I'm going to go and run you a bath. No offence, but you need one."

And he quickly strode out of the room without looking at either of us.

"Fucking charming," I muttered, giving my armpits a quick sniff. Meh - I'd smelt worse.

Blaise chuckled, taking the armchair Draco had been sat in earlier. I could feel his eyes on me as I took a shaky sip of my coffee.

"I didn't mean to take advantage," he said, suddenly turning serious. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself. At first."

"You didn't, it's okay, Blaise." I assured him. "I knew what I was doing."

"Nah, you didn't." He said, shaking his head. "But I promise you, nothing happened. It was clear every time we got close you thought I was someone else."

We both looked to the door where Draco had just disappeared through. The sounds of a running bath could be heard coming from further off.

"Yeah, well that's a one way disaster I need to move on from." I muttered bitterly.

Blaise let out a little noise that sounded somewhere between a scoff and a snort.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Weasley? That dude just spent the last three days nursing you back to health without once leaving your side. He also lay into me big time for putting you in 'danger', and now he is running you a fucking bath."

I looked up at him blinking. "So? What are you trying to say? That he wants to be the next Florence fucking Nightingale?!"

"Dude, please don't tell me you're that fucking blind?" Blaise said, shaking his head incredulously.

I said nothing but instead took another sip of my coffee.

"Look, it sucks what he had to do last year." Blaise continued. "But that was all down to his shitty dad. He pretends he wants to be like him; it's all he's ever known. But I know Drac, and I can see it's not what he wants deep down."

"What does he want then, deep down?" I asked, knowing exactly where Blaise was going with this, but wanting to hear him say the words.

"You, Weasley. He wants you."

The only trouble was, he wasn't letting himself have me.

*****