A/N: This chapter may seem a bit bizarre and confusing but it's how Ronnie's mind and thoughts are working under her trip. It wasn't easy to write, and it's not long - so please give it a chance and normality will resume in following chapter (well - normality for Ronnie!)

*****

Life felt fucking good.

The beat of the music was pumping into my body, pulsing through my veins.

I was part of it, it was part of me. I was untouchable. I was free.

Black eyes twinkling... laughter; so much laughter.

"You're fucking gorgeous, Weasley."

Silky soft tones sending thrills throughout my body.

Lips upon lips. Bodies slick with sweat; heart's pumping furiously.

And then I was somewhere else.

A dark room, soft mattress, smooth sheets.

"I want you." A low growling in my ear, shivers down my spine.

A heavy body falling down upon mine. Clothes falling away, lips upon my neck.

"Draco," I gasped.

"I'm not-"

But then there was blackness.

Water, I needed fucking water.

My eyelids felt heavy, my head felt thick.

"Here," Someone nudged a glass in my hand, I knocked it back.

But it wasn't water. Burning liquid seared my throat. White powder up my nose. A pill down my neck.

Music pumping again. Bodies, lots of bodies.

Black laughing eyes.

"You're freaking amazing, Weasley."

Hands through my hair, hungry lips on my skin.

"Draco," I sighed, "I love you."

"For fuck's sake-"

Darkness again.

My eyelids fluttered opened. I was back on that mattress. My tongue felt like sandpaper against the roof of my mouth.

Intense slanting black eyes gazing curiously into mine.

"You keep calling me Draco."

"I'm sorry. I don't know why." I whispered.

But then the tears came and they wouldn't stop.

A glass of something later. Another pill, another sniff. I was somehow back on the dance floor.

The music stopped feeling good. It started to suffocate me. I was shrouded in shadows and I couldn't escape.

Back on the mattress.

"Draco," I sobbed, as arms gathered around me. "Draco."

"I keep telling you, I'm not-"

This time the darkness lasted longer. I was drowning in it. I felt as though I was never going to be free.

*****

"What the fuck have you done to her?!"

Voices. Somewhere. I wasn't sure where.

I couldn't lift my head. I couldn't even open my eyes.

"We were just having a bit of fun. She seemed up for it. At first."

"She's supposed to be with Potter trying to save the world and you go and screw her up with that fucking shit?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"I dunno man. She needed cheering up."

I knew those voices. But I just couldn't place them. I couldn't place me, either.

Where was I? Who was I?

I tried to open my eyes again, but my eyelids felt glued down.

I tried to speak, but my lips were stuck together. 

I felt something... or someone, plonk down on the mattress next to my head.

A familiar scent.

A glass nudged against my lips but I still couldn't part them.

Something soft, yet firm... a fingertip... running water gently along my lips.

"How long has she been like this?" An angry growling voice; the one closest to me.

"Uh - a few days. She was doing fine at first, seemed to be enjoying it. But lately all she's done is lay there crying and sleeping and I can't get her to do anything other than take sips of water. I grew desperate, man."

"Why me? Why get me involved?"

"Because she keeps calling your name."

I finally managed to open my eyes, my heart thudding in my chest.

Staring down at me were a pair of silver grey eyes.

And then darkness again.

*****

I was looking down at the bottom of a bowl as someone held my hair back.

My stomach heaved over and over again. I felt like I was surely dying. I wanted to die.

"Shit, Weasley."

More darkness.

I was sobbing, I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to feel this way. I wanted Dad... no, Harry... no, Draco.

"I'm here." Soothing hands rubbing my back; a deep, yet gentle voice. "Just sleep it off, I'm here."

Darkness again.

Mouth dry, stomach raw, head pounding.

"Drink," A stern commanding voice. An arm hoisting me up as a cup was pressed to my lips. Water, wonderful water.

Back down on the mattress. Hands stroking my hair.

"Stay with me." I whisper.

"I'm not going anywhere."

And darkness once more.

*****