taking all the leaves out of nightwraith17's book, as you do, as you do

2018: Messenger conversations with Melissa at all hours and on all topics. Tearing up over the note my dad wrote in my graduation "memories" booklet. Too many group chats. Mosquito bites and talking to pastor friends at church family camp. The Ceristen Series. Painting sets under a hot buzzy July sky for our first organized VBS in five years. Costumes, ambient lighting, and holding baby sister's hand while she mouths the words to the VBS theme song. The Ceristen Series again. Keen sense of bonding with my likewise feverish fictional character as I rode out a wretched bout of flu. Wondered if publishing was worth it as I began to realize that all I wanted out of my writing career was right here on Wattpad. I wrote The War day in and day out all summer long, finished it mid-August, and could not have asked for more. Ever. The end.

2019: Crying on my birthday. No more school except the burden of learning social media and marketing which we put upon ourself. Hermitude in the basement and occasional blue skies. Trying to power through rewrite of lost edits. s t r e s s. Writing email newsletters. Panic spirals. Braided hair, shorts, and mango popsicles. First solo flight. Alabama is hot. Melissa and Mattie: fried pickles, evening movies, and walks through suburban neighborhood. Scraping together a launch team. Waves of euphoria and self-doubt.

2020: Quiet lavender June dusks. Joy. "Unprecedented" is already a joke. Welcome to the family, Celestia. Two weeks of no holds barred hiatus while sneaking back undercover to stalk discord. Coming back from hiatus to George Floyd headlines and national upheaval. "After the Last Tear Falls" Andrew Peterson. The book The Last Atlantean. My best friend got married. Failed job applications. Facebook livestreams. Classical Conversations director training whyyyyyyy.Journal entries. All the friends are writing again and I want to read all the things. Ceristen Series beta readers, character analysis over voice chat at 2 a.m. Brief spiritual crisis.

2021: Customer service. Strawberries. Another friend married off. Blueberries suck to sort. How do we keep the asparagus from getting moldy? Manager the rhubarb looks dry don't you think the rhubarb looks dry. Everyone is going nuts over Red Haven peaches my freaking word. I learn to mop. My sister is courting this is insane. My sister is ENGAGED. I moved out. There are too many bills. Rewriting Sorrow and Song from the ground up. Purchasing a shiny gold car whose name is Goldie. Writing whatever I darn well please because there is no brainpower for any systematic effort. Too good at the job I love and now they want me to take on more responsibility whoops. A whirlwind of survival.

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that was fun

It's not supposed to be February yet why are we halfway through February