Soooooo I got tagged by ChildOfThe1TruKing, i.e. Tru, in another pernicious little tag.

However, this one is the kind that's good to use with... CHARACTERS! That's right, I'm copying dream-is-reality, who copied me, who actually originally copied Dante_Greywolf, and we're doing another tag-interview-fun-thing with all the beloved characters. Modern AU versions this time, considering that the questions will allow for little else. XD

Jedediah Crayes: What? What? This better be important. I was in the middle of a court trial.

Oh, did the law finally call you out on all those speeding tickets due?

Jedediah Crayes: *eyes pop* *sputters* I was NOT the one on trial! Anyway, nobody ever cares if I speed. The policemen know I have my reasons, or they should.

They do tend to be a little concerned when they notice the state of your car...

Jedediah Crayes: *frigidly* Madam, if you have called me here to discuss all my alleged shortcomings and violations of (stupid) laws, I resign.

Take it easy. No, I just need to conduct a little interview. Now, where are those other characters... what is taking them so long to show up?

Mordred: *breathlessly enters* Sorry, very sorry. I had to chase down Linnetta from the barn rafters, and then Finley and Elaina were having something of a vitriolic argument over who got to drive the car...

Jedediah Crayes: *triumphantly* This is why I don't mess with brats.

Berethar: Particularly not brats named Mordred Kenhelm, or any of his children, or...

Jedediah Crayes: *jumps* WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

Berethar: I was summoned. Can I not enter as I choose?

Jedediah Crayes: *seethes* If I knife you sometime because you sneak up behind me, guess whose fault it will be. Not mine. Not mine.

Berethar: It is far more likely to happen to you than me, for several reasons, mainly because you creep up on me an astonishing number of times, with the premeditated intent of startling me, whereas I have no such intent and do it far less often.

*sigh* If I let it, this would go on for hours. Attention, characters!

The first item on the agenda is to tag ten people, but we're going to be little rebels and cut their fun.

Jedediah Crayes: *rubs hands together* I like this already.

First question: Name?

Jedediah Crayes: Shouldn't this be... obvious?

Just do it.

Jedediah Crayes: Jedediah Crayes, of the Legean Association, almost the most senior member.

Berethar: Berethar, son of Cirnac, house of Hylfher, clan Mycraí.

Jedediah Crayes: *mutters* Show off.

Mordred: Mordred Leon Kenhelm, father of eight charming children and husband of the most beautiful woman in a thousand years.

Jedediah Crayes: *groans*

Next: Single, taken, or crushing?

Mordred: Can I take my wife to the next interview?

We'll see... we'll see. Don't want to overload the readers with too many people they haven't met yet.

Berethar: I am wedded.

Jedediah Crayes: Single, thank you. Women are all very well, as long as they can cook decently, but to live with one would drive me mad.

Berethar: Perhaps you meant that you would drive her mad?

Berethar, I declare I do not know what's got into you tonight. Please try to be civil to Jedediah Crayes. He's quite irritable enough without provocation. Birthday?

Berethar: May I ask the design of the information collected here?

*deep sigh* Just trust me, all right?

Berethar: You cannot deny that these are prying questions. I care very little for revealing my personal information to the Internet.

Jedediah Crayes: *snorts* I'm surprised you know the Internet exists.

*another deep sigh* Berethar's birthday is in March. I will honour his concern and not disclose the actual date. Jed?

Jedediah Crayes: DON'T CALL ME THAT. My birthday is February 29.

Hehe. Right, I recall that...

Mordred: May 7.

Thank you.

Mordred: Isn't it nice how Berethar and I are the same age?

Jedediah Crayes: *rolls eyes hopelessly*

Let's NOT get into this now. Another time, Mordred. And Jedediah Crayes, shut up, you're not any better with your "acquaintances".

Jedediah Crayes: I have no idea what you're talking about.

We are a bare one-tenth of the way through these questions. Let's get the ball rolling. Pets?

Mordred: My son has a dog.

Jedediah Crayes: *loudly* A stupid dog.

Mordred: And there are usually a lot of cats in the barn.

Berethar: I do not keep pets.

Jedediah Crayes: Excuse me? And what about your horses that you curry faithfully every day? and the dog? and the dozens of other animals that you keep in your little old-fashioned way?

Berethar: *doggedly* None of those are pets.

Jedediah Crayes: Right. Just like I don't like Mordred's son's dog. Wait, what did I just say?

It doesn't matter, I'm sure. Last person you texted?

Mordred: I don't have text on my phone yet. It's so inconvenient, trying to keep up with technology.

Jedediah Crayes: Good grief, Mordred, text has been around for YEARS! Let me go buy you a new phone. Now.

Mordred: I... I like my old phone...

Jedediah Crayes: Anyway, the last person I texted... oh, it was Coerath. What an annoying person. Always reminding me how he's the most senior member of the Legean Association.

How disheartening for you. Berethar?

Jedediah Crayes: *seething again* Oh, we all know BERETHAR keeps that moldering artifact in his house, a wall phone with one of those curlicue cords... don't let's pretend that Berethar is even going to get a flip phone, much less text, even though Coerath made cell phones mandatory for Legean Association members...

Berethar: I forget.

Jedediah Crayes: YES! YOU VERY CONVENIENTLY FORGET! YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN FOR THE PAST EIGHTEEN MONTHS, AND EVERY TIME I WANT TO CONTACT YOU I HAVE TO SIMPLY HOPE THAT YOU'RE IN YOUR HOUSE--

guys guys guys enough. *wipes forehead* Keeping characters under control is such a trial. This next question might be a little more palatable for everyone. Last book you read?

Berethar: Beowulf.

Jedediah Crayes: You would.

Mordred: Lethira and I have been reading the Wingfeather Saga to the children.

Jedediah Crayes: *waves dismissively* I don't know. It was probably the car manual.

They can be fascinating... yes, I speak from experience. Do you have siblings?

Jedediah Crayes: You know my life story is a secret.

Mordred: I have three.

Berethar: I have four.

Mordred: But he has seven children and I have eight, so it all evens out.

Berethar: *upturns eyes briefly*

Good job, guys! We're breezing along. Favorite show?

Jedediah Crayes: If this woman would ever go watch some shows, we might have a chance.

Stop complaining! I'm giving you a chance. Pick my brain for any show that sounds cool to you.

Jedediah Crayes: And what if it's actually terrible?

Then you and I will be blithely ignorant of our gaffe. Eh, you know what, let's skip this question. Favorite movie? Nah, we had this one last time and the time before. Favorite subject?

Mordred: As in, conversation subject?

Jedediah Crayes: She means school subject, you little idiot. You're the one with kids, you should know this!

Mordred: Ohhh. Core or elective?

Goodness, I don't care! Whatever you want!

Mordred: I do like history. Also writing. Of course, Lethira far surpasses me in educational areas -- she has a degree in teaching and English...

Berethar: I prefer the study of languages.

Mordred: They come easily to you, don't they?

Jedediah Crayes: They come easily to me! I am fluent in --

Ahem, spare us the recitation. Least favorite subject?

Mordred: Physical education.

Berethar: I dislike creative writing. Not that I dislike the art of writing or of creativity, but it seems to me counter-intuitive that we should be forced to be creative.

Jedediah Crayes: *groans* That's Berethar for you. Leery of all that smacks of being "forced" to do something.

Berethar: Most of school felt that way.

Berethar, are you having a tough day or something?

Well... I'm going to skip the next question again, favorite song, and move on to favorite artist.

Mordred: What sort of artist?

Uh... any artist you want, I guess. It doesn't specify a particular field. Although I have my nibbling suspicions they meant song artist.

Mordred: I like the style of Claude Monet's paintings.

Impressionism does seem to suit you. Well, since Mordred has opted for visual artists, we'll put the question to the other two in the same vein. Berethar, please be cooperative.

Berethar: I admire the skill of Leonardo da Vinci.

Jedediah Crayes: I don't care two straws about art. Don't look at me!

All right then. I'll let it pass. Favorite quote?

Jedediah Crayes: *explodes without warning* How many more of these dratted 'favorite' questions are there?

I'm getting tired of them too. I guess we can skip this; it's the last one of them. Soooo... height?

Jedediah Crayes: Six feet on the dot.

Mordred: Six feet, two inches.

Berethar: Approximately six feet.

Mordred: So which one of you is taller?

Jedediah Crayes: Definitely me.

Berethar: It does not matter. Let us not try to make a judgment on this now.

A good idea... *nervous glance at Jedediah Crayes* Dominant hand?

Berethar: These are exceedingly nosy questions. Right, if you must know.

Mordred: Left.

Jedediah Crayes: Right.

Very good! We're making excellent progress. Have you ever skipped class?

*uncomfortable silence from all three*

Berethar: I had a good reason.

Mordred: I just forgot.

Jedediah Crayes: Well, who CARES? I sure don't! My professor -- probably -- didn't...

Uhuh. Have you ever drank? (something about that sentence sounds terribly messed-up...) As in, drank alcohol, I believe.

Jedediah Crayes: Well, this question doesn't sound judgmental or anything.

Berethar: I have drunk alcohol, but I have not been drunk on it.

Jedediah Crayes: Exactly.

Mordred: Anyway, wine is ridiculously expensive these days.

Have you ever kissed someone?

Jedediah Crayes: Er... no. *gags*

Mordred: Do they mean as in a kiss on the lips? In that case, my little bird...

Berethar: *is awkwardly silent*

Let me assure you guys that Berethar is very tender and affectionate, but public displays are not his thing... so we're not going to embarrass him by airing the ways in which he kisses his wife.

Mordred: May I please bring Lethira here? I am missing her presence very much.

All the talk about kisses. I should've skipped this one. All right, you may, but we're not going to ask her any questions as this is taking long enough between the three of you.

*Lethira comes in and Mordred swings her up and settles her blushing on the couch beside him, and the two lovebirds snuggle up completely oblivious to the world*

Mordred, I'm gonna have to pull you away from her eventually... Have you ever ditched a date?

Mordred: *looks up* Goodness, no.

Berethar: *extremely awkward silence*

Oh, dear. These questions are very hard on him. Berethar, I release you from the responsibility to answer any questions pertaining to romantic attachments, marital affection, etcetera.

Jedediah Crayes: I don't go on dates.

Good point. Have you ever broken up with someone?

Mordred: There was only, ever, one girl in the world for me. *pecks a blushing Lethira on the cheek*

Jedediah Crayes: I'm getting as fed up with these questions as Berethar. How many times do I have to say--

That's the last of them. Have you ever stalked someone on social media?

Jedediah Crayes: People I suspect of being criminals.

Mordred: I employ a harmless stalking of friends at times.

Berethar: *clears throat*

Jedediah Crayes: Don't even bother, Berethar. We all know you don't even have FACEBOOK.

Berethar: Except for the half-a-dozen times you made me an account, for what reason I am lost to know.

Jedediah Crayes: You NEED Facebook. You need SOMETHING. You do not just exist in this modern era and not have Facebook.

Berethar: I am not opposed to anyone having Facebook. I merely do not care to have it myself. Is this a--

Jedediah Crayes: Yes, Berethar, it is a problem.

Mordred: I don't think Berethar has any problems. Now, shall we move on?

Have you ever snuck out?

Jedediah Crayes: *starts laughing uproariously* What do you mean? Snuck out of where? My whole life is sneaking places.

Mordred: Perhaps it means 'without parental permission'. In that case, I recall an instance when I was five...

Berethar: *shrugs* I recall none.

All right, we're moving into the last phase of questions. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Mordred: I don't know. All I know is that sometimes I forget to sleep. It has bad repercussions.

Berethar: You more often forget to eat.

Mordred: And that has even worse repercussions.

Berethar: I have no difficulty in rising early.

Jedediah Crayes: I would call myself a night owl. *preens*

Cat or dog person?

Jedediah Crayes: They're both stupid animals.

Mordred: *lips twitching* Quite. I like both, myself.

Berethar: To prefer one kind of animal over another seems to me absurd.

Jedediah Crayes: *long-suffering sigh* It seems that way in your strange Berethar-logic head, yes. But I know you even if you don't. You like dogs. To be specific, you like your dog. The massive wolf-like creature that looks like it wants to tear the world apart.

Mordred: Speaking of people who like dogs...

Jedediah Crayes: *menacingly* Yes?

Never mind it. Always free or always busy?

Jedediah Crayes: Busy.

Mordred: Usually busy.

Berethar: Often busy.

Well, that went quickly. Are you messy or clean?

Jedediah Crayes: I'm the epitome of--

Mordred: I hope you're going to say messiness?

Jedediah Crayes: COME ON!

Mordred: I have trouble navigating your house. And as for the state of your car...

Jedediah Crayes: *inarticulate sputterings*

Mordred: I don't pretend to be terribly organized myself. I'm always misplacing things. But my children are good at finding them for me again.

Berethar: I prefer to keep things orderly.

Mordred: *smiles* You are so very sensible, Berethar.

Last question! Are you... a hot weather person or a cold weather person?

Mordred: I like bracing air. A cold breeze is so invigorating. I cannot stand windless days.

Lethira: *pipes in* That is what I can't understand about you. You like to open the windows in the dead of winter just so you can get some air in the house!

Mordred: *fondly* There we are at odds, are we not?

Lethira: *shakes head* I prefer heat entirely.

Berethar: I am accustomed to cold climates, and do not enjoy the heat.

Jedediah Crayes: I'm with Mordred(and Berethar, I suppose). But what I can't stand most is mugginess. Disgusting weather.

I would like to congratulate you all on providing us with a very entertaining and mostly cooperative interview! Jedediah Crayes, you really kept your temper to an astonishing degree.

Jedediah Crayes: *scowls*

You can go back to your court case now.

Jedediah Crayes: *scuttles*

*Mordred and Lethira wander off hand in hand*

Berethar: *strides away grimly*

I wonder what he's up to... he's not talking to me.

Anyway, that was fun! Thanks for watching! *exits with dramatic bow*