A/N: Another day passes in the life of Vergil Sparda, and this time, he is thoroughly tortured by his twin brother :D Pic credits to user Yuha on Zerochan.net! 

[Sparda Charms]

"Hey Vergil." The voice that half-sang sounded by his ear. He knew it deep down in his guts that it was an extremely bad idea to respond, but pure instincts instilled by his parents made him give a reply despite how much he didn't want to.

"Yes?"

He hoped that his little brother could understand the tone of irritancy when he heard one. Vergil's irritancy and annoyance was building up beyond ken, but up till now, he still had not found a proper way to make Dante heel. They have spent the past ten years together; and Vergil still could not believe that there was still a demon that he could not tame. A demon that went by the name of Dante Sparda. To be precise, the half-demon that was his twin brother only became a demon to Vergil's eyes when Dante was bored.

See, the thing was: whenever Dante was bored, he would suggest completely utterly ridiculous things to do that were completely unbefitting of their name and status. Vergil would refuse and reject all sorts of invitation, but Dante would simply drag him there. Vergil would hang on to his black and sour face throughout the entire thing while Dante enjoyed himself being his stupid self, and sometimes even enjoy putting Vergil into tight embarrassing spots.

Basically, at the end of each of these such events, Vergil would be completely utterly humiliated by his brother, and Dante would have enjoyed the whole thing.

"Let's play a game." Dante suggested, the very thing that Vergil didn't want to engage in. Especially not with someone like his brother.

"No."

"We're finally outside, after so long! You refused to budge from Devil May Cry, and now you don't want to entertain me?" Dante whined, but there was completely no effect on his twin brother. Vergil had heard Dante's whines probably a million times before, and he wasn't going to let it affect him one more time.

"And I would like to return to Devil May Cry, if not for the fact that you have me chained to the chair." Vergil bit back, shifting his ankles a little to make the chains drag a little across the face, making a soft metallic sound that could only be heard by the two of them at the table.

"You're a half-demon. Break out of your chair yourself." Dante grinned, as if terribly proud of himself. Vergil refused to look at his brother, forcing himself to keep his eyes on the book that he had thankfully brought out along with him when Dante had dragged him out of the office this time. At least reading would bring him away from whatever world Dante was trying to pull him into, and hopefully, it would bore Dante until his twin brother finally agreed to go back to the office for Dante to engage in his completely useless lifestyle of sleeping and eating pizzas.

"You have the chains tied on my pants. When I break them, my pants come off." Vergil hissed, nails digging into his book as he adamantly kept it to his face, creating a paper-wall between him and his brother. He didn't have to see Dante's stupid grin of victory. Vergil wasn't even sure how this had happened in the first place. All he remembered was Dante leading him to this building, and he had been refusing to step into the building because he found out that the building was a modelling agency.

Apparently Dante had accomplices this time around, because while he had been struggling against his brother, someone had clobbered him on the head, and he had completely blacked out only to wake up and find himself in this completely embarrassing situation. The worst thing was; they were currently sitting at a table in the corner of a room that apparently held anxiously waiting model-hopefuls waiting for their turn at auditions.

He could expect nothing less from his twin brother.

"I'm sure your boxers are a fresh sight for the beautiful women we have here." Dante teased, but Vergil only leaned far away from his brother, as if it could spare him from the torture that his brother was putting him through. "Let's play the game, Vergil."

"NO." Vergil replied sharply, refusing to put down his book that hid his shameful face from the room full of humans. "I refuse to engage in your stupid games."

"The game is called 'Reading Lips'." Dante spoke, completely ignoring his brother's reply and taking it as if Vergil had heartily agreed. "We'll read the lips of some of the girls and see what they think of us. Maybe one or two of them will like to see your boxers today."

Vergil bit his bottom lip, refusing his twin the luxury of a pissed-off reply. His sword had been missing since he was hit unconscious, and thus he couldn't slice his way out of this terribly embarrassing situation at the moment. He couldn't exactly show his demonic side in a room full of humans; unless he wanted himself to be disturbed by humans with pitchforks or superstitious people throwing holy water at him trying to ward him off.

"Let's try... those two girls talking in the corner! I'll take the red-haired one, and you take the black haired one. I'll start first." Dante continued as if Vergil had made any sort of acknowledgement to his explanation of this twisted game that Vergil was refusing to be a part of.

"I'm so nervous, Kathy! What if I forget to turn? What if I accidentally give the wrong look?" Dante's voice was sickeningly high-pitched this time in a bid to mimic (badly) a girl's voice.

"Vergil, it's your turn!" Dante broke off his high-pitched voice, hitting his brother repeatedly on the forearm closest to him that was resting on the armrest of the chair.

"I'm not playing your stupid game, Dante!" He could not help but argue, pulling his forearm away from Dante's reach, but also giving up trying to read his book. It was completely useless, and Dante was obviously not going to let him off the hook.

"Damnit, Vergil, you lost your turn!" Dante complained, but continued keeping his eyes on the girls of his choice, still reading lips.

"You have it good, Kathy! At least you had some sort of experience when you were selected for the school pageant back when we were in high school! I don't have any experience with this at all!" Dante once more mimicked the annoying voice, turning to look expectantly at his twin. "Vergil, your turn!"

"No."

"If you don't play along with me, I'll tell Daddy."

Vergil's mouth hung open. His brother was using the 'Daddy' card again? Again?

"You won't." Vergil glared, trying his best to bully Dante into submission, but it wasn't happening.

"I will if you don't play with me."

"I'm not a babysitter, Dante!"

"I'm going to tell Daddy."

"Stop being such a baby!"

"I'm telling."

"How? How are you going to call Sparda? Hmm?" Vergil challenged.

He did not like the grin that replied him.

"Daddy gave me something called a phone." Dante's grin didn't lose its blinding brightness when he reached into his pocket and retrieved the black mobile, holding it exactly out of his twin's reach. "And I've got Daddy and Mummy's number."

"Stop sounding like a five year old, Dante." Vergil scolded. "Sparda and Eva are not going to believe you. You're always the one putting me in these kind of stupid situations. We're already thirty, for god's sake. Stop threatening to call them just to make me bend."

"But you always bend, don't you, Vergil?" Dante flipped his phone open, scrolling through his contact until he reached the name 'Dad', flipping it back around to let his brother see it clearly. "I'll call."

"FINE! I'll play your stupid game, you idiot."

"Good boy!" Dante beamed. "Now you take the black haired one. Oh look, they're looking at us! What is she saying, Vergil? Read her lip!"

"Do you think those guys sitting there are already models scouting, or are they participants for the audition as well?" Vergil read monotonously, looking away the moment the girl was done speaking just in case their eyes met or something. It was already embarrassing enough that his argument with Dante had gotten the attention of the girls across the room, and now he was forced to look at them and read the girl's lips?

"Omigosh did you just see that? The cool one was looking at you! And now the cute one is staring at me! Omigawd, they are so hot! Do you think they're recruiting us?" Dante continued the conversation with his usual high-pitched annoying voice, pinching Vergil to remind his brother to continue.

"Relax, Ren. Act cool. Give them the best smile you've got. They're onto us."

"Okay... okay... OMYGAWD, the cute one is signalling me over! Wait, is it only me? No, he's asking for you too! He's asking for the both of us!" Dante continued lip-reading, giving his twin brother a significant look even as he signalled the two girls in question over.

"What the hell are you doing, Dante?" Vergil hissed, no longer lip-reading since the two girls were making their way awkwardly across the room towards them, uncertain smiles hanging on their faces.

"Play along and play nice." Dante warned, and that was the only thing the younger twin could say before the girls had reached them. "Hello ladies, my brother and I couldn't help but catch your eyes across the room. And I'd like to just say that the both of you are just stunning today."

"Oh, do stop flattering us..." The black-haired girl at least found her tongue against Dante's oozing charm. "You guys are... uhm... good-looking as well."

"Thank you so much for the compliment! I was getting a little worried, what's with this being my brother's first time outside in ten years..."

"What do you mean?" The red-haired girl spoke up timidly, looking over to Vergil who only did his best to smile back in reply, hoping his smile wasn't pained at all.

"Oh, you see, my brother is deaf and mute. He was doing well when he was young coping with his disabilities, but he was badly bullied ten years ago. He had social anxiety issues, but today is his first day outside. I brought him here, because I want him to be confident. Right, Vergil?" Dante turned over, and gave a few ridiculous hand signals that would definitely give all hand-signers around the world seizures if they ever saw Dante. Vergil didn't even want to know how Dante was trying to convince this pair of girls that he was deaf and mute when he had clearly been talking and arguing with Dante just moments before this.

Wanting to get out of this mess, but also wanting to scrape the most of his dignity doing so, Vergil did his best to plaster the stone smile on his face as he signed back to his brother, hoping that his sentiments were passed to Dante in his murderous glare.

"Oh, won't you look at that? My brother says that seeing the two of you really makes him less nervous. Vergil is a really friendly guy, but he's been scarred you see......"

"That is such a pity!" The black-haired girl answered, a pitying hand put on his shoulder. Vergil did his best to affect the politely confused expression, though the discomfort at the physical contact didn't need much pretending to replicate. "So the two of you are here to model?"

Vergil struggled not to sigh in exasperation. Really, were there a pair of girls dumber than these two? Had he not been clearly caught arguing with Dante before this?

"Yes. Vergil begged me to come. He said that one of the judges here is his biggest idol."

Vergil pinched his brother a sharp one on his forearm, glaring and not even bothering to try pretending to be deaf anymore.

"Oh, Vergil, you don't have to be ashamed in front of these two beautiful ladies! I'm sure they understand your circumstance, right?" Dante answered condescendingly with another series of complicated and retarded hand-signs that meant absolutely nothing to him, and would mean absolutely nothing to a real deaf person.

"Yeah, please help us tell your brother that we really admire him for his strength, and we're rooting for him for his auditions later!" Red-haired girl spoke up emotionally, and Dante nodded, smiling as if he were grateful for the ladies' kind thoughts while he did another series of unintelligible signs.

Vergil signed back –since he had honestly studied hand-signing language before –to his brother saying that he would kill Dante whenever he had the chance, but it was safe to assume that Dante wasn't educated in the same language as well when Dante laughed and turned back to the girls.

"He says he wants to get to know the two of you charming ladies more. Would you be so kind as to give him your numbers? He's just coming back into the world, and he's really worried that he won't have any friends... I'm so sorry for having to ask this ridiculous request of you two beautiful ladies... I do hope that your boyfriends won't be offended." Dante explained, and Vergil hid his face behind his hands. Dante was definitely going all out today to make the biggest fool out of him.

And the worst thing; the targets that Dante had picked out were complete utter fools as well, because they handed the man their numbers written on a serviette that the black-haired woman had found in her bag.

"Please help us tell your brother that he is free to text us whenever he wants! And you too. We don't have boyfriends, so don't be afraid of bothering us. I'm Kathy, and this is Ren. It's nice to meet you, Mr..."

"Call me Dante." Dante shot to his feet, grabbing the girls' hands in his and shaking sincerely. "Thank you so much for being so understanding about my brother's situation. May the gods shine their luck upon you in this audition!"

"Thank you, and good luck to you and your brother, Dante!" The girls waved their goodbyes as they went back to the corner, but not before they made sure their waves were seen by the supposedly deaf-mute Vergil.

"What a turn-out." Dante sat back down on his seat easily, admiring the numbers written on the serviette that he still had clutched in his hands. "That went easier than I thought."

"Yeah, especially when you have a deaf-mute twin brother along for the ride." Vergil finally broke out of his mute-spell. "Now can you let me off?"

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't just your condition that won their hearts. It was our charm. Look, they're talking about us! Read their lips!" Dante pointed out excitedly, and Vergil could not help but obey on instincts, looking at the lips of the two girls that had just left them.

"Look at that! They want to double-date with us! The black-haired one is real interested in you, Vergil! She likes men with complications."

"We're not going on a double-date." Vergil warned. "I don't care if you call Sparda. I'm not going on a double-date for your sake."

"Of course." Dante scoffed, dropping the serviette on the table in front of them before standing up and smoothing down his clothes as if he had crumpled them in the first place. "Let's go, I'm bored."

"In case you haven't noticed, you chained me to the chair." Vergil reminded when his brother began to walk away from the room, half-relieved but not willing to let his guards down just yet. Dante's whims changed faster than the wind, and he could be bored at one moment, and rather entertained the next.

"Yeah, about that. " Dante reached into his pocket, dropping the key on the table. "We didn't actually tie the chain to your pants. The tugging you felt was actually me pulling."

Vergil's disgust and willingness to be free of his chains stopped him from saying anything more, and soon he was gladly on his feet and rushing out of the room before he could be further embarrassed by his brother anymore.

"I don't believe that this was anything interesting at all. What was your point of coming here?" Vergil questioned as they made down the pavement back towards Devil May Cry once more; both of them having collected their weapons back from the storeroom of the modelling studio that was supposed to have taken pictures of them for an advertisement.

"It was interesting." Dante said with a yawn. "I got numbers from two girls."

"That's all? You dragged me out today to get numbers?"

"No." Dante scratched his head with disinterest this time. "I dragged you out to see how strong our Sparda charms were. And they are strong, because girls want you even if you are dumb and deaf."

Vergil sighed heavily, shaking his head. "I suppose it's a good experiment."

"Wow, this is the first time you're going along with me willingly, Vergil. Don't tell me you enjoyed today too?"

"No." He was quick to answer his brother, wondering exactly how he had survived the past ten years filled with these kinds of embarrassing scenes.

"But it only goes to show that there is still hope for someone like you to get a girl, Dante. All you're going to need is your 'Sparda charms', and you don't even have to speak a word. Actually, it would be better for you if you didn't speak a single word. As long as you get a woman to take your attention off me, I'm rooting for her."

Vergil's answer was nothing short of honesty.