WILLIAM  XAVIER

"Where is Rylan?" Dad asked Ivan as we enter his office. His house rather isolate despite having four children.

Ivan sneered at me, "He is not feeling well. So, what do you want from here?" He sits on the leather chair. A sign of displeasure quite clear on his tone and face. My parent's loss a word to say. The impact of that incident so bad that it affected a lot of relationships.

"It is about Allen. Could you please tell us where he..." Ivan mood turn worsening.

"What else do you want from him? To invite him to your son's marriage." Ivan turn his focus on me. "By the way, congratulation to be a father." Since we separate, Allen's parent has withdrawn from any occasion and meeting. Ivan held a grudge against us for banned his son from werewolf pack. The thing was getting worse when they knew that Serina is carrying my child. Seem like Allen never say anything to his parent.

"Council has put him under wanted list. As his ex-mate, I want to light his punishment if he willing to co-operate." I interrupted.

"Oh, I see... ex-mate. Have you filed a divorce too?" Before I answer him, a small boy run onto his lap. The boy looks an exact carbon of his father, Ernest. He smiles at me as we have met a few times.

"Ivan, we are not here to fight. We are trying our best to help him..." Papa tries to ease the tense situation.

"He doesn't need a help from any of you. And, you won't find him anywhere, anymore." Ivan speaks like a dictator. A sign of agitated clearly show by the way he knocks the table.

"Now, can you leave my pack ground? The sight of you only brought a sadness and harm my mate. I should not have forced my son to find his mate. He will be a happiest person being alone than sharing his life with a prick." He obviously rubs a salt on my wound.

"Grandpa sorry..." The kid takes a chance of silencing to speak. Ivan takes a deep breath and eased his mood. "Grandpa Rylan is crying in the basement. He looks so sad." The boy informs about his other grandparent condition. Ivan let out a heavy sighed.

He trotted out of the room with complicated face. Months ago, he always teased me like a best friend caused Allen sulked like an abandoned child. Everything changed after the rejection. This friendly old couple always distanced themselves from the werewolf community because the rejection news has spread around. People begin degrading this pack upon their ex-alpha defected. I also heard Ivan's mate; Rylan fell into a depression again.

Today, I tagged along with my parent to confirm their condition and Allen's whereabouts. There is no news after I banished him on that day. Like he has disappeared into the thin air. The Werewolves Council has issued a warrant to capture him. Luke has controlled the situation and give a warning that nobody could kill or torture Allen upon arrested. He really turns like a lone wolf as he wished for. We also stand up and follow Ivan as well. From the boy word, the rumor seems truthful.

"Rylan, stop playing the videos. Please, I beg you." Ivan is cooing the still crying mate. My eyes stuck on the screen. A boy around four or five years was running around after teasing Rylan and another unfamiliar man. The boy was Allen. He looks so happy with nonstop laughter. A thing I have never seen since we married.

"Please call him back, quickly. I will cook all his favorite dishes." Rylan gives the most heartbreaking smile. His eyes unfocused. Like someone whom avoiding a reality. "We won't force him to do anything his hate for. Oh yeah, he like to eat a spicy food. So, I need to add two or three more ingredients to suit his palate. The boy..."

Ivan put both of his palms on Rylan's cheeks. He forced him to stare eye to eye, "Rylan, I wish to call him back too. He was our first born, a son that connecting both of us. I really... really wish to..." Ivan tears shock all of us. Maybe they still unable to accept the truth yet.

"But we already lost the opportunity." He paused, "If he still alive, he must be angry seeing you tormented yourself like this. I believe your ex-husband will be taking a good care of him in an other world." My mind is taking a few minutes to process the hint in Ivan's sentence. It's like someone was driving a wooden stake through the heart. No, I must have been misinterpreted.

"No, Allen just a bit tired... he is in the midst of deep sleep. Are you trying to jinx our son?" Rylan shook his head.

"Allen is gone, Rylan. Please accept the truth, please stop torturing yourself. You should blame me for failing to protect him." Ivan hugs his mate from behind. He looks so miserable like a defeat person.

"What do you mean? Where is Allen?" Curiously, I ask for clarification. Rylan turns around with a fierce face.

"What is your business to be here? Why Sierra allowed you step in our pack, in my house? Get lost... get lost now. This is all your fault. You killed our son. Murderer!" A hard slap landed on my left cheek, causing a sting vibrating in my ear. "All of you, get out from our land." A vicious snarl coming out from his mouth.

"Rylan, please calm down." Ivan tightens his hugs when Rylan starts throwing things toward us.

"I beg you, Ivan. Please get them out from our pack, from my sight. Or else, I might leave this pack." Rylan spit an anger directly on us. "They are the cause of our son's death."

Ivan gives a signal for us to move out. I don't aware when dad dragged me out of the house. We meet Sierra and Ernest at house veranda. They look a bit haggard wearing dark clothes. Ivan and Allen also wore a black attire. From the earliest word, I just realized the dark attires is meant mourning clothes.

"May I know what exactly happen? Where is Allen?" Ernest avoid the eye contact, averting his eyes to another side.

Sierra release a heavy sigh, "He died. Three weeks ago, we got a call from the police to identify the mutilated body. Through DNA testing, the unrecognized corpse was Allen. Papa still hard to accept the truth. He blamed himself until today. It would be better if you guys didn't show in front them for a while. Please give them a little space to calm down."

"What's the cause of his death?" Dad asks. His face still can't shake off the shock.

"Murderer, maybe. There is no new lead, much like unresolved cases. There was a sign of body fallen from higher place. The coroner speculates that the mutilated was formed after the death due to deep hatred." She takes a deep breathe.

"No, they might get the wrong person?" I said. There is a confidence deep from my mind telling me he is still alive, somewhere. I could not accept it.

"We also have a similar thought that day. But our hope broken when the result of the autopsy and DNA out. Papa fainted. Dad punches the wall in deep regret. For a while, we lost how to comfort our parent. Maybe we only realized how much precious the person when they gone. For me, I will be in regret for a lifetime because I never take an opportunity to understand himself. At some point, I also hurt him by telling that his death will lead our parents to happiness. I am so much wrong caused his death is bringing our parents in total despair."

Yes, I had overhead Allen and Sierra fought in my office a month ago whereas she wished that Allen never exist or return to their pack. She accused him for bringing a lot of trouble to their parents and tainting their family image.

"God has given us a second chance when he safely back home. But I didn't take the chance seriously and hurt his feeling badly." Sierra wipe the tears. "When the date of your wedding? It is not goods if the alpha heir born out of the wedlock. You have a freedom to choose a new mate." The word much like a cynical than a suggestion.

"Wedding? Who?" I frown by the question.

"Of course, you. My brother is so pitiful person. He has grown up in the wilderness and went through a death road all alone. Worst of all, his mate will wed his mistress less a month of rejection. Congratulation, King of Alpha." The sneering getting clear.

"There is no way, I would marry someone."

"Hahahaha... not wed anyone. If that's the case, why the rumor going wild in our kin? The rumor won't spread if no one starts it. Forget it, Your Highness. My brother already assimilated with a soil six feet under. You're free to marry anyone you like from now." Kierra interrupts as she suddenly appears while holding an infant. Her eyes hidden below the black glasses.

"Here the last memento for you." Kierra has thrown a necklace with a ring on it. She enters the house follow behind her twin. The sight of thing on my palm successful breaking the composure. I think I have enough strength to face him now. The reality proven how naive I was. Even after completion of the rejection, I had already lost a part of me with his disappearance. A love born from deep of heart.

"Do you want to pay a respect to him?" A small voice breaking the silence. Ernest, look like a lost soul. I know he was in love with my mate. Hence, the news must have hit him badly.

Pay the respect? – Kaiser sneered inside me.

Since the rejection, Kaiser has turned a little cold toward everyone including me. He blamed me sleeping with Serina, a cheated that caused my mate being a cold person.

"Lead the way." Papa gives a sad smile.

Ernest brings us to small pathway that lead deep into the forest. We reach the cemetery after ten minutes. A gray stone with cursive words breaking my heart to pieces. I kneel on the ground with blurry eyes. No, this is not happening, right? I only have a bad dream that look so real. God, please wake me up soon. The person underneath this soil won't be my mate. They were lying. He is tougher than unmoving stone. They must get a wrong person. A lot of emotion hits me at one. The pain is so unbearable, cutting me off from the will of life.

"Be strong, son." Dad clenched my shoulder.

"This is a dream, right dad?" Dad's eye contains a deep sadness. He closes his eyes to avoid an eye contact.

"Son, your sadness will be torturing him in afterlife. It might not bad for him to leave this cruel world earlier. Maybe he had been free from a burden and miserable life that unknown to us." Papa comforts me.

"It's all my fault. If I never banished him from any pack, he might can hide himself in this pack. I am so cruel toward him. I..."

"There is no use for regret. He already passed away." My head hung down as it is weighing by many things. Allen, why you so stubborn? Do you so satisfy choosing this way of death? Why do you not share any secret with me? Do you find me untrustworthy? I hate you so much Allen. Why you deeply hurt me? Is this one of your revenge for me for being a cheater?

This is no fair, Allen. I put all my trust in you. I dedicated my wholehearted and love only for you. In the end, I got nothing. You just take me as a tool to achieve your devious objective. Why are you treating me like this? Have you never loved me even a bit during our lives together? Am I only eyesore in your heart? Damn, the word of him rejecting me still freshly ringing in my ears. Turning out I was only a biggest joke. Nothing than a naive alpha.

Love made me blind of everything. Causing me unable to differentiate in between real lover and murderer. He stomped on my love like an unworthy trash. Meaning that my existence itself has nothing value for him. I was worse than a dirt underneath his sole. The sadness turns to deep hatred. Why am I still stupidly mourning upon this heartless man grave? He and I have nothing more than an enemy now.

Aren't I should be relief when one of the enemies died? Here, I am still a fool staring at the cold stone with a regret. He has degraded me to be a weakest wolf. Kaiser hides himself in me while denying Allen death. He didn't believe the one underneath this soil was his former mate.

The man that has broken us apart while laughing behind our back. He threw our guard while took useful information for his benefit. "Let's go back." I said after a while.

Without taking another glimpse I left the cemetery. As if leaving all memories with that betrayer. Good by Allen. I think the grave must be suit you better than continue living. The silent accompany during our driving to go back to pack.

My heart tightening when stood in front the house which we shared previously. The sight of the house enough to open my wound again and again. All old memories flash in my mind from the day I brought him in until the day I lost him forever. His kindness and loved was a fake all along. My parents decided to accompany me today, afraid I will do a stupid thing.

The house already in bad condition like a burglar coming in. The decoration and furniture are upside down. The broken glasses are everywhere. These all my deed. I destroyed this place upon returning to pack after rejection. I vented all my anger because this house was contained memories of my mate shadow everywhere.

"The house is not suitable for living, son." Papa sighed once seeing the house condition.

"Aren't it beautiful this way?" I laughed like a maniac.

"Son, why not you live with us for a while?" Dad persuade me.

"No need. I will start living in alpha suite starting tomorrow. You may back to your house. I am not a stupid to waste my life. It is enough for me to be a fool at one point. Please just leave me alone tonight. I will revert to my old self tomorrow." I didn't give them any room for discussion.

The master bedroom also in the mess like downstairs. Half of Allen's belonging already been set on fire a week ago. I rest my exhausted body on the cold bed, leaving the chill air coming from the window. Tonight, will be the last day, I will let myself drown in sadness for that ungrateful mate.

Flashback...

The rejection had been spread like wildfire shortly after I went back from the council. I don't know whom so actively spreading the rumor. I was too tired to explain or clarify the issue as I owed a big debt from my people. It was so humiliating after knowing that I have betrayed them for that so-called mate. I had put our pack almost in a danger.

The kidnapping kids had been safely went home on the next day after Allen vanished. They look a little bit in daze without a memory of being held as a hostage. We have used an expert to dig up the memory but failed. Even the mage unable to help. It looks like the kids and the guards had been put in heavy hypnotized. Fortunately, they had not been inflicted by trauma.

When time becomes a bit calm, I announced that my mate no longer a second alpha for this pack and had been banished from joining any werewolf pack. I offered an apologize for neglecting my duty and put the pack in danger. I could sense my people being disappointed and anger rose up.

Serina also moved out from my house after seeing me being a madman. She waited until I cool down before coming closer again. Seeing her remind me of the main factor that wrecking my marital life. I felt cold from inside and out. From that day on, I get a new title as a cold blood alpha. Usually, I am just showing the coldness toward rogues and hunters.

Yes, he did give me a big lesson that changed me as a new person. A person without heart and kindness. He taught me that kindness and love slowly eroded my strength and strength. Since that day, my kindness and love only exclusively for my blood family. The pack lost its liveliness. Everyone minds their own business, avoiding triggers wrath from me.

The reminiscence stops when a heavy rain hit the pack ground. The chilling air clear my mind quickly. I will lose my mind if keeps staying here. Every nook and corner were bearing his presence. The pain in my chest gradually become dull as time passed. Thankfully, I didn't suffer the intensify rejection pain like others. It's like a blessing. Cain also provided me with rejection pill that miraculously work effectiveness.

On the next day, Serina enters my office. She looks worse than someone whom had been rejected. A blood drains from her face.

"What do you want?" I ask while returning my eyes back on the document. The sight of the woman caused my blood boiling.

Our mate was feeling double than what you felt right now, my human. You see, he needs to withstand with our cheated. Also shared the same house with this woman. – Kaiser stab my conscience.

"I am sorry, Will." The tears flowing out from her swollen eyes. "Uncle told me that he passed away. Is it truth?"

"His death or alive has nothing to do with you. Why do you need to be so concern? Wasn't he almost killed you too?" A feeling of annoying rise up in me.

"I want to visit his tomb, can I?" The woman reduced in sobbing.

"For what reason? A cold tomb can't talk with you. I doubt his family will let you enter their territory."

"I want to ask his forgiveness. I have done a lot of sin..."

"It is really confusing, Serina. I would be glad if you could enlighten me of your problem with my ex-mate." I put down the pen and lean against the leather chair.

My tone had startled her. "Nothing... sorry for wasting your time." She hastily out from the office. What the heck! My mood spoiled by the woman suddenly visiting.

Walking out from the office, I walk aimlessly. The cold lonely tomb and a fleeting figure keep flashing one after another. The people avoid from disturbing me whom deep in the thought.

William, I am cooking now. Be a good husband and go take a bath first. Or else, you will keep me starving because I haven't taken any food since this morning.

I sucked a deep breath when my mind digs up the old memory again. Damn! Should I let aunt to seal the unhappy memory.

"Hey Alpha, are you okay?" Cain greets me. "Did the pain coming again?"

"No, I am okay. What are you doing here?" It's rare to see this maniac doctor walking around the pack ground. Like something is weighing his mind.

"May I ask something?" Cain follows me into the training field. There is no one here at this moment.

"What is it?" I begin to punch the wooden figure with all my might.

"Is Allen really died? Did you see his corpse or remaining?" Why they are so interested in confirming Allen death. Don't they hate him for being a betrayer?

"His family confirmed it via DNA test." I might have heard it wrong, but I do feel Cain mood slowly loosening. As if he is relief from the news.

"Oh, I see." He sits on the logs while seeing me hitting the wooden figure. "How do you feel about the child in Serina womb?"

"Why do you suddenly asking about it?" The truth is I feel nothing toward that child. There is no feeling of paternal or whatsoever it called.

"I know it is not my place to break this news for you." He takes the deep breath. "The child doesn't belong yours."

"What do you mean?" I turn around and face him.

"The recent ultrasound shows the result that the child inhibits two different traits. It is a delta and vampire. The vampire trait is dominance than the werewolf gene. Causing the normal diet can't sustain it hunger. Lately, it begins to suck its host blood. This is a main caused Serina lack of blood."

"Then? What are you so worrying? My father's twin is a vampire, so it is no weird if our gene has some mutation." I try concealing the doubt that sprout up.

"Alpha, I am sorry for conducting a DNA test without your permission." He stares me with a sympathized. "The child is confirmed not yours." He brings out a piece of paper from his pocket. My eyes read the DNA test result with complicated emotion.

A sense of ridicule eating me in and out. The test clearly stated the child and I have not blood related. Meaning that we are total stranger. What the fuck! For months I had hurt the feeling of my mate just to raise someone else child. Serina! How dare you deceive me like this? How dared you take advantage of my feeling? I growl in pierce howling, enough to make the bustling bush void from any noise.

Kaiser takes over and rush to the bitch house. We ignore all watching eyes, barging into Serina's house. Her parents shocked by the sudden appearance. "Where the bitch is?" Kaiser fierce growls. The angry growl that enough to alarm a whole pack ground.

Serina's parent fall on their knees. "She in the room." I climb the stair and kick the door open.

Serina's face drain of color, "I think you should sincerely explain something to me, dear friend. Am I right?" She shuffles to the end of other side bed, keeping a distance from me.

"What do you want from me?"

"Is the child really mine? If not, who is its real father?" I am going straight to the point.

"Of course, it is yours."

"I am giving you a final chance Serina. Don't you try to deceive me any longer." One by one treated me like a fool. They were taking me for granted. Using and deceiving me as they please. I throw the DNA test paper in her face.

Her hands are badly trembles unfolding the piece of paper. "I am sorry... William. I didn't mean to deceive you all this time. I just have no courage to tell the truth after I'd wronged your mate. Because of love, I blindly follow my heart over the rational. I... I..."

"Enough Serina, I don't want to hear any of your nonsense. I just want to know who is the father of this child?" Serina had totally ruined the childhood friendship between us. I deafening my ears from her sobs.

"I don't know... everything happened in a daze. I had been drugged at that night too."

"Do we have a sex? Who was drugged me that night?"

"The one drugged you that night was me. Something goes wrong half way after a waiter delivered a drink to our room. Resulting, I have a sex with a total stranger. I don't know what happened to you. The next morning, I returned back to your bed."

"Meaning that we never have a sex, am I right." Serina nods in ashamed. What's the use of this explanation now? The image of Allen painful face when encountered me accompanied Serina displayed in my mind. The pain that he shows was a genuine one.

"Serina, how dared you wrecked my marriage? What are you taking me for? Wasn't I had drawn a clear boundary between us? I am really disappointed for failed seeing your truth face. Because of your selfishness, I had hurt the feeling of my precious person. You break my trust." I close my eyes, trying to calm down the surging anger taking a considerate of her state of pregnancy. If not, she might suffer a great pain now.

"Will, please forgive me. I am a fool... I will do anything to atone my sin." I avoid when she tries to touch me. The sight of she annoyed me the most.

"From today onward, I don't want to see you in front me again. Or else, I would also banish you like I did for my mate. You are so disgusting." I grounded my teeth hard while saying the word.

"Alpha, please forgive our daughter. This is her first mistake... please take an account of us being serviced the royal family for generation." The mother begged on my legs.

"Please release my leg now." Her father swiftly grabbed his mate. "Alpha, I beg you to forgive my mate insolence attitude. But please don't banish our daughter from this pack. She is at the weakest because of the pregnancy. Please be a mercy on us for this last time." The old man didn't dare to make eye contact.

"Be mercy? Forgive? Do you know how rich the request was? It is indeed her first offend, but it had ruined my whole life. Don't worry, I won't strip her from warrior position or this pack. However, I don't want to see her face in front me anymore. Also, I am giving you a day to tell the truth to pack member. Don't make me reveal the truth caused the consequence more than you can imagine."

"Will, please forgive me." Serina crawls on the floor toward me.

"I can forgive you if you can bring my mate to life again." I turn around the left the suffocating room. There were too many jokes in my life. What more I can't forgive myself for calling my own mate as a slut while defending the real slutty woman.

What is a love? For me it meant a suffering. It estranged my mind from everything, turning me like a stupid clown. Allen, is this your real impression of me at the first sight? Am I easy to be deceived? Getting a double betrayer from someone closed really deeply hurt me. Gladly, I wake up earlier. From now on, I will decide my own life. I don't need any love anymore.

A/N

Hi All, this chapter supposedly out last Sunday. Because of some silly mistake, it postponed until today. Anyway, thanks for touching comment and vote. It meant a lot for me in order to write more. See you on the next chapter.