High School

I wasn't the best at new schools, especially when none of my friends were at my school.

My style was to learn other people's names when other people were talking about them. I let others know about me, instead of doing a circle where you go around saying your name and one thing about yourself. That's what I had done when I was in fifth grade and all the grades below.

But high school was harder because you were with different people every period, and everyone stayed in their little groups.

There were the popular kids, the jocks, the nerds, and the lonely ones. Unfortunately, I was one of the lonely ones.

My name is Lily Percy, I have two older brothers, Lucas and Justin. Justin is in college, but Lucas is a Senior in the same high school. He is one of the popular jocks.

I have a golden retriever named Lexi, and she was my only friend that I got to see every day.

I wished she was with me as I stood outside my high school. I was nervous and nervous, and more nervous. I always worry about what other people think of me, but a few days ago, I realized something.

Think to yourself. Do you think about other people? Do you judge them in your thoughts? Not most people. Everyone's too worried about what other people think about them than what they think of others.

I saw my brother, sitting over on the bleachers with the football team, smoking a cigarette. I tried not to look at him. Since I was eight, I knew he had been doing bad things that my parents would disapprove of, but I didn't want him to get in trouble so I never told them.

Speaking of parents, mine are divorced. Ever since I was nine. I didn't have the best relationship with my parents though.

I found it hard to hang out with my dad because he's super protective and always acts like I'm four. I don't know why, but sometimes I feel this wall between me and him, and it makes me want to ignore him.

I love my mom. She is awesome, but sometimes she does things I'm not proud of. She started drinking after my parent's divorce, almost every night. It's just really scary when she's like that because she's not herself. I sometimes find alcohol bottles in the recycling bin. When I get home from school, she talks really slowly, and she looks unfocused, so I know she's been drinking. I sometimes think she's trying to hide the evidence by hiding the alcohol bottle, but it never works.

Justin was nice to me. We call each other often, and he seems to have a nice life. I miss him though because he always had something to say to me.

I try to stay out of the house to avoid my family. It's sometimes hard, but when I don't want to talk, I build a wall around myself, so I can't hear anything.

By the bleachers, Lucas narrowed his eyes at me, and he started to stand up.

Please don't come over here. I prayed. But of course, he did, and all his smoking friends followed.

"You look lost." He said mockingly. "Need help finding your classroom?" He spoke in a babyish tone, and all his friends laughed.

Lucas waved his cigarette in front of my face, and I tried not to cough. I put up my mental wall, ignored them, and walked on.

I felt him follow me, and I tried to reinforce my wall with my sadness and annoyance.

"Look at this nerd." He said to his friends. "Walking all by herself. Lily's one of the lonely ones."

I wanted so badly to plug up my ears and run into the school, but I kept walking. I knew they would get bored if I didn't react, so I pulled out my phone to look at my schedule.

Homeroom first. That was obvious.

She knew her way around the school because Justin had gone to this same high school, and she had explored when they were at his basketball games.

My brother followed me to homeroom, but the teacher waved him and his jocks away, and I gave her a grateful look.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and looked around. I saw lots of other kids I didn't know. I knew nobody here, which was a letdown.

The teacher had written her name on the blackboard, Ms. Wright.

She looked nice, and she smiled around the classroom. I saw her eyes flicker for a moment as she passed her gaze over a girl who was twirling her hair around her finger. I could already tell that she was the snobby popular kid.

"Hello everyone!" The teacher exclaimed. "My name is Ms. Wright." I noticed she had curly black hair, a white blouse, and jeans.

She went into a long explanation of the school, the procedure of each class, our schedule, and a whole bunch of other things I already knew. Justin had prepared me for everything.

Then she did attendance, and a bunch of other stuff, and then got to the interesting part.

Tryouts.

I had been a big swimmer ever since I was three. I won trophy after trophy and broke record after record. My point is, I'm very fast. I planned to try out for the swim team and be the first Freshman to break all the female records.

"Now let's see..." Ms. Wright said, flipping through a sheet of paper. "Anyone for Basketball?"

More than half the boys raised their hands.

"Volleyball?"

Half the girls raised their hands.

"Baseball?"

"Soccer?"

"Swimming?"

I was the only one who raised my hand, and I felt dumb. Everyone stared at me, and I knew what they were thinking. How could a Freshman be on the swim team?

Finally, the bell rang, and I grabbed my backpack. I didn't want to draw attention so I tried to be the fourth one out, and I tried not to be noticed as I slipped my phone back out to check for my next class.

Math. Right. I wasn't the best at it, but I expanded in seventh grade. Some things were still hard for me, but I learned how to do most of them.

Our math teacher, Mr. Jhon, went through what we would be learning this semester and explained some stuff to us. He didn't teach us any math, but he gave us a worksheet to work on after school.

My next classes were the same, Language, Literature, and Social Studies. Explain, then homework. Explain, then homework. It went on and on until finally, lunch.

I was dreading lunch. I had no one to sit with, and I felt dumb for bringing my own lunch while almost everyone got school lunch.

I ended up sitting at an empty table, eating my ham sandwich.

"Hey."

I looked up, expecting it to be Lucas, but a girl was there. Her hair was blond and wavy. She was wearing a Nike sweatshirt and jean shorts.

"Hi," I said.

"Can I sit here?" She asked, holding her school lunch in her hands.

"Sure."

I wasn't sure why this girl was choosing to sit with me, because I was lonely and boring, and dumb. At least that's what Lucas says, but I know not to listen to him.

"What's your name?" I asked, then hesitated. Should I have let her ask that?

"Jessica." She said. "What's yours?"

"Lily."

We talked for a while, mostly about our family and what schools we used to go to. We compared schedules, and she was in all my classes after lunch. Next was P.E., Geometry, Science, and Writing.

I loved to write. It was one of my favorite hobbies. A year ago, I got accepted into the most elite writing program in the state. I still go to classes every Monday and Friday.

The bell rang again and I put my lunch back in my backpack.

"Wanna walk to class together?" I asked.

"Of course," Jessica answered, smiling. She hesitated for a moment, and I thought with a jolt of fear that she was regretting her answer. "Hey. Do you wanna come over after school?"

I wanted to hit myself. "I'm sorry," I said, and her face fell. "I have swim tryouts. Maybe tomorrow."

Jessica's smile returned. "I'll watch you, and then you can come over after."

I returned her smile, and we walked to class together. I noticed Lucas walking a few feet behind us. I knew he was going to come up to us, and I rolled my eyes as he stopped us in our tracks.

But this time I felt braver. I felt stronger.

"Go away, Lucas," I said. "Nobody wants you here."

"Big words," He said, and I could tell he was a little taken aback that I spoke up to him. "For a small elf."

I rolled my eyes again, and I appreciated the annoyed faces on some of the football players.

I turned to Jessica who was staring at him angrily. "Jessica, this is my boneheaded brother, Lucas."

Jessica looked over at him. "Of yeah." She said. "The dude who was singing Baby Shark by his locker."

The football players started laughing so hard that some of them fell over. They tried to hide their amusement, but their shoulders shook in laughter.

Lucas grabbed my wrist, twisting it painfully. Jessica shouted, "Hey!" at him, but he ignored her.

"You'll be sorry for that, elf." He said, letting go of my arm forcefully and stalking away.

His jocks followed behind him, still snickering.

Me and Jessica burst into laughter, but my arm still hurt and I rubbed it carefully. It was red in places, and I held my arm a little out so Jessica would notice, but she kept walking.

"I have a younger brother in second grade." She said. "Younger siblings are always the best." I nod.

Jessica stopped outside the gym and said, "Are you okay Lily?"

I hesitate, wondering what to say. Jessica didn't need to know about my personal problems with my family, so I just said, "Yeah. My wrist just hurts a little bit."

Jessica gave me a pitying look, but before she could say anything, two boys walked up to them.

Jessica smiled and walked up to the first boy. A tall guy with black hair, the other was shorter, but he had the same good looks as the first one.

"Wesley!" Jessica said. "It's so good to see you! How was your summer?"
Wesley didn't answer, only gazed into Jessica's eyes with deep compassion, and kissed her. I felt extremely uncomfortable and wanted to leave, but Jessica grabbed my arm.

"Lily, this is my boyfriend, Wesley." She said. I waved, and the boy next to her gasped.

"Lily?" He said. "From fifth grade?" I turn toward him and recognize the two boys. Wesley and Louie were both in my classes in fifth grade and...

I swallowed. I dated Louie then, but he broke up with me because I 'didn't bring enough to the table', whatever that meant. After that, we stayed friends, but we all went our separate ways.

Wesley and Louie had both dated my best friend, Aubrie. When I dated Louie I thought things would be different. But of course, I was wrong.

"It's good to see you again," I said shyly and wanted to kick myself. Louie didn't answer, but he stood there shocked, but finally, he stuttered.

"Yeah, yeah. It's really good to see you." He said. "I- we missed you a lot."

I raised my eyebrows for a moment like I was exaggerating, but suddenly the bell rang and the four of us made our way into the gym.

The gym teacher, Coach Brinder, separated us into partners. I guess he saw that Louie and I were a bit uncomfortable with each other, so he partnered us up while we did partner stretches.

I tried to make conversation, but Louie never answered. He just stared into my eyes like I was a ghost, with the same look Wesley had.

Unfortunately or fortunately, I couldn't decide, both Wesley and Louie were in our next classes. I knew I needed to focus on swim tryouts, but I couldn't shake the feeling that Louie was watching me all class.

I was so distracted by him, that our Literature teacher Mrs. G called me up to the front after class was over. "I know it's the first day of school, but you should know that you need to pay attention. This isn't Middle School, please be better next time."

By the time swim tryouts came along, I was a nervous wreck. My brother's (Justin) friend was the swim coach, so I knew that he would go extra hard on me.

Jessica and Wesley had decided to stay and watch, so that was double the pressure. Everything seemed to be riding on my shoulders, but I tried to remember what Justin had told me.
"It's exactly like swim practice." He had said. "You got this."

I wasn't sure if I did. I had never felt so nervous before for a race, but as I changed into my swimsuit and Coach Alex blew the whistle, my nerves vanished.

The air ran through my ears as I jumped off the block, and plunged into the water. It rushed around me, and I began moving my arms swiftly.

I opened my eyes and saw the blue pool ground running underneath me. The black "I" flashed by like a torpedo. I sensed the wall close by, and my freestyle strokes became faster as I gained momentum to do a flip turn.

I passed the T near the end of the wall, and then flipped with such speed it made me dizzy. I pushed off, staying on my back for three seconds before flipping onto my stomach again.

As the wall came nearer, I turned on my side and touched the wall with my outstretched finger. Yes!

I looked up, shaking the water off my face to see Coach Alex staring down at me. He looked at his timer, then said in a wondering voice, "24:98" I looked behind me and saw the other swimmers were just finishing, while some were only at the halfway point.

Coach Alex held out his hand and I took it. He pulled me out of the water, and I shivered. The water splattered onto the pavement, but Coach didn't seem to mind.

"I've seen enough of you." He said roughly. My heart fell. What? Already. I thought I was the fastest! He can't just send me away!

"R-really?" I stammered. "Shouldn't I at least swim a few more laps?"

Coach shook his head, and walked away.

I stared after him, and took off my goggles and my cap, rushing into the locker room. My head was spinning with thoughts. Am I not good enough? But I finished before everyone else, what could I have done wrong? Did I forget something on my turn?

I couldn't think of a single thing anyone could forget.

I sat down on one of the locker room benches. Are school wasn't that fancy, and there were only plain cement walls around me. It was cold. Very cold.

I sighed, changing into my after-school clothes, gray sweatpants and a loose black shirt. I quickly packed up all my things (Towel, swimsuit, cap, goggles) in my swim bag and walked back into the sunshine.

I thought the warm sun would cheer me up, but evidently, I was wrong.

Jessica and Wesley ran over to me, and I smiled at them. I imagined my internal wall keeping in all my feelings that shouldn't be shone, and being happy on the outside.

She did this often, so it was easy.

"Are you okay?" Wesley and Jessica asked at the same time. I was surprised. Wesley didn't know me that well.

"Oh yeah totally." I said happily. "Yeah, Coach was just probably busy. And who cares if I make it on the team? I still have SHARP." SHARP was a private swim club I did. It was a two hour practice in the morning and at night.

Jessica gave me a concerned look. "You sure?" She asked. "Wesley and I talked to Coach Alex and he didn't say anything." I shook my head.

"Yes. I'm fine, honestly." Wesley tilted his head, but as he was about to say something I interrupted. "Am I still coming to your house Jessica?"

Jessica made a "Oh!" sound. She looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, Lily. I also made a promise to Wesley that he could... come over."

I raised my eyebrows. I knew Jessica too well to know that they were just going to make out.

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